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Old 06-04-2003, 09:33 AM   #1
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Woman Cited for Riding Train Topless

HOQUIAM, Wash. - A Hoquiam woman was cited for assault, trespassing and resisting arrest after she was discovered half-naked hanging upside down from a train ladder, police said Tuesday.



Robin Bishop, 31, was taken into custody about 2:30 p.m. Monday, after an engineer on a Puget Sound & Pacific train discovered a woman hanging from the rear of the train as it approached a bridge here.


"She was wearing jeans and nothing else," Hoquiam police Lt. Mike Whittaker told The Daily World of Aberdeen. "She was hanging upside down, topless, from a moving train."


Police Capt. Jim Maloney said engineers stopped the train, which had only four or five cars, and approached the woman. She yelled at them and struck one with a rock before climbing to the roof of the car.


"The officers thought she might have been under the influence of alcohol ...," Maloney said.


Police don't know how the woman got onto the train.


The woman's feet were bloodied, apparently cut on rocks as she walked along the tracks, police said.

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Old 06-04-2003, 09:39 AM   #2
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Barry Manilow Breaks Nose by Hitting Wall

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. - Barry Manilow is trying to get the feeling again after walking into a wall in his bedroom and breaking his nose.


But the singer, who's famous for his monstrous proboscis, is maintaining his typical self-deprecating humor about the injury.


"I veered to the left instead of the right and slammed right into the wall," Manilow said. "I may have to have my nose fixed and, with this nose, it's going to require major surgery."


The 56-year-old singer said Tuesday that he'd returned to his Palm Springs home after spending two weeks in Malibu working on longtime friend Bette Midler's upcoming Rosemary Clooney tribute album.


In the middle of the night, he awoke disoriented and walked into a wall. He passed out for four hours after the accident but was OK, his manager said.


Manilow, whose hits include "Copacabana," "Mandy" and "Tryin' to Get the Feeling Again," said he'll seek a doctor's advice about whether to have surgery.
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Old 06-04-2003, 10:25 AM   #3
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Police officer mistaken for stripper at bachelorette party

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- A police officer dispatched to a bachelorette party because of a noise complaint was mistaken for the entertainment.

Partygoers thought Police Officer Jamie Hope was a stripper, and didn't realize he was legitimate until he drove away with the bride-to-be in handcuffs.

"When he was taking her to his car, everyone thought he was the stripper and everyone said, 'OK, the warning has gone far enough. Are you going to start stripping?"' Police Sgt. Keith Kameg said.

The 30-year-old Hope, a married, six-year veteran of the force, had issued a noise warning, and as part of procedure, also ran a warrants check on the bride-to-be. That's when he found that the 24-year-old woman had an outstanding warrant for a violation of probation involving an open-container citation.

Court records show she had failed to pay $11. Her bond was set at $11, and she was released.

Said Hope: "Her friends, they were saying, 'I'm sure he's joking.' I guess she was waiting for somebody to tell her the joke was over. I don't think it hit home until we were actually in the car."
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Old 06-04-2003, 10:50 AM   #4
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U59.... Great idea on this weird news thread. Some funny stuff. Would you mind if I renamed this thread something like "News of the Weird"? We'd probably get some seriously funny posts. Bideau has already dug up a funny one as well.
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Old 06-04-2003, 11:03 AM   #5
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Not at all...I thought of the same thing when I found that Barry Manilow article...good idea.
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Old 06-04-2003, 02:43 PM   #6
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Dumbass and the 911 call

A dramatic story over the weekend has taken a bizarre twist. A woman who was reunited with her three month old baby after claiming her car was stolen may soon face charges herself. Police say she made the whole thing up to cover up her own misdeeds.

Police say Melinda Kelly had told them her car was stolen while she was inside a Stewarts Shop in Scotia and inside the car was her baby son. Police immediately began a seach for the missing baby. He was found a short while later, unharmed.

Now, Kelly is allegedly telling police that the car and her son were never really missing, that she forgot where she parked the car. It seems that Kelly was allegedly burglarizing a home in Glenville and had parked the car a distance away from the home.

When she was leaving the house, Kelly says she forgot where she had parked the car. So, she called 911, telling police that someone had stolen her car.

An additional bizarre twist to the story, while Kelly was allegedly burglarizing the Glenville home, her wallet was stolen from her unlocked car.

Kelly is now facing charges of filing a false report and child endangerment in Scotia and could be facing burglary charges in Glenville.
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Old 06-05-2003, 08:58 AM   #7
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NAPAVINE, Wash. -- Misspelled words on a bomb threat in Napavine led to the arrest of a 19-year-old known for his poor spelling.

The man worked as a maintenance man at a gas station and was about to get fired after a heated argument with co-workers.

A device that looked like a bomb was found in a closet at the station. It had a note that said "The bom will bloe if you touch it."

Police were told the maintenance man often misspelled words.
Lewis County Prosecutor Jeremy Randolph says Christopher Yarborough is being charged with "malicious placement of an imitation explosive device."
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Old 06-05-2003, 09:58 AM   #8
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Judge says nizzle-shizzling not an offence

Judge says nizzle-shizzling not an offence

LONDON (Reuters) - A judge has ruled that the lyrics of a rap record urging the listener to "shizzle my nizzle" and referring to a "mish mish man" did not constitute an offence.



Presiding in the case of UK rap artist Andrew Alcee against the Heartless Crew, High Court Judge Lewison ruled that not only were the lyrics not necessarily offensive but that they may as well have been in a foreign language.


Alcee is claiming that a remix by Heartless Crew of the Ant'ill Mob's 2001 garage hit "Burnin" constituted "derogatory treatment" of his copyright because the lyrics contained references to violence and drugs.


"This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as "mish mish man" and "shizzle my nizzle", the judge said.


Dismissing the claim, he added that despite extensive surfing of the Internet in search of illumination, he had been unable to establish whether the words complained of in the rap were actually references to violence and drugs.


"Some definitions carried sexual connotations. The most popular definitions were definitions of the phrase "fo' shizzle my nizzle" and indicated that it meant "for sure". There were no entries for "mish mish man," he said.
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Old 06-06-2003, 02:59 PM   #9
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Study: Women Pregnant With Boys Eat More

Not really News of the Weird, but I thought it was an interesting study:


Study: Women Pregnant With Boys Eat More

By EMMA ROSS, AP Medical Writer

LONDON - Women pregnant with boys tend to eat about 10 percent more calories a day than those carrying girls but don't gain more weight, new research indicates.



The study, published this week in the British Medical Journal, appears to explain at least in part why newborn boys are heavier than girls and suggests that signals between the fetus and the mother drive the appetite during pregnancy.


Boys are on the average 3.5 ounces heavier at birth than girls. The study by researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health and the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, is the first to examine whether that difference could be due to the mother eating more.


The scientists assessed the diets of 244 American women one week before they came to the hospital for a routine prenatal checkup at 27 weeks of pregnancy. All the women later gave birth to normal-weight babies at full term.


The researchers found that women who gave birth to boys were consuming about 10 percent, or 200, more calories per day than those who went on to bear girls.


Yet the amount of weight mothers gained during pregnancy did not differ between those who had girls and those who had boys.


"This sounds undoubtedly driven by the fetus," said Kent Thornburg, a fetal physiologist at Oregon Health Sciences University who was not connected with the study.


Thornburg said the findings do not necessarily mean that boys are heavier solely because their mothers eat more.


"That would lead to the conclusion that the more a pregnant woman eats the bigger her baby will be and that female babies would be larger if only their mothers ate more," he said. "A more realistic hypothesis is that fetuses stimulate the appetite in their mothers in proportion to their requirement for optimal growth."


Scientists do not understand exactly what causes appetite to increase during pregnancy, but the study's findings suggest there is a chemical communication between mother and fetus so that males can grow faster than females, with the mother being signaled to eat more to enable that growth, Thornburg said.


Thornburg said the findings could be relevant to the recently discovered relationship between growth in the womb and the risk in adulthood of illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes.


"A decade ago, we thought that the primary risk for chronic disease in any apparently healthy baby was solely the result of genetic endowment from parents," Thornburg said. "We now know that the access to nutrients by the fetus is important in determining prenatal growth rate and thus lifelong health."


The study's authors said their results indicate that male fetuses may be more vulnerable than female ones to problems linked to fetal nutrition.
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Old 06-06-2003, 06:28 PM   #10
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Good thread.

My all time favorite. Not even sure if it is true but it was reported as one of the Darwin Awards a while back.

In early 1983, a man from the Los Angeles area had a great idea. Why not fly instead of drive to his girlfriend's house? The logistics of how he would accomplish this were ingeniously simple. He would get a lightweight pool lounge chair. He would attach helium weather balloons all around the chair. Then he would simply sit in the chair and float upward into the sky. Besides a beer, he would bring a small air pistol, to shoot and pop the balloons one by one when he wanted to lose altitude or return to earth. On the day of the flight, things went off without a hitch... during the first few minutes. The balloons rose according to plan, carrying the man and his lounge chair up into the sky. As the man achieved his desired altitude, he got ready to shoot a few balloons to stabilize his altitude. He took aim... and then dropped the air pistol. And now the lounge chair kept rising. At ten thousand feet, the winds took him out near the skies of LAX--Los Angeles International Airport. The radio tower chatter from airline pilots reported the unusual sight of a man in a lounge chair loafing in the air lanes. One pilot reported a UFO, under the somewhat logical reasoning that he couldn't be seeing a man in a lounge chair with a beer at what was now fifteen thousand feet above the earth. Finally the winds blew the man and lounge chair back toward suburbia. And as the helium slowly leaked out of the balloons, the lounge chair gradually began to descend, and then, fittingly, landed right by the side of a backyard swimming pool.
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:33 PM   #11
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Woman Kills Man with Her High-Heeled Shoe

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Add "The Shoe Murder" to the chronicles of New York's crimes of passion.



A stormy relationship ended up on a Brooklyn street in the early hours of Saturday when a 220 pound woman sat on her ex-boyfriend's chest and clubbed him to death with her size 12 high heeled shoe, police said.


Anna Rhinehart, 40, told authorities she attacked Roosevelt Bonds, 51, in self-defense after he punched her in the mouth, knocking out her two front teeth.


The passionate struggle to the death began at 3 a.m. Saturday when Bonds saw Rhinehart at a restaurant with another man, police said.


"There was a dispute between them and the man was struck in the head and body with a blunt instrument," police spokeswoman Det. Carolyn Chew said.


Rhinehart was charged with manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon. "It was her shoe," Det. Chew said.
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Old 06-09-2003, 02:05 PM   #12
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Dumbass Dog Poop Thieves

DALLAS -- Matt Boswell had that holiday spirit after Christmas shopping in Frisco, Texas.

Then he saw some stinking thief messing around in the back of his pickup truck outside the Stonebriar Centre mall.

``I yelled at him,'' said Boswell, who watched the dirty dog haul two plastic bags from the truck to a waiting car and flee.

The Little Elm, Texas, resident didn't give chase or waste time calling police, however.

No. 1, the loss was a mere drop in the bucket.

No. 2, this is the season of sharing, a time for surprises.

``I sure wish I could have been there when he opened the bags,'' said Boswell, ``entremanure'' of a pet waste-removal company.

Those gift bags together contained about 25 pounds of leftovers from Texans' lawns in Irving and North Dallas.

``I just couldn't stop laughing,'' said Boswell, who had parked in the open so people, including thieves, could read the words painted on the sides of his truck.

``It's pretty obvious what we do,'' he said. ``It says we scoop poop.''

Boswell said he and his three employees weekly take in about a ton of dung.

And if the guys in the black, four-door sedan want some more, he said, ``we have plenty where that came from.''
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Old 06-09-2003, 02:49 PM   #13
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Re: Dumbass Dog Poop Thieves

Quote:
Originally posted by pookie
Boswell said he and his three employees weekly take in about a ton of dung.


Doesn't everybody? I bet they can't wait to get to work every day.

The Poop Bandits -- there's a name for a band.
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Old 07-10-2003, 10:06 AM   #14
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Just a little something from the What the....? department:

"Racing sausage whacked with bat"

While the incident isn't something to laugh about, apparently a lot of people find it amusing as well judging from the headlines from various papers around the country:

"Man Allegedly Attacks Sausage"

"Pirate grilled in sausage-race hit"

"Simon swings bat at 'Italian sausage' "




And my favorite:

"What a weenie: Pirate strikes sausage"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon was questioned by sheriff's officers after hitting one of the Milwaukee Brewers' racing sausages with a bat during Wednesday night's game.

Four people in sausage costumes race around the bases between the sixth and seventh innings at Brewers games as part of the entertainment for the fans.

Film of Wednesday night's race showed that when the group went past the Pirates dugout, Simon swung a bat at the Italian sausage character -- portrayed by a 20-year-old South Milwaukee woman -- causing her to fall to the ground. As she fell, a nearby sausage also went down.

"They were doing the sausage race. He hit her with the baseball bat," said Deputy Inspector Sherry Warichak of the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, which provides security at Brewers games. "When he hit her, that other character fell.

"They both were treated at the scene for scraped knees, but at this point I don't think they have any other complaints," she said.

Warichak declined to release the names of the women, who were interviewed at the stadium.

Simon pinch hit in the seventh inning and grounded out.

Milwaukee won the game 2-1 in 12 innings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's mine: "Sausage linked to random violence."


"As she fell, a nearby sausage also went down." A writer for ESPN pointed out that this guy, in addition to possible criminal charges, will be the butt of pork sausage jokes for the rest of his career. What the hell was he thinking?


ESPN has a poll which asks the question "Who would you rather have at your back in a street fight?"

a. Italian Sausage,
b. Bratwurst
c. Polish Sausage
d. Hot Dog

Italian sausage is currently ahead by a length. Hot Dogs appear to be the least feared of the processed meats.
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Old 07-10-2003, 10:36 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by NoRespect
Just a little something from the What the....? department:

"Racing sausage whacked with bat"

While the incident isn't something to laugh about, apparently a lot of people find it amusing as well judging from the headlines from various papers around the country:

"Man Allegedly Attacks Sausage"

"Pirate grilled in sausage-race hit"

"Simon swings bat at 'Italian sausage' "


And my favorite:

"What a weenie: Pirate strikes sausage"]
One of the funniest stories I've seen in quite a while. It was shown on the morning news and I've been laughing about it since.

ESPN.com's side panel reads: "Sausage Beater" booked for battery.





Quote:
ESPN has a poll which asks the question "Who would you rather have at your back in a street fight?"

a. Italian Sausage,
b. Bratwurst
c. Polish Sausage
d. Hot Dog

Italian sausage is currently ahead by a length. Hot Dogs appear to be the least feared of the processed meats. [/B]
The Germans beat the crap out of the Poles, but take their technology away, and they're not anything special. If the Italian has Sicilian bloodlines, then that's a no-brainer. Is the hot dog your standard weiner variety or are we talking foot long jumbos here??
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