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Old 02-13-2006, 05:37 PM   #1
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OT - Mormon Scum!

So my doorbell just rang and my dog Shadow starts barking like a mofo (good girl). I go open it and there they are with their white shirts, backpacks, and name tags. I barely opened the door halfway and recognize em for what they are and blurt out "Mormons, forget it, see ya" and start closing the door when one of em asks "do you know anyone in the neighborhood who can use an uplifting message maybe?" This hits me with the kind of laughter that shoots soda out your nose. Somehow I managed to get out "no" as I closed the door but I'm sure that wont stop em.

Was that mean?
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Same as the '72 Dolphins. Now, it has become a tired and silly ritual through the years watching these graying and balding men gather each year to pop champagne corks whenever the last unbeaten team falls, and that sad clinging to the past diminishes what they did, and it if there is one thing even Pats-haters can agree on, it's this: a 19-0 Pats team makes that annual ritual disappear, mercifully, forever.

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Old 02-13-2006, 05:40 PM   #2
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No, they're lucky ya didn't shot em.....
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Old 02-13-2006, 05:42 PM   #3
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Speaking as a (supposed to be) Mormon, nah, they're used to it.
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Old 02-13-2006, 05:42 PM   #4
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Are you sure you aren't thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses?
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Old 02-13-2006, 05:47 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by TrueBeliever
Are you sure you aren't thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses?
No, in my experience the difference there is that JWs keep coming back or keep knocking. Mormon's are supposed to take no for an answer. If they don't they're being naughty and shall be smitten like the scumbags they are.
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Old 02-13-2006, 05:54 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by TrueBeliever
Are you sure you aren't thinking of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Nope you'd know Mormons if you seen em.

Here's a terrible story that ensures me a nice place in Hell. When I was 19 I didn't usually have access to a car and generally had to walk to the Liquor Store (the one with the people I had duped into thinking I was 23). A couple of (pretty sure they were Hatian) Jehovas witnesses canvassed the neighborhood one day and I feigned interest (probably cause I was drunk and acting stupid at the time.) The next week or so they showed up and I started "juicing them for rides" whenever they came around. I always talked to em for about 10 minutes and then said hey I need to go somewhere and had em drop me off at the T station which was right next to the Liquor Store.

After a while (I got a car) I just stopped answering the door.

See you all in Hell!
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Same as the '72 Dolphins. Now, it has become a tired and silly ritual through the years watching these graying and balding men gather each year to pop champagne corks whenever the last unbeaten team falls, and that sad clinging to the past diminishes what they did, and it if there is one thing even Pats-haters can agree on, it's this: a 19-0 Pats team makes that annual ritual disappear, mercifully, forever.

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Old 02-13-2006, 05:55 PM   #7
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Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

Quote:
Originally posted by Alcoholic9
Was that mean?
Yes. The very least you could have done would have been to give them the name and address of someone you don't like.

BTW, were any of them hot babes? I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years. Thus far, my argument of 50% less house work hasn't been very persuasive.
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:03 PM   #8
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Re: Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

Quote:
Originally posted by dchester
Yes. The very least you could have done would have been to give them the name and address of someone you don't like.

BTW, were any of them hot babes? I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years. Thus far, my argument of 50% less house work hasn't been very persuasive.
Nah two guys as usual. I think one time back in Boston I must have talked to a couple of em that came to my house because a few days later they sent the chix in. Let me tell you, these girls will want to make you convert. If you haven't noticed, the male mormons who canvas are generally young (30 and under) attractive white guys. Never once have I seen an old, fat, hispanic, or black mormon come pimp their shit at my door. Well you get the picture, the chix were beautiful.

I pissed em off though by asking them if they actually believed they would be Gods one day. They never came back. :(
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Same as the '72 Dolphins. Now, it has become a tired and silly ritual through the years watching these graying and balding men gather each year to pop champagne corks whenever the last unbeaten team falls, and that sad clinging to the past diminishes what they did, and it if there is one thing even Pats-haters can agree on, it's this: a 19-0 Pats team makes that annual ritual disappear, mercifully, forever.

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Old 02-13-2006, 06:05 PM   #9
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Nah... It wasn't mean. When I was a teenager, I Had 'em come around one day, and I answer the door - black hair down almost to my waist, Black Sabbath t-shirt on, etc... invited them in, and I offered them lemonade, and some ummmm brownies I had... special brownies. VERY special brownies that I made since the folks were outta town for a few days.

Those two damn near ate the entire plate of em. After a while, they seemed to forget why they were there, and they ended up leaving...


They never did come back. Odd.
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:05 PM   #10
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Mormons in Vegas huh? That's like Albino's at the beach. Very rare.
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:06 PM   #11
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I asked because I have never heard of Mormons going door-to-door like that. Course where I live there are no Mormons that I know of, either.

Here's one sure way to get under their skin - the next time they come to the door, say, "Oh cool, I'll join if that means I can be married to five broads at once!"
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:08 PM   #12
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Re: Re: OT - Mormon Scum!

Quote:
Originally posted by dchester
I've been trying to talk my wife into converting to Mormon for years.

I considered converting to Mormonism ( is that how it's referred to? ) about 8 or 9 years ago.

But then Steve Young went and got married so there was no point to consider it anymore. :(
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:11 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by TrueBeliever
I asked because I have never heard of Mormons going door-to-door like that. Course where I live there are no Mormons that I know of, either.

Here's one sure way to get under their skin - the next time they come to the door, say, "Oh cool, I'll join if that means I can be married to five broads at once!"
We had both Mormons AND JWs come around. It was always JWs for the longest time, then we had the Mormons come once. I hadn't heard of it either. The only thing I knew about Mormons is that they had/have incredible genealogy resources. That seems to be their one redeeming quality. (My wife's family has some mormons in it, and they are not very nice people, so I've never gotten to know any well enough to say anything else )
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:14 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Claremonster
The only thing I knew about Mormons is that they had/have incredible genealogy resources. That seems to be their one redeeming quality.
Yeah, it's important to know which Osmond you descended from.
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Old 02-13-2006, 06:21 PM   #15
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Quote:
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Yeah, it's important to know which Osmond you descended from.

Hahahahahaha
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