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Old 06-15-2004, 02:45 PM   #46
Annihilus
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God I hate to agree with dolfan...

but he's got a point.

You could take a large gamble and tell the current girlfriend that you have feelings for her sister, but since you are seeing her that you couldn't see her sister because that would be wrong.

Tell her that you don't feel like you can see either of them in good conscience because of the situation. Tell the sister the same thing.

After some time without seeing either of them (a month? more?), the current g/f may be more prone to letting you see her sister without causing a large fuss. The longer the break without seeing either, the better...

...just throwing sh!t against the wall oed...some of it might stick sooner or later...
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Old 06-15-2004, 02:46 PM   #47
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Just make sure her mom doesn't want you too before you go through all of this.
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Old 06-15-2004, 02:56 PM   #48
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Hey man, I realize that this is of no help to you at all. However, I just have to add my 2 cents. It's always been a dream of mine to have a 2 on 1 with a pair of sisters. I've never had the opportunity myself, but it sounds like the remote possibility is there for you. I guess what I'm trying to do is live vicarously through you, hoping that if you do engage in a 2 on 1, you'd tell me all about it.

On a serious note, you're definately in a tough spot. I noticed that you did say that the current g/f is attractive, but her sister is smokin hot. Is that a significant part of your attraction towards the sister? If so then just let it go. I try to live by a motto that all men should live by: "No matter how hot she is, somebody.....somewhere......is sick of her sh*t."

There, try that.
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Old 06-15-2004, 03:45 PM   #49
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therapists suck, eh?

and therapists who are BILLS fans are unthinkable!

Hawg,

You make me laugh and want to have a beer with you sometime.


OK, lmao at DolPHannY and the rest of you yahoos trying to minimiZe this situation with comedy. It is funny, but dangerous.

I think it was dchester (too laZy to look) who threw in a little "sibling rivalry" as a possible motive for SexySister's interest in you? Tex, you better take a good look at SisterSexy and what she is up to here.

Any sister that would do that to her sister's fiance has SERIOUS issues. Good grief, not to be offensive in any way but this is NOT the first time this situation has ever happened before. SisterSexy is psycho.

Unless your girlfriend is in on this (and it doesn't sound like she is), her sister is crossing an inappropriate boundary that she will continue to cross until someone NAILS her lying, cheating ass to the wall (verbally). Um, really I don't want to be disrespectful here..... but I smell something really rotten in this family dynamic. Let's just say that your g/f sister's behavior raises a LOT of red flags for me as a therapist.

Also, your sexual attraction to her is interfering with your ability to see that she has SERIOUS issues. You are NOT being objective about her behavior. Understandable, get your 'head' out of her pants long enough to see what this woman is doing.

Would you REALLY want to spend your life with someone who would do THAT to her own sister? I mean good grief, emotionally HEALTHY people show self restraint in those types of situations. YOU showed restraint in your response. SHE did not. YOU showed an emotionally appropriate and healthy response. SHE did NOT.

This has the potential to turn into a psychodrama of major proportion, all by her design. If you are serious about wanting to resolve this, I would sit BOTH sisters down, tell your GIRLFRIEND what happened with SEXYdramaQueen, RN right there to answer for her behavior. You risk losing NOTHING by blowing the whistle on SEXYdramaQueen, RN and you get this all out in the open.

The truth shall set you free one way or the other. No matter WHAT happens, you owe it to your girlfriend to blow the whistle on her sister's behavior. There is some REASON why this sister would behave that way and you are a victim of a bigger problem.

Good luck.

Last edited by WY-Oregasm; 06-15-2004 at 03:54 PM..
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Old 06-15-2004, 03:49 PM   #50
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wyobilzfan, are you gay?

Dude, bang the sister. What could it hurt. You aint gonna marry either of them. Get it while you can. If you tell her that her sister has been coming on to you, it's gonna turn out to be your fault. You're in a corner man, bang your way out.
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Old 06-15-2004, 03:53 PM   #51
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wyo...I think you missed the point where oed said he wants the sister...he's thinks he's in love with her and wants to make the switch .
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Old 06-15-2004, 03:59 PM   #52
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I didn't miss what Tex said. If he's IN LOVE with the SisterHotPants, then he is in serious trouble. She has serious emotional problems if she is behaving that way toward her sister's boyfriend.

He's NOT in love with her, he's in love with his IMAGE of her. One that is NOT based in reality from what I'm reading.

As previously mentioned, do NOT misinterpret the difference between love and lust. This sister has psychoqueen written all over her. Been there, done that, worked with hundreds of them.
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Old 06-15-2004, 04:07 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally posted by wyobilzfan
I didn't miss what Tex said. If he's IN LOVE with the SisterHotPants, then he is in serious trouble. She has serious emotional problems if she is behaving that way toward her sister's boyfriend.

He's NOT in love with her, he's in love with his IMAGE of her. One that is NOT based in reality from what I'm reading.

As previously mentioned, do NOT misinterpret the difference between love and lust. This sister has psychoqueen written all over her. Been there, done that, worked with hundreds of them.
Oh I agree, I was only making the point because he expressed a serious affection for the girl and made the point that he does not want to work it out with his girlfriend.

Which is why I say, break up with the girlfriend that you obviously aren't in love with, and give the sister what she wants.

You don't want to marry your girlfriend and you don't want to marry the type of girl who would sleep with her sisters boyfriend behind her back no matter how she felt about him.
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Old 06-15-2004, 04:17 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally posted by DolFan
wyobilzfan, are you gay?

Dude, bang the sister. What could it hurt. You aint gonna marry either of them. Get it while you can. If you tell her that her sister has been coming on to you, it's gonna turn out to be your fault. You're in a corner man, bang your way out.
While I like the last one-liner, DF - you should realize that Wyo is a woman.

Note that she is also a therapist, so unless you want her analyzing why you cry at Flipper reruns, then you best lighten up on the gay stuff.
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Old 06-15-2004, 07:15 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
slowly reintroduce yourself into her sister's life. Get to know her. Hell, sleep with her if you like,
that's what ive been sayin.

you arent gonna marry your g/f because you love her sister. You arent gonna marry the sister because you love the g/f. You have to do the manly thing and sleep with her sister until you get caught. Problem solved. If there is ANY possible way to get them both at the same time, don't let that slip by. You may only get the chance once and you have to pounce on it. See if you can get her sister to walk in on you. That's a great ice breaker. Then just invite her on in. You have to take complete advantage of thsi situation. What one sees as a problem, I see as a very rare opportunity that could only be eclipsed if they were twins. For all mankind, I implore you, DON'T SCREW THIS UP
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Old 06-15-2004, 07:17 PM   #56
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My apologies for the gay thing. Won't happen again.
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Old 06-15-2004, 08:37 PM   #57
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I hate to say it, but....DolFan is starting to make sense to me too.

That must be some kind of warning sign. Just kidding, DF, you're all right with me.

All I know for sure is - it sucks to be Oed and you woudn't catch me dead telling him to dump the g/f at this point.

Much as the "appreciates a good car wreck" side of me wonders what would happen.

As I stated earlier, I think Lil' Sis will turn on you like Tiger Woods hacking a ball out of the deep rough once you say the magic words.

She might very well be engaging in the most dangerous game - that of the siren whose calling is to lure unsuspecting sailors to their doom.

Remember the Seinfeld episode where his date was beautiful/ugly/beautiful/ugly? It happens.

And there's nothing like a little Stevie Ray Vaughan at a time like this:

What about the neighbors?
What they gonna say?
Stop little sister - gettin' carried away
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
look at little sister
I said hey, hey, hey, hey
look at little sister

Shakin' like a tree
Rollin' like a log
Shakin' and a rollin' now
and that ain't all
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Old 06-15-2004, 08:57 PM   #58
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dchester should plot to take over the world, they're that gooddchester should plot to take over the world, they're that gooddchester should plot to take over the world, they're that gooddchester should plot to take over the world, they're that gooddchester should plot to take over the world, they're that good
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OT,

I have a few thoughts. How accurate they are, who knows?

First, I want to commend you on your discipline with the sister. I don't know if I would have been able to have the same control. As Chris Rock once said, men can be taught to stop chasing after women (after much behavior modification), but when a women is chasing after you, it's a race a guy will lose every time (i.e guys are pretty easy).

My suspicion is that your feelings for the sister, is more lust than love. I do believe that you still love your girlfriend, it's just that you have stopped feeling lust for her. In my opinion, when a guy is "In Love" with a girl, it's actually the combination of those two feelings (Love and Lust). This is why I believe that you say you love your girlfriend like a sister in law. You do love her. The real question is, will you ever feel lust for her again? My guess is that you can, although it would be easier if you get away from the sister. All of this stuff I just said is nice, but what you really want to know is, what to do next.

At this point, I think you should tell the girlfriend what the sister did, regardless of what your decision is on who you want to be with. She deserves to know about her sister, and her reaction may give you some hints about your relationship with her.

If you decide to go for the sister, you can simply tell the sister that you do have feelings for her, but you didn?t act on them because it wasn?t the right thing to do. Actually, I think that?s what you should have told her when she came on to you.

I still have some skepticism about the sister?s motives. I also don?t have a good feel yet about your compatibility with the sister. And as I said before, I?m not at all convinced that you really love the sister, as I suspect it is mostly lust (with maybe a little love). But since it is your opinions that are paramount, and not mine, I will offer some thoughts on what I would want to know, in order to decide if it is worth going after the sister.

Are you confident, that both you and the sister can deal with the likelihood, of it producing hatred from your girlfriend (towards you and her sister) if you leave your girlfriend and start dating he sister? Are you sure that you will never again have feelings of lust for your current girlfriend? How well do your long term goals fit in, with the long term goals of the sister?

In all seriousness, lust when acted upon, is overpowering, consuming, and persuasive (i.e. pretty damn good). It?s just that it rarely lasts for the long term (love does that). Also, most guys can and do feel lust for many different women. Remember, us guys don?t think clearly when under the influence of lust.

My current opinion is that your relationship with your girlfriend is still worth making a go of it. You?ve been honorable with her so far, so I disagree that you are ?fuct?. In fact, because you?ve played it so well thus far, all options are still available to you.

Also, I have a question for you. A while back, you said that you've already had the "feelings for someone else" conversation with your g/f, on both sides. What did she say, and also what did you mean by "on both sides"?

Take care, and keep us posted.

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Old 06-15-2004, 09:38 PM   #59
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good stuff here, Tex....

There's a lot of wisdom being shared in these posts.


Hawg, I love that song.


BTW, I also see great value in the "bang 'em both, then hit the bricks scenerio". It just doesn't seem like Tex is the male HOAR type

Any guy who went through what Tex just did and maintained control is to be commended for his self-restraint.

It still could turn out that both sisters are looking for a threesome and checking him out.

BTW, whoever it was earlier in this thread that wanted details if there was a threesome cracked me up.
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Old 06-15-2004, 09:58 PM   #60
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Okay, I'm gonna just answer the last post, because I think it will reply to most of the questions/comments:
Quote:
Originally posted by dchester
[B]OT,

I have a few thoughts. How accurate they are, who knows?

First, I want to commend you on your discipline with the sister. I don't know if I would have been able to have the same control. As Chris Rock once said, men can be taught to stop chasing after women (after much behavior modification), but when a women is chasing after you, it's a race a guy will lose every time (i.e guys are pretty easy).

My suspicion is that your feelings for the sister, is more lust than love. I do believe that you still love your girlfriend, it's just that you have stopped feeling lust for her. In my opinion, when a guy is "In Love" with a girl, it's actually the combination of those two feelings (Love and Lust). This is why I believe that you say you love your girlfriend like a sister in law. You do love her. The real question is, will you ever feel lust for her again? My guess is that you can, although it would be easier if you get away from the sister. All of this stuff I just said is nice, but what you really want to know is, what to do next.
I'll break in here. I mentioned WAAY back in my original post, that Sister would be a candidate for the girly pic thread if she dressed like that. She doesn't. She doesn't act like that, either. My original (new) post wasn't real clear on what happened the other night. She didn't start rubbing her breasts up and down me or anything, just started talking in terms of why G/F and not Sister? Joking at first, and getting more and more serious as she went along.

In contrast to what WYO said, she's anything but a drama queen. She hangs around with us a lot, because the three of us are all great friends together. She's not coming on like a succubus, she's coming on like a confused young woman who is terrified of missing out on "the one." I think she's sincere.

I am *absolutely* in lust with sister. I'm also very much in love with her. I love my girlfriend, but its as if the three of us, together, are taking the wrong roles.

Someone mentioned that G/F knows that I have the hots for her sister. I think a betrayal on that level is utterly beyond her comprehension, frankly. I don't think she has clue.[/QUOTE]

Quote:
At this point, I think you should tell the girlfriend what the sister did, regardless of what your decision is on who you want to be with. She deserves to know about her sister, and her reaction may give you some hints about your relationship with her.
Well, I'm certainly not going to throw Sister under the bus like that. If and when I do go to my g/f, it will be in terms of explaning the situation as a whole, not "lookit what yer sister did!" I'm not out to save my ass, here, I'm trying to save several very important relationships.

Quote:
If you decide to go for the sister, you can simply tell the sister that you do have feelings for her, but you didnít act on them because it wasnít the right thing to do. Actually, I think thatís what you should have told her when she came on to you.
I have a natural ability to avoid burning bridges whenever possible. My reaction avoided dictating my future conduct and limiting my choices. Perhaps you're right, but: a) I was very confused, and didn't have a ton of time to consider the perfect response; and b) that's something I can't take back once it's said. That would always be out there. I still have the ability to put it out there if I choose to do so after some consideration.

Quote:
I still have some skepticism about the sisterís motives. I also donít have a good feel yet about your compatibility with the sister. And as I said before, Iím not at all convinced that you really love the sister, as I suspect it is mostly lust (with maybe a little love). But since it is your opinions that are paramount, and not mine, I will offer some thoughts on what I would want to know, in order to decide if it is worth going after the sister.
Totally aside from being smoking hot (think along the lines of Eliza Dushku, except with bright blue/grean eyes and an air of innocence rather than just smoldering, except a little bit shorter with slightly larger [at least proportionatly] breasts) we are very compatable.

She, like me, is interested in learning, finding quality charities, raising a large family, high-end fantasy novels, philosophy and comparative theology, and has similar taste in music and movies. Hell, she even likes football, to the point where she started looking at some of my football strategy books, saying things like: "This is like chess with people!" If it weren't for the slobbiness thing, she'd almost literally have been custom made for me, like I ordered her out of a magazine.

Quote:
Are you confident, that both you and the sister can deal with the likelihood, of it producing hatred from your girlfriend (towards you and her sister) if you leave your girlfriend and start dating he sister?
No. And really, that's it in a nutshell. G/F's reaction could be anything from acceptance and support to going absolutely nuclear and terminating contact with either of us...or both. And, as I stated before, even if we clear that hurdle, what of the rest of the family, whom I've grown very close to?

Quote:
Are you sure that you will never again have feelings of lust for your current girlfriend?
Never say never, but I really don't think this is a "grass is greener" issue.
Quote:
How well do your long term goals fit in, with the long term goals of the sister?
I addressed this above, I think. Very well.

Quote:
In all seriousness, lust when acted upon, is overpowering, consuming, and persuasive (i.e. pretty damn good). Itís just that it rarely lasts for the long term (love does that). Also, most guys can and do feel lust for many different women. Remember, us guys donít think clearly when under the influence of lust.
Very true. But remember that this isn't a day, or a week, or even a month...we're pushing a year now. I can't maintain a yearlong erection, can you?

Quote:
My current opinion is that your relationship with your girlfriend is still worth making a go of it.
That's the pisser of all of this, really. It absolutly is, taken on its own merits. I'm quite certain I'd be very happy with her, if I'd never met her sister.

Quote:
Youíve been honorable with her so far, so I disagree that you are ďfuctĒ. In fact, because youíve played it so well thus far, all options are still available to you.
Does that include the polygamous marriage and cult-forming? I'm still strongly leaning in that direction.

Quote:
Also, I have a question for you. A while back, you said that you've already had the "feelings for someone else" conversation with your g/f, on both sides. What did she say, and also what did you mean by "on both sides"?
Well, this isn't a new relationship, man. We've discussed what we've done when feelings arose for someone else. We agreed that it is pretty natural, and that fidelity takes discipline and commitment. You have to *want* to be faithful more than you want to check out that excellent looking grass in the other pasture.

When I say "on both sides" I mean that we've talked about it in terms of both me having feelings for another girl, or her having feelings for another guy.

We have a system, and have turned the whole "feelings for someone else" thing into a kind of game, I guess. We introduce them. It's happened twice so far, once on each side. You know my caustic sense of humor, right? She has one, too (they both do, actually, and its funnier from them because they are so sweet that it is a shocker coming out of their mouths).

So, of course what happens is that once "the other" leaves, G/F (for my crush) or me (for her crush) proceeds to tear "the other" person to shreds with petty little things. We've talked about this, and we know that if the shredding pisses us off, that's officially a Bad Sign, as Christopher Robin might say. But in both cases, we've just ended up laughing at the other person's flaws, and pointing out how crazy that would drive whichever one of us is on the spot.
I just re-read that and realized how bad it sounds. Don't think we're evil or anything...one of them (my crush) actually ended up as a friend of both of ours over time. It's just our method of knowing one another and checking our stupid ideas at the door.

Which leads me to this: I know that G/F adores and respects her kid sister. She wouldn't have much to latch onto. I also think she'd actually be really jealous, and I'd be pissed at any shredding she managed to do (apart from the slob stuff). It would be a Bad Sign.

This whole thing is a Bad Sign.

Quote:
Take care, and keep us posted.
Will do.

One other thing I wanted to address: someone (WYO?) used the phrase "unless your girlfriend is in on it." What did you mean? A setup? A test? A really, really horribly cruel practical joke?

I have a really difficult time believing that.

Sh!t, I'm not sure I CAN believe that. It's like believing in the Matrix, in terms of how it would turn my world upside down. It would mean that: a) Sis doesn't really love me like that; and b) both of them are seriously cruel people
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I'm Oedipus Tex, that's what I said.
But my frieeends just call me Oed.
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