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Old 01-15-2007, 11:37 PM   #211
FallingAlice
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Quote:
Originally posted by Threadkiller on 01-13-2007 at 03:56 PM

So to all you cocky Bolts fans who have been here this week
Threadkiller's advice to you is to walk as you speak
Take the bus downtown to your local branch
Withdraw your life savings then head back to the ranch
Call up your local bookie I'm sure he'll take your action
Put your dough on San D at 6 and a fraction
Then call me up up Monday when you're a broke motherf*cker
I'll send you a loaf of white bread, a jar of Jif and some Smuckers
My single favorite section of all of the poems so far.

Bravo.

But really, this thread is nothing without a desk-pounding bass beat playing underneath. I tried to speak the lines and do a,
"bbrhhphh, buh-buh, tcchhhh..."

Naturally, it was impossible, but it didn't keep me from trying.

This said, BoltsOwnU is one of my favorite trolls of all time -- along with the Burgundy Booger. And I think it's too bad that Bolts won't come back. I don't think he deserves crow. Not only did he speak about himself in the third person (which is always the mark of an outstanding troll of great potential), but he always had style, and a reasonably balanced perspective. Plus, he could lay down a good line. He cleans up good. And, as I recall, he came to the defense of the Planet when some barbarian from Buffalo named... what the f** was his name?....was at the gate.

Maybe if someone would write him an elegy? Or...even better...skip the verse and go with an encomium. I think someone should write him an encomium.

BoltsOwnU is an honorable man.
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Old 01-15-2007, 11:44 PM   #212
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice on 01-15-2007 at 11:37 PM
My single favorite section of all of the poems so far.

Bravo.

But really, this thread is nothing without a desk-pounding bass beat playing underneath. I tried to speak the lines and do a,
"bbrhhphh, buh-buh, tcchhhh..."

Naturally, it was impossible, but it didn't keep me from trying.

This said, BoltsOwnU is one of my favorite trolls of all time -- along with the Burgundy Booger. And I think it's too bad that Bolts won't come back. I don't think he deserves crow. Not only did he speak about himself in the third person (which is always the mark of an outstanding troll of great potential), but he always had style, and a reasonably balanced perspective. Plus, he could lay down a good line. He cleans up good. And, as I recall, he came to the defense of the Planet when some barbarian from Buffalo named... what the f** was his name?....was at the gate.

Maybe if someone would write him an elegy? Or...even better...skip the verse and go with an encomium. I think someone should write him an encomium.

BoltsOwnU is an honorable man.
Agreed. More honorable than Threadkiller who scared off poor little flirty VinceYoungFan when she foolishly jumped into the fray and decided to join the rhyme battle. Alas, she never returned.

Bolts will be back. He's just got this little alcohol poisoning thing to clear up in the aftermath of Sunday night (keep NOT watching Alice) and he'll chow a full plate of crow. I'll be gentle(ish) with him. Encomium it is!
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Old 01-16-2007, 01:04 AM   #213
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Quote:
Originally posted by SteelerFan87 on 01-12-2007 at 09:40 PM
Mmmmmm.... souvlaki....
Okay...

Now that I'm done with a deadline, I've been able to take more time with this thread which, I think, should be placed in the classic threads forum once it dies its natural death.

I have to say... the rap is brilliant, but this moment, especially, makes me weep with laughter.

I think it's because SteelerFan87 has been, up to this point, absent. And he comes, as if on cure, like Homer Simpson...and, of course, what ultimately compels him to post? A line on a spicey Greek lamb/beef.

Naturally, a Pittsburgh fan would be attracted to anything approximating a sausage.

Sorry for the hijack...

You may return to your regular programming...

Please.
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Old 01-16-2007, 09:25 AM   #214
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice on 01-16-2007 at 01:04 AM
Okay...

Now that I'm done with a deadline, I've been able to take more time with this thread which, I think, should be placed in the classic threads forum once it dies its natural death.

Mods...

SHE has spoken... (as UT rolls his eyes at the thought of a smack thread in the classic threads)

Then I'll know where to find it next year when we play the Chargers in the regular season. How exciting!
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Old 01-16-2007, 09:31 AM   #215
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Quote:
Originally posted by Threadkiller on 01-16-2007 at 09:25 AM
Mods...

SHE has spoken... (as UT rolls his eyes at the thought of a smack thread in the classic threads)

Then I'll know where to find it next year when we play the Chargers in the regular season. How exciting!
This thread won't die for quite awhile. It's been going since early last season. There's a rematch coming next season, likely a primetime early season game (perhaps the Thursday nighter at the home of the defending champ? ).

We'll know when the time is right
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Old 01-16-2007, 07:58 PM   #216
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Die? this thread? You must be joking!
Even as the sounds subside of Chargers choking
Sure I predicted we'd carry the day
But I also said I knew it might go either way
That was a game none will soon forget
Many a Charger fan is suffering a brutally lost bet
Man I was glad I got to see it live
Even though I'd rather we'd won by five
TK is right, I had nice consolation
Lots better than some cellmate in Raider Nation
This thread can't die since it merely pauses
My rhymes now abate while I work on contractual clauses
So for now you can look forward to a visit with the Colts
While i await the draft, preseason, and your rematch with my Bolts!
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Old 01-16-2007, 08:00 PM   #217
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A thursday night opener to start the season!!!
Oh to watch that matchup would be might pleasin'
Should I start smacking now or wait until later
Maybe see if Merriman's dance become the mashed pertater
I think that's a game worth watching
My team will be highly motivated to avoid botching
But even if we win you can still boast
The game you just won was the one that matters most.;)
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Old 01-16-2007, 11:05 PM   #218
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice on 01-16-2007 at 01:04 AM
Okay...

Now that I'm done with a deadline, I've been able to take more time with this thread which, I think, should be placed in the classic threads forum once it dies its natural death.

I have to say... the rap is brilliant, but this moment, especially, makes me weep with laughter.

I think it's because SteelerFan87 has been, up to this point, absent. And he comes, as if on cure, like Homer Simpson...and, of course, what ultimately compels him to post? A line on a spicey Greek lamb/beef.

Naturally, a Pittsburgh fan would be attracted to anything approximating a sausage.

Sorry for the hijack...

You may return to your regular programming...

Please.
Well, I'm Greek, so of course I like souvlaki.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annihilus View Post
SF87 is likely the most annoying and obtuse person on the planet.
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Old 01-17-2007, 12:29 AM   #219
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Quote:
Originally posted by BoltsOwnU on 01-16-2007 at 07:58 PM
Die? this thread? You must be joking!
Even as the sounds subside of Chargers choking
Sure I predicted we'd carry the day
But I also said I knew it might go either way
That was a game none will soon forget
Many a Charger fan is suffering a brutally lost bet
Man I was glad I got to see it live
Even though I'd rather we'd won by five
TK is right, I had nice consolation
Lots better than some cellmate in Raider Nation
This thread can't die since it merely pauses
My rhymes now abate while I work on contractual clauses
So for now you can look forward to a visit with the Colts
While i await the draft, preseason, and your rematch with my Bolts!
I hope Threadkiller's post made Bolts think twice
About loading up a bet on emotional advice
The smart gambling money was a new england cover
Or money line to win if you're an adventure lover
I'm glad to hear you were made to feel better
By your girl, she really knows how to fill out a sweater
But now let's be candid BoltsOwnU
Tell the Patriots Planet a thing or two
Were all the claims that Marty Shott would f*ck you true
Or do you spread the blame around for the Powder Blue?
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Old 01-17-2007, 05:13 PM   #220
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Quote:
Originally posted by Threadkiller on 01-16-2007 at 09:29 PM
I hope Threadkiller's post made Bolts think twice
About loading up a bet on emotional advice
The smart gambling money was a new england cover
Or money line to win if you're an adventure lover
I'm glad to hear you were made to feel better
By your girl, she really knows how to fill out a sweater
But now let's be candid BoltsOwnU
Tell the Patriots Planet a thing or two
Were all the claims that Marty Shott would f*ck you true
Or do you spread the blame around for the Powder Blue?
I don't blame Marty I blame the players
They succumbed to the will of so many naysayers
One and done yet again without good reason
just unable as a team to win out the season
I hope our coaching staff remains the same
Firing Marty after 14-2 would be totally lame
Plus I think we needn't start from scratch
After all, the 15-1 Steelers got snuffed like a match
Next season though they came back to win it all
So perhaps in XL double I, Marty by get that championship gameball!
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Old 02-07-2007, 02:08 PM   #221
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Its the offseason and man does it suck
Baseball, Basketball and hockey aint worth f--k
BOU is already jonesing for more of LT
watching him juke and score is cause for glee
Man the offseeason gets longer and longer
Like that guy in Sixteen Candles, Long Duck Donger
Though its the offseason, no yanky your wanky
Just hold out for all the Draft hanky panky
September will get here faster than you think
I just hope Schotty doesn't repeat as a post season fink!
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Old 02-13-2007, 04:14 AM   #222
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Marty is gone but I'm not concerned
Too many coaches gone, bridges burned
With our talented roster though one thing is clear
The privilege of coaching them to many will be dear
I'm pretty sure we'll be able to take our pick
assembling a staff and HC to make our rivals sick
Just one more improvement to the juggernaut out west
Another season for us, to be the NFL's best.
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Old 02-13-2007, 09:06 AM   #223
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The Chargers have talent, that much is true
A young team they have to wear the powder blue.
But what they really need now is discipline
Or they will surely be destroyed from within.
The Chargers imploded and Marty they dumped
Perhaps Pete Carroll will get them Jacked and Pumped.
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Old 02-13-2007, 09:59 AM   #224
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One and done the Charger's run
I thought they declared Maryball done

The staff is gone, they ran out of town
I guess they didn't like LdT acting the clown

If egos were wins, the Chargers would rule
But their constant babble made them the fool

They can't let it go and now all we hear
Is revenge is ours, we'll get you next year

They still haven't learned in their entertainment endever
Hype is to sell product, while rings are forever

Maybe this taste of humble pie that they ate
Will teach them the lessons that will make them something great

But as I read and listen to their fans
I have no doubt that they'll fall on their cans.
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Old 02-20-2007, 03:25 AM   #225
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Have you heard the latest? Have you heard the news?
Yeah I did and it's gonna leave a mark, a wicked bruise
Norv Turner the pineapple head is now our head coach
It's a topic I'm mad about, so its hard to broach
Twice before he failed like a pathetic loser
He destroys teams like a klingon battlecruiser
Marty choked in the playoffs that much is true
But jesus christ, Turdner chokes in the regular season too!
Our players played with heart thanks to Schotty
A change was in order, but Norv couldn't coax a flush from a potty
This is one boltfan who is pissed beyond measure
At least I'm up front about it so from it you can take your pleasure.
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