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Old 06-09-2005, 09:10 PM   #1
fusion99
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OT: Renegged on paying the tab for my lunch date yesterday. (long post)

It's only been a week since I dumped my girlfriend, but I am quickly getting back on my feet. Yesterday, I had a lunch date that I set with a cute little chick, whom I met at the gym on Wednesday. I agreed to take her out to lunch, my treat.

All was going well. I picked her up from her apartment complex and we had some good conversation on the way to the restaurant. She didn't even mind me stopping off at the P.O. to ship out a package real quick. Seemed pretty easygoing.

We arrive at Red Lobster, which is her favorite restaurant, and I'm already planning out our future f**k sessions in my mind, as I eye her ample bust and rear (accentuated by a very slim waist, score!).

The waiter arrives and we order our drinks. I have a coke and she has a margarita - the most expensive one. At this point I'm like "no big deal, maybe the booze will get her going and we can f**k sometime today!" The waiter disappears for awhile and more small talk ensues. She's funny and says something interesting semi-regularly, but does whine a bit.

Our waiter comes back with the drinks and asks if we're ready to order. Being a gentleman, I ask the lady what she would like, to which she replies "I would like an appetizer, the quesadilla's, a bowl of clam chowder and, for lunch, the New England platter." Now, we are out for "lunch" mind you. Lunch. I try to hide my concern while ordering my Aztec Chicken. Then she drives another nail into the coffin.

"Oh, and bring me another Margarita when this one's empty, and a coke when you get the chance."

!??

As she finishes her first margarita, more and more drama, complaints and gossip come flying out of her mouth - replacing anything interesting or funny she had been saying up until now.

I sit through her drinks, appetizer, soup and increasingly insipid conversation before our meals hit the table. We finally get our meals and as I'm digging into my Aztec Chicken, it happens.

"Tee hee! Could I get a box for this?"

At this point in the game, I'm ready to pop. I offered to take this girl out to lunch, not buy her her 2000 calories for the day and takeout lunch for tommorow.

With margarita #2 down she has become incredibly annoying to converse with. All semblance of normal, worthwhile conversation went where those margaritas will end up once they've travelled through this skanktron's digestive system.

The dreaded bill finally arrives. The damage is extensive. My end of the bill, $10.53. Her end, $35.32.

To say that I felt taken advantage of would be an understatement. Call me overly polite, but when someone offers to take me out to lunch, I try to keep the costs minimal - a simple drink, meal sized appropriate for the time of day and, maybe, a split appetizer.

I have one last shot at making this worthwhile.

"I've had a great time with you. Perhaps you'd like to go to your place and spend some more time together, talking and getting to know each other," I say with the sincerest expression of interest and kindness that I can muster.

She replies, "I have to pick up my ex-boyfriend from the court house in an hour. His mother dropped him off, but I'm his only ride back."

Game over.

I exchange a few more bits of small talk, sneak $15 under the bill when she's not paying attention, excuse myself to the restroom and walk the f**k out as nonchalantly as possible. No one notices. My getaway is complete, both literally and figuratively.
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Old 06-09-2005, 09:23 PM   #2
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Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.
My first clue that she was no good was that 'Red Lobster' was her favorite restaurant. Red Lobster?

Last edited by Dirtywater; 06-11-2005 at 11:35 AM..
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Old 06-09-2005, 09:31 PM   #3
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From my perspective you did end up getting f**cked! Gee, and you didn't even like it!
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Old 06-10-2005, 12:12 AM   #4
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When the hell did red lobster start serving quesedillas?
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Old 06-10-2005, 12:30 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by heldicus
When the hell did red lobster start serving quesedillas?
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:11 AM   #6
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Dude, as soon as she said Red Lobster was her favorite restaurant you should have known that by the end of lunch she'd be picking her ex-boyfriend up at court. Wait. Don't tell me. Was he in for drunk and disorderly or misdemeanor methamphetamine possession.

Oh. And how was the Aztec Chicken?
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Old 06-10-2005, 06:25 AM   #7
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From one woman's perspective...

I suspect your date knew that the only thing you were interested in was getting laid.

Here's a tip. Most women, no matter how otherwise dumb, can usually tell when this is the case.


You complain about her insipid conversation. You give her the most "sincere" expression of your interest.

You got exactly what you deserved.

And I'd be very careful, if I were you, about walking out on a check -- especially on a woman who's about to pick up her "ex" from a court-house.

You really don't know what she's going to tell him about you or how she's going to characterize your "date" or what you did to her.
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Old 06-10-2005, 06:43 AM   #8
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So what happens when you go back to the gym?
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Old 06-10-2005, 06:51 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Supkem
So what happens when you go back to the gym?


Brilliant.

Why do I suspect that this has all the makings of a classic thread?
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Old 06-10-2005, 07:00 AM   #10
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Re: OT: Renegged on paying the tab for my lunch date yesterday. (long post)

Quote:
Originally posted by fusion99
excuse myself to the restroom and walk the f**k out as nonchalantly as possible. No one notices.
You offered to take her to lunch. You pay the bill for lunch.

No controversy here.
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Old 06-10-2005, 07:10 AM   #11
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Is this a Penthouse forum? Only $45 total bill at Red Lobster? That is cheap for Red Lobster. What are ya bitchin' about?
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Old 06-10-2005, 07:12 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice


Brilliant.

Why do I suspect that this has all the makings of a classic thread?
It would also make a great reality show.

That "cute little chick" will be loaded for bear the next time she goes to the gym.
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Old 06-10-2005, 07:33 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by bideau
It would also make a great reality show.

That "cute little chick" will be loaded for bear the next time she goes to the gym.
I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying now.

I'm going to have to alert Wyo to this thread. She will undoubtedly have a very....wyo take.

But seriously...the really funny part is everything that flew under Fusion's radar screen as he made his clumsy attempts to get her into the sack.

More than likely, the progression of her internal monologue went something like this...

1. God this guy's a bore. But he won't leave me alone until I go out with him. Well, okay, lunch won't be so bad.

2. Oh goody, I get to go on errands with him. Typical self-centered idiot. No doubt his schedule is the only one that matters. Be nice. Be nice. This'll take no more than an hour. Get through it.

3. J-e-s-u-s C-h-r-i-s-t, can he stop staring at my breasts? Oh come on, buddy, why don't you just start ing....oh my god, he is ing.

4. Can he stop talking about himself? Make this stop. Okay, I'm sure as hell going to make sure we don't have a follow-up date.

5. Let's see...how can I really piss him off? Whining might not be enough. I know. Eat three times my weight in food? Excellent plan.

6. Is this joker serious? Come back to my place and get to know each other? Right. uh-huh. I know what this jerk-off wants. Oh, god. Think of something...quick...I GOT IT...VIOLENT EX-BOYFRIEND...That'll scare him away. Whew. I am toooo good.

7. He's buying it, too. What a maroon.

8. Where'd the little s-h-i-t go? This guy can't afford a decent lunch at Red Lobster. Well, thank god he's gone. He's never gonna call me back, now. Bullet dodged.

9. Wait'll all the girls at the gym hear about this one.
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Old 06-10-2005, 07:38 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying now.

I'm going to have to alert Wyo to this thread. She will undoubtedly have a very....wyo take.

But seriously...the really funny part is everything that flew under Fusion's radar screen as he made his clumsy attempts to get her into the sack.

More than likely, the progression of her internal monologue went something like this...

1. God this guy's a bore. But he won't leave me alone until I go out with him. Well, okay, lunch won't be so bad.

2. Oh goody, I get to go on errands with him. Typical self-centered idiot. No doubt his schedule is the only one that matters. Be nice. Be nice. This'll take no more than an hour. Get through it.

3. J-e-s-u-s C-h-r-i-s-t, can he stop staring at my breasts? Oh come on, buddy, why don't you just start ing....oh my god, he is ing.

4. Can he stop talking about himself? Make this stop. Okay, I'm sure as hell going to make sure we don't have a follow-up date.

5. Let's see...how can I really piss him off? Whining might not be enough. I know. Eat three times my weight in food? Excellent plan.

6. Is this joker serious? Come back to my place and get to know each other? Right. uh-huh. I know what this jerk-off wants. Oh, god. Think of something...quick...I GOT IT...VIOLENT EX-BOYFRIEND...That'll scare him away. Whew. I am toooo good.

7. He's buying it, too. What a maroon.

8. Where'd the little s-h-i-t go? This guy can't afford a decent lunch at Red Lobster. Well, thank god he's gone. He's never gonna call me back, now. Bullet dodged.

9. Wait'll all the girls at the gym hear about this one.
OMG Alice! That is so funny I am cryin'. This has got to be the post of the year in IMO.
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Old 06-10-2005, 08:10 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
5. Let's see...how can I really piss him off? Whining might not be enough. I know. Eat three times my weight in food? Excellent plan.

9. Wait'll all the girls at the gym hear about this one.
on #5, I thought I just found girls with big appetites, you mean it could have been ME!!! oh the shame.

on #9, I guess not all publicity is good publicity

DO girls really talk about guys like this?
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