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Old 06-10-2005, 12:55 PM   #91
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Quote:
Originally posted by spiderman
It's true. Anytime I've acted overly nice towards women I've been rejected.

Anytime I've acted arrogant or aloof, the opposite has been the case.
I think it's true that an awful lot of women are attracted to confident, dominent men (although a lot of those women are not compatible with that type of guy). But remember, not all women are attracted to a-holes, but you do need to have a certain amount of confidence to get into the game.

Another thing is, don't get too attracted to a girl too quickly (granted, that's easier said than done once the blood leaves the brain for "elsewhere"). Don't come on too strong (i.e. often times, a single rose is better than a dozen).

The key thing, is to make sure that you are both trying to make the budding relationship work, and if not, just move on and try again with someone else.
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Old 06-10-2005, 12:56 PM   #92
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtywater
Bideau,

It sounds to me that you raised a great, well-adjusted young woman. Though you can't be there to pick her up anymore, you gave her the tools to know what and how to do the right thing.

Kudos.
Thanks for the kind words, DW.

As parents, we all do the best we can to lay a solid, moral foundation. At some point, we have to trust that they've learned something and just cross our fingers. Ultimately, the final decisions rest with them and we hope that they learn from their inevitable mistakes.

How come we didn't listen to our parents when they used to say, "Wait until you're a parent someday, then you'll understand".
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:08 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtywater
...And UT, this thread is a healthy debate, no need to the lock.
So far, yes.

I go to lunch and I am 3 pages behind....jeez.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:11 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally posted by Benign Despot
Interesting thread, I wanted to respond to something slightly off topic but also in a way related.

I think it was Alice who said women would rather bed a gentleman than a pig. In my experience this may nat actually be the case.

Back in my club hopping days I noticed a phenomenon which to this day still don't understand.

There were guys in the clubs how could have been wearing a tattoo across their forheads saying "I am a self-centered, concieted asshat who is only here to get in your pants", and said guys had women dripping off them.

On more than one occasion I was told I was just too nice.

So, can any of our female posters enlighten me on this?
Interesting question. Here's my take.

I'm personally attracted to a man who has an "edge." I don't want to date Mr. Rogers. At the same time, I don't want to be leered at and seen as a screw-toy.

There is plenty of grey area between those two extremes.

A person who is overly accommodating can sometimes seem either week or smarmy and it's not attractive.

At the same time, I've met many gentlemen and ladies who have a strong sense of self, strong boundaries and are never overly accommodating. In fact, those qualities tend to go together.

They are always extremely attractive people. No matter their physical appearance.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:15 PM   #95
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I did not read all the posts but I'll drop my latest $.02 worth.

So my advice to fusion is what my mom always told me growing up. Expect nothing (in fusion's case:booty) and never be disappointed. I think Hawg hit it on the head, he should have paid the extra $35 and tried to get lucky with her at a later date. He is outta luck now! Just my thoughts.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:20 PM   #96
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Quote:
Originally posted by mgoblue101415
And maybe I don't have a problem with fusion walking out because I've known a few people who have done it. Some have paid for the entire bill and called it a night, but some have simply apologized, stated what a disaster the evening is, laid down their portion of the bill and walked out. Isn't it better to have a person do that rather than having that person attempt to slit their wrists with a butter knife in order to end the misery they're experiencing?

The scenario you desribe to me up there is different...really different... than what Fusion describes doing.

In fact, I have a whole lot of respect for someone who could be that forthright and then act accordingly. That's decent enough. It may be a little too bald-faced for some people, but it's honest.

What Fusion is describing is a man who expects sex for money, his disappointment over not getting what he wanted and how he behaved afterward.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:26 PM   #97
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
Again...men who view and talk about women in the way that you and Fusion seem to are usually the dumb clucks who are attracted and attract those same women. This said, they usually fit your desired profile to a T and meet your expectations perfectly.
Well, there goes that respect thing I spoke of earlier. You don't know me from a f**king hole in the wall, so don't pretend to.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:30 PM   #98
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Re: OT: Renegged on paying the tab for my lunch date yesterday. (long post)

Some how I figure there has to be another side to the story. And since the young lady isn't here to defend herself, I'll state her side of the story.

Quote:
It's only been a week since My Boyfriend got arrested for indecent assult. Today's his trail and his 2 daughter keep me up all night. I'm Tired and hungry, and want nothing more than to go back to bed, but I can't. I made a promise to this cute guy I met outside the Gym last week while changing a falt tire on my Geo Metro.
He talked so much I would have said anything to get rid of him just so I could get back on with my day.

Surfice it to say, All was not going well. I was surprized when he asked me what my favorite resturant was. and even more so when he again offered to pay. This guys a sap I told myself. Proberly only wants to get laid. Something I just don't have the time for nowadays. But if he wants to pay, Who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth.

We arrive at Red Lobster, and All I can think about is how I'm going to have to raise Yolanda and Vivian if my boyfriend gets convited.

By the time the waiter arrives all I can think about is throwing back a couple of stiff ones. I give him a meaningful look, But he seems more concerned with my cleavage then with me, so I order a frozen peach margarita with flavored salt around the rim. I don't even notice that all he orded was a coke.

Some how, It's nice to know that some people aren't as burderned by life as others.

I try and make small talk with this guy, but the more he yaks the more I realize He's only out for one thing. And I just ain't in the mood, suger.

When the waiter comes back, I enquire about several items on the menu, gaugeing my dates response. But he's still more preocipied with my bust and dosen't make a move, quiver, or raise an Eyebrow. Knowing how hungrey I was and knowing I still had two small mouths to feed after school, I ordered the quesadillas, a bowl of clam chowder and, the New England platter. I'm not really a dessert person, But that fried Cheesecake looked awfully good.

He gets the Aztec Chicken.

!??

Does this guy eat at these types of resturants all the time? I haen't been out to a place like this since before I met, D.J. QuadKiller. Yolanda's daddie
I decide to order another Margaritta to let him know what I'm all about.

I try and let him know what is going on with my life, But as the night goes on, He seems less and less Interested.

I Ask for box so I could take home my leftovers and I noticed his sigh and smirk. what a concerted Jerk this guy is turning out to be. If he had a probelm with what I was ordering, He should have let his feeling be known BEFORE I ordered it, Not after.

I have no idea what the bill came to, And as I Finish my second margarita he has become incredibly annoying to converse with. All semblance of normal, worthwhile conversation went where that Aztec Chicken will end up once they've travelled through this Dickwad's digestive system.

Then he gets really stupid and says: "I've had a great time with you. Perhaps you'd like to go to your place and spend some more time together, talking and getting to know each other," What nerve! I've known since this guy picked me up that all he wanted was to get inside my size 0 thong, BUT NOW he Suggests going back to MY place?!?!?

That was the last straw, "I have to pick up my ex-boyfriend from the court house in an hour. His Momma dropped him off, but I'm his only ride back." I lie.

Game over.


I figure this guy's out the door at this point. And I'm going to have do the same thing I did last time I went out for dinner. Cry until the manager lets me go.

I watch as he walks around back and gets in his car, and leaves and the tears start falling. Soon now my getaway will be complete, both literally and figuratively.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:31 PM   #99
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Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.
Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
The scenario you desribe to me up there is different...really different... than what Fusion describes doing.

In fact, I have a whole lot of respect for someone who could be that forthright and then act accordingly. That's decent enough. It may be a little too bald-faced for some people, but it's honest.

What Fusion is describing is a man who expects sex for money, his disappointment over not getting what he wanted and how he behaved afterward.
Ah, I think I now see the main difference. I read it as in "he is a young guy guy, and most guys are looking to get laid."

You read it as, "He wanted to trade the dinner for action."

Since he yet to post a follow up, I'll reserve judgement, but if it went down as you comprehended it, then yes, I don't agree with him.

That being said, 2 wrongs (his sexual assumptions and her I'll order the menu) don't make a right.

Anyway, good chat.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:34 PM   #100
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Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.Dirtywater has a great personality, really.
Quote:
Originally posted by Spinal Tap
Well, there goes that respect thing I spoke of earlier. You don't know me from a f**king hole in the wall, so don't pretend to.
I agree with your overall sentiment here, though without the harsh words. You can't judge someone completely because of a post in an online forum. There is a lot more to a person than how they felt when they typed 3 or 4 sentences.

Sometimes it is hard to convey your thoughts well too in a post.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:35 PM   #101
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Re: Re: OT: Renegged on paying the tab for my lunch date yesterday. (long post)

Quote:
Originally posted by Supkem
Some how I figure there has to be another side to the story. And since the young lady isn't here to defend herself, I'll state her side of the story.
Holy sh1t. Great post Sup. i have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:37 PM   #102
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtywater
Since he yet to post a follow up, I'll reserve judgment, but if it went down as you comprehended it, then yes, I don't agree with him.
After the lambasting he has received in here, I would be surprised to see him post a follow-up. It would be nice, because a lot of people are making a lot of assumptions based on one short post on a message board.

I am sure he thought the responses would be much lighter than this.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:37 PM   #103
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Quote:
Originally posted by PatsFanDan

And a few other random thoughts from the thread...

Are there really women who will go out with a guy just because they are afraid to tell him they are not interested? Please ladies, don't waste both of our times.

Yes, there are, sadly. Some of that is the result of being young and not self-confident and having a hard time setting boundaries.

This is a fairly common problem for women to have. Especially young women. Women have been taught, culturally, to communicate in very indirect ways. It's unfortunate. At the same time, conventionally, a lot of men don't like women to be speak their minds. To be forthright, etc. This explains the old line, "Why can't he take a hint?" and "You can never tell what a woman is thinking. They don't know their own minds" Well, often women do. But they are often not comfortable speaking their minds.

Obviuosly this is not the case with women on this board. ;)

This really unfortunate situation is partly a corrollary to very conventional attitudes about gender roles, the right of a woman to be self-determining and have control over her own body. And it
goes hand-in-hand with the kinds of attitudes that both Fusion and Spinal Tap articulate.

This is why I say...men like that attract women like that. Fusion's case is a perfect example.

So, I would suggest to any man, that if he wants to attract a lady, he should act like a gentleman. Not like a patsy. But a gentleman.

And if a man is curious about when it's time to stop acting like a gentleman, I would suggest waiting until a woman makes it entirely clear that she has no intention of continuing to act like a lady.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:41 PM   #104
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Quote:
Originally posted by Spinal Tap
Well, there goes that respect thing I spoke of earlier. You don't know me from a f**king hole in the wall, so don't pretend to.
I read a lot of your posts. And I see your avatar.

And again...go back and read how you talk about women.

I'm telling you the strong impression you give me. And whether I'm right or wrong in that impression -- if I meet a man who gives me that impression, I move quickly in the opposite direction.
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Old 06-10-2005, 01:42 PM   #105
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dirtywater
Ah, I think I now see the main difference. I read it as in "he is a young guy guy, and most guys are looking to get laid."

That's the way I read it.

He took her to lunch and was hoping to get some, but wasn't taking her to lunch only so he could get some. When she turned out to be more than he could bear he bolted. Wrong? Yes, but nothing I'd drag him through the streets for. I mean, maybe he was having visions of shoving her face into the food in her doggie bag and smothering her to death just to get her to shut up. Maybe he felt the only way to avoid doing something that would land him with her ex-boyfriend in court was to get out of there as quickly as possible. Or maybe he's just an immature young guy, which is all redundant, I know. ;)
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