Dear Bill........

[Hawg73]

Dear Bill,

How's it going? Been busy lately? I’d bet my latest draft cliché that you are. I'll give up "player X can get skinny and penetrate".

I don’t want to take up too much of your board-stacking time here but I’ve been following the Pats drafts since about the time Phil Olsen (you remember—Merlin’s kid) told us to go blank ourselves and we took him anyway, so I’ve seen a few hits and misses along the way and I had a few thoughts to share, if you can bear with me for a few minutes I’d appreciate it.

First off, I also appreciate the fact that you’ve given us a great team to follow and three Super Bowls along the way and I believe most of that is due to your brain, which by the way is magnificent, and I don’t want to come off like some kind of expert, but frankly I think you could use all the help you can get. My qualifications are that I correctly predicted at least one of your draft picks for five straight years on Patriots Planet, which I know you will be impressed by. Last year wasn't one of them but I'll get to that.

As I’ve said I’ve been around for a while and frankly that Nick Caserio is one scary dude with a bad case of crazy-eye. I’d be careful around that guy if I were you, so at least listen to what I have to say.

I’ll admit that I was a little pissed-off when you skipped Barwin and Matthews last year, started making a bunch of trades and picked Ron Brace when even Ol' knew he couldn’t play. I thought my head was going to explode from that one when you up and tabbed Sebastian Vollmer whom my PFW draft guide had listed as the 27th best OT last year, and then, yes, my head did actually explode. What a mess. Of course, he turned out to look great so you seem to giveth and taketh away much like the Lord and/or Tim Tebow. I get that. Nobody hits on all of them, Bill. The important thing to remember is that this year you have to.

Sometimes its just not that smart to trade down and take a safe guy like the year we traded 2 for 1 with the Niners and got the immortal Trevor Matich with our pick. They took some guy named Rice. I'm just sayin’.

You remember at the end of last year when we got our asses kicked by Baltimore? We couldn’t stop Ray Rice, pressure Flacco or move the ball?

To us it suddenly felt like the floorboards had fallen away beneath our feet and we were out-muscled and out-talented by a team whose heads we used to bounce off the water bubbler every year. That sucked as I'm sure you will agree.

Now, we have a really good stash of picks this year thanks to all those past trades and it might just be time to use them on good players to get us back on top. I mean now, this year. If you trade them all for “value” in future years then I am going to be very pissed. Don’t make me come down there. Please. You don’t want that.

Let’s start with 22. Not a bad place to be I think you would agree. Its Wilfork-stealing territory and some guy you have your eye on might drop right into your lap and fill one of the holes that seem to be springing up all over the place. I’ll mention here that I was around when we took the unknown Russ Francis way back in the day and it wasn’t long before everybody could see that this guy was a special player. It was pretty much the same deal with Ben Coates only nobody knew who he was coming out of Livingstone, which wasn’t exactly Michigan or USC. He drove defenses crazy back in the days when Tight End production seemed more important here that it does to you now.

Anyhow, the point is that theres this guy named Jermaine Gresham coming out and damn if he didn’t look like a cross between those two big guys when he was rumbling through, around and over defenders in ’08. We both know he had the knee and didn’t play last year, but I think he can be a special kind of guy and I bet Tom would appreciate having him around. You’ll remember Tom as the guy you surrounded with Aiken, Slater and Stanback in a playoff game last year and that just plain wasn’t fair to the guy. You can’t win in this league by putting all your eggs in just a few baskets and just because you got tired of watching Watson short-arm the ball when we needed a big catch doesn’t mean that nobody else can do the job.

Think of it this way: if other teams are scared shitless of your TE then maybe they will quit blitzing so much so you won’t need them staying home to help your OTs all the time. I’d be pleased if you would just take a long look at the guy or we’ll probably be stuck with the next Andy Stokes or some guy named after seaweed. Don’t make me bring up Dave Stachelski or Jabari Holloway. I don't want to go there.

Now, we both hope Wes is back eventually and you did a nice job finding Edelman who could someday end up being spoken of in the same breath with Brady, Troy and Mosi as late-pick Pats that done real good.

That was one hell of a pick, but you can’t expect the kid to carry the load this year. Moss is going to be covered like a manhole all year so you can’t stop with just Gresham.

Try to see if you can find a wideout with a little size and a short arrest record if it’s not too much trouble. I’d recommend Arrelious Benn and/or Mardy Gilyard whom I know you have already taken a gander at.

Please don’t let yourself get spooked by the whole Chad Jackson thing. How were you supposed to know the kid would wear a Yankee hat to his introductory press conference? That and the fact that he thought the wonderlic test was to see how fast ice cream melted. Maybe you might consider simplifying the offense a wee bit so we could actually find a productive rookie wideout like the other 31 teams in the league seem to every year.

Since we’re talking about offense I think you really need to take a long look at the running backs. Faulk, Morris and Taylor are almost ready for Rascal scooters and while we all love Kevin it might be time to find a horse to take the bulk of the carries from them and poor Laurence.

The kid from Fresno St. looks good and so does Toby Gerhart. Maybe you could steal Gerhart in the 3rd somehow. Remember that Notre Dame game last year when he carried the ball and half their defense about 38 times? Everybody on the field was sucking wind except that kid. He’s got a little clock-killin’ Dillon in him if you want my opinion. A winner. So he’ll be done in four years. You’ll probably be coaching Navy by then, anyways so might as well get a couple more rings to remember Foxboro by.

I know you don’t draft a whole lot of those tweener-type guys to play OLB, but we took a D lineman a few years back named Andre Tippett and he worked out just fine. So did Big Willie and Bruschi. Ask around and see if there are any kids this year that know karate and you’ll be on the right track.

Jerry Hughes might be a good one, but you’ll have to play a few top cards to get him. Let’s put the situation in perspective this way: before one game last year Tully and Ninkovich were hurt and I remember thinking “Shit! What are we going to do without those two guys?” That’s sort of a bad sign.

If you don’t heed my advice and take a pass rusher high then I’m going to take that as an indication that Shawn “Secret Weapon” Crable is ready to hit the ground running, but you might want to hedge your bets on him a little and find a couple-two-t’ree guys that can bring some heat. You know…..just in case.

I do have one thing that I really, really need you to think about this year. Besides drafting some big, crazy guys who like to hurt people and score a lot of TDs, you need to be very careful not to draft another midget cornerback. I mean that.

I’ve heard the whole theory from Pioli about how short guys are more agile and quick, etc. etc. but all I know is that any receiver in the league can be wearing Wilhite like a dinner jacket and still catch the ball in his top pocket without much of a problem. If you are 5’9” and spend half your time falling down then the chances are you aren’t what would be termed your elite athlete.

You want to take a little person then grab that Arenas kid from Alabama in the 4th and let him play nickel and run back kicks. It isn’t a crime to have somebody back there that can take it to the house once in a while. Any higher than the 4th it better be a Revis clone because frankly your track record isn’t too impressive back there. Cough *Brock Williams*, cough. Just pull the plug on the ill-fated Wilhite/Wheatley experiment and cut our losses, would you?

I know this is running long, so I better wrap it up by saying we have a ton of late picks and sometimes they turn out to be one hell of a bonus. Remember big Sam Hunt from the 70’s? He was taken with the 374th pick, 15th round and that didn’t stop him from knocking OJ right on his wallet a few times. Try to find a few of those kind of guys and, by-the-by, that punter named Zoltan speaks German in case you want Seabass to feel more at home in Foxboro while he learns to perfect his Masshole.

He’d be worth one of our 28 7th rounders.

Best Regards,
H73

[chevss454]

Very enjoyable read. Thanks 73

Chev

[shirtsleeve]

Dear Bill.
I want my blue dress back.
Thank You,
Monica.

Dear Bill.
Dont be home tonight,
I'm bringing a girl home with me.
Thank You,
Hillary.

Dear Bill.
Comin over with the girls again?
Just Wonderin
Fuzzy.



Oops, wrong Bill...

[king of kings]

Great Read hawg I can't disagree with a thing you said.

[Box_O_Rocks]

I'm doing the paperwork for the TimTebow73 fan club with a first meeting at Patriots Place - sign up early.

[PatsFanLisa]

Great job as always. Humor aside, you are SO right on the money!!

[Dwight Schrute]

Great work Hawg!

Perfect blend of comedic wit/painful and happy Pats history/actual draft targets.

[chevss454]

Originally Posted by Box_O_Rocks

I'm doing the paperwork for the TimTebow73 fan club with a first meeting at Patriots Place - sign up early.

Box, please don't tease us like that. Teasing is considered impolite, you know...Head smacking and whipping would be far better than the thought of Mr. Tebow in a Patriots uni.
:whip2:

[Bill Bellechick]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

Dear Bill,

How's it going? Been busy lately? I’d bet my latest draft cliché that you are. I'll give up "player X can get skinny and penetrate".

I don’t want to take up too much of your board-stacking time here but I’ve been following the Pats drafts since about the time Phil Olsen (you remember—Merlin’s kid) told us to go blank ourselves and we took him anyway, so I’ve seen a few hits and misses along the way and I had a few thoughts to share, if you can bear with me for a few minutes I’d appreciate it.

First off, I also appreciate the fact that you’ve given us a great team to follow and three Super Bowls along the way and I believe most of that is due to your brain, which by the way is magnificent, and I don’t want to come off like some kind of expert, but frankly I think you could use all the help you can get. My qualifications are that I correctly predicted at least one of your draft picks for five straight years on Patriots Planet, which I know you will be impressed by. Last year wasn't one of them but I'll get to that.

As I’ve said I’ve been around for a while and frankly that Nick Caserio is one scary dude with a bad case of crazy-eye. I’d be careful around that guy if I were you, so at least listen to what I have to say.

I’ll admit that I was a little pissed-off when you skipped Barwin and Matthews last year, started making a bunch of trades and picked Ron Brace when even Ol' knew he couldn’t play. I thought my head was going to explode from that one when you up and tabbed Sebastian Vollmer whom my PFW draft guide had listed as the 27th best OT last year, and then, yes, my head did actually explode. What a mess. Of course, he turned out to look great so you seem to giveth and taketh away much like the Lord and/or Tim Tebow. I get that. Nobody hits on all of them, Bill. The important thing to remember is that this year you have to.

Sometimes its just not that smart to trade down and take a safe guy like the year we traded 2 for 1 with the Niners and got the immortal Trevor Matich with our pick. They took some guy named Rice. I'm just sayin’.

You remember at the end of last year when we got our asses kicked by Baltimore? We couldn’t stop Ray Rice, pressure Flacco or move the ball?

To us it suddenly felt like the floorboards had fallen away beneath our feet and we were out-muscled and out-talented by a team whose heads we used to bounce off the water bubbler every year. That sucked as I'm sure you will agree.

Now, we have a really good stash of picks this year thanks to all those past trades and it might just be time to use them on good players to get us back on top. I mean now, this year. If you trade them all for “value” in future years then I am going to be very pissed. Don’t make me come down there. Please. You don’t want that.

Let’s start with 22. Not a bad place to be I think you would agree. Its Wilfork-stealing territory and some guy you have your eye on might drop right into your lap and fill one of the holes that seem to be springing up all over the place. I’ll mention here that I was around when we took the unknown Russ Francis way back in the day and it wasn’t long before everybody could see that this guy was a special player. It was pretty much the same deal with Ben Coates only nobody knew who he was coming out of Livingstone, which wasn’t exactly Michigan or USC. He drove defenses crazy back in the days when Tight End production seemed more important here that it does to you now.

Anyhow, the point is that theres this guy named Jermaine Gresham coming out and damn if he didn’t look like a cross between those two big guys when he was rumbling through, around and over defenders in ’08. We both know he had the knee and didn’t play last year, but I think he can be a special kind of guy and I bet Tom would appreciate having him around. You’ll remember Tom as the guy you surrounded with Aiken, Slater and Stanback in a playoff game last year and that just plain wasn’t fair to the guy. You can’t win in this league by putting all your eggs in just a few baskets and just because you got tired of watching Watson short-arm the ball when we needed a big catch doesn’t mean that nobody else can do the job.

Think of it this way: if other teams are scared shitless of your TE then maybe they will quit blitzing so much so you won’t need them staying home to help your OTs all the time. I’d be pleased if you would just take a long look at the guy or we’ll probably be stuck with the next Andy Stokes or some guy named after seaweed. Don’t make me bring up Dave Stachelski or Jabari Holloway. I don't want to go there.

Now, we both hope Wes is back eventually and you did a nice job finding Edelman who could someday end up being spoken of in the same breath with Brady, Troy and Mosi as late-pick Pats that done real good.

That was one hell of a pick, but you can’t expect the kid to carry the load this year. Moss is going to be covered like a manhole all year so you can’t stop with just Gresham.

Try to see if you can find a wideout with a little size and a short arrest record if it’s not too much trouble. I’d recommend Arrelious Benn and/or Mardy Gilyard whom I know you have already taken a gander at.

Please don’t let yourself get spooked by the whole Chad Jackson thing. How were you supposed to know the kid would wear a Yankee hat to his introductory press conference? That and the fact that he thought the wonderlic test was to see how fast ice cream melted. Maybe you might consider simplifying the offense a wee bit so we could actually find a productive rookie wideout like the other 31 teams in the league seem to every year.

Since we’re talking about offense I think you really need to take a long look at the running backs. Faulk, Morris and Taylor are almost ready for Rascal scooters and while we all love Kevin it might be time to find a horse to take the bulk of the carries from them and poor Laurence.

The kid from Fresno St. looks good and so does Toby Gerhart. Maybe you could steal Gerhart in the 3rd somehow. Remember that Notre Dame game last year when he carried the ball and half their defense about 38 times? Everybody on the field was sucking wind except that kid. He’s got a little clock-killin’ Dillon in him if you want my opinion. A winner. So he’ll be done in four years. You’ll probably be coaching Navy by then, anyways so might as well get a couple more rings to remember Foxboro by.

I know you don’t draft a whole lot of those tweener-type guys to play OLB, but we took a D lineman a few years back named Andre Tippett and he worked out just fine. So did Big Willie and Bruschi. Ask around and see if there are any kids this year that know karate and you’ll be on the right track.

Jerry Hughes might be a good one, but you’ll have to play a few top cards to get him. Let’s put the situation in perspective this way: before one game last year Tully and Ninkovich were hurt and I remember thinking “Shit! What are we going to do without those two guys?” That’s sort of a bad sign.

If you don’t heed my advice and take a pass rusher high then I’m going to take that as an indication that Shawn “Secret Weapon” Crable is ready to hit the ground running, but you might want to hedge your bets on him a little and find a couple-two-t’ree guys that can bring some heat. You know…..just in case.

I do have one thing that I really, really need you to think about this year. Besides drafting some big, crazy guys who like to hurt people and score a lot of TDs, you need to be very careful not to draft another midget cornerback. I mean that.

I’ve heard the whole theory from Pioli about how short guys are more agile and quick, etc. etc. but all I know is that any receiver in the league can be wearing Wilhite like a dinner jacket and still catch the ball in his top pocket without much of a problem. If you are 5’9” and spend half your time falling down then the chances are you aren’t what would be termed your elite athlete.

You want to take a little person then grab that Arenas kid from Alabama in the 4th and let him play nickel and run back kicks. It isn’t a crime to have somebody back there that can take it to the house once in a while. Any higher than the 4th it better be a Revis clone because frankly your track record isn’t too impressive back there. Cough *Brock Williams*, cough. Just pull the plug on the ill-fated Wilhite/Wheatley experiment and cut our losses, would you?

I know this is running long, so I better wrap it up by saying we have a ton of late picks and sometimes they turn out to be one hell of a bonus. Remember big Sam Hunt from the 70’s? He was taken with the 374th pick, 15th round and that didn’t stop him from knocking OJ right on his wallet a few times. Try to find a few of those kind of guys and, by-the-by, that punter named Zoltan speaks German in case you want Seabass to feel more at home in Foxboro while he learns to perfect his Masshole.

He’d be worth one of our 28 7th rounders.

Best Regards,
H73

Very entertaining read.

I've seen this style of writing somewhere before...........have you ever written for Barstool?

[Dwight Schrute]

Originally Posted by bill bellechick

very entertaining read.

I've seen this style of writing somewhere before...........have you ever written for barstool?

roflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflrofl

[Hawg73]

Originally Posted by Bill Bellechick

Very entertaining read.

I've seen this style of writing somewhere before...........have you ever written for Barstool?

Barstool? Never heard of it, but thank you.

:spaghetti:

[ItsGood_ItsGood]

Originally Posted by Bill Bellechick

Very entertaining read.

I've seen this style of writing somewhere before...........have you ever written for Barstool?

Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble. But this deserves a lot more praise than comparing it to anything I've written. It was insightful, on-point, funny and part diatribe/ part history lesson (Sam Hunt was really the 374th pick? That's mindboggling.) And chock full of my favorite writing element: jargon. "slammed their heads into the water cooler" vs "knocked OJ on his wallet" is like trying to pick which of my kids I like best.

I would disagree with a couple of conclusions. I think the future is brighter for our current crop of DBs than the author. I think the team values Wilhite, Butler's workload went up as the year went on and next year we'll all Pat Chung tonight. Also, my personal favorite Draft cliche for 2010 is "quicker than fast." Ketchup, catsup. But beyond that, I would take comfort in knowing that His Hoodedness is carrying a printed edition of this in his back pocket in the War Room.

[gomezcat]

Awesome stuff, Hawg. Agree with your brother re the DB situation, though. I think they're fine and I think a good pass-rush will prove it.

[TGIASM]

Good work!

It will be interesting to see what the Pats will do on the draft.