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Old 11-10-2017, 03:01 PM   #1
gomezcat
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The Broncos are the best team in history - we're doomed.

Well, folks. There's probably something good to watch on the telly on Sunday night (or Monday morning, as it will be in The Cradle of Civilisation). It definitely won't be the Football, as the world's cheatingest and luckiest team get their arses handed to them.

It doesn't matter if Denver play Trevor, Brock or John Elway at QB. In fact, they could play all three.

Typically, the pre-game thingy goes badly. A man in a Broncos jersey, who looks nothing like , throws a banana skin under Brady's feet during the national anthem.

He slips and falls on his knees. This angers the crowd, the Elk that have come down from the Rockies and decent folk everywhere, as he takes a knee. Fortunately, an FBI swat team happen to be passing in a helicopter. He is whisked away and "is disappeared".

Brian Hoyer is nominally the backup, but the most arrogant coach ever refuses to play him. Instead, Belichick plays at signal caller himself as he's the "only f***er around here who actually knows the f***ing playbook".

Belichick blames all of his sacks allowed and picks - all 68 of them - on his "f***ing useless f***ing moron turds" on O.

On D, the Broncos are off the scale good and they actually get bored with the bloodbath that they inflict. The 4th quarter is therefore scoreless.

It doesn't matter, of course, because the 596,334 points they get in the previous 3 are enough.

Pats - ugh.
Broncos - 596,334.
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Old 11-10-2017, 04:54 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gomezcat View Post
Well, folks. There's probably something good to watch on the telly on Sunday night (or Monday morning, as it will be in The Cradle of Civilisation). It definitely won't be the Football, as the world's cheatingest and luckiest team get their arses handed to them.
. . .
Pats - ugh.
Broncos - 596,334.
You forgot to mention the part where they unleash their secret weapon from the locker room: TIM TEBOW returns from the grave and wipes the smiles off the faces of all the doubters. NOW who's having the last laugh!

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Old 11-10-2017, 09:56 PM   #3
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What if Osweiler takes a lot of HGH this week?
It worked for 5-head.
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Old 11-11-2017, 06:47 AM   #4
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What if Osweiler takes a lot of HGH this week?
It worked for 5-head.
Osweiler's passes would just sail higher and farther from their mark.
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Old 11-11-2017, 09:46 AM   #5
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The NLF always has the Patriots play in Denver. Why? Because they hate us and know that Mile High is the pit of doom for the Patriots.
So yes, we are doomed.
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Old 11-11-2017, 10:11 AM   #6
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I’m already sick over this game and the beating in store for us on Sunday night. I’ve spent the last few hours puking all over the floor in fear and disgust.

Pats are going to lose by at least 52. Oz throws 7 touchdowns... Or more. We are indeed doomed.
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Old 11-11-2017, 10:59 AM   #7
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This Is Cool

Sheck it out:

https://www.boston.com/sports/new-en...s-broncos-game
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Old 11-11-2017, 06:46 PM   #8
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Os as a Bronco, undefeated vs. Pats.
d00m.
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"Coach [Bill] Belichick always used to say, 'I don't give a s--- about our defense giving up yards; all I care about is scoring defense, turnovers and the red zone,'" Woody said. "That's really the key to football. A lot of coaches pound their chest and say, 'I've got the No. 1 defense.'
"That number doesn't mean anything."


UP YOURS, NAPOLIAN
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Old 11-11-2017, 10:56 PM   #9
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Well boys, it was a great run but we all knew it had to end sometime.

Cock Osweiler will be in peak form Sunday as Denver's vaunted offense welcomes the hapless New England Patriots to Mile "get me HIGH so I can tolerate being a Donkos fan" stadium. Cock will have his way with the Patriots like he had his way with Houston's payroll, dinking and dunking and bombing his way to an early 47 point lead.

Then, Denver's big D will sack Brady so hard no amount of Avocado ice cream or supermodel sex will save him, then it will be the Brian Hoyer experience for the rest of the season. If only the Pats had had some insurance at the QB position, maybe the season could have been saved.

Final Score
Donks: A whole hell of a lot.
Patridiots: Not nearly enough.

P.S. No one tell AnOldTroll about karma threads so when Pittsburgh week comes he'll think we all lost our minds.
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:34 AM   #10
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P.S. No one tell AnOldTroll about karma threads so when Pittsburgh week comes he'll think we all lost our minds.
No worries. His pet hamster will have eaten his replacement glasses by then, so he won't see the thread.

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Old 11-12-2017, 10:13 AM   #11
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From a mile high to an all-time low, there is little hope for this defenseless Patriots team. Desperate to find help, we sign broken players from broken teams, only to spread the infection of mediocrity throughout the locker room. It catches up this weekend as 28-3 hold up this time. Doomed.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:25 AM   #12
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From a mile high to an all-time low, there is little hope for this defenseless Patriots team. Desperate to find help, we sign broken players from broken teams, only to spread the infection of mediocrity throughout the locker room. It catches up this weekend as 28-3 hold up this time. Doomed.
followed immediately by a nearly mile and a half high to an even lower all time low?

Cheers
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:28 AM   #13
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Ugh.
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