Random Observations: Bonking the Donks

[Hawg73]

It was quite an impressive win for our stuggling heroes last night. As bad as the Pats looked in their two losses—Denver actually played worse last night. It was a great show and gave a big boost to the entire organization, with the caveat that Denver’s D is so inept that they appear to have no shot to even get to .500 for the season despite a hot start. Not to be a wet blanket or anything, but that defense flat out sucks.


* First off, our “over-controlling” (Tony K.) head coach (along with McDaniel) took a look at the film and decided to overpower Denver’s tiny widdle defensive front with a punishing ground attack led by Sammy Morris and a fired-up Matt Light who has performed extremely well so far this year. Over-controlling Denver genius Mike Shanahan decided at some point to stock his D with speedy little guys ala the Colts, but putting old buddy Duane Robertson, Elvis Dumervil and Boss Bailey out there was like waving a giant flag at opposing teams that said “PLEASE RUN STRAIGHT AT US” and we really didn’t have to agonize much over the game plan. It was the most yards rushing by a Pats team since the 1985 Super Bowl team featuring Tony Collins, Craig James and Mosi Tatupu running behind John Hannah and co. for a little historical perspective and was a thing of beauty to witness. They drove Denver into the turf all night long to the point where they flat out quit late in the game.


* Speaking of Shanahan, the MNF announcing crew (more on them later) seemed to be struggling to come up with an analogy to describe his quasi-psychotic pissed-off stare as his team came unglued shortly after kickoff. Every time the camera focused on him I felt like I had seen that look before and then it hit me—it was the same look my father gave me when I was 12 years old and got caught shoplifting at Zayre’s. It creeped me out, I want to tell you. I feel sorry for Shanny's kids.

* In the first quarter, Jay Cutler spent more time looking at his right index finger than I did at my own after the first time I got to third base with Marie P. on a memorable night back when dinosaurs still ruled the earth.

* This just in: Billy Yates still sucks.

* On a related topic, there was a Stephen Neal sighting early in the game, which gave rise to feelings of unbuoyed optimism that things were looking up on the troubled right side of the OL, but Neal promptly got caught in a switch with new RT Mark Levoir leading to another early Denver sack. It was then right back to poor Billy, although I couldn’t tell who was supposed to block whom on that particular play. Neal later mysteriously reappeared in the 2nd half and I sincerely hope that he is in the starting lineup next week against St. Louis or we might soon be breaking in yet another inexperienced QB, but the Pats policies regarding injured players have their own mysterious ways, so you never know. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

* With 12 minutes to go in the 2nd quarter, Jaws Jaworski uttered the following sentence: “It was the black….I mean BACK (Kevin Faulk), who missed his swing block on that sack” and somewhere in a downtown New York office building, Al Sharpton reached for his cell phone.

* It was great to see old pal Dre Bly getting his ass scorched by Moss for the first of Randy’s 2 TDs. Bly is the guy who was immortalized in Patriots lore for his unwittingly ironic pronouncement during the 2001 Super Bowl that “Tonight a new dynasty is born”. He then spent a few long years in Millen State Penitentiary in Detroit and was riding the pine for a hapless Denver D prior to Champ Bailey pulling his groin trying to cover Moss. Since the Donks already had 6 guys listed with groin injuries going into last night, that team appears to be in the midst of a major epidemic of junk failure. Denver needs to hire themselves a trainer specializing in groins. I recommend they consider Richard Simmons.

(EDIT: the dynasty quote was NOT from Bly, but I'd bet he said something really stupid)

* Speaking of Randy, I got a little nervous after his 2nd TD when he lept tentatively into the Gillette stands and into the arms of a Hulk Hogan clone wearing a Viking outfit. He was hanging up there so long that I thought for a second that he might have impaled himself on the guy’s horns.

* Next year we should try to draft a guy named Jarvusben Ellis-Green and completely screw up every announcer in the business.

* While on the topic of announcers, I can barely stomach listening to Tony Kornheiser. I realize some people actually like the dude, but apparently Bill Belichick isn’t one of them because Tony revealed that BB “won’t talk to me”. That handed me a laugh. Kornheiser’s lowlights on the night were many, but in the interest of brevity the worst may have been his ham-handed attempt to wax eloquent on Jay Cutler’s injury. After Cutler left the field Tony said: “He walked off the field….alone…..holding himself….his finger still sore” then apparently realizing that didn’t have the proper impact he emphasized: “he walked off SLOWLY.” I almost feel sorry for the guy, but anyone that is fundamentally incapable of making it through a single game without making at least one “Dancing with the Stars” reference doesn’t deserve anyone's pity.

* There was so much smoke last night from the endzone minutemen’s muskets that next week’s (long) Denver injury report might include a few guys listed as “questionable – smoke inhalation”

* In the midst of Matt Cassel’s night of redemption there was a major downer in seeing the last play of Rodney Harrison’s long and accomplished career. It was instantly obvious that he will never play another down and that is a sad NFL reality. Rodney was one of a kind and his toughness and leadership will be next to impossible to replace even as his skills have declined. The torch will now be passed to Brandon Meriweather and I hope he is ready to take another step up. Cassel won’t be the only guy on the team with big shoes to fill anymore.

* The best quote of the night came from Matt Cassel via the announcing crew and went something like: “I’m not Tom Brady. My teammates and our fans wish I was Tom Brady. I even wish I was Tom Brady.” The only was it could have been better was if he added that “hell, my WIFE wishes I was Tom Brady.”

[Annihilus]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

* In the first quarter, Jay Cutler spent more time looking at his right index finger than I did at my own after the first time I got to third base with Marie P. on a memorable night back when dinosaurs still ruled the earth.

OMFG dood.

Hawg73 For the Win!

The whole thing was great, as usual, but LOLOL

[Muse]

Bravo Hawg!

[dchester]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

* This just in: Billy Yates still sucks.

Amen to that. I can't remember the last time I saw someone whiff the way he did on some plays last night. I'm still trying to figure out how you can be right in front of a 300 pound lineman, and not even touch him.

[grog]

Wow! Awesome summary.

[PatsFanLisa]

Just sheer genius here, Hawg!!!

[Undertaker #59]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

* It was great to see old pal Dre Bly getting his ass scorched by Moss for the first of Randy’s 2 TDs. Bly is the guy who was immortalized in Patriots lore for his unwittingly ironic pronouncement during the 2001 Super Bowl that “Tonight a new dynasty is born”.

Great post as usual Hawg. Just one correction - it was Ricky Proehl who said that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricky_Proehl

[bishbash]

[mikiemo83]

great stuff

I think my wife wishes I was Tom Brady so I can respect Cassel's concern


I loved seeing Neal back out there for Morris' TD

I love how Light is run blocking well but he still gets burnt bad once a game - he did again last night in the 3rd quarter I believe

I worry about Morris' Knee injury, a Ben Jarvis-Green (or what ever it is) Faulk tandem worries me

Yates does suck but Toni, Toni, Toni sucks more as an announcer

[Hawg73]

Originally Posted by Undertaker #59

Great post as usual Hawg. Just one correction - it was Ricky Proehl who said that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricky_Proehl

I stand corrected, but am pretty sure he said something really stupid during that game that made it onto the official video. Anyone know what it was?

Sometimes I go too much on faulty memory.

[RoadGrader]

Hawgie......Andre Tippett and some Patriette sunshines approve of your Game Summation

[tehrick67]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

I stand corrected, but am pretty sure he said something really stupid during that game that made it onto the official video. Anyone know what it was?

Sometimes I go too much on faulty memory.

I think he said "I like our chances"..and something about the #1 offense.

[PatsFanLisa]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

I stand corrected, but am pretty sure he said something really stupid during that game that made it onto the official video. Anyone know what it was?

Sometimes I go too much on faulty memory.

You're way too modest. We all know you have a mind and memory like a steel trap.

[Dwight Schrute]

Great pen Hawg!

Love the stinkie finger reference!LMFAO!

[Denism]

Originally Posted by Hawg73

In the midst of Matt Cassel’s night of redemption there was a major downer in seeing the last play of Rodney Harrison’s long and accomplished career. It was instantly obvious that he will never play another down and that is a sad NFL reality. Rodney was one of a kind and his toughness and leadership will be next to impossible to replace even as his skills have declined. The torch will now be passed to Brandon Meriweather and I hope he is ready to take another step up. Cassel won’t be the only guy on the team with big shoes to fill anymore.

I really hope your wrong on this one Hawg

He will be missed so much even just in the locker room, off the field, not just when he playing (fingers crossed hes gonna be ok)

FOXBORO -- The emotional of leader of the Patriots, Rodney Harrison, had to be carted off the field at the end of the third quarter with a knee injury, cheers from the Gillette Stadium crowd raining down on him as he was riding off. Harrison gave a brief wave of recognition, appearing as though he was fighting back tears.

Harrison may have been waving goodbye. The 15-year veteran is in the last year of his contract with New England, and at 35 years old, it may be too much for him to come back from another season-ending injury. Harrison missed much of the 2005 season after tearing all three major ligaments in his knee against the Steelers.

"We'll have to see how that is. It doesn't look too good," Bill Belichick said of Harrison's injury after the game.

As he lay on his back on the turf -- there was no contact that led to the injury, Harrison's right leg seemed to give an odd twist and he crumpled -- Tedy Bruschi came running over and held Harrison's head as he spoke to him.

"I'm going to keep that to myself if you don't mind," Bruschi replied when asked what he said to Harrison. "Rodney is one of my favorite teammates of all time and I just went out there to check on him. What I told him and he told me was something between us."

http://www.projo.com/patriots/conten...13384a168.html