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Old 09-28-2005, 02:33 PM   #1
Hawg73
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It's_Good_It's_Good's collected 2004 Knee Jerk Reactions

In the spirit of his collected works from 2003 I finally got around to collecting IG's great weekly (mostly) game reports for the 2004 season. Enjoy.




Week 1 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good


*If, God forbid, I'm recuperating from something in a hospital somewhere and I need cheering up to help me with the healing process, please wallpaper my room with pictures of the $34 million Man with that look on his face after Vanderjagt missed that kick.

*And nothing could make it sweeter than knowing that it was his frickin' fault for letting McGinest get to him in the first place. Oh, nectar of life.

*Apparently Big Willie Style didn't get the NFL memo from Tony Dungy and the Competition Committee explaining the "emphasis" on the rule against knocking the creamy filling out of Archie's boys.

*Do you feel like I do; that opening on a Thursday night makes it hard to believe that the game actually counts? It still feels like a big preseason game. I'll need to stare at the league standings for an hour or so Friday morning just so it sinks in.

*The upset of the night was Madden pointing out how Keith Traylor was overpursuing, thus opening gaps in the line for Edgerrin James. This was the first truly insightful comment he's had since the Reagan Administration. Actually, the fat bastard had a hell of a night, with even more good observations as the game wore on. Maybe ABC has replaced him with pre-recorded comments in a database that just play automatically as the situation dictates, like in "Madden 2005."

*The most overrated stat in all of sports is the NFL "start." Corey Dillon was the only HB on their entire roster, but on the first drive they went with 5-wide, therefore he didn't "start." That's like saying Pedro Martinez didn't get a start because he was in the dugout while the Sox batted first.

*Frankly I watched the pre-game hoping against hope the NFL would let us see Janet's other breast. But apparently ABC had her house surrounded.

*BTW, like Mrs. Dungy, Jessica Simpson definitely did not have a collapsed lung.

*That spin move that Dwight Freeney made on Matt Light for the sack was the same move I patented on many of the dance floors of Boston back in the 1980s. Usually I broke it out for Kaja Goo Goo's "Too Shy" or the break on Nenah Cherry's "Buffalo Stance." Get me laid, you ask? It nearly did.

*These sideline reporters need to get this through their cement heads: asking Belichick about the "new" chuck rule is like asking George W. Bush about how he "stole" the election in Florida.

*I'm not sure what it means, but Vince Wilfork played the entire 1st qtr. and well into the 2nd at NT before they sent in Traylor. I thought he played well, although I thought VW had a chance to take that fumble all the way to the house.

*What I learned from the promos for ABCs The Lost is that if you're ever in an airplane crash over water, the only survivors will be boring actors and hot babes.

*I don't know if anyone else caught it, but it was nice to see Dillon signalling "TD" on Grahams catch in the endzone. It was a minor gesture, and it happened behind the play, but I think it's indicative of what he's been saying: he doesn't care about his numbers, he just wants to win. But if he says he should have been running out the clock in the 4th qtr intead of them throwing the ball, he has my total support.

*In the 3rd in particular, Tom Brady converted more 3rd-and-longs than he converted Bledsoephiles in 2001.

*When they show the camera angle from behind and above Brady, I can't help but wonder how in the name of Sweet Merciful Sammy Baugh he sees those passing lanes open.

*But Brady was dead wrong about one thing. The best line in Scarface is "Pelican! Pelican! Fly, pelican!"

*That was one of the all-time great regular season games. I was dizzy, lightheaded and my left shoulder was numb, which means I think I was having a stroke. So I hate to be a wet blanket. but let's all admit that if this is how they're gonna play against the run this year, all of us are wasting our time here.

*And having Arizona next on the schedule is like popping a winning scratch ticket.


__________________
Weis agreed to let Montana call the first play against Washington on Saturday. He called "pass right."

Montana never got to see the play. He died Friday at his home.

When the Irish started on their own 1-yard-line following a fumble recovery, Mazurkiewicz wasn't sure Notre Dame would be able to throw a pass. Weis was concerned about that, too. So was quarterback Brady Quinn.

"He said 'What are we going to do?'" Weis said. "I said 'We have no choice. We're throwing it to the right.'"

Fasano caught the pass and leapt over a defender for a 13-yard gain


Last edited by ItsGood_ItsGood on 09-12-2004 at 09:34 PM
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Old 09-28-2005, 02:34 PM   #2
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Week 2 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good


*This week's KJRs will be an abbreviated addition. Let me explain. This past Sunday featured the fullest Boston sports fans plate in 2004. The Ryder Cup. Red Sox-Yankees. The only Patriots game in 23 days. But at 3PM, I was walking into my local community theater to watch the lovely and talented Mrs. ItsGood in a production of Chess. Of course to know me is to know that I take a back seat to no man in my love of musical theater. I had considered bringing a headset radio so I could discreetly catch Gil & Gino with the call of the game, but I found out I was going to be seated next to my mother-in-law. For more details into this journey into the inner circles of Hell, I refer you to Dante's Inferno

Anyway, I figure I'm owed about a half-dozen all-night card games. I mean the kind that only single guys enjoy. The stumbling home stinkin' drunk while the sun is rising no questions asked variety. But I digress...

*Having Corey Dillon on the Pats has had a negative effect on my health. I've heard ads that say you need to consult your doctor if you have an erection that lasts more than four hours.

*Remember when the Pats sucked as much and as long as the Cardinals have? That thought came to me when they kept showing those four sad sacks in the stands that were trying to dress up in kick-ass pro-Cardinals outfits, but looked more like The Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

*Hawg73: Please forgive me. Adrian Klemm is a colossal bust. You were right, I was wrong. There I said it. Does he have incriminating pictures of the coaches? You don't hold a DEs facemask for five full seconds if you can block him straight up.

*"Bangkok's gonna be witness
To the ultimate test of cerebal fitness.
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother.
One night in Bangkok and the world's you're oyster.
Not much between dispair and ec-stacy."

Sorry.

*And I hate to criticize Ty Law and Chrisitian Fauria, who have come up big more times than Ron Jeremy, but when you commit a penalty on the 1-yard line, you deserve to run gassers all the way back to Foxboro. During the bye week, anyway.

*I wish I could say something funny about the Pat Tillman tribute, but I can't. Once again, the NFL sets the right tone and says what we all are thinking. Kudos to them. And Godspeed to #40.

*Corey Dillon can pick up 14 yards and make a "packy run" in the time it used to take Antwoine Smith to hit the hole.

*The Pats have been so good for so long that its unsettling to see them covered by the Utility Grade broadcasting team. Don Criqui without Gerry Glanville is like eating a jelly sandwich without peanut butter.

*As for Neil Racker's kicks:
"I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine."

I am truly, truly sorry.

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Old 09-28-2005, 02:36 PM   #3
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Week 4 Knee Jerk Reactions
* It's great to see how much Bledsoe has improved since his rookie season. All that hard work aimed at eliminating mistakes like his lousy footwork, his throwing to the wrong spots and his inability to avoid costly sacks has finally paid off.

*How do you eliminate one official and still end up with 21 penalties? Simple. The back-up referee got microphone happy. I've seen it happen in karaoke bars. Once some people hear their own voice over the sound system, it's easier to get someone off heroin than to take the mike out of their hands. For Scott Green, "Illegal motion...prior to the snap..." was his "Once I was afraid, I was petrified..."

*It's nice to see that bastion of journalistic integrity 60 Minutes doing their second report in the last three weeks about an NFL head coach. I guess it's just a coincidence that CBS is into the league for a hundred jillion dollars. Under Massachusetts General Laws, doing these kinds of favors for money is referred to as "being a Common Nightwalker." When Paul Tagliabue got this big, sloppy wet one from CBS News, I bet he could taste what John Kerry had for lunch.

*If Stephen Neal could have laid out that hit on London Fletcher without hurting Bethel Johnson, he would have been signed by Vince McMahon instead of Bill Belchick.

*Starting in place of Steve McNair this week was Billy Volek, who passed Scott Zolak on the NFLs rather obscure list of "Backup QBs Whose Name Most Sounds Like the Leader of an Alien Invasion." To determine a winner, you have to put the name into a sentence like "People of Earth! Kneel before Volek!" I've already taken Rohan Davey out of the running.

*It was funny to see Brian Moorman, after his 34-yard run on a botched punt, doing a pose-down for the crowd behind the Bills bench. I noticed earlier in Week 1 he had a passs completion for something like 31 yards. I look forward to someone like Larry Izzo reminding him that he's a frickin' punter. The hard way.

*As much fun as it is to make fun of Bledsoe, on that fumble, he couldn't have gotten away from Bruschi if he was wearing roller skates and a Wile E. Coyote-like Acme Missle on his back.

*If a BC running back did what Travis Henry did, fall to the ground on 3rd & 1, then go the wrong way on 4th down and let his QB get killed, the FBI would launch an investigation.

*If Henry is not on the take then he either:
1. Tripped over the blue line TV uses to mark the line of scrimmage
2. Fell prey to Romeo Crennel's Jedi Mind Trick
3. Simply did what the great Dan Jenkins called "self tackle-ization."

*Speaking of coined terms, I appreciate that the NFL has introduced into the lexicon the word "unchallengeable." I won't rest until it appears in Webster's.

*This is a sincere question, and I hope someone can answer it for me. What is the difference between a Kick Returner and a Punt Returner? Seriously, are there different skill sets involved? I've been watching football my whole life, and it seems to me that both jobs require catching the ball cleanly and taking off upfield behind your blockers. Why then, when Troy Brown has to leave the game does Tyrone Poole take over and not Bethel Johnson? If I ever get a chance to ask an NFL coach a question, that'll be it. Anyone else want to help me out?

*In honor of the NHL lockout, I wanted to work in a cool hockey cliche. I figured since the Bills are in the AFC East, that this game was a "4-pointer." But a hockey fan buddy of mine pointed out that you only use that one late in the season against a division opponent who is also in contention. So I'm left with saying, "You've gotta be impressed with the Patriot's Oh-fense. No doubt abooot it."
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Old 09-28-2005, 02:37 PM   #4
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Week 5 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good



*Just so I've got this straight...The NFL doesn't recognize the the Pats win over the Panthers which was seen broadcast in 32 languages and watched by 1.5 billion people. But it does recognize the 1934 Bears win over the Portsmouth Spartans. Now I gotcha. Thanks, Tagliabue.

*New Patriot-for-Life Matt Light played well against Jason Taylor in his first game after signing a contract extension. Apparently the former Boilermaker missed all those Ron Borges articles from last Spring that said Bill Belichick is so cheap/dishonest/evil that no one will want to play for him once they have the chance to go elsewhere. So, apparently, did Corey Dillon. And Brady. While we're at it, even Ty Law isn't buying that bill of goods anymore. Therefore I anxiously await Borges' retraction.

*This week's Dan Dierdorf Unintenionally Dirty Observation of the Week: "Tom Brady loves to massage the pocket..."

*After watching the 'Phins for an entire game for the first time this year, I'm not so sure that things can't continue to get worse. Wannstead definitely has the stench of death on him, like he's watched the video from "The Ring." Your punter doesn't decide to run the ball on 4th-and-long from midfield if he thinks the coach will be around long enough to cut his ass.

*And when Rodney Harrison popped him, it was the nastiest hit on a guy named "Turk" since Michael Corleone settled all the family business.

*I kind of liked that ad for lip balm where Brenston Buckner kisses his equipment once for every member of his family. I just wish they had run the same ad starring Dave "The Father of Our Country" Meggett. It would had to have been an info-mercial.

* First, a joke: This guy goes in the confessional. He tells the Father how he had sex with his wife five times the night before. The priest says, "With your wife? That's not a sin, my son. Why are you telling me?" And the guy says "Hey, I'm telling everybody." On that note, I have an 8-year old who wanted to play Mites football this year. Reluctantly, I signed him up. Sunday he had several tackles (some for a loss), a fumble recovery, batted down a pass (a pass! By 3rd graders!) and a rushing TD. Hey, I'm telling everybody.

*I'm comfortable including that last note because nothing makes me look forward to Monday mornings more than the chance to find out how Peter King's daughter's soccer team made out.

*I believe that for his entire career, Daniel Graham will be compared with Jeremy Shockey. Right now, Graham leads in TD catches, but Shockey is way ahead in saying stupid crap.

* Jay Fiedler told Dierdorf he wasn't afraid to win the game with his feet. Based on that fumble, he apparently meant carrying the ball with his feet.

*Kentucky Fried Chicken is missing the boat for not hiring Jenna Jameson as spokesman for their "Pepsi 1/2 gallon Mega-jug."

*When it comes to getting over to cover a receiver, Arturo Freeman is a letter-carrier, and Sam Madison is a fax machine.

*Why I Don't Bet With the Bookmakers, Vol. XXVIII: For those who took the Pats and laid 14 points, the difference between a win and a push was Wes Welkey.

*I count myself among the millions of Pats fans throughout the country who spent the 2nd quarter screaming "NO! Not a scar on his chin! NOT HIS BEAUTIFUL CHIN!!!"

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Old 09-28-2005, 02:38 PM   #5
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Week 6 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good



*I had two goals for the Seattle game. First, a win (duh). Second, I wanted the Pats to score more than the Yankees. Fortunately, they wrapped that one up in the first half.

*Meanwhile, my beloved Red Sox were responsible for more pop ups than Internet Explorer.

*Did anyone else notice how, in the 2nd quarter, after Mike Vrabel got into fisticuffs with Robbie Tobeck, that Crennel put Vrabel in at tackle on the very next play. Vrabel then proceeded to go to war against a double team of Tobeck and Steve Hutchinson. I haven't seen one man kick the crap out of two like that since Andre the Giant went at it with the British Bulldogs. If you noticed Vrabel going a little extra nuts after he beat Tobeck for his 3rd quarter sack, there's your reason.

*Have you noticed that Nose Tackle is the only position Dan Klecko no longer plays? If the Kult is still taking members, I've got my Kool Aid cup ready.

*You have to love Collinsworth saying that Koren Robinson was taking his eyes off the ball over the middle because "he was looking to run with the ball after the catch." Veteran Pats observers know Robinson was looking for Rodney Harrison and Eugene Wilson because he knows they're looking to smack him senseless and then "teabag" him while he's down.

*Rosie Colvin's Unnecessary Roughness penalty (which nullified a 'Hawks motion penalty) was so senseless/stupid that it deserved a Red Sox adjective: "Ramiresque."

*The Knee Jerks unscientific survey indicates that 40% of all chicks in the stands at the Blade are wearing Adam Vinatieri jerseys. This prompts the question: Exactly how many Josh Brown shirts do the Seahawks sell?

*That schoolboy picture of Howie Long was priceless. He had that Obnoxious Jock look on his face where you know he's just come from cramming something or other up some freshman player's rectum. I'll bet he still holds the Milford High record for "Most Nerds Given 'Swirlies' in the Gym Toilet."

*I can honestly say I've never asked myself "Isn't there a car out there that I can get excited about?"

*Watch for this next game: Dexter Reid is the first guy down on kick coverage every single time. by now, teams are probably sextuple-teaming Larry Izzo, and Reid is making them pay.

*My Peter King Non-Football Note of the Week. For as long as I can remember, at this time of the year I always get into Warren Zevon music. Maybe it's because he has so many Halloween-appropriate songs. But even his ballads (i.e. his non-werewolf, non-headless Thompson gunner songs) have a distinctive October feel to them. I realized this as I spent Saturday painting the house while listening to his anthology, including "Desperados Under the Eaves." Get it? I was painting the house. Pretty freakin' clever, I thought.

*I bet the last time Matt Hasselbeck was that confused was when Elisabeth (with an "s") was having that weird father figure obsession with Big Tom during Survivor: Africa.

*Two things about the Pats scare me to death:
1)The sight of Tom Brady's helmet flying off, and part of me, for a split second, thinking his head is still in it. (You thought so too, admit it.)
2)The way Ty Poole stays focused on the WR without looking for the ball, even when they've crossed the goal line. It's one thing when his man's on a fly pattern or something, but once he hits the endzone, why doesn't he turn around then? Does he think the pass isn't coming until his guy reaches the McDonald's stand?

*TV timeouts being what they are, I can't get through a game without finding something on another station to flip to. For this game, it was my new obsession: Women's Pro Billiards on ESPN2. Every fantasy I now have involves me, Jeanette Lee and Allison Fisher on a pool table.

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Old 09-28-2005, 02:39 PM   #6
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Week 12 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good



*The only people having a worse run than the Browns are the Dolphin's and Lemon Snicket's orphan children.

*I must confess, I never remember seeing Terry Robiskie in my life, but he doesn't look like I pictured him. Instead of looking like a football coach with an Eastern European surname, he looks M.L. Carr.

*And all day today he looked like M.L. when the ping pong balls didn't drop and the Celts lost out on Tim Duncan.

*In fairness to Robiskie, what do you say to your team after they've fallen behind by a TD 7 seconds into the game? "That's OK. It could've been worse"?

*But I can never recall a team getting beat so soundly congratulating themselves so much after so many plays. Aren't they aware how much they suck? The Browns were like American school kids, who score below Bora Bora on Standardized Achievement Tests, but rank #1 in the world in self-esteem.

*I've finally figured out what it takes to knock Joe Andruzzi out of a game: a 21-point lead. When they were taking him to the locker room just before the half, I knew it had to be just a precaution, because all his limbs were still attached. On a team full of tough guys, #63 is the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ("Come back here and I'll bite you in the ass.")

*Does Kevin Faulk wear a big, red mouth guard, or are those Penny Candy Store wax lips?

*In the Kingdom of ItsGoodLand, jokes about Earthwind Moreland's name will be strictly forbidden. Unless they're actually funny. But "...Earthwind who? And Fire? ha ha ha" will be punishable by death. And jokes about Randall Gay will be decided by me on a case-by-case basis.

*By percentage, what is the success rate of players trying to fall on a loose ball? You'd think there is no easier thing to do in all of sports. You'd think that when a guy weighs 310, staying on your feet would be a bigger challenge. But when these guys try to flop on a fumble, they miss more often then Scott Rolen.

*It would take a cynic to point out that while Eugene Wilson played a damned fine game, his best tackle was on Rodney Harrison after his INT. So I won't.

*If anyone watches the tape of the game, look for this, and tell me if you see what I saw. In the second quarter, Troy Brown let a punt bounce, but it hit off a Patriots' [Patrick Pass?] ass and became a live ball. There was a short scramble while (naturally) several players tried to fall on it and missed. While the Clevelan players in the scrum started pointing toward the Pats endzone (as in "We recovered. Our ball going this way") Ryan Pontbriand was pointing the Patriots way. One of the Pats offensive players who was taking the field grabbed Pontbriand's arms from behind and switched his arms to point the way his teammates were. I guess he's either really dumb or exceptionally honest. Did anyone else witness this?

*The way Bud Selig needs to deal with the steroid problem, Paul Tagliabue has to deal with the issue of so many nondescript QBs with similar names. The Luke McCown/Cade McNown/Josh McCown situation has reached critcal mass.

*But in his first pro start, McCown became the fastest player in NFL history (I'm sorry...in the history of the National Football League) to have his loved ones sitting in the stands to become over exposed by the networks. The previous record was a tie between Susan Warner and former Pittsburgh QB Bubby Brister's ubiquitous parents.

*I like to think that at least one guy in the Pats huddle likes Lord of the Rings enough to have said "We ride now, for death, for ruin, for ROHAN!!!"
Damned if I wouldn't have.

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Old 09-28-2005, 02:39 PM   #7
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Week 15 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good



*Oh Lord. Remember last December when the Pats were tearing up the league with ball control and a smothering defense? How far removed does that feel? Not to complain, but those INTs were Bledsonian. Or Testeverdic. Or Chandleriffic.

*Oh, this sucks. Sucks on toast. Tonight the Pats were to Miami what their cheerleaders are to the Dolphins cheerleaders; completely outmatched.

*On a happier note, I especially liked the Miami cheerleaders in their Santa outfits. I'd sure like to kiss them under the cameltoe.

*Remember in Trading Places when Dan Akroyd lost his entire social status, and was so destitute and demoralized that he wouldn't stop a dog from peeing on him if he was lying on the sidewalk? That's how low the Dolphins morale is right now; bad enough to say "what the hell" and just wear the hideous orange uniforms. But we've just given them their Super Bowl.

*And it should be noted that before the Pats decided to wear the white uniforms, they first gave consideration to the dark jerseys. Just in the interest of fairness, equality and opportunity.

*What would we all be saying if Josh Miller came out of the game with an arm injury? As long as it's attached, what does he need it for?

*I appreciate that Nick Saban is a great coach and one of Bill Belichick's best friends. But when you see a clip of him you realize he gives off a kind of weird Howard Dean vibe. I mean, there's good coach insanity (BB) and there's bad coach insanity (Jim Mora). Miami has to figure out which he has.

*The only way I'm watching the Shaq vs. Kobe on Christmas Day is if they fight it with guns.

*I loved it when they showed Dan Marino watching the ABC feed in the owner's box. As soon as the monitor he was looking at switched to the shot of himself, he turned around to face the camera. But rather than wave, or acknowledge that he was on camera, he just kind of casually looked around. Maybe Mr. Isotoner is worried Peyton Manning is stealing his mojo, and he needs to get in all the face time he can.

*If Jim Bates went to boarding school like Belichick did, would the instructors have called him "Master Bates"?

*You know that ad they ran for that racing zebra movie, with Bernie Mac and David Spade as the horseflies? Well, in the kingdom of ItGoodLand, it will be no longer be permissable to make kids movies with little animal sidekicks voiced by sitcom actors who spend the whole movie making annoying pop culture references. I will call my edict, "Timon & Pumba's Law." So it is written, so it shall be done.

*If Stephen Neal were a pro wrestler turned O-lineman, he'd never get a holding penalty as long as his partner could distract the referee.

*This might not affect the Pats' playoff picture in the long run. But it can't do a hell of a lot of good for 2008 Fighting Irish.

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Old 09-28-2005, 02:40 PM   #8
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AFC Championship Game Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good



*Wow. Hines Ward must have really cared about Johnny Carson.

*It was nice of the NFL to let Joe Namath present the trophy to Kraft. But you know Bonnie Bernstein had her hands on her pepper spray, just in case.

*Did anyone stick around after the game to find out how the "NUMB3RS" guy figured out who the killer was by studying the sprinkler? I didn't think so.

*But I bet a crime-solving math genius could've figured out how many beers I had during the game by studying the pee-splatter droplets around my toilet.

*How many big catches in huge games will Deion Branch have to come up with before the ESPN guys start calling him a "playmaka?" Or can he take the Joe Horn option, where he wins nothing, but acts like he's really good? I know Michael Irvin and Stuart Scott go for that.

*Two of the overlooked plays of the game were on that same drive when Bettis turned it over. Twice in a row, The Bus met Tedy Bruschi straight on with a full head of steam, and you could feel the contact from your living room. Both times Tedy made the tackle, and on one he stopped Bettis dead in his tracks. It was one of those epic one-on-one battles like Alien vs. Predator.

*Its hard to hate the Steelers. They hit, they run the ball right at you, they block and tackle, and they've been part of their fans lives for generations. I'm of course glad the Pats showed them who's boss, but you just don't revel in their defeat like you do the pretty boys from Indy.

*But I'm convinced that part of the reason Bill Cowher never gets any blame is because he looks like a tough, great football coach. I wonder if, having lost 4-of-5 AFC Championship home games, he'd still have his job if he looked like Clay Aiken.

*Rodney Harrison would find a way to say people are disrespecting the Pats if the team was given the Nobel Prize.

*I've seen the SkyCam operating in person, and I still can't figure out how the ball never hits it. The camera I can understand, but how come a punt or something has never hit the wire?

*Another Pulitzer-worthy sentence from Ron "I'm Writing as Badly as I Can" Borges. This one from Monday morning' Globe:

quote:
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"Last night the Patriots made clear why they have won two of the last three Super Bowls and why they are on their way to a third Super Bowl in four years as they dismantled the Steelers 41-27 to win the Lamar Hunt Trophy for the third time since 2001."
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I'm sorry, how many times?
Mr. Evil recovered on Tuesday with an admittedly good line when he said that Wilfork and Traylor were "more stout than a keg of Guinness." Proving once again that even a blind squirrel can find a nut.

*Like Roethlisburger, Vince Wilfork hit the rookie wall. He just knocked it the hell over. VW's playing his best ball of the year.

*I've got a "NUMB3R" for CBS: ten. That's how many times I'll allow them to plug one of their shows before I absolutely vow never, ever to watch it. I don't care if it's "An All-Star Tribute to Its Good_Its Good" or "Live, Nude Jennifer Love Hewitt". Ten. That's it. They went over their limit on "NUMB3RS" by the 2nd quarter.

*How much should you celebrate a trip to the Super Bowl? The only people who buy Conference Champions t-shirts are non-fans who don't know better and give them as gifts. And Phildelphia Eagles fans.

*If I owned futures in Ty Law, I'd place a "sell" order. Next years defensive backfield:
CB: Assante Samuel, Eugene Wilson
S: Harrison, Dexter Reid
That'll save the Pats a lot of salary cap tokens.

*"You've gotta blitz and put pressure on the QB" should be right up there with "You've gotta bunt and move the runners over" in the ash heap of discredited ideas. Just like they did to Peyton manning, every time the Pats showed blitz, they instead rushed 3 or 4 and had the rookie totally befuddled.

Last edited by Hawg73; 09-28-2005 at 02:46 PM..
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Old 09-28-2005, 02:42 PM   #9
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Week 10 Knee Jerk Reactions
by It's_Good_It's_Good




*After 11 years of watching 95% of the snaps Drew Bledsoe has taken in his career, I have reached one inescapable conclusion: You could use this man's learning curve to put up shelving.

*Early in the year I predicted that Drew would be benched by Thanksgiving. Then last month I moved that up to Veteran's Day. I'm going to finally pin the tail on the donkey and say Losman starts next week.

*After seeing the Mo Lewis hit on DB for the 1000th time, I realized it was one of those rare moments when a player's name told the complete story. Q: Why did they take him out after that play? Because Drew bled so.

*Every week there's at least one Pats player that you didn't even realize was activated for the game who steps up and makes a big play, like Fred Coleman in the 2001 AFC Championship Game. This week's player that makes you go "Whom?"...TE Jed Weaver. Nice catch in the 1st quarter there, Jed. Come pick up your trophy.

*It's nice to see Belichick has augmented the quality look that is his "Shrek" sweatshirt with a "Boys Regular" haircut. I still contend that fashion should make a statement, not ask a question. But you need look no further than Johnny Damon to realize how much winning can make looking like crap look good.

*In spite of the penalty on Rodney Harrison, the only low blow on Bledsoe was that lousy pun I made earlier.

*While it's always disappointing to get inside your opponent's 10 and settle for a field goal, I've never felt as comfortable with a 6-0 lead in my life. The Pat's stacked up against the run early and dared Bledsoe to beat them. When twice he couldn't get Buffalo to midfield against two CBs the Pats picked up at the Ocean State Job Lot, the game was essentially over.

*Moorman, who killed the Pats last month, punted one 24 yds. to the 10, then kicked another short one out of the end zone. Which once again leads me to ask: Whatever happened to the coffin corner kick? It used to be automatic to try it anytime you were kicking from your opponents side of the field. Now, teams would rather try to kick it between the hash marks and hope the punter can spin it back like a Vijay Singh lob wedge. Didn't the old way more successful, or am I imagining things?

*Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for the Successful Businessman.
1. Survival of self
2. Survival of species
3. Successful if obscure cardboard box manufacturer
4. Stadium owner
5. NFL owner
6. NFL Champion
7. Dinner with Joe Theismann/Self-actualization

*I liked when the former Mr. Cathy Lee Crosby credited Belichick and RAC with being successful against Bledsoe because they are so familiar with him. That's right. After hours of studying Drew, they determined that when he throws the ball, it's easy to intercept. That extra work in the film room sure pays off.

*I know I'm breaking ranks by looking at individual stats, but when the Pats are in the Red Zone, I'm genuinely torn between rooting for a Brady TD pass and a Dillon TD run.

*It's nice to see Bono taking time out from blasting the greed of US corporations to plug iPods. Or maybe his endorsement fee is going to relieve Third World debt. iPods, of course, are sold by Apple, the very ungreedy mom & pop operation that made $125 million in the last two weeks off The Incredibles. Once again, Bono, Bruce, Vedder, Stipe: Shut up and sing.

*Drew has deservedly been given credit for working with young QBs, even the ones being groomed to replace him. One thing he has clearly passed along to JP Losman is the importance of looking disgusted as you walk off the field after a turnover. Losman's look, with his helmet pulled back, plastic chin strap cover over his nose like a pig out of Pink Floyd's The Wall was one of the all time best. Welcome the the NFL, JP.

Last edited by Hawg73; 09-28-2005 at 02:47 PM..
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