>
Patriots Planet - New England Patriots Forums and Message Boards

Home Members List Top Posters Arcade Casino Toolbar
Go Back   Patriots Planet - New England Patriots Forums and Message Boards > The Razor > The Oedipus Tex Classic Thread Forum
Mark Forums Read rel="nofollow">Mark Forums Read
Register All Albums FAQDonate Calendar

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-02-2003, 02:17 PM   #1
Hawg73
Mediocre with flashes of brilliance
 
Hawg73's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Gumdrop house on Lollipop Ln.
Posts: 20,273
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $575933
My Mood


Hawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousy
Hawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousy
Waaaay off-topic: share your most memorable vomiting experiences

Those of you that can't handle indelicate topics please read no further - it's not my intent to gross anybody out. No complaining - you've been warned.

One thing I have noticed from time to time is that there is nothing funnier than a good round of puke stories. I once considered trying to write a book which would be a collection of first person accounts of people's worst experiences with the dreaded technicolor yawn. In doing a little preliminary research I heard some really incredible stories, but never got around to trying to actually write it. The title? Blowing Chunks seemed to have a nice ring to it.

Anyway I am looking for people to share that special moment in your lives when you or somebody you know lost control in an embarrasing or interesting way in a public or private setting and the circumstances of that event. I will try and get the ball rolling with a story that happened to a young lady at my cousin's (note: not DropKick) bachelor party that I had the pleasure of attending.

The party was held at a Chinese restaraunt on Boston's South Shore and we retired to a private function room to celebrate his impending nuptials with a mixed crowd of relatives and his hardcore drinking buddies and fringe lunatics. We scarfed down an extremely mediocre Chinese buffet and awaited the arrival of the "talent" who would be performing a dance routine for us.

The young ladies finally arrived and informed us that their manager couldn't make it, they had forgotten their boom-box and were hungry to boot and asked if they could eat before the show. We had no problem with that and the semi-attractive duo went to work on the leftovers.

They finished and began their dance routine in front of a room filled with drunks in dead silence. It was actually kind of sad and we were all a little uncomfortable at the sight. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.

Finally somebody realized that we needed music of some sort or it was going to be a disaster. "Somebody start singing" was heard from the back the room and my cousin's buddies started an accapella chorus of "Feelings". Things were going downhill fast.

They got worse when after a short and awkward dance number the skinny brunette began to clutch her stomach and requested that: "somebody find a bucket fast!"

We searched frantically for a bucket and failed while her friend tried to hold her up. Fortunately somebody remembered that we had given the groom-to-be a cake and he yelled: "What about the cake box?" The cake box was seperated from the cake and offered to the young lady who proceeded to decorate it in a very loud manner.

It was all we could do to turn away from this bizarre spectacle and try not to gawk. Her chunky redheaded friend finally sheparded her into a small cloakroom and we figured that was all she wrote.

Imagine our surprise when a few moments later she emerged from the closet and undaunted continued on with the show. The best one-liner was DropKick's "She's the Uta Pipping of stripping!" (Boston marathon reference). A real trooper that one.

Of course, the show dissolved in a blaze of glory when a fight broke out between two guests and the Girls panicked and grabbed their clothes and ran -barely dressed -thru the crowded main dining room filled with surprised families choking on their pu-pu platters.

Somehow that story stands out to me even if I wasn't the victim. What a show.

How 'bout you? Anyone have one to share?

Remember it's a long offseason.
  Hawg73 is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2003, 02:34 PM   #2
freak
Registered User
 
freak's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Durham, NH
Posts: 2,255
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $71750


freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.freak is classy.
When: September 2002, Friday night
Where: Gables Apt at UNH
Time: I don't know......

What:

One thing to know about me.....if I say I'm gonna get bombed, I probably won't. It is when I don't plan on drinking that it can get interesting.

It is around 9-10 pm or so, although I'm not really sure. I'm messing around online and watching some sports most likely. I decide to make a Jack & coke. Now, I mix my drinks strong. Cape Codders, Jack & Coke, etc......usually about 50/50.

So I make my drink in a 16oz party cup, and everything is peachy. I finish the first, and then make another one. This is now half a bottle of Jack, which I had bought that afternoon.

I go into the kitchen to preheat the oven to make a frozen pizza, and 4 of my 5 roomies are playing Beruit.

I get caught up watching them play, and down the rest of my J&C pretty quick. They my other roomate, who I've known for years, gets back. The other 4 want us to play them, and we're all for it.

BUT my buddy doesn't drink beeah; calls it p*ss water. So we decide to play with Captain 'n Coke. These are in the party cups, mind you, and the ratio was greatly skewed in the good Capn's favor.

To make a long story short, we allegedly played for over an hour, and I remember taking two drinks.

Much of what happened afterwards, I haven't a clue. I do remember flopping on my bed, telling myself to remember to set my alarm, and then not doing so. :zzz:

I also had a dream that night that I was vomiting. It seemed pretty d@mn real to me......almost painful. Ah well......

So I wake up the next am to my phone at 8:30. It is my buddy over at his girlfriend's, making sure I was up, as I had to be at the football field at 9am. I stagger my way through a shower, get dressed, and then manage to ride my bike over to the field. Three lovely hours in the 90 degree sun later, we get off for lunch, and I head back to my apartment.

I go into my room, and find a trash bag on the floor next to my bed.

Let's just say that my dream seemed pretty real for a reason.

BTW......turns out that my buddy and I downed the entire bottle of Captains.

Last edited by freak; 05-02-2003 at 02:36 PM..
__________________
Go 'Cats, beat Maine!
:Redsox: Believe.....2004.
Another week, another win.
Ummm, yeah......
Wake up the ghosts of the Gahden.
  freak is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2003, 04:10 PM   #3
pookie
Incompetent
 
pookie's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,709
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $134444


pookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrz
My story is somewhat similar to Hawg's.

I believe it was around the '90 or '91 time frame. Our buddy Rusty was getting married in a couple of weeks (Of course his name was Michael, but if you lived in our little slice of S.E. Mass and had red hair, you were either called Red or Rusty).

Rusty's bachelor party was going great! We had the entire downstairs of the Attleboro Elks rented out. We had a big table of sammiches, munchies and other goodies and a cash bar, tended by my father in law. To say we got drunk is not necessary and would be a major understatement.

The entertainment showed up around 9, I guess. She looked kinda funny in her police outfit and what appeared to be very short hair. Unlike Hawg's girl, our stripper did not forget her music and got started right away. Once her police cap came off, her jet black hair went 3/4 of the way down her back. Without going into too much gory detail, this dancer was smoking hot and also took many liberties with her own intimate areas, if you know what I mean.

All the guys were hootin' and hollerin' and having a grand old time. A couple of the "not so nice fellas" took Rusty and the girl in the back room to partake in something. I don't know what it was but somebody mentioned there may have been some drugs back there. I would never condone that type of activity, but this is what some of the guys said..... I really wouldn't know!

They came back looking loopier than ever and the dancing continued. We made Rusty get out in the middle of the floor for is final bachelor dance. She worked him over good, then made him lay on his back on the floor. She then made Rusty's head disappear, if you catch my drift. After about 20 seconds of gyrating happily, she screamed out, jumped up and made the mistake of putting her hands down there. What she drew back was Rusty's dinner. He buttered her buns and entire private region w/ hurl which now covered his whole head! The scene resembled some kind of low budget horror film that made everybody completely uneasy and nauseous.

Rusty spent the rest of the night with half his body in the large plastic trash can. We had to clean up his mess on the floor, the hot babe (now disgustingly stinky) left and all we could do was drink more while we checked on Rusty from time to time to be sure he wasn't aspirating. The nerve of some people..... vomiting on a perfectly good stripper's private parts!

Last edited by pookie; 05-02-2003 at 04:13 PM..
__________________
Pk
  pookie is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2003, 08:53 PM   #4
naclone
Registered User
 
naclone's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York City
Posts: 43
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $10500


naclone is an unknown quantity at this point
I don't have a good vomit story, but i contend that that fraction of a second *immediately* after you finish vomiting - i'm talking still hunched over the bowl with saliva stretching into the bowl, that very instant that your stomach muscles begin to relax from that vice like contraction - is at least the second best feeling in the world. yes, only a fraction of second later you feel like complete and utter ass again, but for that half a second...paradise in the sand.

and while i've never thrown up on a stripper, i have lit one on fire. (by accident)
__________________
"We effen won!" - Tom Brady :Patriots:
  naclone is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2003, 10:51 PM   #5
Steve1
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: not here
Posts: 8,353
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $218685


Steve1 has disabled reputation
Vomit at Foxboro Stadium

Sounds like the title of a campy science fiction thriller, now don't it? So here goes-I was attending a Patriots game with a buddy around, say, 1981 or 2. Sitting pretty far up, on the nice metal benches. Well, the guy to my left was really lit up. And it was cold, so he wore a nice handy pullover hat. He was inebriated to the point of practically passing out. And then-the upchuck, or should I say, downchuck. The poor, stinky drunken fool. Been there, done that (but not at a Pat's game). Luckily, the wind was not blowing in my direction, and he didn't puke on me at all. This was not my buddy, just some dude on my left, with his friend. Well, I didn't tell you, but the dude pucked right on top of his pullover hat! Nice, big red and orange chunks. Well, you asked! It is a story to behold. So the game ends, the totally passed out dude wakes up by his buddy. He gets up, and I say (drum roll, please, orchestra) "Don't forget your hat"(with the vomit onit, sitting, now frozen on the nice concrete). And, by the way, I don't remember who the Pats played, so that tells you something about MY condition!
  Steve1 is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 07:39 AM   #6
naclone
Registered User
 
naclone's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York City
Posts: 43
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $10500


naclone is an unknown quantity at this point
yeah, my girlfriend got vomited on at Foxboro. It was the St. Louis game in November of 2001 (i believe we won the super bowl that year) and we were waaay late and the lines to get patted down were horrendous and while we were waiting our turn a rubber legged young lad in line in fron of us, without even bending over, begins ejecting about a half dozen coors lights and few shots of wild turkey. my girlfriend tried to spin out of the way but her long hair got whipped into the stream.

Luckily my dad is the kind of guy that keeps 4 pounds of napkins in his coat pocket. so we were able to mop her down a good bit. but let it be known, it was not her favorite football experience. i assured her that some day when we lived in boston she'd be able to say that she was thrown up on at Foxboro Stadium and it would go a long way, but that hasn't seemed to provide her much comfort.
__________________
"We effen won!" - Tom Brady :Patriots:
  naclone is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 06:37 PM   #7
pookie
Incompetent
 
pookie's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,709
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $134444


pookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrz
Re: Vomit at Foxboro Stadium

Quote:
Originally posted by Steve1
Sounds like the title of a campy science fiction thriller, now don't it? So here goes-I was attending a Patriots game with a buddy around, say, 1981 or 2. Sitting pretty far up, on the nice metal benches. Well, the guy to my left was really lit up. And it was cold, so he wore a nice handy pullover hat. He was inebriated to the point of practically passing out. And then-the upchuck, or should I say, downchuck. The poor, stinky drunken fool. Been there, done that (but not at a Pat's game). Luckily, the wind was not blowing in my direction, and he didn't puke on me at all. This was not my buddy, just some dude on my left, with his friend. Well, I didn't tell you, but the dude pucked right on top of his pullover hat! Nice, big red and orange chunks. Well, you asked! It is a story to behold. So the game ends, the totally passed out dude wakes up by his buddy. He gets up, and I say (drum roll, please, orchestra) "Don't forget your hat"(with the vomit onit, sitting, now frozen on the nice concrete). And, by the way, I don't remember who the Pats played, so that tells you something about MY condition!
Steve, that is wonderfully disgusting!!!
__________________
Pk
  pookie is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 07:57 PM   #8
bideau
Offering friendly advice
 
bideau's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: With the good
Posts: 25,542
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $890867
My Mood


bideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker room
bideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker roombideau has access to the Patriots' locker room
All right, I'll go for this one.

Last December at Gillette vs. Jets on Sunday night. I woke up that morning with one of those "I'm fighting something off" feelings. Undeterred, I went about my usual meal and bar prep, picked up my neighbor and got to the stadium at 4 PM.

I had made my customary pot of hot chili and my neighbor brought hot sausages. We had a well stocked bar of Capt. Morgan, Margaritas and several variety of beers. After three hours of tailgating, we hopped on in, I got treated to a couple more brews and we just had a good time.

I remember the 1st half very clearly. That's about the last thing I remember. The next thing I recall is my neighbor poking me telling me it's time to go. Totally confused, I asked if the game was over. It was early in the 4th quarter. "Why are we leaving", I asked. "Take a look at yourself" was the reply. My shirt, pants and shoes were covered with vomit. The young boy sitting next to me was giving me a horrified look. My neighbor helped me out to the car. I handed him my keys and we went home.

The next day, I was in bed most of the day with a fever and hangover. I was getting the double effects of the flu and too much hot food and liqour.

The following Sunday, I sheepishly went to my seat and just tried to avoid eye contact with anyone. The guy who sits behind me showed up and dropped a rain poncho on my lap and we all had a great laugh over it.
  bideau is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2003, 10:08 PM   #9
Peg
Registered User
 
Peg's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: the right of center in Vermont
Posts: 2,617
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $13000
My Mood


Peg is on a distinguished roadPeg is on a distinguished road
Well, Sweetie... :)

Quote:
Originally posted by bideau

...and we all had a great laugh over it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

...Been there, done that... Good for you, to be able to admit to that here... You are a great fan, Bideau, and sometimes things just happen out there... Rock on, my fellow fan, Rock on!!...
__________________
Rock on, my fellow Pats fans! -Peg
  Peg is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2003, 03:30 PM   #10
Hawg73
Mediocre with flashes of brilliance
 
Hawg73's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Gumdrop house on Lollipop Ln.
Posts: 20,273
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $575933
My Mood


Hawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousy
Hawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousyHawg73 makes Greek statues weep in jealousy
Very interesting. I'm not sure exactly where you were going with that, but it was a pretty amusing read.

It is nice to know that PatriotsPlanet can be a positive force in the lives of young people.
  Hawg73 is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2003, 04:13 PM   #11
pookie
Incompetent
 
pookie's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,709
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $134444


pookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrz
Re: This just in from an anonymous poster

Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice

Formerly a 5-7" natural blonde co-ed at Wheaton college studying fashion merchandising, I have breasts that are amazingly perky (despite being an E cup).
Very interesting..... I've never seen E cup and perky in the same sentence before!
__________________
Pk
  pookie is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2003, 08:20 PM   #12
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $
My Mood


Re: This just in from an anonymous poster

Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
So, I strapped on my thong, dusted off my Hooters t-shirt and slipped into my trademark 4.5" stilleto pumps and headed over to the men's bathroom at Foxboro right between sections A151-200 and B-1.

OH MY GAWWWD. As soon as I got in that men's room, I knew it wasn't going to be just any old party. There were all these gray-haired, ing, incontinent, semi-coherent Pats fans with barfed-up chili, potato skins and captain Morgan streaming down their faces. I found one guy who was relatively clean, jumped on top and started my usual bump and grind right on his lap.


Alice, I'm glad you posted that letter from the stripper's perspective. Of all the stripper-vomit stories that I have been privy to this one really stands out. I was starting to suspect that perhaps this was another of those "Penthouse Letters" stripper-vomit threads. I'm relieved to find out that I can still believe everything I hear.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2003, 01:47 AM   #13
Phobia
Future exwife below
 
Phobia's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 299
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $14530


Phobia is an unknown quantity at this point
This thread is incredibly disappointing without graphics.

  Phobia is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2003, 08:01 AM   #14
Ballbustah
Registered User
 
Ballbustah's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,257
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $10000


Ballbustah is an unknown quantity at this point
OK.....

Circa 1979 Frankfurt Germany.
I was in the Army. It was a friday night. Our room was partying as usual. For some unknown reason I passed on the fine German beer that evening to partake in cheap wine. Our room, that slept 4 soldiers, was on the 1st floor with a window facing the exit doors of the local kasern movie theater. At some point of the evening I felt the urge to vomit. Since there was no bathroom close by I immeadiately went to the window leaned out and started heaving violently. As I was finishing up I looked up and saw an audience of about 20 horrified people who had stopped dead in their tracks exiting the movie theater. Very embarrassing.

Circa 1984
I was traveling in a car with 4 guys. We had been drinking and playing golf all afternoon. I was sitting in the back seat behind the driver.... Suddenly out of no where the guy sitting in the front passenger seat swivels his head completely around and pukes on the guy sitting next to me. I mean he really hosed the guy with puke. He had puke splattered on the inside of his glasses even. I immeadiatly upon looking at him puked all over myself. The car pulled to the side of the road... everyone got out and was either heaving or on the verge of heaving.
__________________
Beer & Football, Football & Beer.
  Ballbustah is offline Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2003, 08:28 AM   #15
pookie
Incompetent
 
pookie's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,709
Posting Frequency


Casino cash: $134444


pookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrzpookie is teh r0xXOrz
Quote:
Originally posted by Phobia
This thread is incredibly disappointing without graphics.

If you have a weak stomach, do not go to google.com and search for "vomit pictures". Yuk. This is mild.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg pumpkin.jpg (36.8 KB, 238 views)
__________________
Pk
  pookie is offline Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Template-Modifications by TMS
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Patriots Planet is not affiliated with the NFL or with the New England Patriots. The views and opinions on this forum do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the owners and/or operators of this forum and website.