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Old 07-10-2003, 10:38 AM   #16
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And you thought you were having a bad day...

Woman swallows cockroach and fork

By Associated Press, 7/10/2003

JERUSALEM -- A surgeon in Israel says it's the first time he's ever run across something as bizarre as this.

He operated this week on a woman after she had swallowed a cockroach -- and a fork.

The woman was apparently cleaning her home when a winged cockroach jumped into her mouth. When she tried to scoop it out with a fork, she swallowed the fork as well.

An X-ray showed the fork, lodged sideways in her stomach.

The surgeon was able to remove the fork but the cockroach had already been digested.
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:27 PM   #17
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Re: And you thought you were having a bad day...

[QUOTE]Originally posted by bideau
[B]Woman swallows cockroach and fork

Glad to see they are using forks...


-----------------------------------
If anyone gets a chance, the sausage incident is on video on ESPN. I expected it to be more minor than it was, he really took a good cut.
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Old 07-10-2003, 03:31 PM   #18
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Old 07-10-2003, 06:45 PM   #19
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That friggin' Simon should be bounced for at least a week for that stupid manuever.

Nobody is saying that he was purposely trying to hurt the poor girl, but you HAVE to have more sense that to hit a mascot with a bat not knowing if the area you are whacking is padded or not.

He should be arrested for assault and Battery. Get it?
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Old 07-11-2003, 04:20 PM   #20
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Re: And you thought you were having a bad day...

Quote:
Originally posted by bideau
Woman swallows cockroach and fork

By Associated Press, 7/10/2003

JERUSALEM -- A surgeon in Israel says it's the first time he's ever run across something as bizarre as this.

He operated this week on a woman after she had swallowed a cockroach -- and a fork.

The woman was apparently cleaning her home when a winged cockroach jumped into her mouth. When she tried to scoop it out with a fork, she swallowed the fork as well.

An X-ray showed the fork, lodged sideways in her stomach.

The surgeon was able to remove the fork but the cockroach had already been digested.
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Old 07-15-2003, 10:37 AM   #21
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It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it

7/15/2003

SYDNEY (Reuters) -- Returning to work took on an unexpected meaning for an unemployed Australian man when the government's job network told him to apply to an agency looking for female escorts.

The Australian Broadcasting Corp said an employment agency contracted by the government to help the unemployed find work matched the man to two advertisements seeking "Ladies of all Ages".

"I don't think the government should be expecting job seekers to apply for a job as a prostitute," the man, who asked to be identified only as Tom, told the ABC Tuesday.

The ABC said the advertisements had been included in Tom's list of possible options by mistake.

Prostitution is legal in some parts of Australia but strictly licensed.
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Old 07-17-2003, 11:12 AM   #22
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Mother Kept Mummified Daughter for Aliens

ALMATY (Reuters) - A distraught Kazakh mother kept her daughter's mummified corpse in her apartment for three years hoping she would be resurrected by aliens, police said on Thursday.

Police spokeswoman Nina Tsys told Reuters by telephone from the town of Pavlodar in northern Kazakhstan that Olga, 27, was believed to have died from an autoimmune disorder after her mother failed -- or declined -- to call for medical help.

She said Olga's cousin, worried by her long absence, had repeatedly tried to see her, but the mother would always refuse to let him in under various pretexts. Finally police broke in and made the gruesome discovery.

"We believe death was from natural causes, although due to the long time that had passed we can't be absolutely sure," Tsys said. "At least we found no signs of vandalism."

Popular Kazakh daily newspaper Vremya carried a picture of the mummified body, with withered limbs and parched skin, lying on a plain bed in the flat in this industrial town.

Vremya suggested the mother -- a former nurse -- could have known how to treat the body to preserve it.

Tsys said the mother appeared to have been influenced by a sect preaching "cosmology" that promised resurrection of her child with the help of a "third cosmic eye" or by aliens.

She said the mother was undergoing medical checks at a psychiatric clinic. Her daughter's remains had been given a proper burial.
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Old 07-17-2003, 11:37 AM   #23
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The peeing dumbass

A Houston man was killed Friday night when he fell out of a
pickup on the Southwest Freeway and was run over by it
and other vehicles, police said.

The man, identified as William Thayer, 23, was riding
in a passenger seat in a Ford pickup when he opened
the door to urinate on the freeway while the vehicle
was moving at freeway speed, police said.
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Old 07-17-2003, 02:24 PM   #24
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Thats called thinning the herd lest his genes make it to the next generation...
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Old 07-24-2003, 12:35 AM   #25
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http://in.news.yahoo.com/030624/43/25eim.html

-------
Tuesday June 24, 12:35 PM

'Fly boy' continues to suffer as doctors struggle
By Indo-Asian News Service

Kolkata, June 24 (IANS) A 13-year-old boy whose bizarre ailment has a fly-like insect emerging out of him is far from being cured as doctors struggle to detect the source of the parasite.

The fully-grown flies, as doctors described the parasites, have been emerging out of Chandan Goswami's genitals and flying off for more than two weeks now.

Chandan, now receiving treatment at a state-run hospital in West Bengal's Burdwan district, is said to be suffering from a condition called myiasis, a disease seen mostly in Central and Latin America.

In myiasis, the larvae of a type of fly invade a human or animal body, dead or alive. The deposited eggs can then enter the body through pores, the mucous membrane or even the mouth. The hatched larvae then emerge out the host's skin and pupate.

However, in Chandan's case, whole flies complete with wings are emerging out of his body and flying off.

"This is very, very rare. We are trying to find out how the fly entered the boy's body," says Sudhansu Pan, the surgeon attending Chandan.

Doctors carried out a cystoscopy to clear the boy's urinary tract, but the treatment has failed because two more flies emerged out of his penis on Monday.

Doctors admitted they have not been able to identify where the parasite deposit lay inside Chandan's body.

Health authorities have formed a medical board of seven doctors to treat Chandan. Doctors were also "coordinating" with physicians abroad who have experience in dealing with myiasis.

In myiasis, the maggots usually are found underneath the skin and are removed by minor surgery. But whole flies emerging out of a human body is rare, doctors said.

Chandan told doctors he first felt pain in his abdomen almost a month ago. And then he saw the flies intermittently coming out of his penis.

He told his parents, but they didn't initially believe him. Earlier this month, they saw the strange occurrence and took their son to Burdwan hospital, where doctors too were stunned to see the rare case.
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Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. -- Hellen Keller

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Interesting premise, DkM. I felt though, that I had to edit it for now until we can decide if we really want that kind of graphic description of child porn and bestiality on the site. -- Undertaker #59
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Old 07-24-2003, 12:42 AM   #26
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Quote:
And then he saw the flies intermittently coming out of his penis.
Say, wasn't that Bill Clinton's problem? No wait, it was the other way around, wasn't it?

;)

In a related story, Indian health officials have noted an alarming increase in the number of Catholic priests requiring treatment after accidently ingesting insects. More details as they become available....

Last edited by dropKickMurphy; 07-24-2003 at 05:03 PM..
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Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. -- Hellen Keller

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Interesting premise, DkM. I felt though, that I had to edit it for now until we can decide if we really want that kind of graphic description of child porn and bestiality on the site. -- Undertaker #59
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Old 07-25-2003, 12:16 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by FallingAlice
Are you sure you wouldn't like to submit this to the bad writing contest?
Do we have a category for "Supposedly legitimate news articles?"

I'm not sure exactly how the name of that disease is pronounced, but you've got to love this sentence from the article:
Doctors were also "coordinating" with physicians abroad who have experience in dealing with myiasis.

Sounds like they're talking about proctologists.
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Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. -- Hellen Keller

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Interesting premise, DkM. I felt though, that I had to edit it for now until we can decide if we really want that kind of graphic description of child porn and bestiality on the site. -- Undertaker #59
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Old 07-25-2003, 07:31 AM   #28
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Hey, don't knck it until you try it! :p
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Old 07-31-2003, 09:09 AM   #29
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Homeland Security hard at work

LILBURN, Ga. A post office and surrounding area were evacuated after a mail carrier came across a suspicious, vibrating package. X-rays soon revealed the box to be X-rated.

U.S. Postal Service spokesman Michael Miles said the package aroused suspicion from a carrier and his supervisor, who took the priority-listed mail into the parking lot and called police.

The Gwinnett County bomb squad, U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Gwinnett County Fire Department evacuated the building and the parking lot Wednesday and shut down a nearby street.

A high-tech robot was sent in to pick up the package and X-ray it. The X-ray showed wires and objects, Miles said. When it was opened, authorities found adult toys, including a vibrator and massage oil.

The resident to whom the package was addressed will be notified of what happened, but will not be prosecuted.

"Since these are all legal items, we won't be doing any follow-up investigation," police spokesman Cpl. Dan Huggins said.
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:25 AM   #30
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How about a feel good story

Dog survives trip through death chamber
By Associated Press, 8/7/2003

ST. LOUIS -- Cast into a city gas chamber to be euthanized with other unwanted or unclaimed dogs, it appeared the roughly year-old Basenji mix had simply run out of luck -- and time.

But this canine had other ideas.

When the death chamber's door swung open Monday, the dog now dubbed Quentin -- for California's forbidding San Quentin State Prison -- stood very much alive, his tail and tongue wagging.

Animal-control supervisor Rosemary Ficken had never seen such a survivor, and she didn't have the nerve to slam the door shut again.

This 30-pound animal, she believed, beat the odds and should live on.

"She told me, 'Please, take him. I don't have the heart to put him back in there and re-gas him,"' said Randy Grim, founder and head of Stray Rescue of St. Louis, the charitable shelter that took in the dog before taking the animal's story public.

Quentin's ordeal was played and replayed Wednesday on local TV stations, drawing people looking to adopt him.

"To me, it's a miracle or divine intervention," Grim said. "I can't help but think he's here to serve a higher purpose. This case blew me away. This is amazing."

On Wednesday, Quentin was a little malnourished but "in very good condition," Grim said. He was being checked for heartworm and other maladies by a veterinarian.

"You can tell he's really digging it," Grim said. "He has a bed, love, food and water."
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