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Old 05-23-2005, 11:30 AM   #1
Phokus
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So who's going to mike martz's football camp for coaches?

I hear he's going to teach coaches how to abandon the running game and how to mismanage the clock :p

http://www.stlouisrams.com/clinic/
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:12 PM   #2
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Re: So who's going to mike martz's football camp for coaches?

Quote:
Originally posted by Phokus
I hear he's going to teach coaches how to abandon the running game and how to mismanage the clock :p

http://www.stlouisrams.com/clinic/
Well to be perfectly honest I believe Martz should be teaching/coaching high school. It's probably the highest level where he could thrive. :p
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:19 PM   #3
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Re: Re: So who's going to mike martz's football camp for coaches?

Quote:
Originally posted by PA_PATS_FAN54
Well to be perfectly honest I believe Martz should be teaching/coaching high school. It's probably the highest level where he could thrive. :p
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:20 PM   #4
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I'm not sure if Martz is quite as dumb as some people say.

Belichick is very generous in his praise of the man and he has presided over some of the best offenses in league history.

Sure the genius label was overcooked, and he is a pretty unlikeable personality, but we aren't talking about about Gregg Williams or Lou Holtz here.
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:24 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawg73
I'm not sure if Martz is quite as dumb as some people say.

Belichick is very generous in his praise of the man and he has presided over some of the best offenses in league history.

Sure the genius label was overcooked, and he is a pretty unlikeable personality, but we aren't talking about about Gregg Williams or Lou Holtz here.
Hawg, you are being too nice. Mad Martz is a goober....
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:27 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawg73
I'm not sure if Martz is quite as dumb as some people say.

Belichick is very generous in his praise of the man and he has presided over some of the best offenses in league history.

Sure the genius label was overcooked, and he is a pretty unlikeable personality, but we aren't talking about about Gregg Williams or Lou Holtz here.
He was smart enough to land a HC gig in the NFL.... I don't like the guy so I choose to see him in a lesser light.

Now stop ruining my ignorance with intelligent comments!




;)
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by PA_PATS_FAN54
He was smart enough to land a HC gig in the NFL.... I don't like the guy so I choose to see him in a lesser light.

Now stop ruining my ignorance with intelligent comments!




;)
Don't get me wrong. I love to see the guy lose for some reason. Possibly, because he seems so arrogant, but.....

It just seems like piling on. He can coach circles around some of the guys in the NFL and as exhibits A & B I'll give you Norv Turner and Mike Tice.
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:48 PM   #8
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I hear the Jests are looking into sending Herm Edwards to the Clock Management Seminar.
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:49 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawg73
Don't get me wrong. I love to see the guy lose for some reason. Possibly, because he seems so arrogant, but.....

It just seems like piling on. He can coach circles around some of the guys in the NFL and as exhibits A & B I'll give you Norv Turner and Mike Tice.
Mike Tice, oh boy. He just does not sound too intelligent, got hit too many times upside the head when he was a tight end. He sounds like Raymond's brother on "Everybody Loves Raymond".
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:50 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Benign Despot
I hear the Jests are looking into sending Herm Edwards to the Clock Management Seminar.
I thought Herm had his own coach for this?
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Old 05-23-2005, 12:59 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by KenJr30
Mike Tice, oh boy. He just does not sound too intelligent, got hit too many times upside the head when he was a tight end. He sounds like Raymond's brother on "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Don't get me started on "Robert" Tice-- what sealed the deal for me is hearing the live radio interview he did with Moss after Moss had a mental meltdown that could have cost his team a game.

Moss started to apologize but ended up getting pompous as usual. All Tice could do is kiss his ass and call him his "dawg".

Somehow I have a hard time picturing Bill doing that.
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:12 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawg73
Don't get me started on "Robert" Tice-- what sealed the deal for me is hearing the live radio interview he did with Moss after Moss had a mental meltdown that could have cost his team a game.

Moss started to apologize but ended up getting pompous as usual. All Tice could do is kiss his ass and call him his "dawg".

Somehow I have a hard time picturing Bill doing that.
Listening to that interview was like watching a slow-motion trainwreck. Annihilus still remembers exactly where he was and what he was doing when that piece of work aired live (kind of like most people remember what they were doing when Kennedy was shot).

Count your lucky stars you don't have to listen to 'The Wit and Wisdom of Mike Tice: Daily Soundbites' all season long whenever you turn on the TV or Radio.

Annihilus affectionately refers to MT as 'The Big Dumb Coach with the Magic Pencil' with good reason.

If any of you missed the interview, it's good for a chuckle and can be found in this thread..
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:41 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hawg73
Don't get me wrong. I love to see the guy lose for some reason. Possibly, because he seems so arrogant, but.....

It just seems like piling on. He can coach circles around some of the guys in the NFL and as exhibits A & B I'll give you Norv Turner and Mike Tice.
I know it's irrational of me to say he should go back to High School but I can't help myself this guy exudes arrogance.

Your right .... hell I hate him more because he is not the worst coach in the league.

Easy guy to hate
and I for one will continue to "pile on" when it comes to Martz. ;)
Also it's becoming increasingly difficult to type with only 3 players left in my poker tourney.
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:48 AM   #14
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Kellen Winslow is available!

So is Freddie Mitchell! Hey, maybe Freddie can teach Martz something about offensive football ...
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Old 05-24-2005, 10:43 AM   #15
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For those that may have missed it last year, an article that appeared in thebrushback. com:

Sub-saharan Desert Nomads Pause to Criticize Mike Martz' play calling

TAOUDENNI, MALI--In a further sign of the eroding public opinion of the Rams head coach, a group of desert nomads took time out of their trek across the Sahara to openly question Mike Martz’s play calling. The incident demonstrates the planet’s widespread displeasure with the coach’s performance and proves that common sense knows no boundaries.

The nomads, traveling through Mali on their way to the salt mines of Taoudenni, were accompanied by Liz Goodwin, a British journalist working for the BBC. Goodwin was assigned to tag along with the group, known as Tuaregs, to observe their day-to-day lives and learn about their customs, beliefs, and social mores.

“The Tuaregs are a fascinating people,” said Goodwin during an interview on her satellite phone. “Their lives are so difficult and tedious, yet they are warm, gentle, and charitable. They are also cut off from the civilized world, or so I thought. Turns out they somehow found out about the Rams-Panthers game.”

The Tuaregs lead a bleak and desolate existence, combing the pitiless desert landscape and mining for salt to be sold in Northern African cities like Algeria and Niger. They travel in caravans, sometimes going for days without seeing a tree, bush, or a blade of grass.

On Tuesday, while the tribe stopped for a brief rest, Goodwin conducted one of her daily question and answer sessions with Mbaya Al-Youbba, the lone English speaking member of the tribe. After briefly describing his childhood in the desert, Al-Youbba veered off and began talking about Mike Martz.

“He was telling me about his difficult childhood,” said Goodwin. “He was talking about his father, and how he got lost in the desert and was never found. Then, out of the blue, he starts talking about the Rams, and how insane Mike Martz was to let the clock run out when he still had plenty of time to run a couple plays. Of course I’d heard about Martz’s crazy moves, but I had no idea these nomads did. Guess word travels pretty fast.”

Indeed, the firestorm of ridicule and second-guessing has gone global, with even West African nomadic salt mining tribes hearing the news. Al-Youbba passionately ridiculed Martz’s seeming mistrust of his own quarterback as well as his unwillingness to allow his offense, playing against a worn down defense, to try and score a touchdown.

“I was pretty interested in what he was saying,” said Goodwin. “I mean, I’d rather hear about the harsh realities of the salt mining trade or their ancient burial traditions, but I’ll take whatever I can get. Plus, he really made some great points. That Mike Martz sure is stupid.”

One of the points involved why Mike Martz left Marc Bulger in the game if he was afraid the young QB would throw a costly interception.

“I spend my days walking through desert and mining for salt,” said Al-Youbba. “My hands are like leather, my feet are like stone. I bring my sons along with me for help. Yet if I were to fall ill, would I be afraid to let them perform my tasks? No. If I were, I would not have taken them on my journey. Allah knows, they have my undying faith. But this Martz guy gives what's his name – Bulger? – the starting job over Kurt Warner, and then he won’t let him win the game. What is that all about? Not too mention that the Panthers D was blitzing all day, and could hardly stand up anymore. My two year old son, Arounae, could have picked up five yards on a simple screen pass.”

“When he said that, I was pretty impressed,” said Goodwin. “How intuitive! I wonder where he learned about football, and I also wondered how he heard about Mike Martz. It only happened Sunday. They usually get news from the west about two months after the fact. When I asked him how he found out he just said ‘Are you kidding? Everyone on the trade route is talking about it.’”

The trade route, once part of the ancient trans-Saharan route, stretches all the way to Timbuktu, Mali. The barren, desolate area is far removed from the west, but somehow word of Martz’s questionable decision-making reached the ancient road

Al-Youbba went on to say that Martz will be lucky if he has a job next year.

“If there is one coach this year that is definitely on the hot seat [sic], it is Martz,” Al-Youbba said. “I would rather live a million more years of turmoil, scouring the hot sands of the Sahara with nothing but a horse and a prayer rug, than be Mike Martz when his boss asks him about that decision. If I were him, I’d get caller ID for my telephone right now and screen all my calls.”

Soon after, Mbaya Al-Youbba ended the day’s Q & A session and the tribe resumed their journey. Later that afternoon, another group of nomads was seen approaching in the distance. They were friends of Al-Youbba, and the group stopped to chat.

“They were speaking in some sort of Arabic that I didn’t understand,” said Goodwin. “But I distinctly heard the name ‘Mike Martz’ coming from one of them. Al-Youbba and this other Tuareg were gesturing excitedly, and the other guy kept slapping his hand to his forehead in mock disbelief. Mbaya told me they were talking about the game.”

“My friend agrees with me,” Al-Youbba said to Liz. “He says he couldn’t believe Martz didn’t…hmm…how do you say?…didn’t…take the skirt off and grow a dick. Yes, that’s it. So you see, he agrees with me.”

The fellow nomad added that “Marshall Faulk is one of the best backs in the league, and Martz is crazy to not use him in that situation, especially with the defense in soft zone coverage.”

The nomads have even gone so far as to incorporate Martz’s name into their everyday language. Since word spread about the coach’s gutless play calling, the name Martz has been synonymous with “coward.”

“If someone sees a scorpion and they run away in fear, that is ‘Martzing,’” said Al-Youbba. “If someone cuts himself and shrieks in pain like a little girl, they are teased and called a ‘Martz’. If a cobra jumps out of the brush and you fail to kill him, you are a ‘Martz.’ Believe me, you don’t want to be called a Martz around here. People don’t think too highly of that guy.”

Goodwin says that so far, her experience with the Tuaregs has been enlightening.

“I’ve learned so much this past week alone,” she said. “I learned the unbelievable hard and uncompromising way these people live, I learned of the many dangers of life in the desert and the many hazards of the salt mining trade. I’ve learned that this vast, unforgiving landscape and the caravans that trek across it are the last vestiges of a disappearing culture. But most of all I learned that if there’s 30 seconds left on the clock and you’ve got two timeouts in hand, don’t be a ****** and play for a tie. As Al-Youbba would say ‘Don’t be a ****ing Martz.’”
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