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Old 11-08-2004, 12:34 PM   #31
Ballbustah
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I really like this post....


Quote:
Originally posted by wyobilzfan
She screams, you MOORMAN... don't you even KNOW the correct NUMBER for the future FROTTEURIST of the BILLS franchise is #7, not 17???

Not unlike a former petite QB for the BILLS and legendary NE Frootie Man.....


Now she realiZes the opponent's level of ignorance. Her passion ignites an explosion of adrenaline within her as she summons all of her strength to come up out of the goo.

She lurches forward to grab his manhood when she's blinded by......














to be continued.....
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Old 11-08-2004, 12:54 PM   #32
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Suddenly and inexplicably, in the middle of this amazing match set in the Razor, a Yankees Suck chant erupts.

For a brief moment the Mighty Wyo is distracted as she swears she sees Derek Jeter joining in the chanting.
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Old 11-08-2004, 01:31 PM   #33
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Hawg is frightened and confused by this sudden turn of events.

Somehow the slippery hellcat had escaped the certain doom of the Hawghammer and all because he didn't know the proper number of a guy that has never seen the field.

In a flash, he realizes that this mistake might end up to his benefit as the queen of the trollies latches onto his turgid manhood so hard that his Tom Brady tattoo actually squinted.

Hawg steeled himself for the sure pleasure bound to follow, but to his shock and amazement, the mud-slathered, writhing hash-mark harpie had snuck out her patented "inverted heat-seeking missle manuever" and soon a giant sucking sound was heard throughout Gillette Stadium as she lifted his entire body out of the scented muck by his now throbbing (literally) codpiece with a loud "SCHLUURRRRRRPPPP".

Soon, she had her former cyberspace buddie whirling like a lasso over her head as the vortex created by his spinning body started drawing up chunks of mud in a dark brown version of a waterspout which spiraled above his spinning body as he orbited the squared circle.

From Hawg's perspective, he could see the pops of flashbulbs dance like fireflies in his field of vision as with each rotation he could feel the respect of the Planet membership growing fainter and fainter.

His mind flashed back to a hot summer day at Paragon Park, where his stomach had rebelled at a similar treatment on the Tilt-a-Whirl after eating a nasty candy apple and he feared that he might not survive another dozen seconds of this fiendish centrifuge.

Fortunately, just before his dizziness turned into technicolor, the now-whooping wonder-woman released her firm grasp and she sent him spinning through space and headed in the general direction of the 10th row.

Before Hawg could make his crash-landing in the top dollar seats, however, his momentum was stopped hard by an unexpected force.

His frisbee-like revolutions had been intercepted by a mysterious 3rd person who had jumped to the ring apron at the last second.

Hawg's wildly reeling brain spun like a top, but as it began to slow his field of vision cleared just long to make out the facial features of his interceptor.

That person was none other than.........


DCHESTER!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-08-2004, 02:35 PM   #34
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And NOTHING pleases the wyo more than a THREESOME, as she hurls the Hawgman around with glee...

Dchester................ the next victim. But wait. She's not anywhere CLOSE to being done with Hawgie just yet. She tosses some mud in dchester's eyes long enough to let her finish the task at hand.


She hangs onto Hawg's manhood until that squint in Brady's orbs suddenly turn into a eyeball popping, bloodshot look of horror..... a boatload of Viagra won't sustain the grip she has on his vital organs, and she continues to manuever around the rest of her body as he lowers himself into the muddy abyss.....






to be continued..........
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Old 11-08-2004, 02:51 PM   #35
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Old 11-08-2004, 02:52 PM   #36
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Ding....Ding....

And hawg as they say is saved by the bell as 4 pats cheer leaders cum running into the mud pit to drag a worn and tired hawg back to his corner for a quick sponge bath. So there sitting in a hot tub built for 12 is 20 of the Pats beauties working furiously to get most of the mud removed from Hawg's exhausted body. Wyo must have had laywer milloy tamper with the controls on the tub when he was out with the broken arm, because the hot tub jets start going berserk. The first one to go blasts the stringy top right off the bustiest cheerleader. In a panic they all start screaming bloody murder clawing and fighting to get out of the therapeutic bath. Of course no one bothers to help hawg who is still trying to get the mud out of his eyes. Just as the last one escapes every jet explodes, launching hawg, face first, right back into the mud pit he had just been saved from.

Meanwhile back on Wyo's side of the ring she is feeling pretty good about herself as she is getting her own rub down treatment from the entire Bills O-line. Hopefully she doesn't get too relaxed....

Ding...Ding....

let round 2 begin
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Old 11-08-2004, 02:58 PM   #37
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Ding, ding is right sport fans!!!

Stay tuned as Hawgie and wyoSlut lather it up again tomorrow. Right now after my cool down, it's time to get some work done.


Stay tuned as the beleaguered yet determined BILLS fan enjoys the fruits of her labor again tomorrow!


TOMORROW HAWGIE'S GOIN' DOWN!!!!!


And....

















he's going to LIKE it!!!!
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Old 11-08-2004, 03:21 PM   #38
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I like this thread.....
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Old 11-08-2004, 05:43 PM   #39
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Old 11-09-2004, 09:57 AM   #40
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Well rested, properly lubed, and eager with anticipation for her last chance at the man of her dreams..... the wyoSlut sits in her corner with her legs spread and her eyes bearing down on her target; that infamous tattoo of Tom Brady.

She brought out all the heavy artillery for this showdown of the ages... and with a sense of glee punctuates the testicles of the voodoo doll containing one pubic hair of BELLyBOY's (confiscated from the housekeeper at his favorite sex club)....

NOTHING will stop her from putting out her BEST effort for the sake of her team, and the lust in her heart for that east coast stud with the misplaced pigkskin passion disorder.


Nevermind his ignorance of good football taste, she wants to have her way with him, and nothing short of complete submission will due. The crowd is on the edge of their seats, the men with one hand on their beer and other.......

The cheerleaders are dripping with sweat and envy. Each is imagining that she is the alphawyowoman in the ring with that burning hunk of Cambridge love. They know their place and defer to the wolverine-like aura of the woman who gets to TAKE HIM DOWN TO HIS KNEES.

The clock ticks. The bell rings. The vixenslut comes out on all fours and circles the object of her lust. He locks eyes with her as she purrs with anticipation.

Suddenly she leaps and........
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Old 11-09-2004, 10:11 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by wyobilzfan
Each is imagining that she is the alphawyowoman in the ring with that burning hunk of Cambridge love.

And that my friends is yet another reason that he's known as the Fonz. Plus he can fix almost any box with a mere pound of his fist.

Jukeboxes, too.

I seriously didn't know that he had a burning hunk of Cambridge love, though. Or is it just him as a whole that is a burning hunk.....

Oy.
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Old 11-09-2004, 10:14 AM   #42
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Are you guys naked in the ring?

I hope so....
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Old 11-09-2004, 10:51 AM   #43
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Hawg's last stand.

He was bone-weary and battered, but felt revived by his stint in the hot tub with the Patriots cheerleaders, and he knew the time was ripe to make his last stand.

He leapt over the top rope with a catlike grace and landed with a SPLAT! in the steaming dark pit. The stadium lights cast a hot glare down encompassing the ring and 68,000 pairs of eyes watched as he slogged his way through the muck straight towards the vicious valkyrie who waited for his assault with a weird gleam in her eyes.

There comes a time in every life where you feel like quitting, where it all gets too much and you just want to lay down and accept your fate as a form of death, but as Hawg glanced around at the people sitting in the front row, he knew that he could not, WOULD NOT let them down.

There was Undertaker59 with a worried look on his face, ever the worrier.

And over there Pookie with a can of Bud Light in his hand, and there Annihilus and Dropkick, Bideau, Spinal, IGIG, Oedipus, Thomas144, MgoBlue, Ballbustah, Bionic....even Stephen Neal showed up....they were all there and they were all goddamned if they were going to watch him get his ass kicked by a psycho hosebeast Bills troll. It was ON.

Hawg looked down at the diminutive demon and was shocked by her appearance. Her Bills jersey had been shredded by the fierce battle and exposed her lithe, mud-speckled body, there were barely threads of it left.

Her hair was so mud caked that her hair clumped together and resembled gooey snakes. Her eyes were glowing like lanterns in the windows to Hell. The Medusa of the mountains, her sinews a glistening dark brown-- steeled herself for the finish, one way or the other

She looked at Hawg and spoke first: "Who the hell are you"?

Hawg's response with a decided Arnold accent was: "WHO da HELL are YOU???"

At that, Wyo uncoiled herself and sprang from the mire, clawing the air and squalling like a cougar. Hawg juked right and then did a spin move to his left and Wyo splatted down hard-- face first.

He leapt for her, but she rolled away just in time and she was on his back almost before he landed. This chick was FAST. She reached down and grabbed his hair, but the slick mud caused her to lose her grip and lurch backwards as Hawg bucked her off his back and like lightning was on his feet again ready to grapple.

They both stood with their chests heaving ragged breaths which condensed into steam and blended together as they eyed each other warily.

Despite the filth that clung to her face and body and despite the wild gleam in her eyes, Hawg had to admit she was an attractive woman. Beautiful, in fact. Hell, she was HOT and only the pronounced ache in his muscles, and especially his schwanstucker--reminded him that she was utterly lethal.

He noticed Wyo's expression starting to soften and then she spoke: "I can see you've had enough...why don't we just end this and go somewhere more.... private? I have something special for you...a surprise." and then she smiled luridly.

Hawg could scarcely imagine a LESS private setting, but something about that smile was drawing him in. He was a sailor and she was a siren calling him to the rocks, but he no longer cared about the fate of his ship, he needed her. She COMPLETED him.

He found himself moving towards her but not for a bodyslam, but for the lust of her steaming hot, mud-encrusted body.

"What do I have to do for my surprise?" Hawg croaked, no longer in control of his words.

"Simple. Just lay back and let me pin you and I'm all yours."

Hawg considered this and found himself nodding....agreeing....and then something happened. From deep inside a tiny recess of his lust-swollen brain a thought sprang up unbidden. It grew from a spark into a raging neon bonfire. He read it's two-word message and knew that he could not. Not like this.

The message read simply: "THE PLANET" and he knew at once that he would need his own concession before agreeing.

"That is possible" he said "but, there is something I need from you first".

She smiled coyly and asked "and that is?"

and then the thunderbolt from the blue.

"You need to change sides. I just can't with a Bills troll. It wouldn't be right. Cast aside your trollish ways forever and come over to the dark side and we can be together."

The look on her crusted face was one of pure astonishment and then it began to change and mutate as thoughts of her own swirled and roiled just beneath it's surface. She looked at one moment enraptured and the next-- confused. Wet tears began to fill her eyes as she struggled beneath the spotlights glare before Hawg, the fans, the eyes of the entire Planet.

A silence vast and deep hung in the air as she stood there, her life as a Bills fans hanging precariously in the balance and then she spoke, her voice heavy with sadness.

"I have thought about it. Over and over. A part of me wants to worse than anything, but.....I can't do that. You can't ask me to do that.....I can't come over to the Patriots side--to your side. It has to be Bills or nothing...."

Hawg then tersely replied: "Then it is NOTHING".

Tears began washing down her cheeks leaving glistening streaks of tanned skin between the caked mud as the crowd sat in stunned silence. Her eyes pleaded with him, but the die had been cast.

He nodded and then continued "You might not thank me today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon-- and for the rest of your life." and with that he turned and began slowly sloshing through the muck towards the ropes, but before reaching them he turned and said:

"Remember, kid-- we'll always have Foxboro."

The last sight he had of her was her slumping down in the mud-- hard, as she buried her face in her hands and began to weep for a decision that she could not help herself from reaching. It was what it was.

Hawg was tired. As tired as he had ever been, but as he scanned the faces of the Planet members near the ropes, he remembered why he was here and he vaulted the ropes onto the apron and looked at them all. He had made a sacrifice, but after all, it was for the good of the Planet and that was good enough.

Just then a familiar face leapt up to join him on the ring apron. Their eyes met and they both knew that it wasn't over.

With that Hawg reached his weary right arm over his head and made the tag.

There was still a little matter that had to be settled.

It was still........ON!
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Old 11-09-2004, 12:55 PM   #44
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wyo bows to the gods of Patriot fortune, but looks forward to NEXT TIME...

No doubt it was STILL on. The CLASH OF THE AFC BEAST must continue. It WILL continue. The place was empty. The planeteers hoisted Hawgusus upon their shoulders and carried their hero to the parking lot of the RaZor and deposited him on his throne.

There the festivities began for what would be the sacrifice made by her Buffalo Bills on that fateful Sunday. Meanwhile back at the pit she sat naked in the mud. Silently she cried in the darkness that now shrouded her soul. She was alone with nothing around her but the cold painful realiZation of what it means to be a BILLS fan.

Yet she also knew that she had been bitten by that viper of lust; that no matter what the outcome of Sunday Night's impending debacle would be, that she was hooked. Nothing but a return to glory for her shredded team would satisfy her.

She gained strength from knowing that just as the sun rises in the east, so shall the HawgMan rise from the mud pit to cast his seeds of lust upon her once again. It is the nature of the universe that this must be satisfied. TWICE a year, just like the changing of the clocks.

Slowly she stood up and wiped the large chunks of mud from her body, longing for the day when her team would once again rise from the herbal mud and represent her with the brute force befitting of her loyal passion. It wasn't to be THIS year. Not with the limp leaded one leading her band of boys.


She walked to the door and looked back upon the empty palace. Though the game was really yet to be played, she was satisified because she knew that this was just Round One.


Another time, another day.
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Old 11-09-2004, 01:08 PM   #45
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hmmmm....

That SUCKED! where is the god damn alternate ending option?
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