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Undertaker #59

06-05-2003, 09:58 AM

Judge says nizzle-shizzling not an offence

LONDON (Reuters) - A judge has ruled that the lyrics of a rap record urging the listener to "shizzle my nizzle" and referring to a "mish mish man" did not constitute an offence.

Presiding in the case of UK rap artist Andrew Alcee against the Heartless Crew, High Court Judge Lewison ruled that not only were the lyrics not necessarily offensive but that they may as well have been in a foreign language.

Alcee is claiming that a remix by Heartless Crew of the Ant'ill Mob's 2001 garage hit "Burnin" constituted "derogatory treatment" of his copyright because the lyrics contained references to violence and drugs.

"This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as "mish mish man" and "shizzle my nizzle", the judge said.

Dismissing the claim, he added that despite extensive surfing of the Internet in search of illumination, he had been unable to establish whether the words complained of in the rap were actually references to violence and drugs.

"Some definitions carried sexual connotations. The most popular definitions were definitions of the phrase "fo' shizzle my nizzle" and indicated that it meant "for sure". There were no entries for "mish mish man," he said.

Undertaker #59

06-06-2003, 02:59 PM

Not really News of the Weird, but I thought it was an interesting study:

Study: Women Pregnant With Boys Eat More

By EMMA ROSS, AP Medical Writer

LONDON - Women pregnant with boys tend to eat about 10 percent more calories a day than those carrying girls but don't gain more weight, new research indicates.

The study, published this week in the British Medical Journal, appears to explain — at least in part — why newborn boys are heavier than girls and suggests that signals between the fetus and the mother drive the appetite during pregnancy.

Boys are on the average 3.5 ounces heavier at birth than girls. The study by researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health and the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, is the first to examine whether that difference could be due to the mother eating more.

The scientists assessed the diets of 244 American women one week before they came to the hospital for a routine prenatal checkup at 27 weeks of pregnancy. All the women later gave birth to normal-weight babies at full term.

The researchers found that women who gave birth to boys were consuming about 10 percent, or 200, more calories per day than those who went on to bear girls.

Yet the amount of weight mothers gained during pregnancy did not differ between those who had girls and those who had boys.

"This sounds undoubtedly driven by the fetus," said Kent Thornburg, a fetal physiologist at Oregon Health Sciences University who was not connected with the study.

Thornburg said the findings do not necessarily mean that boys are heavier solely because their mothers eat more.

"That would lead to the conclusion that the more a pregnant woman eats the bigger her baby will be and that female babies would be larger if only their mothers ate more," he said. "A more realistic hypothesis is that fetuses stimulate the appetite in their mothers in proportion to their requirement for optimal growth."

Scientists do not understand exactly what causes appetite to increase during pregnancy, but the study's findings suggest there is a chemical communication between mother and fetus so that males can grow faster than females, with the mother being signaled to eat more to enable that growth, Thornburg said.

Thornburg said the findings could be relevant to the recently discovered relationship between growth in the womb and the risk in adulthood of illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes.

"A decade ago, we thought that the primary risk for chronic disease in any apparently healthy baby was solely the result of genetic endowment from parents," Thornburg said. "We now know that the access to nutrients by the fetus is important in determining prenatal growth rate and thus lifelong health."

The study's authors said their results indicate that male fetuses may be more vulnerable than female ones to problems linked to fetal nutrition.

Hawg73

06-06-2003, 06:28 PM

Good thread.

My all time favorite. Not even sure if it is true but it was reported as one of the Darwin Awards a while back.

In early 1983, a man from the Los Angeles area had a great idea. Why not fly instead of drive to his girlfriend's house? The logistics of how he would accomplish this were ingeniously simple. He would get a lightweight pool lounge chair. He would attach helium weather balloons all around the chair. Then he would simply sit in the chair and float upward into the sky. Besides a beer, he would bring a small air pistol, to shoot and pop the balloons one by one when he wanted to lose altitude or return to earth. On the day of the flight, things went off without a hitch... during the first few minutes. The balloons rose according to plan, carrying the man and his lounge chair up into the sky. As the man achieved his desired altitude, he got ready to shoot a few balloons to stabilize his altitude. He took aim... and then dropped the air pistol. And now the lounge chair kept rising. At ten thousand feet, the winds took him out near the skies of LAX--Los Angeles International Airport. The radio tower chatter from airline pilots reported the unusual sight of a man in a lounge chair loafing in the air lanes. One pilot reported a UFO, under the somewhat logical reasoning that he couldn't be seeing a man in a lounge chair with a beer at what was now fifteen thousand feet above the earth. Finally the winds blew the man and lounge chair back toward suburbia. And as the helium slowly leaked out of the balloons, the lounge chair gradually began to descend, and then, fittingly, landed right by the side of a backyard swimming pool.

Undertaker #59

06-09-2003, 01:33 PM

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Add "The Shoe Murder" to the chronicles of New York's crimes of passion.

A stormy relationship ended up on a Brooklyn street in the early hours of Saturday when a 220 pound woman sat on her ex-boyfriend's chest and clubbed him to death with her size 12 high heeled shoe, police said.

Anna Rhinehart, 40, told authorities she attacked Roosevelt Bonds, 51, in self-defense after he punched her in the mouth, knocking out her two front teeth.

The passionate struggle to the death began at 3 a.m. Saturday when Bonds saw Rhinehart at a restaurant with another man, police said.

"There was a dispute between them and the man was struck in the head and body with a blunt instrument," police spokeswoman Det. Carolyn Chew said.

Rhinehart was charged with manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon. "It was her shoe," Det. Chew said.

pookie

06-09-2003, 02:05 PM

DALLAS -- Matt Boswell had that holiday spirit after Christmas shopping in Frisco, Texas.

Then he saw some stinking thief messing around in the back of his pickup truck outside the Stonebriar Centre mall.

``I yelled at him,'' said Boswell, who watched the dirty dog haul two plastic bags from the truck to a waiting car and flee.

The Little Elm, Texas, resident didn't give chase or waste time calling police, however.

No. 1, the loss was a mere drop in the bucket.

No. 2, this is the season of sharing, a time for surprises.

``I sure wish I could have been there when he opened the bags,'' said Boswell, ``entremanure'' of a pet waste-removal company.

Those gift bags together contained about 25 pounds of leftovers from Texans' lawns in Irving and North Dallas.

``I just couldn't stop laughing,'' said Boswell, who had parked in the open so people, including thieves, could read the words painted on the sides of his truck.

``It's pretty obvious what we do,'' he said. ``It says we scoop poop.''

Boswell said he and his three employees weekly take in about a ton of dung.

And if the guys in the black, four-door sedan want some more, he said, ``we have plenty where that came from.''

06-09-2003, 02:49 PM

Originally posted by pookie
Boswell said he and his three employees weekly take in about a ton of dung.

Doesn't everybody? I bet they can't wait to get to work every day.

The Poop Bandits -- there's a name for a band.

07-10-2003, 10:06 AM

Just a little something from the What the....? department:

"Racing sausage whacked with bat"

While the incident isn't something to laugh about, apparently a lot of people find it amusing as well judging from the headlines from various papers around the country:

"Man Allegedly Attacks Sausage"

"Pirate grilled in sausage-race hit"

"Simon swings bat at 'Italian sausage' "

And my favorite:

"What a weenie: Pirate strikes sausage"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon was questioned by sheriff's officers after hitting one of the Milwaukee Brewers' racing sausages with a bat during Wednesday night's game.

Four people in sausage costumes race around the bases between the sixth and seventh innings at Brewers games as part of the entertainment for the fans.

Film of Wednesday night's race showed that when the group went past the Pirates dugout, Simon swung a bat at the Italian sausage character -- portrayed by a 20-year-old South Milwaukee woman -- causing her to fall to the ground. As she fell, a nearby sausage also went down.

"They were doing the sausage race. He hit her with the baseball bat," said Deputy Inspector Sherry Warichak of the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, which provides security at Brewers games. "When he hit her, that other character fell.

"They both were treated at the scene for scraped knees, but at this point I don't think they have any other complaints," she said.

Warichak declined to release the names of the women, who were interviewed at the stadium.

Simon pinch hit in the seventh inning and grounded out.

Milwaukee won the game 2-1 in 12 innings.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's mine: "Sausage linked to random violence."

"As she fell, a nearby sausage also went down." ROFL A writer for ESPN pointed out that this guy, in addition to possible criminal charges, will be the butt of pork sausage jokes for the rest of his career. What the hell was he thinking?

ESPN has a poll which asks the question "Who would you rather have at your back in a street fight?"

a. Italian Sausage,
b. Bratwurst
c. Polish Sausage
d. Hot Dog

Italian sausage is currently ahead by a length. Hot Dogs appear to be the least feared of the processed meats.

bideau

07-10-2003, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by NoRespect
Just a little something from the What the....? department:

"Racing sausage whacked with bat"

While the incident isn't something to laugh about, apparently a lot of people find it amusing as well judging from the headlines from various papers around the country:

"Man Allegedly Attacks Sausage"

"Pirate grilled in sausage-race hit"

"Simon swings bat at 'Italian sausage' "

And my favorite:

"What a weenie: Pirate strikes sausage"]

One of the funniest stories I've seen in quite a while. It was shown on the morning news and I've been laughing about it since.

ESPN.com's side panel reads: "Sausage Beater" booked for battery.
:LOL: :LOL:

ESPN has a poll which asks the question "Who would you rather have at your back in a street fight?"

a. Italian Sausage,
b. Bratwurst
c. Polish Sausage
d. Hot Dog

Italian sausage is currently ahead by a length. Hot Dogs appear to be the least feared of the processed meats. [/B]
The Germans beat the crap out of the Poles, but take their technology away, and they're not anything special. If the Italian has Sicilian bloodlines, then that's a no-brainer. Is the hot dog your standard weiner variety or are we talking foot long jumbos here??

bideau

07-10-2003, 10:38 AM

Woman swallows cockroach and fork

By Associated Press, 7/10/2003

JERUSALEM -- A surgeon in Israel says it's the first time he's ever run across something as bizarre as this.

He operated this week on a woman after she had swallowed a cockroach -- and a fork.

The woman was apparently cleaning her home when a winged cockroach jumped into her mouth. When she tried to scoop it out with a fork, she swallowed the fork as well.

An X-ray showed the fork, lodged sideways in her stomach.

The surgeon was able to remove the fork but the cockroach had already been digested.

07-10-2003, 03:27 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by bideau
[B]Woman swallows cockroach and fork

Glad to see they are using forks...

-----------------------------------
If anyone gets a chance, the sausage incident is on video on ESPN. I expected it to be more minor than it was, he really took a good cut.

07-10-2003, 03:31 PM

Hawg73

07-10-2003, 06:45 PM

That friggin' Simon should be bounced for at least a week for that stupid manuever.

Nobody is saying that he was purposely trying to hurt the poor girl, but you HAVE to have more sense that to hit a mascot with a bat not knowing if the area you are whacking is padded or not.

He should be arrested for assault and Battery. Get it?

07-11-2003, 04:20 PM

Originally posted by bideau
Woman swallows cockroach and fork

By Associated Press, 7/10/2003

JERUSALEM -- A surgeon in Israel says it's the first time he's ever run across something as bizarre as this.

He operated this week on a woman after she had swallowed a cockroach -- and a fork.

The woman was apparently cleaning her home when a winged cockroach jumped into her mouth. When she tried to scoop it out with a fork, she swallowed the fork as well.

An X-ray showed the fork, lodged sideways in her stomach.

The surgeon was able to remove the fork but the cockroach had already been digested. http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030710/capt.1057853256.israel_swallowed_cockroach_jrl802. jpg

bideau

07-15-2003, 10:37 AM

7/15/2003

SYDNEY (Reuters) -- Returning to work took on an unexpected meaning for an unemployed Australian man when the government's job network told him to apply to an agency looking for female escorts.

The Australian Broadcasting Corp said an employment agency contracted by the government to help the unemployed find work matched the man to two advertisements seeking "Ladies of all Ages".

"I don't think the government should be expecting job seekers to apply for a job as a prostitute," the man, who asked to be identified only as Tom, told the ABC Tuesday.

The ABC said the advertisements had been included in Tom's list of possible options by mistake.

Prostitution is legal in some parts of Australia but strictly licensed.

Undertaker #59

07-17-2003, 11:12 AM

ALMATY (Reuters) - A distraught Kazakh mother kept her daughter's mummified corpse in her apartment for three years hoping she would be resurrected by aliens, police said on Thursday.

Police spokeswoman Nina Tsys told Reuters by telephone from the town of Pavlodar in northern Kazakhstan that Olga, 27, was believed to have died from an autoimmune disorder after her mother failed -- or declined -- to call for medical help.

She said Olga's cousin, worried by her long absence, had repeatedly tried to see her, but the mother would always refuse to let him in under various pretexts. Finally police broke in and made the gruesome discovery.

"We believe death was from natural causes, although due to the long time that had passed we can't be absolutely sure," Tsys said. "At least we found no signs of vandalism."

Popular Kazakh daily newspaper Vremya carried a picture of the mummified body, with withered limbs and parched skin, lying on a plain bed in the flat in this industrial town.

Vremya suggested the mother -- a former nurse -- could have known how to treat the body to preserve it.

Tsys said the mother appeared to have been influenced by a sect preaching "cosmology" that promised resurrection of her child with the help of a "third cosmic eye" or by aliens.

She said the mother was undergoing medical checks at a psychiatric clinic. Her daughter's remains had been given a proper burial.

pookie

07-17-2003, 11:37 AM

A Houston man was killed Friday night when he fell out of a
pickup on the Southwest Freeway and was run over by it
and other vehicles, police said.

The man, identified as William Thayer, 23, was riding
in a passenger seat in a Ford pickup when he opened
the door to urinate on the freeway while the vehicle
was moving at freeway speed, police said.

Ballbustah

07-17-2003, 02:24 PM

Thats called thinning the herd lest his genes make it to the next generation...

dropKickMurphy

07-24-2003, 12:35 AM

http://in.news.yahoo.com/030624/43/25eim.html

-------
Tuesday June 24, 12:35 PM

'Fly boy' continues to suffer as doctors struggle
By Indo-Asian News Service

Kolkata, June 24 (IANS) A 13-year-old boy whose bizarre ailment has a fly-like insect emerging out of him is far from being cured as doctors struggle to detect the source of the parasite.

The fully-grown flies, as doctors described the parasites, have been emerging out of Chandan Goswami's genitals and flying off for more than two weeks now.

Chandan, now receiving treatment at a state-run hospital in West Bengal's Burdwan district, is said to be suffering from a condition called myiasis, a disease seen mostly in Central and Latin America.

In myiasis, the larvae of a type of fly invade a human or animal body, dead or alive. The deposited eggs can then enter the body through pores, the mucous membrane or even the mouth. The hatched larvae then emerge out the host's skin and pupate.

However, in Chandan's case, whole flies complete with wings are emerging out of his body and flying off.

"This is very, very rare. We are trying to find out how the fly entered the boy's body," says Sudhansu Pan, the surgeon attending Chandan.

Doctors carried out a cystoscopy to clear the boy's urinary tract, but the treatment has failed because two more flies emerged out of his penis on Monday.

Doctors admitted they have not been able to identify where the parasite deposit lay inside Chandan's body.

Health authorities have formed a medical board of seven doctors to treat Chandan. Doctors were also "coordinating" with physicians abroad who have experience in dealing with myiasis.

In myiasis, the maggots usually are found underneath the skin and are removed by minor surgery. But whole flies emerging out of a human body is rare, doctors said.

Chandan told doctors he first felt pain in his abdomen almost a month ago. And then he saw the flies intermittently coming out of his penis.

He told his parents, but they didn't initially believe him. Earlier this month, they saw the strange occurrence and took their son to Burdwan hospital, where doctors too were stunned to see the rare case.

dropKickMurphy

07-24-2003, 12:42 AM

And then he saw the flies intermittently coming out of his penis.

Say, wasn't that Bill Clinton's problem? No wait, it was the other way around, wasn't it?

;)

In a related story, Indian health officials have noted an alarming increase in the number of Catholic priests requiring treatment after accidently ingesting insects. More details as they become available....

dropKickMurphy

07-25-2003, 12:16 AM

Originally posted by FallingAlice
Are you sure you wouldn't like to submit this to the bad writing contest?

Do we have a category for "Supposedly legitimate news articles?"

I'm not sure exactly how the name of that disease is pronounced, but you've got to love this sentence from the article:
Doctors were also "coordinating" with physicians abroad who have experience in dealing with myiasis.

Sounds like they're talking about proctologists.

Undertaker #59

07-25-2003, 07:31 AM

Hey, don't knck it until you try it! :p

bideau

07-31-2003, 09:09 AM

LILBURN, Ga. — A post office and surrounding area were evacuated after a mail carrier came across a suspicious, vibrating package. X-rays soon revealed the box to be X-rated.

U.S. Postal Service spokesman Michael Miles said the package aroused suspicion from a carrier and his supervisor, who took the priority-listed mail into the parking lot and called police.

The Gwinnett County bomb squad, U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Gwinnett County Fire Department evacuated the building and the parking lot Wednesday and shut down a nearby street.

A high-tech robot was sent in to pick up the package and X-ray it. The X-ray showed wires and objects, Miles said. When it was opened, authorities found adult toys, including a vibrator and massage oil.

The resident to whom the package was addressed will be notified of what happened, but will not be prosecuted.

"Since these are all legal items, we won't be doing any follow-up investigation," police spokesman Cpl. Dan Huggins said.

bideau

08-07-2003, 10:25 AM

Dog survives trip through death chamber
By Associated Press, 8/7/2003

ST. LOUIS -- Cast into a city gas chamber to be euthanized with other unwanted or unclaimed dogs, it appeared the roughly year-old Basenji mix had simply run out of luck -- and time.

But this canine had other ideas.

When the death chamber's door swung open Monday, the dog now dubbed Quentin -- for California's forbidding San Quentin State Prison -- stood very much alive, his tail and tongue wagging.

Animal-control supervisor Rosemary Ficken had never seen such a survivor, and she didn't have the nerve to slam the door shut again.

This 30-pound animal, she believed, beat the odds and should live on.

"She told me, 'Please, take him. I don't have the heart to put him back in there and re-gas him,"' said Randy Grim, founder and head of Stray Rescue of St. Louis, the charitable shelter that took in the dog before taking the animal's story public.

Quentin's ordeal was played and replayed Wednesday on local TV stations, drawing people looking to adopt him.

"To me, it's a miracle or divine intervention," Grim said. "I can't help but think he's here to serve a higher purpose. This case blew me away. This is amazing."

On Wednesday, Quentin was a little malnourished but "in very good condition," Grim said. He was being checked for heartworm and other maladies by a veterinarian.

"You can tell he's really digging it," Grim said. "He has a bed, love, food and water."

dropKickMurphy

08-09-2003, 12:56 AM

Parcells goes to the beach... (http://www.boston.com/news/daily/08/odds_blob.htm)

Hawg73

08-10-2003, 05:55 PM

No wonder Jerry Springer is looking for a job change - from the Smoking Gun:

JULY 30--Just when you think you've seen all the dangers a strip club can offer, something new comes along. Early Saturday morning, David Buhler, 23, and a buddy visited The School House, a southern Michigan topless club, where the guys repaired to a couch to enjoy some adult entertainment. There they were approached by Kasey Ann Colvin, a 20-year-old stripper who hovered over Buhler and asked, "Do you want some of this?" According to the below Jackson Police Department report, Colvin, who had recently given birth, then shot something "out of her breast in a white milky form striking Buhler in the face going into his eyes and by his nose." Believing he'd been slimed with mother's milk, Buhler became angry and contacted the club manager, who apologized and offered him free soft drinks and lap dances. Buhler declined the freebies and contacted the cops to file an aggravated assault complaint. One of the club's owners told officers that the lactating lap dancer acknowledged that she "had started to leak a little bit, possibly maybe drizzling" her milk on Buhler. Police plan to forward their report to local prosecutors, who will decide whether to formally charge Colvin, who has yet to be interviewed by cops.

the stripper strikes back:

AUGUST 5--The Michigan stripper accused of assaulting an unsuspecting club patron by squirting him with mother's milk has fired back, so to speak. Kasey Ann Colvin, 20, told cops that patron/complainant David Buhler was a "jerk" she knew from high school and that he may have been responsible for the July 26 nocturnal emission at The School House. According to this Jackson Police Department report, Colvin--who uses the stage name Sky--told officers that while she performed for Buhler, he "grabbed her by the breast," which might have caused some milk to "drip" (though Colvin acknowledged that some milk may have leaked naturally "somewhere in the middle of the dance floor"). Colvin, who vehemently denied Buhler's claim that she squirted him in the face with mother's milk, told police that she wanted to press charges against the 23-year-old Buhler. The Jackson City Attorney has decided not to file charges against either party

bideau

08-18-2003, 10:34 AM

Norwegian man accidentally shoots six at birthday party

OSLO, Norway -- A Norwegian accidentally shot and wounded six of his friends at a surprise party to celebrate his 40th birthday, police said Sunday.

The man found out about the party in a forest cabin in south Norway beforehand and hid behind trees nearby with a shotgun as about 30 guests turned up on Saturday night, hoping to turn the surprise on his friends,

He blasted off one round in the air, meaning it as a joke to shock the partygoers. But when he came out from his hiding place, he tripped and the gun went off again, badly hurting one woman in the legs and slightly injuring five others.

"Seven people were taken to hospital in Fredrikstad including the man who shot. He wasn't physically hurt but in deep shock," a police spokesman said.

The party was canceled.

Undertaker #59

08-21-2003, 10:57 AM

BANGKOK, Thailand - An ice-cream truck driver in Thailand died while laughing in his sleep, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Damnoen Saen-um, 52, laughed for about two minutes on Wednesday and then stopped breathing, The Nation said, quoting officials.

The newspaper said Damnoen's wife tried to wake him up but he kept laughing. An autopsy suggested that he might have had a heart attack, The Nation quoted a doctor as saying.

"I have never seen a case like this. But it is possible that a person could have heart seizure while laughing or crying too hard in their sleep," said Dr. Somchai Chakrabhand, deputy director-general of the Mental Health Department, according to The Nation.

The incident occurred in Phrae province, 300 miles north of Bangkok.

pookie

08-21-2003, 10:59 AM

Originally posted by Undertaker #59
BANGKOK, Thailand - An ice-cream truck driver in Thailand died while laughing in his sleep, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Damnoen Saen-um, 52, laughed for about two minutes on Wednesday and then stopped breathing, The Nation said, quoting officials.

The newspaper said Damnoen's wife tried to wake him up but he kept laughing. An autopsy suggested that he might have had a heart attack, The Nation quoted a doctor as saying.

"I have never seen a case like this. But it is possible that a person could have heart seizure while laughing or crying too hard in their sleep," said Dr. Somchai Chakrabhand, deputy director-general of the Mental Health Department, according to The Nation.

The incident occurred in Phrae province, 300 miles north of Bangkok.

Wow!! Poor guy must've been watching the Sox game last night.... Oh, wait, then he'd have cried himself to death!

Hawg73

08-21-2003, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by pookie
Wow!! Poor guy must've been watching the Sox game last night.... Oh, wait, then he'd have cried himself to death!

Look at the bright side pook, they tied a record last night.

for most runners left on base - 17!!!!!

Can you feel the flames Sox fans? :fire:

BWAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

pookie

08-21-2003, 04:35 PM

Originally posted by Hawg73
Can you feel the flames Sox fans? :fire:

BWAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

I wanna die.

Now our Domincan Diva can't make his start tonight because he's not feeling well.... Awwwwwww! Poor Petey!

Goshdamn, mother#$@^%#$ Pus%& millionaire baseball player!

Hawg73

09-11-2003, 06:59 PM

Saudi police say Barbie dolls a threat to morality

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) --Saudi Arabia's religious police have declared Barbie dolls a threat to morality, complaining that the revealing clothes of the "Jewish" toy -- already banned in the kingdom -- are offensive to Islam.

The Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, as the religious police are officially known, lists the dolls on a section of its Web site devoted to items deemed offensive to the conservative Saudi interpretation of Islam.

"Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful," said a poster on the site.

The poster, plastered with pictures of Barbie in short dresses and tight pants, and with a few of her accessories, reads: "A strange request. A little girl asks her mother: Mother, I want jeans, a low-cut shirt, and a swimsuit like Barbie."

Such posters are distributed to schools and hung in the streets by the religious police, or muttawa, an independent body affiliated with the office of the Prime Minister.

Vice police officials were not available for comment Monday.

Sheik Abdulla al-Merdas, a preacher in a Riyadh mosque, said the muttawa take their anti-Barbie campaign to the shops, confiscating dolls from sellers and imposing a fine.

Although illegal, Barbies, the creation of California-based Mattel Inc., are found on the black market, where a contraband doll could cost 100 riyals (US$27) or more.

"It is no problem that little girls play with dolls. But these dolls should not have the developed body of a woman, and wear revealing clothes," al-Merdas said.

"These revealing clothes will be imprinted in their minds and they will refuse to wear the clothes we are used to as Muslims," the sheik said.

Women in Saudi Arabia must cover themselves from head to toe with a black cloak in public. They are not allowed to drive and cannot go out in public unaccompanied by a male family member.

Other items listed as violations on the site included Valentine's Day gifts, perfume bottles in the shape of women's bodies, clothing with logos that include a cross, and decorative copies of religious items -- offensive because they could be damaged and thus insult Islam.

An exhibition of all the violating items is found in the holy city of Medina, and mobile tours go around to schools and other public areas in the kingdom.

The muttawa act as a monitoring and punishing agency, propagating conservative Islamic beliefs according to the teachings of the puritan Wahhabi sect, adhered to the kingdom since the 18th century, and enforcing strict moral code.

The muttawa patrol the streets of the kingdom, preventing men from mingling with women, enforcing strict Islamic dress for women, chasing worshippers late for prayers, and punishing shop keepers who stay open during prayer hours. They sometimes work with a police officer who can enforce legal punishments on people deemed violators.

Hawg73

09-11-2003, 07:18 PM

And now for something completely weird.

Sitting at your computer take your right foot and draw a clockwise circle. Yes, just like that - now keep it going round and round.

Now take your right hand and draw the number 6 in the air.

Your foot will change direction.

You just can't find good stuff like that everywhere.

Peg

09-11-2003, 10:31 PM

Originally posted by Hawg73
And now for something completely weird.

Sitting at your computer take your right foot and draw a clockwise circle. Yes, just like that - now keep it going round and round.

Now take your right hand and draw the number 6 in the air.

Your foot will change direction.

You just can't find good stuff like that everywhere.

YIKES!!... That is freaky!!!... I tried it, because I thought that you might be pulling our collective leg, here... :rolleyes:
But, it's true!!!... I tried it several times, just in case, and the same result--every time... :eek: :confused: :cool:

bideau

09-17-2003, 10:27 AM

Regulator clamps down on sexy beer ads
By Reuters, 9/17/2003

SAO PAULO, Brazil -- The days of the buxom bikini babes in Brazilian beer ads may be numbered.

A spokesman for Brazil's independent advertising industry regulator Conar said Tuesday new guidelines that require ads for alcoholic drinks to "avoid the use of eroticism" will come into force within three months.

The new restrictions listed on the Internet site of Brazil's National Council for Advertising Self-Regulation, or Conar, also say beer and wine ads run between 6 am and 9:30 p.m. should also avoid any symbols that might be attractive to youngsters, such as cartoon characters.

Adverts for alcoholic drinks should also only feature people, "who are and seem older than 25 years of age," a move which could prove to be a blow to young models whose careers are frequently launched by an appearance in a bikini to launch one of the nation's brews.

The world's fifth-largest brewer Companhia de Bebidas das Americas, better known as AmBev, and rival Kaiser, which is owned by Canada's Molson Inc, routinely bombard Brazilians with ads featuring scantily clad women and quirky cartoon mascots to promote their beers.

Both brewers declined comment on the new ad guidelines.

dropKickMurphy

09-18-2003, 11:07 AM

First off, props to Undertaker 59 for starting this thread. Also to Bideau, Hawg, pookie and the rest of you who dig up these hilarious tidbits.

Today's NOTW: testa de cazi (http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=3467259)

(Before you even ask, Peg, I don't believe this pattern is available from Pfaltzgraf! :D )

Bawdy Phallic Plate Heads for Oxford
Thu September 18, 2003 08:55 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - A leading British museum has paid $387,000 for a Renaissance plate which shows a male head made up entirely of phalluses.
The Italian plate is thought to have been made by ceramicist Francesco Urbini in the 16th century.

It shows a head made up of around 50 fleshy penises, wrapped round each other to form a dense, knotted whole.

The head is framed by a garland carrying the inscription: "Ogni homo me guarda come fosse una testa de cazi" (Every man looks at me as if I were a dickhead).

The phrase is still a common term of abuse in Italy and elsewhere.

Oxford's Ashmolean Museum, which has bought the plate, describes it as "one of the most extraordinary and fascinating pieces of Italian maiolica (a style of ceramic painting) in existence."

It is a rare example of bawdy Renaissance art which survived the suppression of later, more prudish, generations, it said.

The Ashmolean said the inspiration for the plate remains obscure but it was painted "presumably with an individual in mind."

dropKickMurphy

09-18-2003, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by Hawg73
...."These revealing clothes will be imprinted in their minds and they will refuse to wear the clothes we are used to as Muslims," the sheik said......

I smell a marketing opportunity here. Are you ready for Burkha Barbie and Taliban Ken?

pookie

09-18-2003, 11:25 AM

Peg

09-18-2003, 01:06 PM

Originally posted by dropKickMurphy
First off, props to Undertaker 59 for starting this thread. Also to Bideau, Hawg, pookie and the rest of you who dig up these hilarious tidbits.

Today's NOTW: testa de cazi (http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=3467259)

(Before you even ask, Peg, I don't believe this pattern is available from Pfaltzgraf! :D )

LMFAO!!! :D
I was laughing so hard that Sister-Of-Peg wanted to know what was so funny, so I showed this to her...
She cracked up too, and then added, "Boy, do those guys on the board know you really well or what?!" :rolleyes:
Yup, I guess that would be an affirmative! :thumb: ;) :p :cool:
btw--I am kind of disappointed that they didn't show a picture of the infamous plate!...
p.s.--you were right to give props to UT, Bideau, Hawg & Pookie for being such constant contributors to this thread... You should include yourself in that group, as well... :thumb:

Undertaker #59

09-18-2003, 04:07 PM

Wellaaaa!!!

:D :D

pookie

09-18-2003, 04:17 PM

Originally posted by Undertaker #59
Wellaaaa!!!

:D :D

Nice to see that they were doing circumcisions in the 16th century.

pookie

09-18-2003, 06:13 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/09/18/offbeat.angle.grinder.reut/index.html

dropKickMurphy

09-18-2003, 06:52 PM

Originally posted by Undertaker #59
Wellaaaa!!!

:D :D

Egads! Brings to mind the old Fenway horse trough!

Hawg73

09-18-2003, 07:30 PM

I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.

I don't like it.

387,000 clams for that? Somebody call angle grinder man.

Good find U59. You have a way with the photo thing.

pookie

09-18-2003, 07:32 PM

Originally posted by Hawg73
I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.

I don't like it.

387,000 clams for that? Somebody call angle grinder man.

Good find U59. You have a way with the photo thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!1

:LOL: ROFL :LOL:

Undertaker #59

09-19-2003, 07:30 AM

Originally posted by Hawg73
IGood find U59. You have a way with the photo thing.

:D o:-)

Tiger_69

09-21-2003, 11:44 AM

A somewhat intoxicated man extorted money from a drug dealer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, by pulling the pin out of a hand grenade and threatening to kill him with it.

After he got the money, the drunken extortionist put the grenade back in his pocket, but he forgot to put the pin back in the grenade. He'll never threaten anyone again, he's no longer among the breathing population.
:lame:

bideau

09-23-2003, 10:46 AM

Hungarians get horny while Australians fake it
By Associated Press, 9/23/2003

LONDON -- Forget Latin lovers -- horny Hungarians are now the most active between the sheets, leading a charge of eastern Europeans in the global sex charts.

Condom maker Durex's annual global sex survey published on Tuesday showed that Hungarian lovers enjoy sex 152 times a year. The French -- fiercely proud of their sexual prowess -- only manage 144 performances a year.

Americans make love an average of 118 times a year.

"Bedtime in Budapest is the most passionate of all," Durex said in its survey.

But if you want sex in Sweden, you may be disappointed. Swedes chalked up a below-average score of 102 times a year.

The survey of more than 150,000 people found lovers across the globe are having sex an average of 127 times a year and 73 percent of people say they are happy with their sex lives.

Russians were the least happy. Only 59 percent said they were satisfied, despite having sex an average of 150 times a year.

Americans were at the forefront of the techno trend for virtual reality sex with 54 percent saying they have had sex via phone, e-mail or text message. The French scoffed at such modern nonsense -- only 20 percent of them saying they could see the point of it.

And when it comes to faking it, Australians led the pack with 47 percent saying they have faked orgasms.

dropKickMurphy

09-23-2003, 02:40 PM

Student cuts off penis and tongue after drinking hallucinogenic tea (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_822069.html?menu=news.latestheadlines)

A student cut off his own penis and his tongue after drinking an infusion of the latest drugs craze to sweep Germany.

The 18-year-old, only named as Andreas W, from Halle in Germany drank a tea made with the hallucinogenic angels' trumpet plants.

His mother said: "Andreas was behaving normally the whole day until he left the house and disappeared into the garden for a couple of minutes."

When he returned to the house he was wearing a towel wrapped around him and was bleeding heavily from his mouth and between his legs.

The emergency doctor who arrived a few minutes later said the student had cut off his penis and his tongue with garden shears and it was impossible to reattach the organs.

Dr Andreas Marneros, from the local psychiatric hospital the student was admitted to, said: "Andreas will have to receive psychological help for years. Tea from Angels' Trumpets is extremely dangerous as the drug cannot be dosed."

Angels' Trumpets, known for their fragrant and trumpet shaped flowers, have increasingly become popular as an alternative drug in Germany.

dropKickMurphy

09-24-2003, 09:01 AM

That'll teach her.... (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_822494.html)

Man cuts off penis 'to teach wife a lesson'

A Kenyan villager has cut off his penis and testicles with a kitchen knife "to teach his wife a lesson."

Police say Alfonse Mumbo, of Kajulu Wath Orego, near Kisumu, severed his genitalia after accusing his wife, Penina of unfaithfulness.

Officers say the 38-year-old former barber said he wanted "to give her a free hand to go after other men." He told police he loved her so much, he could make the sacrifice.

Mr Mumbo has told the East African Standard: " It was around 8 o'clock in the morning when I started feeling dizzy. My wife had left for the farm. I don't know what came over me.

"All I remember is walking around the compound anxiously and answering many calls of nature. I found myself disgusted with the penis and decided to cut it off.

"I went into the kitchen, took a knife, undressed and just chopped it off. The knife was too sharp and before I realised what I had done, it was too late."

He said blood gushed out of the gaping hole in his crotch and he says he began screaming with pain. Mrs Mumbo came home 10 minutes after the incident, with her brother-in-law, to find her husband unconscious in a pool of blood.

He was taken to the New Nyanza General Hospital, where medics had a hard time stemming the blood. Mrs Mumbo has now dismissed her husband's allegations of affairs outside the marriage.

She told the newspaper she loves her husband very much, and could not do that to him. The 29-year-old says she feels sorry for her husband and has asked people to stop blaming her for his actions.

"When I am walking around the village or going on safari, those who recognise me talk about me in low tones," says Mr Mumbo, who is recovering from a bladder operation.

pookie

09-24-2003, 09:10 AM

Originally posted by dropKickMurphy
That'll teach her.... (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_822494.html)

[b]Man cuts off penis 'to teach wife a lesson'

2 Days.

2 Severed penis stories.

Are you trying to tell us something DropKick? Are you reaching out?

bideau

09-24-2003, 09:16 AM

Originally posted by pookie
2 Days.

2 Severed penis stories.

Are you trying to tell us something DropKick? Are you reaching out?

Maybe he's contemplating seeing a doctor in Sweden. I hear they do remarkable things over there.

bideau

10-08-2003, 08:29 AM

Last name ruled too vulgar for vanity license plate
10/8/2003

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- Dennis Udink says there's nothing dirty about his name.

He's trying to get a vanity license plate in Utah that says "UDINK." But his request has been rejected by the Division of Motor Vehicles because it's supposedly vulgar.

"I couldn't believe they could say it could possibly be offensive. It's my ... name," he said.

Udink appealed and has a hearing scheduled for later this month. Now, he's getting support from state Senate Minority Leader Mike Dmitrich, a Democrat who sits on the legislative committee that has oversight of the rule-making process.

"It is really an unfortunate situation because it is a pretty well-known family in this area, and no one thinks anything of it," Dmitrich said. "It's only offensive to people who make it offensive."

Dmitrich plans to suggest a rule change to the Administrative Rules Review Committee that would give the DMV more discretion when a red flag pops up on an application.

"I have a good friend whose last name is Hori. If you want to make that offensive, then it could be very offensive," Dmitrich said. "I agree that we should not allow certain things that are offensive, but this is his name."

Udink bought a car in August and requested a vanity plate on the Internet. The computer automatically rejected his application, so he went to local DMV officials.

A week later, he received a letter from the state saying the plate was not acceptable.

DMV spokeswoman Jodi Monaco said the agency checks personalized plate applications against 10 Web sites listing slang terms. If the word or numbers generate a hit on any of the sites, the request is rejected.
© Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

dropKickMurphy

10-08-2003, 09:56 AM

I hear that Bran Cox, Charlie Fuchs and Rusty ****z are planning to join him in a class action suit.

bideau

10-10-2003, 05:42 AM

I figured this belonged in this thread.

by Len Pasquarelli
ESPN.com

When rookie coach Jack Del Rio placed a stump of oak and an ax in the Jacksonville Jaguars locker room a few weeks ago as a motivational technique, symbolic of his theme to "keep choppin' wood," it was viewed as a sophomoric technique by some veterans.

Now the move is likely to be regarded as a huge mistake.

The Jaguars on Thursday lost Pro Bowl punter Chris Hanson for an undetermined amount of time -- ESPN.com has learned that he will be sidelined 4-6 weeks and could well miss the balance of the season -- when the fourth-year veteran was accidentally gashed on his right (non-kicking foot) while wielding the ax.

Hanson, 26, was taken to a local hospital for what Del Rio before practice termed "a gash of some sort." As it turned out, the injury was severe enough to require surgery. It is not known how long the surgery lasted or what steps were taken to close the gash.

The wound, agent Drew Rosenhaus told ESPN.com, was self-inflicted.

"Chris said that everyone else had been taking a swing with the ax, chopping the wood, and he finally decided to do it, too," Rosenhaus said. "Unfortunately, the ax either went through the wood, or bounced off it, and went into Chris' foot. Chris told me it is a pretty significant injury."

While it is likely that the injury will be fully healed before the end of the season, the Jaguars might be reluctant to carry two punters, using Royals but keeping Hanson on the roster as well. Team officials hinted Wednesday evening to Rosenhaus that they might place Hansen on injured reserve. That would end his season.

"They basically said," acknowledged Rosenhaus, "that there is a chance Chris might not punt again this year."

Jacksonville quickly signed veteran punter Mark Royals, released by the Miami Dolphins two weeks ago. Royals will punt on Sunday against his former teammates.

The accident apparently occurred during a team meeting that the kickers were not mandated to attend. Hanson departed the team's training complex on crutches.

Not surprisingly, the ax was removed from the locker room Thursday afternoon, and the tree stump will soon be gone as well.

It is somewhat surprising that franchise officials, and the league, would permit the tree stump and the ax, given the potential for the kind of incident that transpired Thursday. The stump had garnered plenty of media attention.

Said Del Rio: "I'll find another slogan. The message was understood. The thing was on its way out soon, but not soon enough. It was symbolic more than anything else."

BionicPatriot

10-10-2003, 06:08 AM

Alls I have to say is wow. How stupid. Why would they be sitting here, "OK GUYS!! LETS PLAY WITH AN AXE!!" Their team is coming together, so they need to stay healthy. I have a feeling jacksonville will still pull a shocker this weekend. Lets hope I am right.

bideau

10-10-2003, 10:34 AM

Suspected penis snatcher beaten to death in Gambia
10/10/2003

BANJUL, Gambia (Reuters) - A 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia Thursday, police said.

A police spokesman told Reuters that Baba Jallow was lynched by about 10 people in the town of Serekunda, about 9 miles from the capital, Banjul.

Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, with purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in order to extort cash in the promise of a cure.

The police spokesman said many men in Serekunda were now afraid to shake hands, and he urged people not to believe reports of "vanishing" genitals. Belief in sorcery is widespread in West Africa.

Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997.

Tiger_69

10-10-2003, 09:22 PM

bideau

10-13-2003, 05:18 PM

Wedding guests shoot down plane by mistake
10/13/2003

BELGRADE -- A two-seater sports plane on an unauthorized joyride was apparently shot down by mistake when it flew over a Serbian wedding party where guests were firing guns into the air, local media reported.

Two men were reported to have been seriously hurt when their aircraft burst into flames and crashed near Kraljevo, central Serbia.

"I heard shots from a wedding party which was very close to the crash site. Then I saw the plane in flames. It was shot in the left wing," witness Zoran Vukadinovic told reporters.

"A few moments later, while attempting a crash landing, it was caught in overhead power cables," he said.

Local media said neither of the men held a pilot's license. Firing guns into the air at weddings and other celebrations is common in Serbia.

Ottawapatty

10-15-2003, 10:04 AM

Jackass

Nazi salute trick puts owner in the doghouse
Berlin
October 16, 2003

A man who trained his dog to raise his right paw in a Nazi salute is to appear in court today. Adolf the black mongrel sheepdog is alleged to have performed the trick at his master's request in front of two policemen in March last year. The officers were called in to question the dog's owner - identified only as 54-year-old Roland T - after he raised his own right arm in a Nazi salute. He is also accused of wearing a T-shirt bearing a picture of Adolf Hitler and shouting Nazi slogans. A spokeswoman for Berlin Criminal Court said Adolf would not be called as a witness. It was too early to say whether his owner was mentally responsible for his acts, she added. Nazi slogans and greetings are illegal in Germany.

bideau

10-23-2003, 09:14 AM

Gunman fails escape via tricycle, hijacked car
10/23/2003

SALEM, Ore. (AP) -- A gunman who allegedly tried to hijack a car was apparently no better at driving it than he was at maneuvering his original vehicle: a tricycle.

He also wasn't very handy with the gun.

Oswaldo Valenciano, 24, was arrested Tuesday and will be booked at the Marion County Jail on felony charges, Lt. Dan Cary said.

Police were called after receiving reports that a man on a tricycle had been firing gunshots and had slammed into a car, Cary said.

"The tricycle pilot picked himself up and demanded to be taken to the hospital," Cary said. But the driver of the car, Marion Rodriguez, tried to persuade Valenciano to call 911, Cary said.

"At this point, Valenciano opens the rear car door and hops into the back seat of Mr. Rodriguez's car, demanding to be taken to the hospital," Cary said.

"Mr. Rodriguez gets out of his car and starts asking people to call 911. Valenciano then gets out, mounts his trike -- and promptly falls over."

At that point, a police car arrived, prompting Valenciano to abandon his tricycle and get into the front seat of Rodriguez's car, still armed with his handgun, according to police reports.

"Officers saw the weapon and ordered Valenciano out of the car," Cary said. "Instead he puts the car in gear and tosses a handgun out. He fails to notice that the emergency brake is still set."

Valenciano eventually hit a street sign, lost control of the car and tried to hide in a nearby sports utility vehicle, police said

Valenciano was treated at Salem Hospital for a leg injury and a gunshot wound to his left foot.

© Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Undertaker #59

10-23-2003, 09:23 AM

Originally posted by bideau
© Copyright 2003 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

OOps :D

Undertaker #59

10-23-2003, 10:04 AM

LONDON (Reuters) - Six British schoolboys were rushed to hospital after taking the erection-enhancing drug Viagra at lunchtime for a dare, the school said on Thursday.

Forest School in Winnersh, southern England said paramedics were called after a fellow student told teachers about the 13-year-olds' prank.

"It is believed that a pupil brought the tablets in from home into the all-boys school and shared them with five friends," the local education authority said in a statement.

The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the school as saying: "By the time the afternoon lessons began, there was no hiding what they had done."

Paramedics took the six squirming boys to the nearby Royal Berkshire Hospital, where they were monitored until the effects wore off.

"The school has a strict no drugs policy and a pupil will be temporarily excluded for actions which placed other pupils at risk," the education authority added.

dropKickMurphy

10-23-2003, 04:44 PM

Talk about pulling a boner...

bideau

11-19-2003, 10:44 AM

Fumbling robber neglects to cut eye holes in disguise
11/19/2003

MODESTO, Calif. (AP) -- Talk about being robbed blind.

Police said a masked man who robbed a Modesto bank Monday forgot to cut eye holes into his disguise, occasionally lifting up a corner of the flannel cloth to see his feet as he fumbled his way through the heist, and crashing into the Oak Valley Community Bank's steel door frame on the way out.

The robbery was successful, and the man, who was wearing a pink shirt, big white gardening gloves and tight jeans, was last seen driving away with an accomplice and an undisclosed amount of money, Detective Tom Blake said.

Police did not return messages Tuesday asking whether the man had been caught.

bideau

11-19-2003, 02:03 PM

MOSCOW (AFP) - The alcohol-hardened winner of a vodka drinking marathon in southwest Russia outpaced all his rivals, but failed to collect his prize of ten bottles of the prized spirit -- after dying on the spot, ITAR-TASS reported.

The other five competitors ended up in emergency care in hospital, and prosecutors in the city of Volgodonsk have filed charges of involuntary homicide against the organisers of the weekend drinking contest, the news agency added. The participants of the event, which took place in a bar, were invited to down half-litre glasses of the Russian national drink and refill as much as they could from buckets filled to the brim with vodka.

The rules allowed them to accompany the vodka, as is traditional in Russia, with sausage, black bread and mustard.
The organisers will also be charged with breaking the law on advertising, which forbids staging events which promote the consumption of alcohol. The report did not say how much the contest casualties had drunk.

In 2002, 40,000 Russians died from alcohol poisoning and it is not uncommon for Russian males to down a litre of the liquid on a night out.

Ottawapatty

11-20-2003, 08:59 AM

This isn't really news, but on a recent business trip to Montreal I was in a sports store and they had (in the football section) a 12 Brady Expos Jersey. It was going for $129 and I thought it was kinda neat because of the fact he was drafted in the 18th round of the 1995 Major League Baseball draft as a catcher by the Montreal Expos. Just a funny little thing -- definiatly weird.

Matt

bideau

11-25-2003, 08:54 AM

ELIZABETHTOWN, Ky. (AP) -- If you move to Kentucky you better be prepared to bathe -- at least once a year.

A state law that mandates people bathe at least once in 12 months is just one of many unusual statutes that are or have been on the books.

Another state law, for example, stated that "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."

The law was later amended with: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to female horses."

Other unusual laws include a year in prison for anyone who throws eggs, or tomatoes, at a public speaker. It also is unlawful to dye a baby chick, duckling or rabbit and offer it for sale unless six or more are for sale at the same time.

"Sometimes unusual laws have a little sense behind them," said D. Dee Shaw, attorney for the city. "Sometimes they don't."

Undertaker #59

12-01-2003, 08:45 AM

LONDON (Reuters) - Wanted: women to test new orgasm machine.

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

"I thought people would be beating my door down to become part of the trial," pain specialist Dr Stuart Meloy told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

But so far only one woman has completed the first stage of the trial, with apparently breathtaking results, and a second has agreed to take part.

Meloy, of Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is hoping to find eight more volunteers willing to have electrodes inserted in their spine and be connected to a pacemaker-size machine implanted under the skin to heighten their sexual pleasure.

The married woman who tested the machine, dubbed an orgasmatron, had not had an orgasm for four years. But during the nine days she used it, she had several.

"She even told me she had the first multiple orgasm of her life using the device," said Meloy.

He stumbled on the unexpected side-effect while using a spinal cord stimulator a few years ago to treat a patient suffering with severe back pain. The woman had already had back surgery for degenerative disk disease and fusion surgery.

When Meloy placed the electrodes into a specific spot on her spine to find nerve bundles carrying pain signals to the brain, she moaned with delight.

"You're going to have to teach my husband how to do that," he quoted her as saying.

The tiny impulses of electricity applied to the electrodes seemed to have turned on the patient's orgasm button.

Although the device has been compared to the orgasmatron featured in the 1973 Woody Allen film "Sleeper", Meloy envisions patients using it temporarily to retrain their sexual response.

The women in the trial described it as "really excellent foreplay."

Although some medical experts are sceptical about the procedure and say a vibrator can produce the same results, Meloy believes it could help to improve sexual response in women who cannot have orgasms and might even help men as well.

A full implant of the device would cost about 13,000 pounds.

"I don't see it any differently from procedures such as breast implants," Meloy told the magazine.

bideau

12-03-2003, 07:02 AM

12/2/2003
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - They have tried aerial assaults and stiff jail sentences. Now Colombian officials have a new and unlikely weapon to combat the cocaine trade: push-up bras and thongs.

Some 900 peasant women in Colombia are set to make racy lingerie and sell it to French supermarket chain Carrefour under a U.N.-backed program aimed at encouraging impoverished farmers and their families to stop growing drug crops.

"We thought it was a very original idea. These are regions where there are drug crops and people need legal jobs," said Thierry Rostan of the U.N. Office for Drug Control and Crime Prevention in Bogota.

Despite a fierce U.S.-backed campaign to spray drug crops with herbicide and impose longer jail terms, Colombia remains the world's No 1. producer of cocaine.

The lingerie, which includes bras and lacy panties, will be made at clothing and shoe plants in the southern coffee-rich province of Cauca, which has seen a spike of cocaine crops due to the collapse of world coffee prices.

Fernando Pomez, general manager of the factories, said he hoped the Carrefour deal, finalized last week, would generate up to $141,000 in sales next year.

Hawg73

12-03-2003, 08:03 AM

Two hunters from Michigan -- (true story) This is from a radio program, a
true report of an incident in Michigan:
_
A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500 and has $560
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course
all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns,
a dog, and of course the new vehicle.
_
They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some
kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to
float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a
wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more
effort than an ice-hole drill.
_
So, out of the back of the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite
with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into
consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a
location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator truck),
because they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they
run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting
explosion.
_
They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a couple of
paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog?? Let's
talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING.
Especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at
a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite
with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men
yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered
on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The
shotgun is loaded with #8 buckshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another
shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of
course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog
takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck.
_
The men continue to yell as they run. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still
hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off
after his master. Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the
bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing
there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
_
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use
of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those
$560.00 a month payments!!! And you thought your day was not going well?

Undertaker #59

12-03-2003, 09:11 AM

LONDON (Reuters) - No embarrassment will be spared on Wednesday when rock star Sting presents one of Britain's least-desired literary awards -- the Bad Sex in Fiction Award.

Now in its 11th year, the dubious honor is awarded by the Literary Review magazine for the most inept description of sexual intercourse in a novel.

Nominated authors for this year's prize include John Updike, Paul Theroux, Paulo Coelho and Alan Parker.

Among the climactic passages in the contest is one from former BBC radio executive Rod Liddle's "Too Beautiful for You."

"She came with the exhilarating whoops and pant-hoots of a troop of Rhesus monkeys, which was flattering, if alarming."

Motoring themes are to the fore. In Tama Janowitz's "Peyton Amberg" a lover's intimate probing of the heroine is "as if he was searching for lost car keys," while in Aniruddha Bahal's "Bunker 13" a female partner "picks up a Bugatti's momentum."

Musical metaphors are also well represented.

The multi-orgasmic female narrator of Paolo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes" reaches Heaven -- "I was the earth, the mountains, the tigers, the rivers that flowed into the lakes, the lake that became the sea."

Sting, who once boasted that yoga had improved his sexual endurance, will present the prize Wednesday evening after each of the competing passages have been read to a 500-strong audience.

Previous winners include AA Gill, Sebastian Faulks and Melvyn Bragg.

bideau

12-04-2003, 12:09 PM

And there's a winner in the Bad Sex in Fiction contest, brought to our attention by UT59:

An Indian investigative journalist Wednesday won Britain's little-coveted Bad Sex in Fiction Award for a turbo-charged account of a lovers' tryst that likens their amours to a speeding Bugatti sports car.

Aniruddha Bahal, who posed as an arms dealer to expose an Indian military bribery scandal in 2001, flew to London to receive the prize from rock singer Sting before an audience of 500 people.

Now in its 11th year, the dubious honor is awarded by the Literary Review magazine for the most inept description of sexual intercourse in a novel.

Bahal beat rival nominees including John Updike, Paul Theroux and Paulo Coelho, thanks to a passage from his novel "Bunker 13."

Bahal's hero says he feels like an "ancient Aryan warlord" after discovering a Swastika shaved into an intimate part of his female companion's anatomy.

As the temperature between the two rises, Bahal shifts gear in a blur of motoring metaphors.

"She picks up a Bugatti's momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen's steady trot.

"Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she's eating up the road with all cylinders blazing."

bideau

12-12-2003, 07:44 AM

Jealous wife cuts off husband's penis
12/12/2003

MANILA, Philippines -- A jealous wife cut off her sleeping husband's penis after finding a text message from another women on his mobile phone, a newspaper reported Friday.

Antonio Llanesiras, 30, was being treated at the Pasay City General Hospital.

Surgeons there saw little chance of reattaching the plumber's severed organ, which was brought in by the wife carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth, according to the Manila Standard.

It wasn't immediately clear if charges will be filed against the woman.

Undertaker #59

12-18-2003, 10:20 AM

PARIS (AFP) - Every year, thousands of news stories get overlooked, lost (news - web sites) beneath the welter of major international events.

They are, for the most part, simple matters with a human dimension, not involving world leaders, war or other political upheaval, stories which illustrate the extraordinary in the everyday, the amusing, absurd, outlandish and the downright bizarre occurrences which can befall any of us.

Here, then, is a selection of some of those "offbeat" stories which offer an insight into human nature but which may have been overshadowed by more weightier news items in 2003:

BEJA, Portugal - A school janitor set a teenager's leg on fire in an attempt to help the youth recover from an injury he suffered in a fall. The 14-year-old said the janitor applied alcohol to his injured leg and then set it on fire with a lighter. "He told me 'This is what we used to do in the war'. I told him I wasn't in a war," said Antonio Pereira, who was treated for first and second degree burns.

OSLO - A state visit to Norway by Kyrgyzstan President Askar Akajev ended in diplomatic disarray when none of his hosts wanted to accept his gift, a pair of extremely rare and expensive Taigan puppy dogs, of which there are only about 100 left. The president was told at Trondheim airport in the north of the country that he could not bring them into Norway, which has strict quarantine rules. To make matters worse, it quickly transpired that neither Prime Minister Kjell Magne Bondevik nor King Harald wanted to the accept the 13-week old pups.

MOSGIEL, New Zealand - Organisers of a Christmas grotto banned children from sitting on Santa's knee because they feared being held responsible if anything untoward happened. Instead, the children had to sit next to him, on specially decorated "elf chairs", as they discuss their Christmas wish list. Graham Glass, who dressed up as Father Christmas for the event, was clearly insulted. "It's bloody ridiculous -- I can't believe we have become so politically correct," he said.

HELSINKI - A Finnish judge who often rules in drink-driving cases landed on the other side of the bench when she was charged with being drunk in charge of a court. The judge, a woman in her late 50s, was trying a criminal case when lawyers said they believed she was inebriated and an alcohol test showed her blood-alcohol level was more than three times over Finland's legal limit for driving.

VOLGODONSK, Russia - Alexander Nakonechny triumphed at a vodka drinking marathon after downing three half-litre mugs in quick succession but was unable to collect his prize of 10 bottles of the stuff when he dropped dead on the spot (news - web sites). The contest also left four other men fighting for their lives at the local hospital but a woman who took part managed to stagger out of the clinic a few hours after being rushed there and having her stomach pumped.

ISTANBUL - A woman locked her rich industrialist husband naked in the bathroom for three years claiming he was mentally disturbed. His crime? Taking three showers a day. Orhan Babutcu, 41, was found naked with a bowl on the floor for his food. "Her goal was to make me sick so that I die and she inherits my fortune," he said, adding that his wife had been living it up with other men while he was locked in the bathroom.

ZURICH - A Swiss-based underwear maker has developed a high-tech bra which it claims will help women quit smoking thanks to perfumed capsules which give cigarettes an unpleasant taste and soothe withdrawal symptoms. Triumph International said the capsules contain lavender scent, which has sedative properties, as well as normally sweet-smelling jasmine that alters the taste of cigarettes. The company said the bra was also treated with liquid titanium to break down cigarette smoke.

KUALA LUMPUR - A Malaysian man who sought treatment for swelling in his eye had a shock when doctors found a six centimetre length of chopstick embedded just beneath his brain. The chopstick, which ran from under his right eye through his nose and to the back of his left eye, was believed to have been lodged there five years ago during an attack by unknown assailants.

ESKISEHIR, Turkey - A disgruntled father has complained to the European Court of Human Rights after a doctor allegedly botched his 11-year-old son's circumcision. Seyfettin Aydinoglu said the four doctors who carried out the operation, which is required by Islam, were drunk at the time and chopped off part of his penis instead of removing only the foreskin. The hospital denied the accusation, saying the boy's penis was deformed years ago when he fell into a well.

ROME - A Roman Catholic charity in Italy has set up a helpline for a neglected group of sufferers -- the clients of prostitutes. The aptly-named Don Giovanni Sandona, head of the charity Caritas, cited the torment endured by thousands of people who pay for sex and said: "It's no longer possible to face up to the problem of prostitution without analysing and helping the clients of prostitutes."

LANCIANI, Italy - An Italian couple were given suspended jail sentences for indecent exposure after being caught making love in their parked car. Nothing unusual in that, except that rather against the odds the game couple were aged 86 and 74 and they were denounced by a group of prudish teenaged schoolgirls.

LAGOS - A doctor was shot dead by a patient who was testing the potency of an anti-bullet charm the doctor had prepared for him. Ashi Terfa died when patient Umaa Akor fired a gun at his head after he had tied the charm around his neck. The man was charged with culpable homicide and released on bail as police said the motive to kill could not be established as the doctor had asked him to shoot him to test the charm.

HSINCHU, Taiwan - An 82-year-old woman is threatening to sue her 90-year-old husband after he was found having an extramarital affair with another woman, aged 80. The two were discovered in flagrante delecto when police and the wife searched a hostel and the errant husband told them he was love with the younger woman and did not regret what he had done.

SANTIAGO - After living together for 57 years, Isolina Ojeda, 107, and her 86-year-old lover Oscar Martinez finally decided to make it official by getting married. After the ceremony, the blushing bride, slightly hard of hearing, said: "We had to get married, as God intended. It's a sin to live the way we were living."

bideau

12-19-2003, 10:04 AM

12/19/2003

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- A 140-pound rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said.

Adrian Castillo Ramirez allegedly tried to sexually assault a 24-year-old Bakersfield prostitute who was nearly twice his weight.

But she took his knife, stripped him naked and paraded him in front of other prostitutes, after asking how many of them had ever been forced into sex at knifepoint. Then she tried to take him -- still naked -- to the police station, reports said.

Castillo was charged with failing to register as a sex offender, and with committing forcible sex acts on the 24-year-old and on a 37-year-old woman in a previous incident. He was convicted of four counts of rape in 1988.

Castillo pleaded innocent Wednesday, and is being held on $250,000 bail, police said.

Undertaker #59

01-08-2004, 11:24 AM

OLYMPIA, Wash. - What kind of friends coat your apartment — and nearly everything in it — with tinfoil while you're away? Here's a hint: One of the only objects that escaped the shiny treatment was a book titled "Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends."

Chris Kirk found his downtown Olympia apartment encased in aluminum foil when he returned home Monday night from a trip to Los Angeles.

The walls, ceiling, cabinets and everything in between shimmered, after the prank orchestrated by Kirk's longtime friend, Luke Trerice, 26, who was staying in the apartment while Kirk was away.

"He's known for large-scale strangeness," Kirk, 33, told The Olympian. "He warned me that he would be able to touch my stuff, but it didn't sound so bad."

Trerice, who lives in Las Vegas, and a small group of friends draped the apartment with about 4,000 square feet of aluminum foil, which cost about $100.

Not surprisingly, the idea was hatched on New Year's Eve.

"It was just a spur of the moment thing," Trerice said. "I really don't even consider it art. I consider it a psychology project. ... He seems to be upbeat, so I consider this a success. "

No detail was too small or too time-consuming. The toilet paper was unrolled, wrapped in foil, then rolled back up again. The friends covered Kirk's book and compact disc collections but made sure each CD case could open and shut normally. They even used foil on each coin in Kirk's spare change.

And to sweeten the theme, they left silver Hershey's kisses sprinkled throughout the apartment.

"The toilet was hard. The molding around the doorways took a very long time," Trerice said.

Aside from "Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends," which doesn't include this particular trick, only a portrait of his girlfriend, the bed and a bath mat were left unfoiled.

"He took special pains not to move anything," Kirk said.

A foil-encased picture hanging outside his apartment was Kirk's first clue that something inside was amiss.

"I heard him open the door and gasp and start laughing," said Beth Kelly, who lives in an apartment down the hall. "I love the quarters. It's almost more funny realizing the things that were left unwrapped."

Andras Jones, who lives on the same floor, became curious about what was transpiring in Kirk's apartment as he noticed "a parade of strange characters" going in and out.

Since Kirk's return the entire building has been buzzing about the transformation, Jones said.

"There's a party atmosphere down by the room," Jones said. "Of course, everyone has their favorite part. I think the kitchen is just amazing."

Kirk's awestruck neighbors and friends kept him up until late Monday night. He hasn't started unpacking his belongings and isn't sure when he will. "

"As I was trying to sleep last night, I realized that, actually, it's creepy," Kirk said.

And as for whether Trerice will ever be allowed to stay again at the apartment unsupervised, Kirk said: "I don't know. We'll see."

But Trerice hopes Kirk will find a way to get him back.

"I'm going to be insulted if he doesn't try," Trerice said. "It's kind of a challenge."

bideau

01-14-2004, 02:26 PM

1/14/2004

SINGAPORE -- Women in Singapore are buying their husbands special Chinese New Year briefs, hoping to bring them good fortune and increase their sexual potency.

Women are also buying themselves "Funky Monkey" panties specially designed for the year of the monkey, featuring smiling cartoon primates. The Lunar New Year begins on Jan. 22 and is celebrated by the Chinese diaspora around the globe.

But the most popular style is bright red briefs for men featuring Chinese characters for wealth and prosperity, said Jeannette Cheong, owner of the underwear store ButtOn Trendy Undies.

Cheong said she has sold more than a thousand pairs of the festive undergarments, priced at 5.90 Singapore dollars (US$3.50), since Christmas.

"The Year of the Monkey is definitely more marketable than the other zodiac signs," Cheong said. "Because the cartoon designs for women's underwear are cuter and more appealing."

The items are most popular with middle-aged women who tell Cheong they want to spice up their love lives, she said.

She said she has also received bulk orders from companies looking for Chinese New Year gifts for their staff.

More unusual buyers of the lucky underwear include gray-haired men shopping for themselves and "mamasans" -- local slang for women who arranges sexual liaisons -- looking for "corporate gifts" for their clients, Cheong said.

pookie

01-24-2004, 01:52 PM

How bizarre. Imagine something like this happening in current times.

Boston's Great Molasses Flood of 1919 (http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Northeast/01/23/molasses.flood.ap/index.html)

BizarroAnnihilus

02-05-2004, 11:26 AM

Original article here..... (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=2&u=/ap/20040205/ap_on_fe_st/cow_hairpieces)

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Three livestock exhibitors at last year's Ohio State Fair have been disqualified for allegedly outfitting their Holstein cows with hairpieces.

State Fair inspectors said the three glued or painted hair from another part of the animal or from another animal to create straighter backs on the cows and enhance their appearance in the show ring.

Kreg Krebs and his brother Kenneth of Fredericksburg, and Scott Long of Clayton, Mich., could be required to forfeit all winnings, said Department of Agriculture spokeswoman Melanie Wilt. The winnings had been withheld by fair officials.

Wilt said state inspectors at the fair discovered the fake hair when the cows were leaving the show ring on Aug. 10.

The men have 30 days to request a hearing in which they could present their cases to an independent hearing officer.

Bushy T Beaver

02-05-2004, 12:01 PM

A Musical Commentary:

Super Bowl is Gay (http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/gaynew2.wmv )

(right-click link to download and listen locally)

pookie

02-05-2004, 12:50 PM

Originally posted by Bushy T Beaver
A Musical Commentary:

Super Bowl is Gay (http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/gaynew2.wmv )

(right-click link to download and listen locally)

That's nothing short of alarming Bushy. That little kid needs his mouth washed out with soap. And somebody needs to teach him a guitar chord other than that mashed down sorry semblance of a D chord.

Future suicide victim?

Bushy T Beaver

02-05-2004, 02:42 PM

Originally posted by pookie
That's nothing short of alarming Bushy. That little kid needs his mouth washed out with soap. And somebody needs to teach him a guitar chord other than that mashed down sorry semblance of a D chord.

Future suicide victim?

I don't know why and it's probably not fair, but something about himreminds me of Eugene Chung.

dchester

02-05-2004, 06:16 PM

Originally posted by Bushy T Beaver
A Musical Commentary:

Super Bowl is Gay (http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/gaynew2.wmv )

(right-click link to download and listen locally)

He talked about being gay, and yet he didn't seem all that happy to me.

:jester:
________
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BizarroAnnihilus

02-11-2004, 08:49 AM

Original Article here (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040210/ap_on_fe_st/france_macabre_marriage)

NICE, France - Dressed in a demure black suit, a 35-year-old Frenchwoman married her dead boyfriend Tuesday — a macabre exchange of vows that required authorization from the French president.

Under French law, Christelle Demichel became both bride and widow as a result of the ceremony, which was performed at Nice City Hall on the French Riviera.

The deceased groom, a former policeman identified as Eric, was not present at the ceremony. He was killed by a drunk driver in September 2002.

Demichel told LCI television she was fully aware that "it could seem shocking to marry someone who is dead," but said that her fiance's absence from her life had not dimmed her feelings for him.

According to French law, a marriage between a living person and a dead person can take place as long as preliminary civic formalities have been completed that show the couple had planned to marry. Before the ceremony can take place, it must be approved by the French president.

Ottawapatty

02-11-2004, 08:52 AM

Wow they won't let women wear religious head garbs, but marry a corpse sounds fine to them, I hate to sound racist, but I live in Canada where you need to speak french for ANY decent job and it is one of the main reasons I want to migrate to states. I am really starting to hate the French -- got I hate being racist, but I can't help it.

BizarroAnnihilus

02-11-2004, 09:01 AM

Originally posted by Ottawapatty
-- got I hate being racist, but I can't help it.

Actually, that wouldn't make you a racist (if I have my facts straight...). It COULD make you a nationalist (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=nationalist) though!

Actually I think dis-liking the french is more of a hobby. I.E.: the new movie coming out this year, Eurotrip.

kirjtc2

02-11-2004, 09:42 AM

Originally posted by Ottawapatty
Wow they won't let women wear religious head garbs, but marry a corpse sounds fine to them, I hate to sound racist, but I live in Canada where you need to speak french for ANY decent job and it is one of the main reasons I want to migrate to states. I am really starting to hate the French -- got I hate being racist, but I can't help it.

What bothers me even more is that English Canada bends over backwards for the French; but you can't even find so much as a "STOP" sign in Quebec.

Not sure if you've heard about him in Ottawa, but here in NB we have a man named Mario Charlebois. He took the city of Moncton to court because he couldn't get a building permit (or something along those lines) in French. The judge ruled in his favour, and declared all city by-laws void because they were in English only.

He then took Saint John to court over an English parking ticket (now, francophones in Saint John are rarer than hen's teeth) and won there too. He almost readily admitted he went to Saint John for the express purpose of getting a parking ticket!

The province then passed a law requiring all municipalities over a certain size to translate all by-laws and provide bilingual services at considerable cost, which could easily be better spent elsewhere.

Mario Charlebois speaks perfect English, by the way. The Acadian Society even tried to distance themselves from him.

Meanwhile, in Quebec a restaurant was fined for having a garbage can that said "push" on the handle...

What a country...

JPK (starting to miss the COR party :) )

Ottawapatty

02-11-2004, 09:45 AM

Some people's children . . .

Ballbustah

02-11-2004, 05:08 PM

I'm a direct Acadian decendant.

Hawg73

02-11-2004, 06:42 PM

Originally posted by Ballbustah
I'm a direct Acadian decendant.

Ok folks, Ix-nay on the ench-fray jokes.

We don't want ballbustah on our case.

bideau

03-15-2004, 02:29 PM

3/15/2004

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish Benedictine nun is facing jail for driving a tractor into a car while drunk outside her convent in southwestern Poland, police said on Friday.

The 45-year-old nun will be charged with drunk-driving and causing an accident, which carries a prison sentence of up to two years, Dariusz Waluch, police spokesman in the southwestern Polish town of Dzierzoniow, told local news agency PAP.

He said the nun was 17 times over the country's legal alcohol limit for driving.

Undertaker #59

03-16-2004, 11:08 AM

ALISO VIEJO, Calif. - City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production.

Then they learned, to their chagrin, that dihydrogen monoxide — H2O for short — is the scientific term for water.

"It's embarrassing," said City Manager David J. Norman. "We had a paralegal who did bad research."

The paralegal apparently fell victim to one of the many official looking Web sites that have been put up by pranksters to describe dihydrogen monoxide as "an odorless, tasteless chemical" that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled.

As a result, the City Council of this Orange County suburb had been scheduled to vote next week on a proposed law that would have banned the use of foam containers at city-sponsored events. Among the reasons given for the ban were that they were made with a substance that could "threaten human health and safety."

The measure has been pulled from the agenda, although Norman said the city may still eventually ban foam cups.

"If you get Styrofoam into the water and it breaks apart, it's virtually impossible to clean up," Norman said.

03-17-2004, 08:15 PM

The paralegal apparently fell victim to one of the many official looking Web sites that have been put up by pranksters to describe dihydrogen monoxide as "an odorless, tasteless chemical" that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled.

ROFL Ahhh government. Odorless and tasteless. Too funny.

bideau

04-02-2004, 08:36 AM

4/2/2004

WOODLAWN, Md. (AP) -- A brawl broke out during an anger management assembly at a suburban high school.

Two people were arrested and 11 students were suspended after a shoving match escalated into a melee during Thursday's assembly.

Authorities said a confrontation between a student's mother and a group of girls who had been bothering her daughter turned into a shouting match, and led to pushing and hitting, before the crowd of 750 students erupted into "chaos," said C. Anthony Thompson, principal of Woodlawn High School.

The melee began as students on stage acted out peaceful ways to resolve conflict during the assembly was organized by Sheppard Pratt Health System.

"People were climbing over seats and started fighting about stupid stuff," said ninth-grader Melissa Parks.

"Unfortunately, that original incident at the assembly became the catalyst for other fights," said Douglas J. Neilson, a spokesman for Baltimore County schools.

It took about 15 minutes to defuse the situation, Thompson said.

The mother, who was not identified because she had not been brought before a commissioner, was to be charged with trespassing and disrupting school activities, said Officer Shawn Vinson, a spokesman for the police department. The daughter, who was not identified because she is a minor, was to be charged with second-degree assault, he said.

Thompson said some of the suspended students might be recommended for expulsion.

dchester

04-02-2004, 10:20 PM

Originally posted by NoRespect
ROFL Ahhh government. Odorless and tasteless. Too funny. Facts about Dihydrogen Monoxide (http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html)

What are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

* Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
* Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
* Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
* DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
* Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
* Contributes to soil erosion.
* Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
* Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
* Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
* Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere.
* Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

:Lecture:
________
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Tiger_69

04-04-2004, 09:47 PM

Thanks for the heads up, dchester. It seems like nothing to be taken lightly.

I found this interesting about baby food...as an additive to food products, including jarred baby food and baby formula, and even in many soups, carbonated beverages and supposedly "all-natural" fruit juices My children were fed lots of jarred food and formula when they were infants but they never took to "pediasure" Electrolyte imbalance. They always vomited when served it. Is there a correlation there that someone here may know of?

bideau

04-05-2004, 09:01 AM

Stripper mom goes to jail

MERCER, Pennsylvania -- A Pennsylvania mom is going to jail for allegedly stripping at her teenage son's birthday party.

Prosecutors charged that 35-year-old Patricia Johnson provided the entertainment when plans to ride go-carts fizzled.

Yesterday, a judge sentenced Johnson to serve three to 15 months in jail. She pleaded guilty last month to a misdemeanor corruption charge and furnishing alcohol to minors.

But Johnson didn't admit she stripped for the 13- to 16-year-old boys at a hotel. Authorities say Johnson bought beer for her son and three friends -- and licked their faces while she did her striptease act.

Johnson says her unusual behavior was fueled by pills and alcohol.

Undertaker #59

04-05-2004, 09:30 AM

That boy is going to be messed up.

dchester

04-05-2004, 06:47 PM

Originally posted by dchester
Facts about Dihydrogen Monoxide (http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html)

What are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

* Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
* Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
* Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
* DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
* Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
* Contributes to soil erosion.
* Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
* Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
* Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
* Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere.
* Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

:Lecture:
Toxin Du Jour: Dihydrogen Monoxide (http://www.snopes.com/toxins/dhmo.htm)

In 1997, Nathan Zohner, a 14-year-old student at Eagle Rock Junior High School in Idaho Falls, based his science fair project on a report similar to the one reproduced above. Zohner's project, titled "How Gullible Are We?", involved presenting this report about "the dangers of dihyrogen monoxide" to fifty ninth-grade students and asking them what (if anything) should be done about the chemical.

Forty-three students favored banning it, six were undecided, and only one correctly recognized that 'dihydrogen monoxide' is actually H2O ? plain old water.

Zohner's analysis of the results he obtained won him first prize in the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair; garnered him scads of attention from newspapers, magazines, radio and TV stations, universities, and congresspeople; and prompted the usual round of outcries about how our ignorant citizenry doesn't read critically and can be easily misled. In other words, a tempest in a teapot.

>)
________
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dchester

04-05-2004, 06:53 PM

Teen who posted own photo charged with child porn (http://www.post-gazette.com/breaking/20040329pornp6.asp)

State police have charged a 15-year-old Latrobe girl with child pornography for taking photos of herself and posting them on the Internet.

Police said the girl, whose identity they withheld, photographed herself in various states of undress and performing a variety of sexual acts. She then sent the photos to people she met in chat rooms.

A police report did not say how police learned about the girl. They found dozens of pictures of her on her computer.

She has been charged with sexual abuse of children, possession of child pornography and dissemination of child pornography.

Police said they are trying to identify all the people who receive photos from the girl.

:huh:
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jim_vh

04-05-2004, 09:00 PM

Originally posted by Hawg73
Good thread.

My all time favorite. Not even sure if it is true but it was reported as one of the Darwin Awards a while back.

In early 1983, a man from the Los Angeles area had a great idea. Why not fly instead of drive to his girlfriend's house? The logistics of how he would accomplish this were ingeniously simple. He would get a lightweight pool lounge chair. He would attach helium weather balloons all around the chair. Then he would ,,,,.

the snopes version (http://www.snopes.com/spoons/noose/balloon.htm)of this story is a little weirder ...

bideau

04-08-2004, 08:49 AM

Easter Bunny whipped in church play
4/8/2004

GLASSPORT, Pa. (AP) -- First, the Passion of the Christ. Now, the torment of the Easter Bunny?

It may not have been as gruesome as Mel Gibson's movie, but many parents and children got upset when a church trying to teach about Jesus' crucifixion performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs.

People who attended Saturday's show at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny," and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.

Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. "He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped," Salzmann said.

Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn't meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.

"The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ," Bickerton said.

Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

"It was very disturbing," Norelli-Burke said. "I could not believe what I saw. It wasn't anything I was expecting."[/QUOTE]

Ottawapatty

04-12-2004, 12:17 PM

In 1976, Mike Carmichael of Alexandria, Indiana, began applying layers of paint to a baseball hung in a shed behind his home. By 2004 (18,000 layers of paint later), the ball measured nearly three feet in diameter and weighed 1,300 pounds!

Ottawapatty

04-12-2004, 12:20 PM

Not really news but classic Phin's abuse!

Don Shula: Maine Hero

While vacationing in a small town in Maine one year, legendary Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula went to see a movie with his family. As they entered the theater and walked down the aisle, everyone rose and began to applaud.

"It's simply amazing," Shula remarked. "See, I forgot the power of network television and the level of interest in the game today. These people must get every Dolphins game all the way up here. And that standing ovation shows how strong they feel about football."

Shortly thereafter, Shula was approached by a man in the audience. "Excuse me, sir," he began. "I don't know who you are, but we're really glad to see you. The manager said if he didn't get four more people tonight, he wasn't going to show the movie!"

nepatsfan93

04-12-2004, 12:24 PM

Casinos Bet on Gambling Addiction Web Site

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Compulsive Australian gamblers seeking help from Gamblers Anonymous are being hit with online casino pop-up advertisements when they visit the Web site of the self-help group, the Daily Telegraph newspaper says.

Australians gambled away a record $11 billion in the year to June 2002 -- nearly two percent of gross domestic product and slightly more than the nation's defense budget, according to national statistics released late last year.

"This is when they least need that temptation. They are reaching out for support. Suddenly cues that allow them to gamble are there," Louise Sharpe, director of the University of Sydney's gambling research unit, told the paper in Friday's editions.

The tabloid said the self-help group cannot block the ads or take legal steps against the online casinos, which are based overseas. Gamblers Anonymous warns visitors to its Web site, www.gamblersanonymous.org.au, not to open the casino ads and is trying to update the Web site so as to stop the ads.

More than 20 percent of the world's poker machines are in Australia, about five times as many as in the United States on a per person basis.

:banghead:

nepatsfan93

04-12-2004, 12:26 PM

Air Marshal Leaves Gun in Airport Restroom

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A federal air marshal accidentally left her gun in a restroom beyond the security checkpoints at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, officials say.

The weapon was discovered by a passenger who alerted an airline employee.

The marshal remained on the job after Thursday's incident when she visited an airport restroom and inadvertently left her gun behind, Dave Adams, spokesman for the Federal Air Marshal Service in Washington, said Saturday.

The restroom was beyond security checkpoints, airport spokeswoman Pat Smith said. So the risk was that someone could have discovered the gun and taken it on a flight.

"Right now we're still doing the investigation," Adams said. "It will determine what disciplinary action will be appropriate."

He declined to identify the marshal for security reasons, but said her work in the past had been "outstanding."

The United States deploys armed air marshals disguised as passengers on thousands of flights each week as part of security measures implemented after the Sept. 11, 2001, hijacked airliner attacks that killed about 3,000 people.

Smith said the incident occurred about 4 p.m. on Thursday when the air marshal went to the restroom. While washing her hands, she placed her gun on a shelf, but forgot to take it with her when she left the room.

Soon afterward, a passenger found the gun and informed an airline employee, who removed it and told police. The gun later was returned to the marshal.

bideau

04-22-2004, 09:14 AM

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa -- Dogs may no longer be the butt of their owners' jokes, thanks to Frank Morosky.

Morosky, owner of Flat-D Innovations, has developed a product to reduce the odor of flatulence in dogs.

Two years ago, Morosky, who runs the business with his partner, Brian Conant in Hawaii, developed a similar product for people. He said he could only laugh when people first asked if he could make it work for dogs.

"For a year, we said, 'No, that's stupid. Nobody would buy that for a dog,"' Morosky said.

But Morosky changed his mind after a customer asked him to custom make a pair of full underwear using his material. It was during that project that he realized making charcoal-lined panties for dogs might just work.

Morosky has developed two versions that will go on sale later this month. One, similar to a G-string, will sell for about $20. The other, a denim diaper with a detachable charcoal pad inside, will sell for about $50.

Veterinarian David Graeff of Animal Care Hospital, said flatulence is common in dogs, but is not a medical problem.

"I think it would be great if they could find a way to keep them (the diapers) on," said Graeff, adding that many dogs won't wear a bandage without tearing it off.

Graeff said pet owners often jokingly blame their own flatulence on their pets.

"Unfortunately," he said, "the dogs do get blamed for this, no matter what."

bideau

05-13-2004, 10:01 AM

Season ticket holders may get unlimited beer
May 12, 2004

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) -- The Tampa Bay Lightning is hoping to tap into larger crowds by offering unlimited free beer to season ticket holders.

But the sudsy sale may not reach its goal if safe-driving advocates have their way.

Police and several area chapters of Mothers Against Drunk Driving say the hockey team's offer is irresponsible.

"Why attach alcohol to a season-ticket plan? It's almost encouraging people to drink more than they should because it is free," said Sgt. Chris Velar, who runs the Police Department's drunken driving squad.

During the first Eastern Conference playoff game between the Lightning and the Philadelphia Flyers Saturday, the St. Pete Times Forum's main scoreboard advertised the offer. Those who paid $100 toward 2004-05 season tickets were eligible for unlimited free beer during the game.

About 25 of the 21,000 people at the game signed up for season tickets, said team spokesman Bill Wickett.

People who are already intoxicated aren't served beer and free taxi rides are provided to patrons who believe they have had too much to drink, Wickett said.

BizarroAnnihilus

06-15-2004, 04:54 PM

This is part of a
bigger article (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=796&e=2&u=/eo/20040607/en_celeb_eo/14261) chiefly about David Hasselhoff's drunk driving problem. I was more interested in the end of the article:

In other Hasselhoff career advancement news, Website AllHipHop.com reported last month that Ice-T plans to produce a rap album by the thesp, who will assume the moniker Hassel the Hoff for hip-hop purposes.

"The man is a legend, and we are going to show a whole new side of him," Ice-T told Britain's Sun newspaper.

We're thinking that Hasselhoff's rap talents are a side of him we'd prefer stayed under wraps.

Hassel The Hoff? :D

Someone please tell me they're kidding...

bideau

06-18-2004, 01:01 PM

Note to clients -- go for sex as well as the money
By Reuters | June 18, 2004

LONDON -- A major investment bank is advising clients to have sex, get more sleep and stop equating happiness with money -- turning the industry image of hard-nosed dealmakers on its head.

German-owned Dresdner Kleinwort Wasserstein offers the advice in a note to clients by its strategist James Montier.

"I thought it was time that I reminded people there was more to life than watching screens every day," he told Reuters.

The note recommends clients have sex, ideally with someone they love, reflect on the good things in life, give their bodies enough sleep and exercise regularly.

But they shouldn't get too carried away.

"I still need a little bit of money just to keep me happy," said Montier.

bideau

06-22-2004, 09:44 AM

Doctor jailed for billing for sex
June 22, 2004

PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) - An Oregon doctor, who had sex with a patient and then charged the state about $5,000 for his "treatments," has been jailed for 60 days and stripped of his license, officials said on Friday.

Dr. Randall J. Smith, 50, told the woman that massaging her "trigger points" would ease her pelvic pain. The treatments led to sexual intercourse and Smith billed the Oregon Health Plan for the 45-minute sessions at the Adventist Health Medical Group clinic in Gresham, Oregon, near Portland.

Smith must also perform 200 hours of community service and pay $1,105 in fines and is on probation for 18 months as part of the plea agreement. He also turned in his medical license.

Though he pleaded guilty to submitting false health care claims, a felony, Smith maintained the sex with the 47-year-old woman was consensual.

Adventist repaid about $5,000 to the state, David Russell, clinic administrator for the hospital said.[/B]

BizarroAnnihilus

06-22-2004, 09:50 AM

This is friggin' great...I especially like when Dad is shot with a taser.

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=2&u=/ap/20040622/ap_on_fe_st/family_jailed)

Motorist Pulls Over Deputy in Tennessee
1 hour, 53 minutes ago Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!
By The Associated Press

McMINNVILLE, Tenn. - A motorist's decision to stop a deputy for speeding escalated into a series of incidents than ended with his entire family joining him in jail.

Last week, Lance E. Champion, 23, reportedly pulled in behind Deputy Lt. Stan Hillis across from the local jail and told Hillis he had violated the speed limit. By the end of their conversation, Champion was in custody charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and evading arrest.

Champion called his mother, Janice K. Champion, 48, who arrived with her 17-year-old son. The teen allegedly slapped the hand of a deputy who was gesturing for them to leave the area as Lance Champion's vehicle was about to be towed.

"If you strike an officer, you're going to jail 100 percent of the time," said Sheriff Jackie Matheny.

Mrs. Champion was then taken into custody, charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Officers say she was loud and refused to obey orders.

Her husband Hal Champion, 47, then arrived from church, was shot with a deputy's Taser and taken into custody on similar charges.

All were later freed on bond.

"This is a fine upstanding family," said the Champions' attorney Michael Galligan. "These deputies acted in a harmful and inappropriate manner. We feel their actions violated the law."

Matheny is backing his men: "They have over 40 years of combined experience and excellent work records. They were as surprised by the Champions' conduct as anyone."

dropKickMurphy

06-24-2004, 11:59 AM

This could result in a well-hung jury.....

Source (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html)

-----------------------------------------------
Here Comes The Judge

JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend."

BizarroAnnihilus

06-24-2004, 12:06 PM

Originally posted by dropKickMurphy
This could result in a well-hung jury.....

Source (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html)

I never cease to be amazed as to what human beings will think of next. There really are no limits anymore.....

Moebius

06-24-2004, 12:54 PM

It could definately bring new meaning to the term "Bang the gavel"

Undertaker #59

06-24-2004, 12:59 PM

So he was not wearing any legal briefs?

bideau

06-25-2004, 09:03 AM

Politicians tell men to have more sex
June 25, 2004

BERLIN (Reuters) - Conservative politicians are urging German men to have more sex to boost birthrates or risk being labeled "limp" abroad, a newspaper reported Friday.

Johannes Singhammer, a member of parliament and father of six, said Germany's aging population needed to produce more offspring to sustain its overstretched pension system.

"Children are our future," Singhammer told Germany's Bild newspaper. "Germans need to work more on that again in bed. Things mustn't get to the stage where German men are scoffed at abroad for being limp."

His words were echoed by fellow conservative Armin Klein, who said Germans had become too selfish.

"We need to have the courage to have sex and take the consequences," said Klein, who has two children.

Germany will have the world's oldest population by 2035, according to a report in Germany's Der Spiegel weekly.

BionicPatriot

06-25-2004, 09:05 AM

Originally posted by bideau
Politicians tell men to have more sex
June 25, 2004

BERLIN (Reuters) - Conservative politicians are urging German men to have more sex to boost birthrates or risk being labeled "limp" abroad, a newspaper reported Friday.

Johannes Singhammer, a member of parliament and father of six, said Germany's aging population needed to produce more offspring to sustain its overstretched pension system.

"Children are our future," Singhammer told Germany's Bild newspaper. "Germans need to work more on that again in bed. Things mustn't get to the stage where German men are scoffed at abroad for being limp."

His words were echoed by fellow conservative Armin Klein, who said Germans had become too selfish.

"We need to have the courage to have sex and take the consequences," said Klein, who has two children.

Germany will have the world's oldest population by 2035, according to a report in Germany's Der Spiegel weekly.

Wow....Maybe he has been looking at porn to much lately? Maybe the man is hyped up on his viagra....Who knows. Funny though;)

dropKickMurphy

06-25-2004, 09:29 AM

Originally posted by Undertaker #59
So he was not wearing any legal briefs? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

Oedipus Tex

06-25-2004, 09:31 AM

It's not news, but it is in the newspaper...

http://www.collegehumor.com/img/r/resume.w492.jpg

BizarroAnnihilus

06-28-2004, 10:13 AM

They need to come up with something like this for Raiders and/or Colts fans..... (just put them in the chimp's place and you'll see what I'm talking about :D ).

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040628/ap_on_re_us/lincoln_park_apes)

Lincoln Park Zoo Apes Get to Take Revenge
By LISA SCHENCKER, Associated Press Writer

CHICAGO - The apes at Lincoln Park Zoo are finally getting a chance to take their revenge on people who for years have been pounding their palms against the glass walls of the primates' old home.

At the zoo's new Regenstein Center for African Apes, chimpanzees can touch a panel hidden from public view that will shoot harmless bursts of air at unsuspecting visitors.

"You often hear about chimps spitting or throwing," said Steve Ross, a behaviorist at the zoo. "They do that to get a rise out of the public. This gives them that opportunity but in a safe way."

The feature is one of many in the 55,000-square-foot habitat meant to help people connect with their primate cousins.

Lincoln Park Zoo was already renowned for its primate breeding success, with 45 gorilla births since 1970. With its new facility, opening July 1, it joins a growing number of U.S. zoos striving to make exhibits more exciting for people and more natural for the animals.

Zoo officials hope the exhibit's realistic environments will give visitors new respect for apes and allow scientists to observe the apes acting as they would in the wild.

Its predecessor, the Lester E. Fisher Great Ape House, was dark and cavernous, but the $26 million Regenstein Center, the most expensive facility ever built at the 35-acre zoo, is spacious, airy and green. A downed tree forms a bridge that apes can use to cross a waterfall, and mulch-covered floors imitate a natural forest and are gentler on apes' joints.

The zoo's 24 apes can climb trees and see the John Hancock Center to the right and Lake Michigan to the left.

The primates also can control fans hidden in boulders, helping them moderate the effects of Chicago's muggy summers and icy winters, and touch panels in fake tree trunks that will catapult snacks toward them through grates in the walls.

Many zoos are striving to make their ape exhibits more natural and interactive to serve an increasingly sophisticated public, said Diana DeVaughn, spokeswoman for the Louisville Zoo in Kentucky, which won a top American Zoo and Aquarium Association award last year for its gorilla exhibit.

The Los Angeles Zoo, for instance, made its ape exhibit interactive by letting the animals pull ropes to ring bells near visitors or spray water at people, said Jennie McNary, curator of mammals at the Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens.

"The chimps were smart enough to figure out they could startle people with it," she said.

Ross said he's not yet sure how people or apes will react to the air blasters at Lincoln Park.

Zoo officials hope the habitats will help visitors feel physically and emotionally closer to the apes, zoo president Kevin Bell said. Connecting with the animals could inspire people to care more about helping apes in zoos and in the wild, he said.

Only 375 gorillas now live in U.S. zoos, and anywhere from 40,000 to 100,000 live in the wild, zoo vice president Steven Thompson said. Experts suspect that the wild gorilla population has declined 30 to 50 percent in the past 15 years because of hunting and damage to their natural habitats.

"They're so close to humans," Bell said. "Yet there's very few of these animals left in the wild."

BizarroAnnihilus

06-28-2004, 12:11 PM

Detractors Complain about Mozart Opera (http://launch.yahoo.com/read/news.asp?contentID=218776)

Detractors Complain About Mozart Opera
(AP, 06/28/2004 11:23 AM)

A Mozart opera modernized to feature prostitutes, full-frontal nudity, drugs and sadistic violence has created a storm in Berlin.

The premiere of the "Abduction from the Seraglio" at the Komische Oper last week was met with shouts of "Scandal!" and "That's not Mozart!," and threats by opera house sponsor DaimlerChrysler that it would pull its $24,000 annual funding.

"The overall depiction of sex and violence is absolutely unacceptable," Matthias Kleinert, an adviser to DaimlerChrysler president and chief executive Juergen Schrempp, told the Bild daily.

"When the prostitutes were massacred on stage I had to leave," he told Berlin's BZ daily.

The production, from Spanish director Calixto Bieito, moves the comic opera from an 18th century Turkish palace to a brothel, full of forced prostitution, drug abuse and violence.

The performance has its supporters, and the opera house has reported strong turnouts.

Berlin's top culture official, Thomas Flierl, called the opera "a true reflection of social phenomena," though Komische Oper artistic director Andreas Homoki said DaimlerChrysler's stance was understandable.

It is "legitimate and clear if a trustee withdraws because it can't identify with the theater any more," he told the Berliner Morgenpost.

The opera house receives about $300,000 from corporate and private donations.

BizarroAnnihilus

06-29-2004, 03:04 PM

Therapist Loses License for Shooting Memo (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&ncid=816&e=4&u=/ap/20040628/ap_on_fe_st/shoot_the_message)

OMAHA, Neb. - The Nebraska Health and Human Services (news - web sites) system has revoked the license of a North Platte therapist accused of firing a handgun at a memo that angered him.

Robert Powers, a mental health practitioner and professional counselor, got upset when he received a memo last summer saying only the manager of his office would have the key to certain supply drawers, according to state documents.

Powers took the memo and shot it several times with a .22-caliber handgun before returning it to the office, the document says.

Two days later, he reportedly called the office secretary and said he was too angry to return to work because he "might shoot somebody."

The comment prompted several co-workers to seek protection orders against him.

The state revoked Powers' license to practice as a counselor or therapist on the grounds of unprofessional conduct.

bideau

06-30-2004, 09:12 AM

Drug may offer aphrodisiac for women
June 30, 2004

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A drug that seems to drive female rats mad for sex may offer the first real scientific aphrodisiac for women, U.S. and Canadian researchers said on Monday.

The drug, Palatin Technologies Inc's PT-141, is being developed for use to fight impotence in men, but the researchers said tests showed it also aroused female rats.

"Accordingly, PT-141 may be the first identified pharmacological agent with the capability to treat female sexual desire disorders," they wrote in their report, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

James Pfaus of Concordia University in Montreal, Canada and colleagues there and at Palatin tested the drug on female rats and found it affected their mating behavior.

The female rats flirted more when injected with the drug and Pfaus and his colleagues said: "Females treated with the highest dose of PT-141 also attempted to mount the males." In rats, this is considered a sign of sexual impatience.

dchester

06-30-2004, 09:15 AM

Originally posted by bideau
Drug may offer aphrodisiac for women
June 30, 2004

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A drug that seems to drive female rats mad for sex may offer the first real scientific aphrodisiac for women, U.S. and Canadian researchers said on Monday.

The drug, Palatin Technologies Inc's PT-141, is being developed for use to fight impotence in men, but the researchers said tests showed it also aroused female rats.

"Accordingly, PT-141 may be the first identified pharmacological agent with the capability to treat female sexual desire disorders," they wrote in their report, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

James Pfaus of Concordia University in Montreal, Canada and colleagues there and at Palatin tested the drug on female rats and found it affected their mating behavior.

The female rats flirted more when injected with the drug and Pfaus and his colleagues said: "Females treated with the highest dose of PT-141 also attempted to mount the males." In rats, this is considered a sign of sexual impatience. I think I may buy some stock in Palatin Technologies.
________
vapor genie vaporizer (http://vaporizers.net/vapor-genie)

BizarroAnnihilus

07-02-2004, 11:37 AM

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=3&u=/ap/20040702/ap_on_fe_st/breast_implant_assault)

Strippers Rupture Dancer's Breast Implant

VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Two exotic dancers who punctured a third dancer's breast implant with a broken wine glass onstage have been spared jail time.

According to testimony Wednesday in British Columbia Supreme Court, customers in a downtown nightclub were stunned when two dancers attacked a third after a performance on July 18, 2002, cutting her in the right breast and rupturing her implant.

The attackers got angry because they believe the dancer had a snooty attitude, Justice Deborah A. Satanove was told.

Andrea Hauser, 25, convicted of aggravated assault, was sentenced to a year of community service, a year on probation and payment of $3,750 to the injured dancer for medical expenses.

Shayla Clewis, 25, convicted of assault, received a three-month conditional sentence and three months on probation.

BizarroAnnihilus

07-02-2004, 01:43 PM

Colin Powell Sings Village People Song (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040702/ap_on_re_as/diplomatic_skits)

By SLOBODAN LEKIC, Associated Press Writer

JAKARTA, Indonesia - U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell (news - web sites) donned a hard hat and tucked a hammer in his belt Friday to perform a version of the Village People's hit "YMCA" at the conclusion of Asia's largest security meeting — which tradition says ends with a night of skit and song.

Powell danced alongside five other U.S. officials dressed in fancy dress and blasted out a version of the 1970s disco classic to the delight of foreign ministers from across the Asia-Pacific and Europe.

"President Bush (news - web sites), he said to me, Colin I need you to run the department of state. We are between a rock and a hard place," Powell and his colleagues sang to the tune of the disco classic.

The after-dinner show is an annual highlight of the ASEAN Regional Forum, a time for ministers to loosen up after discussing security issues. Footage of the closed-door event was obtained by Associated Press Television News

The Russian delegation, headed by that country's Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, sang a version of the Beatles "Yellow Submarine" as a women waving a Russian flag ran around the dinner tables.

Indian Foreign Minister counterpart Natwar Singh read a poem before his delegation burst into a song. "I'm not worried — but the audience should be," Singh told The Associated Press before attending the gala dinner.

In 1997 Madeleine Albright (news - web sites), bowled over the ministers when she performed a musical skit dressed as Evita Peron.

The traditional jamboree at the conclusion of the conference is closed to the press, but reporters regularly go out of their way to get the scoop.

dchester

07-05-2004, 12:30 PM

Luckless Casanova trapped stark naked (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5370162)

Drunken Swede found stuck under a gate calls himself 'fine beef'
The Associated Press
Updated: 8:44 a.m. ET July 05, 2004

OSLO, Norway - Police, ambulance and fire crews rescued a drunken Swede found trapped early Monday without any clothes after he tried to crawl under a gate in downtown Oslo.

The 22-year-old, who insisted upon being addressed as something that sounded like ?fine beef? in Swedish, had tried to visit a Norwegian woman at her apartment house in the early hours.

When she refused to let him in, he turned to leave, but found the gate leading to the street from her apartment was locked. He tried to squeeze beneath, but didn?t fit.

So, police said, the young Casanova figured if he slipped off his clothes, he?d probably slip right under the gate.

He was wrong and spent the rest of the night stuck with nothing but the chilly Norwegian night for company.

About four hours later, someone spotted a pair of naked legs sticking out onto the sidewalk from beneath the gate and called the police.

After police and rescue crews were unable to remove him from beneath the gates, they called the fire department, which used a hydraulic jack to lift up the gate. He was freed about 7 a.m.

His rescue was caught on film by a crew of Norwegian journalists and photographers who gathered to watch.

Ever optimistic, the man, whose real name was not released, urged reporters to say he?d gotten stuck while trying to save a kitten. Failing that, he asked them to mention that the object of his affections was ?a real stunner.?

Police said the man, who lives in Oslo, wasn?t hurt and was sent home with the recommendation to take a hot shower and a warm nap.
________
Ascari (http://www.ferrari-wiki.com/wiki/Ferrari_Ascari)

BizarroAnnihilus

07-05-2004, 09:23 PM

Originally posted by dchester
.....Failing that, he asked them to mention that the object of his affections was “a real stunner.”

...and that's the important part, right? :D

bideau

07-06-2004, 06:11 AM

Here's a local story from Marlboro:

Parking lot mishap leaves car in Marlborough home
July 5, 2004

MARLBOROUGH, Mass. -- The bang Scott Penney heard at a Fourth of July cookout wasn't fireworks; it was the sound of a car crashing through the roof of his home.

Penney was preparing to host a backyard barbecue when a beige 1992 Ford Taurus drove off an elevated parking lot and crashed into his home's roof, which was about the same level as the lot.

Penney, a downstairs tenant in the home, heard the noise from the accident but didn't see what had happened until he went around the two-family house.

"Then I saw the car in the middle of my roof," Penney told the MetroWest Daily News of Framingham.

The car came to rest with its hood sticking out the roof. The vehicle came to rest on a supporting wall and did not fall into the home's living area.

Arriving firefighters climbed a ladder and helped the car's driver get out. No one was injured. Penney's girlfriend had been inside at the time, and the upstairs tenants had been away.

The driver, Shirley Elder, is in her 70s and had been alone at the time of the accident. She refused medical treatment.

"The (driver) had parked her car across the street, cut her wheel, backed up and stepped on the gas," said Jeremy Cardin, a nearby resident who witnessed the accident. "It was just like a catcher's mitt as she hit the roof. She went right between two parked cars and there wasn't even a scratch on them."

"She thought she had her foot on the brake and hit the gas," police Officer David Garceau said. "The car quickly accelerated, went into a 180-degree turn, launched over the wall and backed into the house."

While emergency personnel were still at the scene, friends began to arrive for Penney's barbecue.

"I told you there would be fireworks," he told his guests.

mgoblue101415

07-09-2004, 11:49 AM

From Dumba$$daily.com....

Dumba$$ Daily Exclusive:Man Tries to Sell 440 Copies of PI Video of Wife Cheating on ebay

The original auction ad has been pulled from ebay, but we still have it! A Langhorne, Pennsylvania man was allegedly trying to raise money for a divorce lawyer to get rid of his nasty, cheating wife. His solution: sell at least 440 copies of the video of her cheating--taken by a private investigator--for $25 each on ebay. Why? In his own words ". . . my wife, who for five years refused to go to counseling, and for three years after that refused to amicably divorce, and who at the time of the taping suggested that I continue to work my three jobs, buy a trailer and live in the backyard, (I need to take a breath, and I apologize to you English majors for the run-on sentence) began having an affair with a married man with whom she worked."

DUMBA$$ DAILY EXCLUSIVE: Anybody Want to Buy a Video of My Wife Caught Cheating?

Below is the actual copy from the eBay ad (since pulled) from a guy who allegedly was selling copies of a video shot by a private investigator that caught his wife cheating on him. He was going to sell 440 copies @ $25 each to raise $6000 for a divorce lawyer. (Thanks to Fark.com for retrieving this copy!)

Surveillance video of my soon-to-be-ex-wife in a car (co-starring her married boyfired.

Starting bid: US $25.00
Time left: 3 days 17 hours
Start TIme: Jul 01-2004
Quantity: 440 available
Item location: Langhorne, PA

Seller Information: toonman2
positive Feedback: 98.6%

Description: VHS home movie

OK, this tape is not very clear or titillating. I honestly have not looked at it myself. It was taken by a private investigator who has been a friend of the family since before I was born. He took pity on me and did this work, when my wife, who for five years refused to go to counseling, and for three years after that refused to amicably divorce, and who at the time of the taping suggested that I continue to work my three jobs, buy a trailer and live in the backyard, (I need to take a breath, and I apologize to you English majors for the run-on sentence) began having an affair with a married man with whom she worked. She respected this man. She said, "All he needs is sex and to be fed to be happy, I can make a man like that happy" And she did. She would take food out of our freezer, go grocery shopping, look up flan recipes on the internet so she could cook him lunch at work. I would come home from work at 9:30 PM many days to find that she had not fed our children dinner. "He is a REAL MAN--he won't leave his wife, he just cheats on her. Why couldn't YOU be like HIM?" I thought confronting her with the knowledge of this affair would shame her and she would agree to the divorce. To that she replied, "We are Latin, we cannot control ourselves."

Did I mention that the tape was shot in broad daylight, around 3:30 PM, in the parking lot of the neighborhood fitness center, which was right around the corner from where I was working. She was supposed to be picking-up my daughter from preschool, but at around the time she began the gym membership, her arrival time at preschool became later and later, My first suspicion was that after two months of every day at the gym, her [censored] was not getting smaller and smaller. Her behavior was even observed by a parent from the kids' school.

From what my private Dick reports, he could plainly see they were "doing the deed", but that he wasn't very close when he shot the video and the footage is fuzzy. I do not believe you can identify either of them, so I do not think I am doing anything illegal. (I guess if you are reading this, Ebay agrees). I need to raise $6,000 to retain a new lawyer, and thought this might get me on my way. I am selling the one and only copy I have, as I have been told it is not going to help in my legal case. (NOTE: I HAVE BEEN ADVISED THAT I OWN THE TAPE, AND THAT I MAY SELL MULTIPLE COPIES,SO RATHER THAN TRY TO GET SOMEONE TO PAY $6,000 FOR THE ONE COPY (which I never really thought would happen) I AM LISTING 440 COPIES FOR SALE AT $25 EACH.

THE ADDITIONAL $5000 WILL GO FOR A PRIVATE PSYCHOLOGIST TO WORK ON MY BEHALF THAT MY PROSPECTIVE ATTORNEY HAS RECOMMENDED I DO. I WILL FURNISH ALL BUYERS WITH COPIES OF BOTH RETAINERS.) If this doesn't work I hope at least I can amuse some people with my story. Even I must admit it's funny!

Thank you for listening and for bidding.

Thought I'd share some of the kind words a few of you have sent. Thank you all so much for listening. Keep those emails coming!

Oedipus Tex

07-12-2004, 03:15 PM

Stoned Del. student gets lost in Conn.

Associated Press
07/11/2004

A Delaware college student ate a bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms and drove around in a pair of stolen cars before arriving, confused, on a mountain in northwest Connecticut police said.

Paul Cunningham, 21, hiked to a nearby home Thursday night and asked to call 911, police said.

"I think I stole a car," Cunningham told a dispatcher. "I'm not sure."

Police said Cunningham, of Dover, Del., confessed that eating an entire bag of mushrooms, "probably wasn't a good idea." He allegedly told investigators that he had no idea how many laws he broke during a three-day excursion that took him 300 miles from home.

A student at Wilmington College, he told a state trooper that he bought the drugs in Dover on Monday, according to the Republican-American of Waterbury. The next day, he went for a drive and twice got lost in Connecticut.

He told police he remembers taking a train to LaGuardia Airport in New York, where he found a car with its keys in it. He's unsure where he went from there.

"I once again found myself lost in Connecticut," Cunningham reportedly told police.

After locking the keys in the stolen car, Cunningham allegedly stole a van from a Southbury rest stop.

In Canaan, he decided to climb Music Mountain to see what was on the other side, police said. Investigators believe the exercise cleared Cunningham's head.

"I want to correct my mistakes," Cunningham reportedly told Trooper Andre Roy. "In retrospect, this was a bad idea."

He volunteered a written confession, police said. He was arraigned Friday and was held on $2,500 bail. Both stolen vehicles were recovered.

Undertaker #59

07-12-2004, 03:20 PM

What a long strange trip its been....

Jeez, I feel sorry for the guy. Nice though that he is taking responsibility for his actions (whether he was aware of them or not).

BizarroAnnihilus

07-12-2004, 04:02 PM

Didn't post the pic here for obvious reasons. You have to click the picture to enlarge it to see anything - but still pretty funny.

Warning: small naughty bit probably not the safest to open at work. Open at your own risk at work.

Britney Pulls a Janet - Picture here (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2004313023,00.html)

OOPS! Pop babe Britney Spears boobs on stage — just like Janet Jackson did earlier this year. Britney, 22, spilled out of her costume when a dancer’s arm caught her PVC top.

Not on breast behaviour ... Janet boobed at Superbowl whilst dancing live on US TV

Amazingly, it went unnoticed until a photographer developed unprocessed shots of the event last month in Belfast.

Undertaker #59

07-12-2004, 04:10 PM

Its a fake. The nipple is clearly in the wrong place.

There are some real pictures where a bit of her areola is showing, but nothing like this.

BizarroAnnihilus

07-12-2004, 04:13 PM

Originally posted by Undertaker #59
Its a fake. The nipple is clearly in the wrong place.

There are some real pictures where a bit of her areola is showing, but nothing like this.

Ya think? Those push-up bustiers do some strange things to the shape of a breast. I guess if it IS fake, they'll be getting their asses sued.

Undertaker #59

07-12-2004, 04:21 PM

Originally posted by Annihilus
Ya think? Those push-up bustiers do some strange things to the shape of a breast. I guess if it IS fake, they'll be getting their asses sued.

I can't find that exact same picture undoctored, but saw this posted on another board as well and the general consensus is its fake...it looks way too high anyway.

This is the kind of picture that inspired it I think.

http://65.125.231.226/0602brit3.jpg They have some more of them at that big-boys site that has that Carmen video.

dchester

07-14-2004, 06:43 PM

I guess what liberals and conservatives argue about in Iran is little different from in the US. I wonder what they would think of the Girlie Pictures Thread?

Women?s Attire the Hottest Issue in Iran (http://www.arabnews.com/?article=48306)

TEHRAN, 14 July 2004 ? A fresh crackdown by Iranian police targeting insufficiently veiled women has prompted a serious debate within the Islamic republic?s now-dominant conservatives over how to tackle what they see as an erosion of Islamic values.

For the past few weeks police have been carrying out a series of operations across the capital Tehran, rounding up large numbers of young women sporting flimsy headscarves, three-quarter length trousers and shape-revealing coats.

Witnesses said the detainees ? picked up in parks, fast food restaurants or from sidewalks ? have been briefly hauled into police stations and subjected to lessons on morality before being freed.

While the crackdown is nothing new ? police regularly stage such operations at the outset of the hot summer months ? residents are nevertheless questioning whether it is a reflection the recent changes in Iran?s political landscape and a sign of things to come.

Morals police and Islamic vigilantes have launched a crackdown on ?improper dress?, seizing tight coats and cropped trousers from fashionable shopping centers and detaining scores of women every day for flouting the Islamic dress code.

The dress code, or hijab in Persian, was imposed after the 1979 revolution and requires women to cover their hair and wear long, loose-fitting clothes to disguise their figures.

Roshanak, 27, was arrested by police and held for two days when her scarf slipped off while parking her car. ?My husband had to pay 10 million rials ($1,170) to free me and I am pending trial. My lawyer said I may be lashed as well.?

While the crackdown on improper hijab is not new ? enforcement typically spikes in the summer as soaring temperatures prompt many women to test the boundaries of the law ? the level of debate accompanying it is unprecedented.

According to local media the Interior Ministry is drafting new guidelines on hijab to clarify what can and cannot be worn. For many, ruling on the acceptable length of women?s coats or whether sandals and earrings are banned imperils the tiny sartorial freedoms women have gained in recent years.

?The way people dress is a matter for individuals to decide ... the government cannot approve a bill like this,? the reformist Sharq newspaper said in an editorial.

But many clerics, alarmed by the growing number of women who have cast aside the traditional head-to-toe black chador in favor of colorful scarves, tight coats and calf-length Capri pants, think the proposed bill comes not a moment too soon.

?Some women appear in the streets half a millimeter from breaking the Islamic dress code,? said hard-line cleric Ahmad Khatami. ?It is a very dangerous trend.?

One senior cleric proposed an anti-vice ministry similar to that used by the Taleban to force Afghan women to cover up and men to grow beards. A hard-line vigilante group has blamed bad hijab for rising rape cases and urged police to stamp it out.

Political analysts say the hijab issue may be a litmus test for the future of social freedoms, particularly now that conservatives have all but ousted reformists from power.

Pro-reform President Mohammad Khatami, credited with encouraging more relaxed enforcement of rules such as hijab since his 1997 election, is in his last year in office. His allies lost their parliamentary majority to conservatives in a February vote marred by the mass disqualification of reformists.

?The moderates in the conservative camp know that a severe crackdown on social issues would cause a backlash from people but the traditionalists want to make an issue out of hijab,? said political analyst Hossein Rassam. Reflecting divisions on how to treat the issue, many of the dissenting voices against stricter dress codes come from within the conservative camp itself. ?Any policy for cracking down on those who violate hijab which is imposed by the state will fail,? the conservative Resalat newspaper said in an editorial.

Even supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, normally a proponent of strict adherence to Islamic values, sounded a flexible note in a key speech last week. ?Cultural Mimicry is a big danger, but don?t get me wrong, I am not opposed to fashion, variety and innovation,? Khamenei said.
________
Mazda Nagare picture (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Mazda_Nagare)

pookie

07-19-2004, 12:24 PM

.... public restroom??? Pretty cool actually.

BizarroAnnihilus

07-20-2004, 11:56 AM

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040720/ap_on_fe_st/passenger_assaulted)

Drunk Flight Crew Members Beat Passenger

By MARIA DANILOVA, Associated Press Writer

MOSCOW - Drunken passengers often give air crews trouble, but Russia's leading airline on Tuesday reported an "unprecedented" reversal: A passenger was assaulted by intoxicated flight attendants.

Two crew members on a domestic Aeroflot flight beat up a passenger who had complained that the flight attendants were drunk, airline spokeswoman Irina Dannenberg said.

The passenger, identified only as A. Chernopup, was aboard a recent flight from Moscow to the Siberian city of Nizhnevartovsk, Dannenberg said. She said the crew belonged to another airline, Aviaenergo.

Seeing that the crew were intoxicated and were not fulfilling their duties, Chernopup asked to be served by a sober and competent flight attendant, Dannenberg said. He was then beaten up by crew members.

On Russian flights, attendants often have to struggle to keep intoxicated passengers under control. But on this flight, Dannenberg said, flight attendants were so intoxicated that they "behaved improperly" and only began catering to passengers 1 1/2 hours into the four-hour trip.

The daily Izvestia quoted another passenger as saying that half of the food the crew served ended up on the floor, leaving the aisle strewn with debris that passengers had to walk over as they disembarked.

According to the passenger, Chernopup left the plane with a black eye and was promptly sent to a doctor. Izvestia also reported that a criminal case was opened after Chernopup reported the incident to the police.

Dannenberg said that the plane was carrying out an Aeroflot flight, but both the aircraft and the crew belonged to Aviaenergo. Aeroflot has been contracting out from Aviaenergo since August 2003, but the incident prompted it to tighten control over Aviaenergo's staff, she said.

The entire crew of the flight has been temporarily dismissed and a joint commission is investigating the incident, Dannenberg said.

Oedipus Tex

07-20-2004, 12:10 PM

What I find remarkable about this story is that there seems to be a worse airline than Aeroflot.

I've flown Aeroflot, just once, about 9 years ago. They booked me a seat that didn't exist (ticket read 23 D - plane ended at row 18.) So I was sitting in the aisle at the back of the plane. I was holding onto the nearby seats as we took off...and the back door hatch thingy fell off. No, I'm not kidding.

The captain came on and said (translated) that we were having a few mechanical difficulties, and needed to land. Yeah, I'd say. I took a train. Very nearly got arrested on the train, too, after I got locked out of my cabin without my identification in the middle of the night.

Was a helluva trip overall, really.

BizarroAnnihilus

07-26-2004, 11:40 AM

Sri Lanka Pushing Stationery Made of Dung (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040726/ap_on_fe_st/sri_lanka_elephant_dung)

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka - A Sri Lankan company that made personalized stationery for President Bush (news - web sites) from paper made of elephant dung is asking people to use its products to help the country's dwindling elephant population.

Former Sri Lankan Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe had presented Bush with a box of elephant dung writing paper, envelopes and name cards in a visit to Washington in July 2002.

The elephant is the symbol of Bush's Republican Party, but it was not immediately known whether he has used the paper. Sheets have a unique color and texture, depending on the diet, age and dental health of the elephant that has produced the dung, said Rohan Martis, a marketer for the company, Maximus.

"We produce the paper using 75 percent elephant dung," Martis told The Associated Press on Monday. "Fully digested fiber gives the paper a smooth finish, while half digested fiber makes the paper coarser."

Much of the company's supply of elephant dung comes from an elephant orphanage at Pinnawela, about 46 miles east of Colombo, which houses 62 elephants.

"Our orphanage produces six truck loads of elephant dung," said S. Mendis, the veterinarian, "So you see there is no problem with supply."

Such paper is also made in Thailand, where elephants are domesticated and used for work.

"In buying and using this paper you are making a contribution to the care of this magnificent animal, which is being driven to extinction by loss of its natural habitat," Martis said.

Some 10,000-15,000 elephants roamed Sri Lanka's jungles a century ago, but only 3,000 remain, largely because of deforestation and hunting by ivory poachers.

Another 500 have been domesticated and live in Buddhist temples, sanctuaries or transit homes where they are treated for wounds and sent back into the wild.

dchester

07-26-2004, 12:26 PM

How much extra would you pay for this option?

An Automobile With Feelings (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/07/26/technology/26patent.html?ex=1091419200&en=d20cb5eca1169d24&ei=5006&partner=ALTAVISTA1)

THE expression "road rage" usually refers to infuriated drivers who lose control of their temper and lash out at other motorists. But what if a car could also express anger, crouching low on its wheel base and glowering with red headlights like a lion about to pounce?

Four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink, or just look around.

<HR><center><img src="http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/07/26/business/26pate.xl.jpg">
A drawing of a car with facial expressions. Inventors said they wanted drivers to have more than a horn and headlights to signal other drivers.</center><hr>

The inventors explain in the patent that they want drivers to have more than a one-note horn and on-off headlights to signal other drivers. The horn sounds the same, they write, whether a driver is "asking for permission to cut in front and in showing gratitude for having been allowed to cut in front," so other people often do not know what the honking is about.

That was not good enough for the inventors - Kenji Mori, Naoto Kitagawa, Akihiro Inukai and Simon Humprhies - who work for Toyota Jidosha Kabushiki Kaisha of Japan, which owns the United States patent issued last month. In it they describe a car with an antenna that wags, an adjustable body height, headlights that vary in intensity, and hood slits and ornamentation designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears, all of which could glow with colored lights to create moods and physical features.

The inventors believe these features on cars will make driving more entertaining. In the patent they write that "as traffic grows heavier and vehicle use increases, vehicles having expression functions, such as crying and laughing, like people and other animals do, could create a joyful, organic atmosphere rather than the simple comings and goings of inorganic vehicles."

"Such emotive, organic vehicles could also lead occupants to have great affinity for their vehicles, and make the driving experience more comfortable," the inventors add.

The car comes with a computer and software system that detects road and vehicle conditions like steering angle, braking or speed. Drivers or passengers can also enter information about their moods into the system. But it is the car that expresses an emotional reaction.

"The headlights, antenna and windshield and exterior panels can be regarded as the vehicle's eyes, tail and a body surface," the inventors write. As a baseline, they describe a "sleeping" car as one with "the shutters, or eyes, closed, the antenna limp and the glass and exterior panel are a dark color and the vehicle height is lowered."

An "awake" car would have "open shutters, headlights fringed with complementary 'eyebrows,' an erect antenna and brighter glass and exterior panels."

Eyebrows and eyelids would be created by lights appearing above the headlights, and a "tear" would be displayed by another light installed below the headlights. The patent says any of the lights can remain on for a period of time, blink on and off, or fade from bright to faint. The eyelids can close in any direction - top to bottom, bottom to top and diagonally. The eyebrow shape can change, and the brows, lids and tears can be featured in different colors, the patent says.

Data on the state of the car, the road and the driver is collected and stored in the car's computer, which attributes points to certain factors - like "the occupant reacts to reckless cutting in," or speed, handling angle or brake pressure - that might contribute to an angry response. When a sufficient number of points are accumulated to indicate anger, the computer's software will trigger a reaction in the car's appearance.

"The state of angry will be changed either over time or in response to soothing input supplied by the occupants," the patent says. "When the number of points is reduced below the threshold value, the vehicle no longer shows angry."

The patent includes a chart that shows how the car might display a number of emotions. It shows categories that correlate driver reaction, road or car condition to color and position of features like the "eyebrow," the antenna, the headlights and the vehicle height.

For anger, the hood lighting color glows red while the eyebrow lights up and the headlights, antenna and height are in standard position.

But if the driver is joyful, the car may "wink" to let another car go first by changing the hood lighting and the eyebrow to orange, shading the headlight so it appears half-closed and causing the antenna to vibrate from left to right as if it were wagging.

The chart also indicates that a car with mechanical trouble might "cry" by displaying dark blue hood lighting, a shaded headlight, a lit eyebrow and a blinking "tear" light.

And if the "sudden appearance of a vehicle or pedestrian causes sudden braking," the car will express surprise by having its hood lights turn orange, its eyebrows light up red, the headlights shaded and the vehicle height lowered in the rear.

The patent says the inventors chose the colors, shadings and positions "in consideration of human psychology." It explains that "some reactions may be expressed using warm colors," and cites orange as appropriate for winking, feeling fine or looking around, and red as the right choice for anger or surprise.

"Meanwhile, some other reactions such as sad, crying, fearful and so forth may be expressed using cold colors," like green or blue, the patent says.

The inventors also say their idea, which was awarded Patent No. 6,575,593, is not just for cars. They note it could also be used with motorcycles, ships or aircraft.

Patents may be viewed on the Web at www.uspto.gov or may be ordered through the mail, by patent number, for $3 from the Patent and Trademark Office, Washington, D.C. 20231.
________
Lamborghini V12 specifications (http://www.lamborghini-tech.com/wiki/Lamborghini_V12)

kirjtc2

07-27-2004, 05:54 PM

Our dysfunctional Canadian government in action. I want this job...

Foreign strippers must supply nude photos to officials

Toronto Sun
Jul. 27, 2004 07:00 AM

TORONTO - Immigration officers are having to pore through naked pictures of hundreds of exotic dancers to keep imposters out of Canada, the Toronto Sun reported Tuesday.

Foreign strippers planning to table dance in clubs must now provide photos of themselves with no clothes on to qualify for a visa for Canada, said immigration officials.

"Stage photos during performances are required," said Sergio Mercado, of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico.

In a memo to fellow visa officers around the world, Mercado said if a dancer passes the no-clothes test, they may then require a police certificate or medical examination.

The memo was obtained from access to information documents obtained by the Sun.

The potential dancers have to prove they can dance in the nude, immigration lawyer Mendel Green said Monday.

"They can't be partially nude," he said. "If they don't have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada."

Hawg73

07-27-2004, 06:45 PM

Canada: EXcellent country.

:thumb:

BizarroAnnihilus

07-29-2004, 09:11 AM

Source: Women Say Dentist Made Them Swallow Semen (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=3&u=/ap/20040728/ap_on_fe_st/dentist_semen)

Wed Jul 28, 6:49 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Former employees of a dentist claim the man made female patients unwittingly swallow his semen during visits to his office. Dr. John Hall is accused by the state dental board of violating dentistry's standard of care, engaging in immoral conduct, and committing sexual assault or battery.

Six former patients say he tricked them into swallowing his semen. A seventh claims he jumped on top of her in the dental chair and "began to gyrate against her lower body in a sexual manner."

The dental board suspended Hall's license Nov. 5, after police began investigating allegations by two former employees. In February, it conditionally restored his license, barring him from being alone with female patients.

Hall's lawyers say the dentist has been falsely accused by disgruntled former employees. He was collecting his semen because he was taking Propecia, a drug to promote hair growth, and was concerned about potential side effects that include low sperm count and diminished semen, his lawyer, Emerson Thompson, said.

The dental board heard testimony Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The hearing is to continue next weekend.

The five-member panel will decide whether Hall can keep his license. The case is still being investigated by authorities in Charlotte, Cornelius and Mecklenburg County.

Hall's former assistant Cheryl Lynn MacLeod testified Saturday that she found it odd that Hall began asking her to leave a patient's side to retrieve items that he never used.

She also became suspicious when she overheard him tell patients to "swallow" something, and when she saw him take a syringe out of his lab coat pocket while working beside a patient.

In May 2003, she and former office administrator Susie Hillman took the five syringes from office waste containers and Hall's lab coat pockets and gave them to police.

Hall's lawyer, Thompson, suggested the substance Hall asked patients to swallow could have been a dental product.

But in a sworn deposition read aloud Saturday, Hall's former dental assistant Rhonda Hamilton described several dental products used in Hall's office and none matched the patients' descriptions of what was put in their mouths.

When Cornelius police searched Hall's office Nov. 5, they confiscated five more syringes with Hall's semen from his desk, according to the board and hearing testimony.

Five of the six patients testified Friday. The first, a 40-year-old woman, said she objected when Hall began to put a substance from a syringe into her mouth during a procedure on Sept. 4, telling him: "That smells like sperm."

She said Hall drew back and said, "You're crazy." She said she couldn't taste the substance because her mouth was numb.

Another witness, a 33-year-old woman, said Hall asked his assistant to retrieve something from another room during her appointment in May 2003. While the assistant was gone, she said Hall told her to lie back, open her mouth and swallow.

"When I swallowed I tasted it, and it was semen. ... He told me it was cleaning solution." She said she drove directly to her husband's office nearby and told him what happened, but he and a colleague dismissed the idea. She said she tried to convince herself she was wrong, and contacted police only after hearing about the investigation on the news.

**********

I like the last two witnesses.....they sound like they know what they're talking about.

Pretty creepy dude though...if some guy did that to my woman, I'd have to kill him.

BobKraftsCoozie

07-29-2004, 09:27 AM

"When I swallowed I tasted it, and it was semen. ... He told me it was cleaning solution." She said she drove directly to her husband's office nearby and told him what happened, but he and a colleague dismissed the idea. She said she tried to convince herself she was wrong, and contacted police only after hearing about the investigation on the news.

This story reeks of "The Onion" or something of that effect....specifically because, no man would ever "dismiss" a women who distinctively recognizes the taste of semen.

BizarroAnnihilus

07-29-2004, 09:41 AM

Originally posted by BobKraftsCoozie
This story reeks of "The Onion" or something of that effect....specifically because, no man would ever "dismiss" a women who distinctively recognizes the taste of semen.

...yeah - kinda what I thought, except it was on Yahoo News.

Undertaker #59

07-30-2004, 03:12 PM

Tuesday April 13, 2004

A woman who yearned to have a bottom as luscious and rounded as the rear end of pop star Jennifer Lopez has found her dreams blasted to smithereens -- after her butt implants exploded!

Candy Jones- Davies, 22, vows to sue the hospital where surgeons allegedly pumped the implants so full of curve-creating air, they both blew sky-high -- right on the operating table.

And she says a surgical nurse has agreed to testify in her attempt to collect $17.5 million for medical expenses, lost future wages and emotional pain and suffering.

"She told me they had just put in the implants, when one of the surgeons -- she's not sure which one, but she knows what he said -- started saying, 'Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

Jones-Davies, a receptionist from Pretoria, South Africa, says that before the butt blast, she was on the verge of signing a modeling contract with the talent agency where she works.

"They told me if I got butt implants to look like J.Lo, I could be one of their top girls," she says.

Instead, Jones-Davies not only suffered second- and third-degree burns to both cheeks, but because of tissue loss her behind is even smaller and flatter than before the surgery.

"I'm flat as a board," says Jones-Davies. "No one's going to sign a fashion model who looks like an 80-year-old man from the back.

"I'm lucky to have a job at all -- I can't sit for more than 20 minutes at a time before my backside gets numb and I get stabbing pains down my legs. I'm just lucky they let me take a lot of breaks at work, or this ugly can would be getting me canned."

A hospital spokeswoman says Davies-Jones' doctors were using a new inflatable implant that adjusts to a custom-fitted size. She says the hospital may file a defective- product complaint against the manufacturer.

She adds that Jones-Davies "must also bear some responsibility" for the fanny fiasco.

"She told our doctors at the initial consultation that she wanted to 'out-J.Lo J.Lo' -- her exact words, I'm told," says the spokeswoman. "And with all due respect, she had a long way to go to even begin to have the firm, well-rounded proportions of Miss Lopez. If our doctors failed, it was in trying too hard to serve their patient.

"And," she adds, "our surgeons' quick response actually minimized the damage to Miss Jones-Davies, who would have no bottom at all if not for their knowledge and skill."

Davies-Jones angrily rejects that claim.

"I might have said something like that, but they are doctors, and they should know how far to go before it gets dangerous," she says.

"And I didn't think they'd pump me up so much I'd pop like a balloon at a kid's birthday party."

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/wwn/20040413/108186840004.html

bideau

08-18-2004, 09:19 AM

Bear drinks 36 cans of favorite beer
August 18, 2004

BAKER LAKE, Wash. -- Rain-eeeeer .... Bear? When state Fish and Wildlife agents recently found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, there were some clues scattered nearby -- dozens of empty cans of Rainier Beer.

The bear apparently got into campers' coolers and used his claws and teeth to puncture the cans. And not just any cans.

"He drank the Rainier and wouldn't drink the Busch beer," said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest.

"He didn't like that (Busch) and consumed, as near as we can tell, about 36 cans of Rainier."

A wildlife agent tried to chase the bear from the campground but the animal just climbed a tree to sleep it off for another four hours. Agents finally herded the bear away, but it returned the next morning.

Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier. That did the trick.

"This is a new one on me," Heinck said. "I've known them to get into cans, but nothing like this. And it definitely had a preference."

spiderman

08-18-2004, 09:46 AM

Originally posted by bideau
Bear drinks 36 cans of favorite beer
August 18, 2004

Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier. That did the trick.

This trap has been known to work on me as well...

bideau

08-19-2004, 10:04 AM

Porn star tells military 'bullets, not boobs'
August 19, 2004

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A group supporting natural breasts staged a small street protest in Hollywood on Wednesday against a U.S. military policy offering free breast implants to female soldiers.

The group, led by porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, said the military should spend its money on "bullets, not boobs."

"I think girls should have natural boobs and natural beauty," Carey said after unveiling her own breasts in the protest at an Army recruiting office on Sunset Boulevard.

"Women should be happy with their bodies and what they're blessed with," the 24-year-old star of 37 porn films said.

Her words and deeds drew cheers from a small group of men who had gathered to watch the event. Passing cars sounded their horns in response to a sign that read "Honk if you love natural breasts."

bideau

08-19-2004, 12:05 PM

I thought it was necessary to add a photo of the young lass from the above article o:-)

dchester

08-19-2004, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by bideau
The group, led by porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, said the military should spend its money on "bullets, not boobs."

"I think girls should have natural boobs and natural beauty," Carey said after unveiling her own breasts in the protest at an Army recruiting office on Sunset Boulevard. I still can't figure out why Schwartzeneger got elected instead of her. What's up with those people in California?
________
iolite review (http://vaporizer.org/reviews/iolite)

bideau

08-19-2004, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by dchester
I still can't figure out why Schwartzeneger got elected instead of her. What's up with those people in California?

I love the groupies in the background, wearing some great campaign T-shirts.

Schuster69

08-19-2004, 02:28 PM

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2004/08/17/limbless_woman_sues_air_france_over_torso_snub/

Limbless woman sues Air France over 'torso' snub
August 17, 2004

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A wheelchair-bound woman with no limbs sued Air France for discrimination on Friday, alleging she was kept off a flight by a gate agent who told her a "torso cannot possibly fly on its own."

Adele Price, 42, a British citizen, sued the airline in Manhattan federal court seeking unspecified damages.

Price, who was born without limbs because her mother took the drug thalidomide during pregnancy, said in the suit she is able to manipulate a wheelchair and has traveled by air many times.

The suit states that she had bought a ticket in 2000 for travel between Manchester, England and New York. After Price had checked her luggage, she alleged that she was stopped by an Air France agent who told her that "a head, one bottom and a torso cannot possibly fly on its own."

Price said in the suit that Air France let her take another flight to New York but only after she was able to get a companion to go with her. However, Price said she had to pay for the companion's airfare and lodging.

BizarroAnnihilus

08-25-2004, 11:18 AM

This is pretty gross:

Dave Matthews band dumps human waste on boaters (http://launch.yahoo.com/read/news.asp?contentID=219387)

Dave Matthews Band Sued Over Dumped Waste
(AP, 08/24/2004 9:49 PM)

By Melanie Coffee

The state of Illinois sued the Dave Matthews Band on Tuesday for allegedly dumping up to 800 pounds of liquid human waste from a bus into the Chicago River, dousing a tour boat filled with passengers.

The lawsuit accuses the band and one of its bus drivers of violating state water pollution and public nuisance laws. It seeks $70,000 in civil penalties.

"Our driver has stated that he was not involved in this incident," band spokesman John Vlautin said in a statement. He said the band "will continue to be cooperative in this investigation."

According to the lawsuit, on Aug. 8 a bus leased by the band was heading to a downtown hotel where members were staying. As the bus crossed the Kinzie Street bridge, the driver allegedly emptied the contents of the septic tank through the bridge's metal grating into the river below.

More than 100 people on an architecture tour were showered with foul-smelling waste. The attorney general's office said no one was seriously injured.

"This incident may be unique, but that does not lessen the environmental or public health risks posed by the release of at least 800 pounds of liquid human waste into a busy waterway and onto a crowded tour boat," Attorney General Lisa Madigan said in a statement.

After the incident, the boat's captain turned the vessel around and took passengers back to the dock. Everyone received refunds, and the boat was cleaned with disinfectant.

PA_PATS_FAN54*

08-25-2004, 02:45 PM

Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird (.863)

WEEK OF AUGUST 22, 2004

LEAD STORY
CEO Andrew Wiederhorn began his 18-month federal prison sentence in August, but unlike other convicted CEOs, he'll continue to draw his $1.6 million a year salary while doing hard time. He pleaded guilty to two felonies (including filing a false tax return) while previously the CEO of Wilshire Financial Services Group in Oregon, but his current company, Fog Cutter Capital Group, apparently believes Wiederhorn is a real hot shot worth holding onto. Fog Cutter said it might even give Wiederhorn a bonus, in order to help him pay the restitution he is required to make under his plea agreement. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel-AP, 8-2-04]

bideau

08-30-2004, 08:23 AM

WATERBURY, Conn. (AP) A man weighing more than 600 pounds has died despite efforts by firefighters to rescue him after he had difficulty breathing.

Liborio Ricci, 47, was pronounced dead at Waterbury Hospital Sunday afternoon after a two-hour rescue effort.

Firefighters responded to a call of a man having difficulty breathing at the Arch Street home just before noon. They arrived to find Ricci in the second floor bedroom of his family's home.

Firefighters and paramedics were unable to get Ricci out of his room because he would not fit through the doorways or around the turn in the stairwell on a stretcher.

Firefighters decided they would have to cut out the bedroom window over the front porch and use the front door as a makeshift stretcher.

After more than 90 minutes, firefighters finally were able to lift Ricci out onto the porch and have a fire truck's extension ladder raise the gurney and lower him to the ground.

Paramedics administered oxygen to Ricci while firefighters prepared a set of rigging to navigate Ricci out of the house and down to the ground where an ambulance was waiting.

Ricci was then transported to Waterbury Hospital where he was pronounced dead.

BobKraftsCoozie

08-30-2004, 11:26 AM

Police: Drunken man drives home after passenger decapitated; headless body left in truck (http://www.boston.com/dailynews/243/nation/Police_Drunken_man_drives_home:.shtml)

MARIETTA, Ga. (AP) A drunken driver hit a telephone pole support wire that decapitated his passenger, then drove 12 miles home and slept in his bloody clothes, leaving the headless body in his truck, police said.

A neighbor walking with his young daughter Sunday morning discovered Daniel Brohm's headless corpse in the truck in John Kemper Hutcherson's driveway and called authorities, said Cpl. Dana Pierce, county police spokesman.

Officers found Hutcherson asleep inside his home. He was visibly drunk and his clothes were bloody, authorities said. They later found Brohm's severed head at the crash site.

''It's hard for one to imagine that you would drive miles from a crash site to your home, turning in various directions, and yet not know what has happened to a passenger sitting next to you,'' Pierce said.

Hutcherson, 21, was charged with vehicular homicide, driving under the influence and failure to stop at an accident with death or injury. He was jailed on a $100,000 bond; it was unclear Monday whether he had an attorney.

Police said Hutcherson and Brohm friends since high school were drinking at a bar Saturday night and left after Brohm said he felt sick.

Brohm, 23, apparently was leaning out of the window when Hutcherson hit the support wire about a mile and a half from the bar.

bideau

08-31-2004, 09:34 AM

August 31, 2004

BEIJING (Reuters) - Sexual frustration has turned a Chinese chimpanzee from a mild-mannered simian into a problem primate who smokes cigarettes and spits at visitors, the Xinhua news agency says.

Feili, a female chimp in the city of Zhengzhou in the central province of Henan, picked up her nasty habits by imitating visitors who behaved "improperly" around her, Xinhua quoted zoo director Liu Bing as saying on Sunday.

But, Liu said, the root cause of Feili's transformation from a "gentle girl" into a "shrew" lay with the inability to find her a satisfactory mate.

A male chimpanzee at the zoo has failed to live up to Feili's sexual demands, and she has snubbed other potential suitors.

Zoo officials said Feili was not addicted to nicotine, but the chimp has also demonstrated clever -- if not desperate -- behavior to score a smoke.

BobKraftsCoozie

08-31-2004, 10:19 AM

...and how does this chimp get her smokes??? .....and seriously, who would want a mate that "spits" anyways.o:-)

PA_PATS_FAN54*

08-31-2004, 01:32 PM

OKAYAMA -- A school principal who distributed composite photos showing a former teacher's head attached to a nude body has been arrested, police said.

The principal, Tsuyoshi Hashimoto, was arrested for defamation after police caught him distributing the photographs on a road near the 34-year-old teacher's home.

"I was angry at her attitude and her language," Hashimoto was quoted as telling police after his arrest.

Investigators said Hashimoto drove to an area near the teacher's home at about 8:45 p.m. on Sunday and threw three composite photographs making the teacher look like she was naked on the road. The photographs contained the teacher's name and address with the message "Come to my house," along with obscene statements, police said.

Police, who were on the lookout after the teacher complained that composite photographs had been distributed near her home since December last year, immediately arrested the principal. Photographs similar to the ones that were distributed were found in his vehicle.

The principal and teacher previously worked together.

The vice principal at the school in Ushimado, Okayama Prefecture, was surprised to hear of the principal's arrest.

"He doesn't have any trouble with the teacher now. I'm shocked at the arrest," the vice principal said. (Wire reports, Japan, Aug. 30, 2004)

PA_PATS_FAN54*

08-31-2004, 01:39 PM

Posted on Sat, Aug. 28, 2004
H O M E H U N T E R
W E E K L Y F E A T U R E

photo
» Homehunter content
» Builder's Website

Brooks responds to summer incident

2 PLAYERS, EX-PLAYER ACCUSED IN JUNE OF INDECENT EXPOSURE

By Chip Cosby

HERALD-LEADER STAFF WRITER

Kentucky football coach Rich Brooks, in response to a report by a local television station, said yesterday he was aware of indecent exposure cases involving two UK players and a former player that occurred earlier this summer.

Joe Razzano, who left the team voluntarily earlier this month, was arrested and charged on June 11 with indecent exposure. Casey Shumate and Eric Klope were cited for two counts each of indecent exposure. WLEX-TV reported the incident yesterday.

Razzano, rated the nation's seventh-best prep fullback by ESPN.com in 2003, redshirted last season before voluntarily leaving the team just before the start of fall camp earlier this month. Shumate, a non-scholarship player, is listed No. 3 at center on the depth chart, while Klope, another walk-on, is second string at right tackle.

According to police records, officials were called by juvenile witnesses in reference to three men exposing themselves on the 400 block of Oldham Avenue. The juveniles said the men "invited them in for an orgy," and told them to "show some respect for UK football players."

According to the police report, an officer arrived and saw Razzano sitting nude on a couch on the front porch. Razzano then went inside the house and put clothes on. He said he had been inside the house nude when his father called, and he went out on the porch to talk to him.

No police records mention any officers witnessing Klope or Shumate nude at any time on the night Razzano was arrested.

Shumate's mother, Tracy Darnell, declined comment last night, but Klope's father, Kevin Klope, and Emily Ward-Roark, the Klopes' family attorney, said Klope and Shumate did nothing wrong and should not have received citations. Ward-Roark added that Klope and Shumate weren't cited until weeks after the incident. Copies of the citation obtained yesterday did not include a date.

Ward-Roark said she expects the charges to be dismissed.

"Eric and Casey were mistakenly lumped in," she said. "They were not nude at any time, and they are innocent in all of this. Our position on this is that it's a false police report."

Ward-Roark said the television report took her client by surprise.

"Eric's just devastated about all of this," she said. "He's a good kid that's never been in any kind of trouble. I know he was upset because his friend (Razzano) got arrested, but he never expected anything like this."

UK spokesman Tony Neely said that no decision on any disciplinary action would be made "until the full scope of the matter is understood."

Klope and Shumate are scheduled to appear in court Sept. 14.

Jim Lowry, an attorney representing the three players, said they would have the option of pleading guilty to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct.

bideau

09-01-2004, 10:11 AM

80-year-old farmhouse accidentally razed
September 1, 2004

CUMMING, Ga. -- Three generations of James Wheeler's family were sheltered by a farmhouse built by his grandfather about 80 years ago.

Now, there's only red dirt, weeds and scattered debris where the farmhouse once stood because a bulldozer accidentally razed the house for a new subdivision.

"It can never be replaced," said Wheeler, a 57-year-old accountant in Cumming. "My grandfather built that house in the 1920s. My mother was raised in that house. My grandfather made the cabinets. I didn't expect to lose those."

Dallas-based Centex Homes moved or demolished about 10 structures on the 83 acres around Wheeler's 22-acre plot to make room for about 335 homes.

"It was an unfortunate accident," said Jay Thrower, Centex's senior vice president. "Our property was next to his piece of property."

After Wheeler's grandparents died, the house went to his mother. She moved into a retirement apartment three years ago, and the house had been vacant since. Wheeler said he checked on it about once a month, the last time in mid-June.

Wheeler said no amount of money could make up for his loss.

"I remember helping my grandfather kill hogs there," he said. "We salted them and hung them in there."

He said he was stunned when his sister, Janice Chumley, called in late July to say the family farmhouse had disappeared. He went to the Forsyth County Sheriff's Office.

The sheriff's office investigated, decided it was an accident and, therefore, a civil matter.

Thrower said the company's "number one concern is trying to make it right for him."

Hawg73

09-01-2004, 01:12 PM

"I remember helping my grandfather kill hogs there," he said. "We salted them and hung them in there."

It's memories like that which make life worth living. That should help the jury award.

LMFAO.

BizarroAnnihilus

09-01-2004, 03:56 PM

Turkish Man Squirts Milk From Eye (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040901/ap_on_fe_st/milk_squirting)

By JAMES C. HELICKE, Associated Press Writer

ISTANBUL, Turkey - Ilker Yilmaz might just hold one of the world's most bizarre world records. The Turkish construction worker on Wednesday poured milk into his hand, loudly snorted it up his nose and squirted it 9.2 feet out of his left eye in what he hopes will be recognized as a new world record.

"I'm happy and proud that I can get Turkey in the record book even if it's for milk squirting," said the 28-year-old. He says he is among only a handful of people around the world who can perform the feat because of an anomaly in his tear gland.

The Web site for Guinness World Records says Mike Moraal of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, set the existing record, of 8.745 feet in France in 2001.

In an e-mail, Guinness World Records said it had no official representative present to witness Yilmaz's feat and was waiting for documents from organizers of Wednesday's event to prove the record.

"It is really good to hear that provisionally a new record may have been set," Sam Knights, a Guinness representative, said in an e-mail. "We welcome new record breakers and look forward to receiving the evidence ... and then we can verify this new record attempt."

Yilmaz said he has known for years that he could squirt liquids out of his eye, but only three years ago found out that there was a record for squirting milk.

"I learned by chance that I had such a talent. When I was swimming with friends, I noticed water squirting out of my eye," he said. "When I saw (a previous Guinness attempt) on TV, I thought, maybe, I could do that too."

Mahir Kendusim, an Istanbul-based eye doctor, said a cavity links the lower eyelid to the nasal cavity, but added that he has never heard of anyone who was able to carry out a feat such as Yilmaz's.

Two years ago, Yilmaz said he broke an earlier record, but Guinness did not recognize it because the witnesses present did not fulfill its guidelines.

On Wednesday, an imam, or Muslim prayer leader, was among witnesses watching as Yilmaz sucked in the milk, held back his left eyelid with his finger and squirted away. Yilmaz succeeded on his third attempt. The record attempt was sponsored by Kay Sut, a Turkish milk company.

dchester

09-02-2004, 08:17 AM

It's hard to believe anyone would fall for this.
:D

Hunt for trickster with George Bush bank notes (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_819590.html)

Police in the US are searching for a man who paid for his groceries with a forged 200 dollar bank note bearing the image of President George W Bush.

<center> http://www.ananova.com/images/web/69461.jpg </center>

A cashier accepted the bill, which also showed a picture of the White House, with signs on the lawn including "we like ice cream" and "USA deserves a tax cut".

<center> http://www.ananova.com/images/web/69462.jpg </center>

Police were startled the note was accepted because it was so blatantly fake Mr Bush does not appear on any US bills and the US Mint does not even print such a denomination.

The imitation was marked as "moral legal tender" and also bore a counterfeit signature of former President Ronald Reagan who was described as "Political Mentor".

The man used the forgery to pay for groceries worth 150 dollars at the Food Lion store in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. The note was discovered on September 6.
________
Ford Ikon picture (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Ford_Ikon)

BizarroAnnihilus

09-02-2004, 03:19 PM

While amusing, the last sentence of this article was what cracked me up.

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=3&u=/ap/20040902/ap_on_fe_st/oregon_ashes)

Ashes of Cremated Man Crash Into Ore. Home

Thu Sep 2,12:53 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!

FOREST GROVE, Ore. - An unwelcome guest recently crashed into Barbara Vreeland's home: the cremated remains of a Washington man.

The 46-year-old man died of natural causes in June. He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered over Mountain View Memorial Gardens, a cemetery near Vreeland's home, Forest Grove police Capt. Aaron Ashbaugh said Tuesday.

Family members told police the bag of ashes slipped as they were circling the cemetery in a small plane they had hired for the day.

The 4-pound bag crashed through Vreeland's roof and landed in the attic.

"It really rattled our place," said Vreeland, who was at her kitchen sink when the ashes hit the roof. "It wasn't a little bump — it shook the house."

Vreeland's roof is being fixed and the man's family is paying for the damage.

"I understand the man wanted to be with his (deceased) relatives," Vreeland said.

"I feel for those people. But I think some of their relative is still in our attic."

dropKickMurphy

09-02-2004, 04:07 PM

I'm happy and proud that I can get Turkey in the record book even if it's for milk squirting

All Turkey citizen now to rejoice much proudly!

PA_PATS_FAN54*

09-04-2004, 09:22 PM

not weird but worth a post in my oppinion :D

BROWN BUMMER

By GEORGE KING
September 4, 2004 -- A selfish and immature act by the most self-centered man in baseball may have cost the Yankees the AL East last night at Yankee Stadium.

Angered about twisting his left knee at first and taking a Miguel Tejada grounder off his right forearm, Kevin Brown took out his frustration by punching a clubhouse wall near Joe Torre's office with his left hand and breaking the fifth and third metacarpal bones during a 3-1 loss to the Orioles.

Full story
http://www.nypost.com/sports/yankees/yankees.htm

B A Rabbit

09-08-2004, 08:14 PM

Proctor & Gamble Employee Fired for Wiping with Scott Tissue

CINCINNATI- Just days after a Coca Cola employee was fired for drinking a Diet Pepsi on the job, Proctor and Gamble has announced the firing of long-time spokesperson Mr. Whipple for a similar transgression.

Proctor and Gamble director of corporate communications Reese Nuttley-Korn released a terse statement this afternoon stating, “It was a violation of Mr. Whipple’s contract to publicly use any toilet tissue product other than Charmin. In doing so, he gave us no recourse other than immediate termination.”

Whipple was visibly upset at a press conference. “I’ve been carrying a roll of Charmin around with me — you know in case I have to use a public restroom — for the past 40 years,” said Whipple. “It is embarrassing. The moment anybody sees the Charmin, they ask me if I’m going to squeeze it.”

Apparently, Whipple had left his emergency roll of Charmin at home during a trip to Home Depot early last week when nature called. “I had to go. Unfortunately, they don’t use Charmin in most public restrooms. All they had was one of those industrial rolls of Scott Tissue — you know, the ones that feel like sandpaper on your ass. Well, the guy in the next stall happened to be a reporter from the National Enquirer. He recognized me and that’s when all of this trouble began.”

Kimberly-Clark Corporation, the maker of Scott Tissue, has reportedly offered Mr. Whipple a commercial endorsement offer. However, the 87-year-old spokesman is bound under a non-competition clause in his P&G contract that prevents him from working for another toilet paper manufacturer for 20 years.

“Hell, I’ll be 107 by the time I can work again. What do you think the odds are that I’ll live that long?” Whipple complained. “To make matters worse, by the time the jerks at the Enquirer had gotten done embellishing the story with fictitious and exaggerated details, they reported that I was sharing my stall with pop star George Michael and screaming like a little girl. No one at the actors’ retirement home will talk to me — except for Charles Nelson Riley.”

PatsFanDan

09-17-2004, 02:00 PM

Ok......a few years back this would have been a really odd story but lately with the internet you read about more and more stories like this.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/09/17/alligator.captured.ap/index.html

Alligator captured in hot tub
Friday, September 17, 2004 Posted: 1:50 PM EDT (1750 GMT)

ROYALTON, Illinois (AP) -- A worried neighbor's call to Animal Control led to a bizarre scene at a southern Illinois home: Four officers wrestling an alligator out of a hot tub, a house filled with animal cages, and the arrest of a man wanted by the military for desertion.

It was more than Franklin County Animal Control Supervisor Jarrett Broy had been counting on when the call came in, but he's seen crazy things before.

When Broy and another officer reached the home Monday, they spotted the 5-foot-long, 80-pound American alligator in a wooden enclosure attached to a garage. Inside the enclosure was a hot tub sunk into the ground and filled with 4 feet of stagnant water, and in the water, littered with broken turtle shells, was the alligator.

They called the Illinois Department of Natural Resources and Royalton Police for a little help.

To get the alligator, Scott Ballard of the IDNR pulled on chest waders, stepped into the tub and grabbed the animal. Broy and two others then dragged Ballard and the alligator out to the ground and struggled to tape the alligator's jaws shut.

"You can't imagine that thing's tail," Broy said. "He was wanting me to turn him loose, so he'd pop me in the back -- just laying it on me. Wham, wham, wham. My back is so sore."

Inside the house, meanwhile, Royalton Police Chief Denny Bush was running background checks on all the people.

One, an 18-year-old from Lockport, came up listed as wanted by the military for desertion. The man was being held Thursday on a military pickup order at the Franklin County Jail, Sheriff Bill Wilson said.

The officers also found cages for large snakes, a room full of rats and mice, and several squirrels inside the house.

The owner of the home could be charged with possession of a threatened species for having the alligator in captivity, officials said. To keep the alligator, he would have needed a permit, which he did not have, Ballard said.

The home owner does not have a listed phone number and could not be reached Thursday for comment.

The alligator will be held at a holding facility until the case is resolved and eventually will go to a zoo or alligator farm, Broy said.

dropKickMurphy

09-17-2004, 03:37 PM

Penis explodes during sex (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_76570.html)
Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend.

Ilarie Coroiu was taken to hospital in the Transylvanian town of Cluj after his girlfriend, Magdalena, 18, "felt something strange" and noticed that the bed was covered in blood.

Dr Angela Domocos, head of the accident and emergency department at Cluj General Hospital, said: "It is very rare for this to happen. We call it an exploded penis because it happens when the blood cavities in the penis burst.

"I don't know what this couple were playing at, but there must have been tremendous pressure inside the penis to make this happen."

Mr Coroiu is now recovering after an operation to stop the bleeding.

PatsFanDan

09-17-2004, 03:41 PM

Wow, that Magdalena must be one really hot chick to cause that guy's unit to................:thumb:

kirjtc2

09-18-2004, 10:46 AM

Only in Newfoundland....

http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2004/09/17/funeral040917

Nfld. man telephones during own funeral
Last Updated Fri, 17 Sep 2004 22:37:28

ST. PHILIP'S, NFLD. - The family of a Newfoundland man is overjoyed but looking for answers after he phoned during his own funeral to let them know he hadn't been killed in a Toronto commuter train accident after all.

Gilbert Squires of St. Philip's, Nfld., said he got a call on Sunday afternoon saying his brother Dane had been killed by a train.

Police in Toronto said a sister had identified the retired welder as the man killed while crossing a GO Train track last Friday.

"The body was badly mutilated," said Gilbert. "We've been mourning in Newfoundland and in Toronto, everywhere. We're in total shock."

But during Thursday's funeral in Toronto, Dane Squires called his daughter Trina to report that he was alive and well.

"They [had] just loaded Dane's body in the hearse and the funeral director comes and says, 'Somebody would like to speak to you on the phone,' and Dane's daughter Trina took the phone," said Gilbert Squires.

"This was Dane on the phone, so she actually thought that she was dead or talking to a ghost or something and just about lost her mind."

Squires said it's not unusual for his brother to visit friends in Toronto for four or five days.

Dane Squires didn't realize there was any problem until he read his own obituary in the newspaper, his brother said. Then he called his sister's house to let her know he was alive, and found out his funeral was underway.

After the accident, Toronto police had appealed to the public to assist them in identifying the body.

A spokesperson, Det.-Const. Dave Stirling, told the Toronto Sun that Squires's sister viewed the victim's body and identified it as that of her brother.

"There must have been a likeness," Stirling said. "It certainly is an unfortunate circumstance. It's certainly a shock."

The accident victim's body has now been returned to the coroner's office and police are again trying to identify him. The dead man was between 45 and 50, with a beard and short, reddish-brown hair.

Gilbert Squires said his brother is taking his "death" with good humour.

"He said, 'I've got a new name. I haven't decided what it's going to be.' And I said, 'What would that be?' And he said, 'I'm either going to call myself Lazarus or Jesus.''"

PA_PATS_FAN54*

09-24-2004, 10:46 AM

Life Imitates "Weekend at Bernie's"

Two men and a woman, described in a Cape Times (Cape Town, South Africa) story as loan sharks, brought the corpse of Thozamile Patrick Apolis in a wheelchair into an FNB Provincial bank in June in an attempt to withdraw his pension (signing for it by "helping" Apolis move his hand across the paper), but a skeptical customer, who kept demanding that bank officials check for a pulse, scared off the three, who left the body behind. [Cape Times, 6-8-04]

BizarroAnnihilus

09-30-2004, 02:05 PM

I just think this is pretty weird, myself.....

Source (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20040930/ap_on_fe_st/japan_boyfriend_pillow)

In Japan, Women Can Doze With Man Pillow

By KAORI HITOMI, Associated Press Writer

NAGAREYAMA, Japan - After a long night at work as a radio DJ, Junko Suzuki likes to snuggle at bedtime — and she says she's found the perfect partner: a man-shaped pillow.

Japanese Arm Pillow Offers Silent Comfort
(AP Video)

Linen maker Kameo Corp.'s new "Boyfriend's Arm Pillow" — which consists of a headless torso and a stuffed arm that curls around the sleeper — might make some people uneasy.

But not Suzuki, or about 1,000 others in Japan who have bought the pillow, which Kameo says is the first of its kind. The product went on the market last December.

"I like to sleep holding someone's hand," Suzuki, 34. "And this pillow makes me feel relaxed because I can hold the arm and feel something warm at my side."

Kameo, based in the southern Japanese city of Fukuoka, says the pillow is not only an emotional comfort, but that its shape keeps the body balanced by supporting the sleeper from both sides.

Sleepers typically curl up in between the body of the pillow and the crooked arm, with the sleeper's head resting on the pillow's "bicep."

"My grandmother used to say that there is nothing more comfortable pillow than human," said Kameo President Tomoki Kakehashi. "So, I thought that maybe women would want to sleep on an arm-shaped pillow."

The pillow is only on sale in Japan, where customers can buy one for $80. Covered in a shirt-shaped pillow cover, it comes in blue, pink or green.

For Suzuki, who is estranged from her husband, the pillow has definite advantages: It doesn't squirm or thrash in the night, and you know it'll be there in the morning.

"It keeps holding me all the way through," she said in her home outside of Tokyo. "I think this is great because this does not betray me."

One-size pillows do not fit all.

So Kameo is working up new models: muscular pillows for sleepers who like their pillows well-built; slender models for those after a more sensitive, vulnerable partner.

The company also has a prototype for its next big project: a female pillow for men. This one will be shaped like a woman's lap, with a "skirt" cover.

"I always thought someone's lap would the best pillow for me," said Kakehashi.

AP Photo

bideau

10-05-2004, 07:55 AM

Man mistakenly cuts off genitalia, dog eats it
October 5, 2004

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

:Eason:

B A Rabbit

11-03-2004, 05:05 PM

Man Survives Jump Into Lion's Den
46-Year-Old Reportedly Trying To Convert Lions To Christianity

A man was attacked and injured after jumping into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo and trying to convert the lions to Christianity.

The 46-year-old man leaped into the den of African lions and shouted "Jesus will save you," according to the report. He also said, "Come bite me" before one of the male lions attacked and bit the man.

Video showed the lion ripping a jacket off the man at the zoo in Taiwan's capital, clawing him and then biting the man in the leg.

Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

The lions were fed earlier in the day otherwise the man might have been more seriously injured or killed.

--Jeez what a fruitcakeo:-)

B A Rabbit

11-03-2004, 08:18 PM

Ex-NFLer Held in Siegfried & Roy Drive-By
Tue Nov 2, 9:18 PM ET

LAS VEGAS - A former Oakland Raiders kicker was in police custody Tuesday night in the September drive-by shooting at the home of entertainers Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn, police said.

Cole Ford, 31, whose three-year NFL career ended in 1997 after he missed crucial kicks, was identified earlier by police as the owner of a white minivan from which shots were fired at the entertainers' compound.

No one was hurt, but police said shotgun pellets shattered windows and left a hole in a wall. Police have not said if the two were at home at the time.

Ford was captured without incident Tuesday afternoon at a copy store near the Las Vegas Strip after a woman tipped police that he was inside, police said.

He faces six felony warrant charges of discharging a firearm from a motor vehicle and two felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon.

The long-running Siegfried & Roy show was forced to close a year ago after Horn suffered a near-fatal tiger mauling during a performance.

Wow, I found two weird stroies in one night.....Ineed to get off this computer and find a life.

dchester

11-03-2004, 08:46 PM

Originally posted by Supkem
Ex-NFLer Held in Siegfried & Roy Drive-By
Tue Nov 2, 9:18 PM ET

LAS VEGAS - A former Oakland Raiders kicker was in police custody Tuesday night in the September drive-by shooting at the home of entertainers Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn, police said. I guess he didn't like the show very much.
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PA_PATS_FAN54*

11-04-2004, 07:39 AM

Originally posted by dchester
I guess he didn't like the show very much.

I have to refrain from commenting on this post as it would be political in nature. :sulk:
o:-)

B A Rabbit

11-04-2004, 04:22 PM

Originally posted by PA_PATS_FAN54
I have to refrain from commenting on this post as it would be political in nature. :sulk:
o:-)

Ya know Pa_pats_fan, I sure am glad you don't own a gun.

PA_PATS_FAN54*

11-04-2004, 04:28 PM

Originally posted by Supkem
Ya know Pa_pats_fan, I sure am glad you don't own a gun.

LMFAO .... um I have a 30/30 20 guage and 12 guage shot guns and a 22 rifle dat was fer vermit huntin

me friends calls me rosco too :Homer: :dith:

On a serious note

and the comment was not referring to using a fire arm on another human being
I would shoot someone dead with no remorse if and I mean IF someone was threatening the life of a member of my family.

mgoblue101415

11-04-2004, 04:32 PM

Hmmm... You gotta like this one....

Cathedral revives beer tradition
Canterbury Cathedral is reviving the ancient monastic tradition of making beer available within its precincts.

The Kent cathedral is selling a bottled bitter which is made by local brewer Shepherd Neame according to a 300-year-old Kentish recipe.

Canon Richard Marsh said beer was made on site by the monastic community in Canterbury between 1100 and 1538.

He hopes Cathedral Ale "will remind people of the fun and friendship of a visit to the cathedral".

Safer than water

Shop manager Chris Needham said: "We wanted a beer that was local as we are very keen to support local businesses.

"It's our celebration ale and brewed using traditional methods in our Faversham brewery," said Tracey Jepson of Shepherd Neame, which was established in 1698.

During the Middle Ages, beer was considered safer than water because the brewing process killed off bacteria.

It was often brewed by monastic communities but this tradition was halted when Henry VIII dissolved the monasteries in the 16th century.

Proceeds from the sale of the ale will go towards the upkeep of the cathedral.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/kent/3978293.stm

Published: 2004/11/03 11:45:14 GMT

He hopes Cathedral Ale "will remind people of the fun and friendship of a visit to the cathedral".

Well downing beers at church would make it a lot more fun, that's for sure. :p

:Party:

PA_PATS_FAN54*

11-04-2004, 04:34 PM

Originally posted by mgoblue101415
Hmmm... You gotta like this one....

He hopes Cathedral Ale "will remind people of the fun and friendship of a visit to the cathedral".

Well downing beers at church would make it a lot more fun, that's for sure. :p

:Party:
Where do I sign up! :thumb:
our father who art Iain heaven "HIck Up" pass me a noda beer reverend!

mgoblue101415

11-04-2004, 04:38 PM

OMG!!!! ROFL This one takes the cake.... And the entire friggin bakery. ROFL

From a news station in central FL..

Man Survives Jump Into Lion's Den
46-Year-Old Reportedly Trying To Convert Lions To Christianity

POSTED: 3:27 pm EST November 3, 2004
UPDATED: 4:59 pm EST November 3, 2004

A man was attacked and injured after jumping into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo and trying to convert the lions to Christianity.

The 46-year-old man leaped into the den of African lions and shouted "Jesus will save you," according to the report. He also said, "Come bite me" before one of the male lions attacked and bit the man.

Video showed the lion ripping a jacket off the man at the zoo in Taiwan's capital, clawing him and then biting the man in the leg.

Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

The lions were fed earlier in the day otherwise the man might have been more seriously injured or killed.

sir_drinkalot

11-04-2004, 05:36 PM

Check out Ashlee Simpson, friggin' hilarious.:thumb:

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/games/ashlee_dance.asp

Flagg the Wanderer

11-04-2004, 06:36 PM

Bush found a new place to invade, with not so much resistance! ;)
LITTLE EGG HARBOR, N.J. - A National Guard F-16 fighter jet on a nighttime training mission strafed an elementary school with 25 rounds of ammunition, authorities said Thursday. No one was injured.

The military is investigating the incident that damaged Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School shortly after 11 p.m.

Police were called when a custodian who was the only person in the school at the time heard what sounded like someone running across the roof.

Police Chief Mark Siino said officers noticed punctures in the roof. Ceiling tiles had fallen into classrooms, and there were scratch marks in the asphalt outside.

The pilot of the single-seat jet was supposed to fire at a target on the ground three and half miles away from school, said Col. Brian Webster, commander of the 177th Fighter Wing of the New Jersey Air National Guard. He does not know what happened that led to the school getting shot up.

The plane was 7,000 feet in the air when the shots were fired. The gun, an M61-A1 Vulcan cannon, is located in the plane's left wing. It fires 2-inch-long bullets that are made of lead and do not explode, said Webster.

"The National Guard takes this situation very seriously," said Lt. Col. Roberta Niedt, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Military and Veterans Affairs. "The safety of our people and the surrounding communities are our foremost concern."

Schools in New Jersey were closed Thursday because of a teachers convention.

Webster would not identify the pilot or detail possible disciplinary measures.

Mike Dupuis, president of the township's Board of Education, said school workers are mindful that the firing range is nearby.

"Being so close to the range, that's always in the back of our minds. It is very scary. I have children in that school and relatives that work there," he said.

The range has been used by the military since the end of World War II, long before this area of south Jersey was developed.

kirjtc2

11-06-2004, 11:06 PM

Not sure if this is "weird news" or not, but it begs the question: why the hell are they shaving there in the first place?

------

Football players' illness blamed on body shaving
Infected by superbugs: U.S. college athletes shaving chests, groins

Tom Spears
CanWest News Service

November 6, 2004

Drug-resistant "superbugs" are infecting U.S. football players everywhere from high schools to the pros, and a doctor has traced a major route for the infections: Cosmetic body shaving.

Players develop infections through microscopic razor nicks after shaving their chests, arms, legs and especially groins and genitals, Dr. Elizabeth Begier reports in a medical journal. Artificial turf burns also let in the bacteria.

And they spread it from player to player by body contact, especially among cornerbacks and wide receivers. Some players have needed weeks of intravenous drug therapy in hospital to clear up the life-threatening Staphylococcus A infections.

There were several outbreaks of drug-resistant infections among football players in the 2003 season, so Dr. Begier, who works for the Connecticut Department of Public Health, went hunting for the cause.

Her team checked out 100 players on a Connecticut college team -- its identity is a secret -- and found 10 of them were infected. Two had to be hospitalized.

Staph A infections can begin with skin infections, but can spread through the body and cause inflammation and painful, liquid-filled abscesses.

The drug-resistant form of the bug is often found in hospitals, but also attacks healthy people, often through breaks in the skin.

And the college boys were asking for trouble. They shared towels. They shared a whirlpool bath that was not disinfected well enough. There was no soap in the showers.

Players got "turf burns" from hitting the ground, causing breaks in the skin.

Most of all, a quarter of the team shaved their bodies -- not to improve their performance, like swimmers, but because they liked the look.

Most of the infected players (seven out of 10) came from the body-shaving minority, Dr. Begier found. For some reason, most were wide receivers or cornerbacks; she theorizes these players collide in a way that spreads the infection more than linemen.

But it was the shaving that really caught her eye.

Twelve of the team's 100 players shaved their chests; seven shaved the groin; six their arms; two their legs; two their abdomen. Two shaved their ankles. One shaved under his arms. Some shaved two or more different sites.

Bad move, she found.

"Players who reported body shaving were 6.1 times more likely to develop MRSA [superbug] infections," she reports in the journal Clinical Infectious Diseases.

"Shaving genitals or the groin was associated with a higher infection risk than shaving other body sites." That's where 43% of the infections came from.

While their groins were covered during practice, the young men are believed to have picked up bacteria on their exposed hands and arms, and transferred it to the groin area later, possibly in the whirlpool or while changing.

Some of the resulting infections were severe. One player had arthritis-like inflammation and after three weeks of intravenous drugs, he found a new abscess had formed in his chin. Another player with arm and leg infections took antibiotic pills for five weeks, but still needed two weeks in hospital when a new abscess formed in his arm.

The young men were slow to understand that these razor nicks were enough to pose a threat, the doctor said. "It's not intuitive to the young men involved in this.... Even if you don't see it, there are small breaks there."

The college team has installed soap dispensers in the shower and is swabbing out the whirlpool more thoroughly now, she reports.

Dr. Begier does not know if the footballers are still shaving.

dchester

11-09-2004, 09:18 PM

Woman charged with having sex with 8-year-old 'boyfriend' (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-11-08-child-assault_x.htm)

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) ? A woman faces charges of having a sexual relationship with an 8-year-old boy whom investigators said she considers her boyfriend.

Tammy Imre, 29, was arrested Friday and charged with sexual assault and risk of injury to a minor. A judge set bond at $250,000 Monday.

Police began investigating in September after the boy's mother discovered a letter Imre had written him, in which she tells the boy she doesn't "want anyone but you."

She continued: "Now tomorrow it's supposed to rain, you can come over we can (you know what)."

Police said the boy, the playmate of Imre's 7-year-old daughter, initially denied doing anything with Imre because he feared getting into trouble. He later admitted having sexual relations with her.

Police said Imre told investigators she plans to marry the boy someday.

If convicted, Imre could serve more than 20 years in prison. A trial date has not been set.

:huh: :shake: :confused:
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BobKraftsCoozie

11-10-2004, 02:51 PM

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/2004/02/13/346668.html

The Boston Herald is reporting that Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake, whose real name is Ed Leslie, has checked himself into rehab after a terror scare at a Massachusetts Bay subway station.

Leslie, whose most noted in the wrestling industry for his friendship with, Hulk Hogan, and his run in the WWE as the 'Dream Team' with partner Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, was working for the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority as a part-time fare collector at a ticket booth in the subway.

According to the Herald, Leslie left a bag of cocaine in the booth and a subway rider thought that it was anthrax. Due to terrorism fears, the building was evacuated.

MBTA Deputy Police Chief, Thomas McCarthy, told Laurel J. Sweet of the Herald that Leslie came clean to spare MBTA costumers and co-workers any more trouble.

They also reported that he was co-operative with the police.

Leslie worked in the then WWF now WWE in the late 1980's and early 1990's. He was known for cutting the hair of his opponents after pinning them in the ring. In August 1985, he teamed with Greg "The Hammer" Valentine to win the WWF Tag Team Titles from Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo. The Dream Team lost the belts to the British Bulldogs after seven months.

In a parasailing accident he broke the bone structure in his face. He had to have surgery to repair it using over 100 metal plates. Brutus Beefcake reappeared on the scene of the WWF.He began a talk show through WWF called "The Barber Shop". It featured many great moments including the break-up of the Rockers where Shawn Michaels threw his partner Marty Jannetty through the Barber Shop window.

He started wrestling with a special "mask" to secure his face. He even teamed with a formerly "retired" Hogan to wrestle against Ted DiBiase and I.R.S. (Michael Rotunda) at Wrestlemania IX. In 1993, Hogan went to WCW and Leslie followed.

He turned on Hogan and became "The Butcher" for a while, joining the Three Faces Of Fear. It was unsuccessful. Leslie then became The Zodiac, a member of the Dungeon of Doom. After that failed Leslie left WCW for a brief hiatus, before returning in 1996 as The Booty Man.

In February 1998, the Disciple appeared by the side of Hollywood Hogan. He had a brief feud with Diamond Dallas Page. His job was to save Hogan. After that he joined the Ultimate Warrior in a feud against Hogan. In December of '98 all three were gone from the WCW.

In May '00 Leslie appeared in the Extreme Wrestling Federation (EWF). He had a 25-minute match with their new Television Champion, Rex Diamond, which ended in a no contest. He is supposed to appear at the Wrestlemania 1 tribute held by Fan Slam Fest.

"I didn't hear anything about Ed," said Tommy Fierro, Promoter of Fan Slam. "He would notify me if he was unable to attend."

The tribute is the day before Wrestlemania 20, March 13, in New Jersey.

There is no word yet from his wife or from fellow wrestlers.

dchester

11-11-2004, 01:02 PM

Apparently she was having problems finding people who were willing to boink her for free.

Teacher charged with criminal sex abuse; Teens were reportedly paid for services (http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/111004_ns_teacher_sex.html)

By Sarah Schulte

November 10, 2004 ? Three Chicago teens claim a public school teacher paid them thousands of dollars for sex. Senorita Walker was arrested this week on charges of criminal sexual abuse. She is being held on a $300,000 bond.

Walker is a 33 year old mother of a 5 year old son. She is accused of paying 3 teenage boys a total of $5,000 for sex. Prosecutors say she gave a written statement implicating herself in the crime. The students reported her after walker told them she had a new boyfriend and wanted to move on with her life

The rumors had been circulating around Corliss High School for days. It wasn't until principal Anthony Spivey heard it firsthand did he believe that three of his male students were having sex for money with the 33 -year -old Chicago public school teacher.

"They shared some information with me that I thought was very horrible and so at that particular point I started following Chicago Public Schools policy and when informed of suspected child abuse which is the way I looked at it," said Spivey.

Police say special education teacher senorita walker began having sex with her three victims at the beginning of the summer. She approached one of the kids on a South Side basketball court.

"She got his telephone number and a few days later called him. She picked up the victim and another victim, drove them back to her home, where she did perform sexual acts on these two boys," said Mary Anna Planey, assistant state's attorney.

On other occasions, a third victim became involved. Prosecutors say walker allegedly supplied marijuana and alcohol and paid the kids for the services.

"The very first time she had any sexual contact with the first victim she did pay him $100. On the second time she paid one of the victims $200," said Planey.

Walker currently teaches at Robeson High School. She met one of her victims while they both were at Kohn elementary. The allegations against Walker come as a surprise to Kohn's principal, who always thought Walker was a good teacher.

"They're screened before the board of education before they come here and we interview. I'm not a psychologist. I can't always pick up on what could be an issue with a staff member," said Cecellia Smith, Kohn School principal.

Senorita Walker has been suspended with pay. She began working for Chicago Public Schools in 1995.

Walker has worked a seven other schools besides Robeson. She does not have a criminal record in Cook County. If Walker is convicted on all three counts of criminal sexual abuse, she faces three to seven years in prison.
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kirjtc2

11-15-2004, 11:03 AM

Saskatchewan Roughriders kicker Paul McCallum pulled a Scott Norwood in their CFL semi-final yesterday, and fans have responded accordingly:

http://sask.cbc.ca/regionalnews/caches/riders_mccallum041115.html

Frustrated fans target kicker's home
REGINA - Some unhappy football fans took their anger out on the home of Saskatchewan Roughrider Paul McCallum in Regina Sunday night.

The Rider kicker missed two field goals in Sunday's CFL West Division Final against the B.C. Lions in Vancouver, including an 18-yard attempt in overtime.

The Riders lost 27-25, sending the Lions to the Grey Cup game against the Toronto Argonauts in Ottawa next weekend.

Staff Sgt. Ron Buddecke of the Regina Police Service says McCallum's wife called police after an excessive number of cars drove by their Regina home.

The house was later pelted with eggs and a load of manure was dumped off, along with notes directed at McCallum. Buddecke says other threats were also made against McCallum.

He says police know at least one of the individuals involved, and charges will be laid.

mgoblue101415

11-16-2004, 01:52 PM

Flight Attendant, Airline Sued Over Alleged Sexual Act
Colorado Woman Says Male Attendant Masturbated While On Flight

POSTED: 10:51 am MST November 16, 2004

DENVER -- A Fort Collins woman has filed a lawsuit after she said a United Airlines flight attendant masturbated in front of her while on a flight.

Austin Godinez said in her suit that the male flight attendant gave free drinks to her and two female co-workers during a Detroit to Denver flight last November, then told her that she was his sexual fantasy.

According to the suit, the flight attendant began masturbating in front of her while he was in a section of the galley where only she could see him.

"In a state of shock, Ms. Godinez stood there looking (the flight attendant) in the eye, telling herself not to look down," according to the suit.

The lawsuit stated that Godinez, 24, didn't know if she stood there for "five seconds or five minutes."

United Airlines and the flight attendant are named as defendants, although the flight attendant is identified only as "Billy Doe." The suit claims violation of the Colorado Consumer Protection Act and breach of contract. It also alleges outrageous conduct and assault.

A spokesman for United Airlines said the airline has conducted its own investigation, but declined comment, other than to say the company would defend its case and its employee in court, which indicates the flight attendant is still employed.

Copyright 2004 by TheDenverChannel.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

She made sure to look him in the eyes, and not down. :huh: Question.... If she was so dang offended, if he indeed did do it, why was she looking at him at all?????? She couldn't have looked at the person next to her? Or out the window? Or her shoes? Give me a break.

mgoblue101415

11-16-2004, 01:58 PM

This woman should be charged with stupidity. Forget the murderers and thieves, a person this stupid out on the streets scares me even more.

Charges dropped in bogus $200 Bush bill

Monday, November 15, 2004 Posted: 8:46 AM EST (1346 GMT)

GREENSBURG, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Charges have been dropped against a woman who paid for clothes with a fake $200 bill that featured President Bush's picture and the serial number DUBYA4U2001.

Westmoreland County prosecutors dropped all charges Friday against Deborah L. Trautwine, 51, after she paid the store in real currency.

Trautwine wasn't aware that the bill wasn't actual legal tender, said her attorney, Harry Smail Jr.

A clerk at a Fashion Bug clothing store also apparently was fooled by the funny money.

She gave Trautwine $100.58 in change following an August transaction.

There is no $200 denomination bill, even without Bush's picture on it.

The back of the phony bill depicted the White House with several signs erected on the front lawn, including those reading "We Like Broccoli" and "USA Deserves A Tax Cut."

mgoblue101415

11-16-2004, 02:02 PM

Hmmm... Are these kids related to kid in Florida who told his mom about the teacher he was sleeping with?? Perhaps I'm wrong in my idea of how teenage boys act and think but how many of you guys around here would have gone and thrown the DVDs out AND told Granny about it??? I'm guessing not too many.

Man Accused Of Giving Porn To Trick-Or-Treaters
13-Year-Old Boys Say Man Dropped DVDs In Their Halloween Bags

POSTED: 6:18 am MST November 16, 2004
UPDATED: 10:27 am MST November 16, 2004

BOULDER, Colo. -- A Boulder man who children said put pornographic DVDs in their Halloween sacks last month has been arrested on suspicion of felony obscenity and could face more than a year in prison, police said.

Officers arrested Andrew McClure Johnson, 23, on Saturday, nearly two weeks after he allegedly dropped DVDs into the bags of two 13-year-old boys who went to his door Oct. 31.

According to a police report, the man who opened the door of Johnson's home said he would look to see if he had anything to give the boys. When the man returned, he reportedly asked the teenagers whether they had DVD players.

They answered yes, and the man gave them the DVDs -- one labeled "C-man," while the other pictured a woman performing oral sex, the report indicated.

The boys said they heard laughter after the man closed the door. Believing that the DVDs were bad and that they would get in trouble for having them, the two crushed the discs on the ground, the report said. One of the teens reported the incident to his grandmother, who called police.

Authorities said Johnson later admitted giving the DVDs to the boys, but said he felt bad afterward and told officers he "didn't know what he was thinking."

Johnson posted bond and was released from the Boulder County Jail. He could be sentenced to 18 months in prison if convicted of felony obscenity.

Police said Johnson, who works for the online bookstore of Westwood College, had no previous criminal history in Colorado.

Copyright 2004 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

mgoblue101415

11-16-2004, 02:19 PM

I guess this is more news of the stupid as well, rather than weird but had to share this one. I think this guy should get discharged because with him over in the Middle East fighting I don't feel too safe.

Marine asks leniency for wife who plotted against him

Robert Anglen
The Arizona Republic
Nov. 16, 2004 12:00 AM

A Marine who was nearly killed when a fellow Marine threw a grenade at him last year begged a federal judge Monday to show mercy on the woman who helped plan the attack.

"Most people don't understand how I can stand up here and stand behind my wife," Chief Warrant Officer Houston Glass said. "She's a great, loving, caring mom who loves her children dearly. And her children love her dearly."

The attack, meant to look like a terrorist strike on a Kuwaiti guard shack, was the culmination of an affair between Wendy Glass and another Marine stationed with her husband at Marine Air Station Yuma.

Wendy admitted to authorities that she and her lover, Larry Framness, hatched two similar plots to kill her husband before settling on the grenade. On May 13, after both men were deployed to Kuwait, Framness led Houston to the guard shack under the pretense of needing help. Once inside, Framness found shelter and released the grenade.

Wendy, 35, who pleaded guilty in June, wiped tears and hair from her face as she spoke to the judge. In a tremulous voice, she choked out an apology and asked for the minimum sentence of 72 months.

"I just want to say I am sorry for the horrible decisions I made that caused so many horrible things to other families," she said. "My children will be without me for the best parts of their lives."

But Judge Stephen McNamee of U.S. District Court in Phoenix appeared unmoved by the emotional plea. Calling the case "unfathomable" and "sad," he sentenced Wendy to 87 months in prison and five years' probation.

"This is a terrible, terrible crime and a terrible set of circumstances," McNamee said. "This is another case that we are seeing these days where passion overrides reason."

McNamee reminded Wendy that if she had succeeded in her plans that her children would have been without a father. "You will have the ability to capture some of their later lives," he said.

Several times during the short hearing, McNamee seemed to suggest that federal laws prevented him from handing down a stiffer sentence for interfering with a military operation.

He said Glass attempted "to commit murder in a war zone by disguising it as a terrorist attack.

"It certainly caused absolute chaos over there."

The judge said he also took into account her cooperation with the prosecution of Framness, who received a sentence of 25 years to life in a military court-martial.

Despite extensive wounds and multiple surgeries that left him scarred for life, Houston told the court that his wife "didn't want me to get hurt."

He blamed Framness.

"I wasn't there to provide support for her," he said. "There was somebody . . . who took advantage."

But Assistant U.S. Attorney Sharon Sexton told the court that Houston was already arranging appearances on talk shows. She said requests to consider the children should be weighed by the fact that Houston is willing to exploit them on national television.

"His comments are somewhat suspect," Sexton said, asking the judge not to act "on the pleas of a man who, in my opinion, does not see things clearly."

mgoblue101415

11-16-2004, 02:23 PM

There are a couple NFL owners I can see doing this... Um, Al Davis anyone???

ROFL

Mon 15 Nov 2004

3:41pm (UK)
Irate Soccer Boss Tries to Run over Ref

A first-division soccer match was abandoned in Moldova after a furious club official drove his car onto the pitch and tried to run over the referee when the opposing side was awarded a penalty.

The incident happened in Floreni, about six miles from the capital Chisinau, during a match between Roso Floreni and Politehnica Chisinau.

In the 15th minute, referee Vitalie Onica awarded a penalty kick to the visitors when the score was 1-1.

When Politehnica scored, Roso’s chairman Mihai Macovei drove his car onto the pitch and tried to run over the referee several times, but Onica managed to dodge the car each time.

Macovei left the pitch, but tried to return later with his car only to be stopped by several police officers who arrived on the scene, said Politehnica coach Ion Caras, adding that it was only by chance that no one was hurt.

The Moldovan federation fined Macovei £1,000 today. An investigation into the incident is still underway.

Undertaker #59

11-17-2004, 09:58 AM

Mom Breastfeeds Puppy to Protect Baby

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A woman in New Zealand says she is breastfeeding her pet puppy because she wants it to protect her baby daughter as they both grow up.

Kura Tumanako told the NZPA news agency Wednesday that she had started breastfeeding the Staffordshire bull terrier pup after her baby stopped taking her milk.

"I didn't want to waste it so I gave it to Honey Boy," she said.

According to NZPA, Tumanako said she had fed the dog twice a day for the past week but would probably wean it off in about six weeks' time. Her baby, now 2 months old, is on bottled milk.

"I wanted to raise it (the pup) with my baby," she said. "I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up," said Tumanako, who lives in Hastings in New Zealand's North Island.

"He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish."

Moebius

11-17-2004, 10:54 AM

Not quite so weird, but funny none-the-less.

Yankee fans Cursing at Damon pic

BY MELISSA GRACE
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

This image of Johnny Damon is ticking off Yankee fans.

Still disturbed by the Boston Red Sox's Curse-ending success, Yankee fans now have to put up with seeing a likeness of Beantown sparkplug Johnny Damon on lampposts in Brooklyn.
A stenciled image of the long-haired outfielder with a red B on his cap has been popping up across Carroll Gardens, driving Bomber fans bananas.

"Breaking the Curse is still no excuse for defacing public property," fumed Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz.

The 10-inch-high, spray-painted stencils of the slugger known as "Caveman" have been spotted on at least eight lampposts along Court and Clinton Sts.

The shenanigans have led to a lot of finger-pointing in a neighborhood full of Yankee fans still reeling from the Bombers' defeat by the Sox in the American League Championship Series.

"One guy in there is a Red Sox fanatic," said Court St. pizzeria owner Ralph Buoncore, pointing to a deli across the street.

But Wilson Gil, 26, wasn't copping to the graffiti from behind the deli's counter. "I would like to know!" he said, proclaiming his innocence.

"It's cool," added the sandwich maker, a fan of the Mets and Bosox slugger Manny Ramirez.

Regina McFadden, director of the Gowanus Artist Open Studio Tour, offered a critique of the mystery stenciler's handiwork.

"I think it's some very creative teenagers," said McFadden. "It's definitely not anyone from Gowanus Artists!"

City Department of Transportation spokesman Tom Cocola vowed that Damon's image would be scrubbed away in coming days.

"Hopefully, in the next day or two, there will be no Johnny Damon in Brooklyn," Cocola said.

Originally published on November 17, 2004

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/253655p-217098c.html

Undertaker #59

11-25-2004, 06:02 AM

Guys, here is an article to show your wives or girlfriends.

PA_PATS_FAN54*

11-29-2004, 08:22 AM

Hockey Player Suspended After Mooning Fans

WHEELING, W.Va. (AP) -- A minor league hockey player sitting in the stands was suspended after dropping his pants to fans in the crowd.

Dan Sullivan of the Reading Royals was suspended Thursday for 12 games and fined an undisclosed sum by the ECHL for "making multiple obscene gestures" during the Nov. 7 game against the Wheeling Nailers at WesBanco Arena.

The Royals already had indefinitely suspended Sullivan for his actions. Team spokesman John Curtis said Sullivan most likely will not play for the club again.

Sullivan, who was in the stands with another player, began arguing with fans and dropped his pants, according to Wheeling fans and one of the team's owners.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/H/HKO_DROPPED_PANTS?SITE=CASTO&SECTION=US&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
"It was a tight game, and I heard he was probably getting some taunting from the fans," Nailers co-owner Rob Brooks said. "But that's in all sports, so it's up to the players to stay responsible."

Sullivan, a right wing, had played four games for Reading.

"We insist that our athletes adhere to very professional levels of conduct and that all their actions represent this organization with class and dignity," Royals general manager Ray Delia said.

BizarroAnnihilus

12-01-2004, 10:27 AM

Men Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20041201/ap_on_fe_st/dirt_dumping_arrest)

COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho - Two men have been arrested for dumping dirt in a national forest. The Kootenai County Sheriff's Department said the men, who have not been publicly identified, were arrested at a garage in Coeur d'Alene where the dirt had been removed and the base apparently prepared for paving.

Deputy Robert Gomez said the U.S. Forest Service confirmed that it was illegal to dump anything, including dirt, on the federal land.

Gomez said he asked the two men about dumping dirt in the national forest "and they went off on a tirade about Mother Earth."

The deputy quoted the pair as saying they had taken "perfectly good dirt" from the garage area and dumped it under a big fir tree where they used rakes to spread the soil to make it look nice.

"They both said it was a good job having given back the dirt to Mother Earth," Gomez said.

PA_PATS_FAN54*

12-01-2004, 10:30 AM

Originally posted by Annihilus
Men Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=816&e=1&u=/ap/20041201/ap_on_fe_st/dirt_dumping_arrest)

COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho - Two men have been arrested for dumping dirt in a national forest. The Kootenai County Sheriff's Department said the men, who have not been publicly identified, were arrested at a garage in Coeur d'Alene where the dirt had been removed and the base apparently prepared for paving.

Deputy Robert Gomez said the U.S. Forest Service confirmed that it was illegal to dump anything, including dirt, on the federal land.

Gomez said he asked the two men about dumping dirt in the national forest "and they went off on a tirade about Mother Earth."

The deputy quoted the pair as saying they had taken "perfectly good dirt" from the garage area and dumped it under a big fir tree where they used rakes to spread the soil to make it look nice.

"They both said it was a good job having given back the dirt to Mother Earth," Gomez said. :blink: um ok officer I will never dump dirt in the woods again. no prob, i'm gonna go now k? :blink:

dchester

12-01-2004, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by PA_PATS_FAN54
:blink: um ok officer I will never dump dirt in the woods again. no prob, i'm gonna go now k? :blink: No wonder you can never find a cop when you need one.
:confused:

The nerve of those guys, dumping perfectly good dirt into the woods. Who do they think they are?
:huh:
________
swed (http://smokeweedeveryday.org/)

Moebius

12-01-2004, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by dchester
No wonder you can never find a cop when you need one.
:confused:

The nerve of those guys, dumping perfectly good dirt into the woods. Who do they think they are?
:huh:

Yeah, but suppose the dirt in the woods doesn't like the dirt from the garage. Suppose they make fun of the new dirt on the block. Think of the mental turmoil these thoughtless idiots have subjected this perfectly innocent dirt too.

PA_PATS_FAN54*

12-01-2004, 12:29 PM

Originally posted by Moebius
Yeah, but suppose the dirt in the woods doesn't like the dirt from the garage. Suppose they make fun of the new dirt on the block. Think of the mental turmoil these thoughtless idiots have subjected this perfectly innocent dirt too.

or......... suppose that particular Fir tree grows at a faster rate than the other Fir's then you have one big nasty tree hogging all the sun light! :cuss: stupid people don't know the detrimental effects a healthy tree can cause to a forest! The gall to rake out the dirt as well! :harumph: :blink:

B A Rabbit

12-02-2004, 08:04 PM

Seriously I think it has to do with the worms. Who knows what kind of crap those outside worms have been expossed to? And to lay all that on those Nationally protected worms. Think about it? What if somebody took an outside worm and used it to fish in a river at Yellowstone? Maybe that Worm would fall off the hook and be eaten by a fish and become tainted. Maybe a bear would then eat the tainted fish and become Mad. He might then attack some wayward campers in the middle of the night. (Maybe one memeber of the camping party was the same guy that used the tainted worm, but I doubt it.)
What if one of those campers survived, but was hospitalized with emotional distress or something.... He (or she) would wake up screaming in the middle of the night for years, Or maybe he or she would reprease those memories, and pawn them off on their childern with years of mental abuse....

Maybe, Just maybe, those cops who stopped those men from dumping that dirt saved the world or made space travel possible.

Now, don't you feel silly for making light of these Cops selfless and amazing work in dealing with the dirt dumpers? Shame on you. :mad:

B A Rabbit

12-03-2004, 01:23 PM

Who Wears the Wrong Size Condom?

Thu Dec 2, 8:51 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - Most German men wear condoms of the wrong size, a condom distributor said on Wednesday, after asking more than 2,500 men to measure their erect penis.

"People measure their feet when they buy shoes. Why shouldn't they measure their penises? A man would not wear children's shoes," said Jan Vinzenz Krause of Vinico, which released the study's findings on World AIDS Day.

Most condom boxes in Germany indicated size but men, due to embarrassment or vanity, rarely checked or just bought those marked "extra large," he said.

Vinico's survey recommended various brands to be used -- depending on the endowment of the wearer.

The study found the average erect penis size was 14.7 cm (5-3/4 inches), with 40 percent of participants reporting lengths between 12 and 15 cm (4-3/4 and 5-7/8 inches).

When compared with the condoms normally used by the participants, the results showed only 18 percent wore the right size, with nearly half squeezing into condoms that were too small and 34 percent trying to use those that were too big.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=573&e=12&u=/nm/20041202/od_nm/germany_condoms_dc

bideau

12-07-2004, 11:56 AM

This guy must make all Granite Staters feel very proud :p

DOVER — A man who allegedly tried to burn his ex-girlfriend’s apartment building with Molotov cocktails, then fled on a riding lawnmower, was held in lieu of $25,000 cash bail after being arraigned on felony charges yesterday.

Steven W. Coleman, 37, of 31 Upper Factory Drive was arrested after leading police on a brief, low-speed pursuit aboard his mower after allegedly hurling two glass Budweiser bottles filled with gasoline and plugged with rags at the front and rear doors of 11 Mineral Park Drive about 10:17 p.m. Saturday.

The homemade bombs did not burst into flames, although police said the rags appeared to have been lighted and that the situation could have been deadly. Mineral Park Drive is home to several units owned by Dover Housing Authority.

“You have a residential building with four units where several people are living and what appears to be an attempt to set the apartment on fire,” Dover Police Capt. Anthony Colarusso said. “It could have resulted in injury or even death.”

While the Molotov cocktail that Coleman allegedly threw at the front door did not break, the bomb he allegedly threw at the rear door shattered, spilling gasoline and sending fumes into nearby apartments. Two residents were treated for breathing difficulty from the gas fumes, police said.

Coleman was arraigned in Dover District Court yesterday on class A felonies of criminal trespass and attempted arson and a class A misdemeanor of resisting arrest. He could face up to 31 years in jail if convicted on all charges.

Coleman was wearing yellow rubber gloves and holding a full bottle of Budweiser beer in his left breast jacket when he drove his lawn mower in the dark on Whittier Street and Tolend Road as police followed in a cruiser with lights flashing and sirens blaring, according to an affidavit filed by Dover Police.

“At one point, Coleman turned around and looked directly at (a police cruiser),” Dover police prosecutor George Wattendorf wrote in an affidavit. “Coleman appeared calm as he was smoking a cigarette.”

It was when police got out of their cars and walked toward Coleman, who is listed as 6 feet, 2 inches tall and weighing 300 pounds, that he stopped and turned himself in. The make of Coleman’s mower was not available last night.

Coleman, who lives about a mile from Mineral Park Drive, told police he was coming from a convenience store and that he was wearing yellow rubber gloves because the weather was cold, according to an affidavit. Police said they also found matches in Coleman’s pocket.

Police charged Coleman with criminal trespass, because he had been under a protective order barring him from Dover Housing Authority property. Colarusso said police were familiar with Coleman through “various incidents” and “disturbances.”

Coleman is scheduled to appear again in Dover District Court on Dec. 14. If he posts bail, he is barred from contacting any witnesses to the incident, having weapons or using alcohol or drugs. He continues to be barred from Dover Housing Authority property.

B A Rabbit

12-07-2004, 08:10 PM

Coleman is scheduled to appear again in Dover District Court on Dec. 14. If he posts bail, he is barred from contacting any witnesses to the incident, having weapons or using alcohol or drugs. He continues to be barred from Dover Housing Authority property.

But he is still allowed to smoke, go figger

Hawg73

12-07-2004, 09:27 PM

I'm glad you posted that story Bideau.

I was howling after reading a slightly different version earlier tonight that mentioned that he was involved with police in a "low-speed chase".

I did not know about the yellow rubber gloves and the pocket bud. Some pertinent details there.

I already told my wife that if I ever get so bad that I start driving a lawn mower to a convenience store for ANY reason, then she has my permission to shoot me.

I knew this story reminded me of something and then it hit me that Vince Gill did a song kind of reminiscent of this:

First she hid my glasses
'Cause she knows that I can't see
She said you ain't goin' nowhere boy
'Til you spend a little time with me
Then the boys called from the honky tonk
Said there's a party goin' on down here
Well she might've took my car keys
But she forgot about my old John Deere

mgoblue101415

12-09-2004, 11:28 AM

Whatever gets you off.... Literally. ROFL :LOL: :D :LOL: ROFL

U-M bars Harrison in indecent-exposure case

December 8, 2004

BY MARYANNE GEORGE
FREE PRESS ANN ARBOR BUREAU

Michigan defensive lineman Larry Harrison Jr. was suspended from the team after he was arraigned Tuesday in Ann Arbor on one count of indecent exposure. Harrison, a redshirt sophomore from Detroit King, allegedly masturbated on the porch of a house occupied by several women near the U-M campus shortly after midnight.

Harrison, a suspect in 14 other cases of indecent exposure in campus neighborhoods since August, was caught in the act by a police officer who was part of a surveillance team, said Ann Arbor police Lt. Chris Heatley.

Harrison was observed by police at the home in the 700 block of South Division Street and was arrested without incident. Harrison is also a suspect in a similar incident that occurred about 8:30 p.m. Monday on Minerva Street, near the U-M campus.

"The charges are very serious and very alarming," coach Lloyd Carr said in a statement as the school suspended Harrison from the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl. "I can only hope they are not true."

Harrison started six of 11 games at defensive end. He ranks 12th on the team in tackles with 24.

Police gave this account of the events leading up to his arrest:

Harrison's vehicle had been spotted in the area of another incident before Monday night. When it was spotted again about midnight in the area of South Division, police began following him. Surveillance teams have been working campus neighborhoods since August in an effort to apprehend a suspect.

The description of the suspect matched Harrison in several of the cases. In some of the incidents, the suspect covered his face. Harrison had been identified as a suspect before his arrest early Tuesday.

Police studied the U-M schedule and noticed the incidents stopped when Harrison was playing in out-of-town games. Heatley declined to give details of how Harrison, 6-feet-3, 313 pounds, was identified as a suspect.

Harrison, 20, appeared in 15th District Court wearing handcuffs, a yellow jersey and low-slung blue jeans without a belt. His attorney, Joe Simon, and his father, Larry Harrison, pulled Harrison's pants up to his waist several times during the arraignment.

Harrison stood mute on the charge. He faces up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine, and would be required to provide a DNA sample if convicted.

Magistrate Michael Gatti ordered a television camera removed from the courtroom. Ann Arbor police and Simon asked that the camera be turned off because Harrison's picture is expected to be placed in a lineup in the other cases.

Ann Arbor police detective Chris Fitzpatrick asked Gatti to issue a $100,000 bond because "Mr. Harrison is a threat to the Ann Arbor community." Fitzpatrick argued that if he were convicted in the other cases, Harrison could be charged as a sexually delinquent person, a felony with penalties from one day to life in prison.

But Gatti set bond at $500 and ordered Harrison to remain in the custody of his father, who agreed to monitor his son's activities. Harrison also was ordered to avoid alcohol and drugs and not to engage in incidents of indecent exposure. His parents declined to comment, and his mother threw a coat over her son's head as he left the courtroom.

Harrison posted the bond and was released to his parents, police said. He is scheduled for a Jan. 21 pretrial conference.

Harrison is the second U-M player in a little more than a week to have a run-in with the law.

Offensive lineman Adam Stenavich was arrested Nov. 27 in his hometown of Marshfield, Wis., and accused of disorderly conduct. Charges are still pending. Carr has yet to determine if and how he would discipline Stenavich, an All-Big Ten player.

With Harrison suspended from the Rose Bowl game against Texas, sophomore Rondell Biggs is a likely candidate to replace him in the starting lineup. Biggs started ahead of Harrison at left end in the first game of the season.

The only other player who made a start at left end this season, sophomore Jeremy Van Alstyne, might not be available for the Rose Bowl because of an undisclosed injury he suffered in the regular-season finale at Ohio State. Freshman Alan Branch also might play more in the bowl.

bideau

12-14-2004, 09:11 AM

December 14, 2004

ALGER, Wash. (AP) -- If you're going to settle that fiery football bar bet, at least be careful about who's around.

Three men who had been watching the Monday Night Football game earlier this month between Seattle and Dallas at the Alger Tavern in this Skagit County town stepped outside to settle up.

One of them had promised to burn his Seahawks' memorabilia if Seattle lost, which is exactly what happened.

True to his word, the man walked outside, stripped off his jersey and hat, and lit them afire on the tavern's walkway, the Skagit Valley Herald reported.

But a State Patrol sergeant drove by just at that moment and cited the trio -- ages 22, 25 and 32 -- for reckless burning. If convicted, they could face maximum penalties of a $1,000 fine and 90 days in jail.

B A Rabbit

12-14-2004, 06:34 PM

First the Arm pillow, now the lap pillow....

No accompanying story mind you, But I figured one fine turn deserved another....

Oedipus Tex

12-17-2004, 06:42 AM

Mexican cannibal kills, grills lover for breakfast

MEXICO CITY, Dec 15 (Reuters) - A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days.

Police found Gumaro de Dios Arias grilling rotting human flesh for his breakfast, including part of a heart, when they raided a shack he lived in near the Caribbean beach resort of Playa del Carmen, a police chief said on Wednesday.

"He was preparing stews. There was a grill where he was cooking part of the heart and bits he had cut off the body. It was terrible, terrible," said local police chief Martin Estrada, who was among a dozen police who raided the shack.

Arias told police the victim, a young man, arrived at his cardboard hut in a wasteland area with a mutual friend who then left the two of them drinking and taking drugs.

The pair had sex and afterward a fight broke out during which he killed the man with blows to the head, police said.

Police arrested Arias, 25, on Tuesday after a tip off.

"They said there was a person eating a person," Estrada said.

"We found him lying on a folding bed and to one side was the corpse which had been torn apart and which it seems he had been eating for three days," he told Reuters.

The corpse, which had its back ripped open and its innards pulled out, was missing various parts, like a thigh, he said.

Oedipus Tex

12-17-2004, 06:43 AM

Taco Bell employee pleads innocent on charges of poisoning officer

SANTA MARIA, Calif. A Taco Bell employee has pleaded innocent to charges of giving a poison-spiked burrito to a California Highway Patrol officer.
Pedro Sanchez allegedly told Santa Maria authorities he put a liquid graffiti-removal solution in the officer's food as retaliation after witnessing an altercation between police and students at his high school that day.C-H-P officer Martin Ledesma bought the allegedly poisoned burrito. After taking several bites, he felt a burning sensation in his mouth and detected a strange odor.Ledesma was examined at a hospital November 10th, but he didn't need to be admitted.Sanchez, who's 17, is free on a 40-thousand dollar bail pending a January 10th hearing.

BizarroAnnihilus

01-04-2005, 04:45 PM

Evel Knievel pissed at being called a pimp (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=582&e=3&u=/nm/20050104/wr_nm/people_knievel_dc)

Site Wins Right to Dub Famed Stuntman 'Pimp'

By Adam Tanner

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel cannot sue a Web site that published a photo of him with two women above a caption reading "You're never too old to be a pimp," a U.S. appeals court ruled on Tuesday.

The term "pimp" was probably intended as a compliment, the court said. But Knievel said, "What good is law in the United States of America if five or six goddamn bimbos are going to rule against it?"

The Montana native sued after ESPN, a subsidiary of Walt Disney Co., published a photo of the famed stunt driver at the Action Sports and Music Awards in 2001 with his arms around his wife and a second young woman.

The photo on the EXPN.com Web site ran alongside that of other people with captions that, in the words of a lower court ruling, "contained loose, figurative, slang language."

The motorcycle rider, who gained notoriety jumping over rows of buses, trucks and other barriers in the 1960s and 1970s, sued, alleging the photo brought him and his wife "public disgrace and scandal."

After a Montana district court dismissed the case at the request of ESPN, Knievel appealed to the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals based in San Francisco.

"Although the word 'pimp' may be reasonably capable of defamatory meaning when read in isolation, we agree with the district court's assessment that 'the term loses its meaning when considered in the context presented here,"' Judge Wallace Tashima wrote for the three-judge panel.

"The term 'pimp' as used on the EXPN.com Web site was not intended as a criminal accusation, nor was it reasonably susceptible to such a literal interpretation. Ironically, it was most likely intended as a compliment."

In a dissent that quoted William Shakespeare, Judge Carlos Bea backed Knievel. "Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls," he wrote, quoting Shakespeare's Iago.

Then in his own voice, Bea wrote, "In my view, the word 'pimp' is reasonably susceptible to a defamatory meaning."

Informed of the decision by a telephone call to his home in Clearwater, Florida, Knievel responded angrily.

"They disregarded the goddamn law and they ought to be discharged, they ought to be ashamed of themselves," he told Reuters. "They ruled against the law. What good is law in the United States of America if five or six goddamn bimbos are going to rule against it?"

Knievel, 66, added that he would ask his lawyer to appeal the case to the Supreme Court.

dchester

01-06-2005, 03:57 PM

Another teacher giving "Private Lessons" to her students.

Teacher Charged With Having Sex With Teen Students (http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/4055460/detail.html)

Teacher Faces Multiple Counts Of Lewd Acts With Children

<center> <img src="http://images.ibsys.com/2005/0106/4052060.jpg "></center>

LOS ANGELES -- An Orange middle school teacher accused of having sexual contact with two 13-year-old boys who were former students is scheduled to be arraigned Thursday.

Sarah Suzanne Bench-Salorio, 28, of Orange, is charged with "multiple" counts of lewd acts with a child, according to Orange police Sgt. Dave Hill.

The suspect, who taught for two years at Santiago Charter Middle School, was arrested Tuesday, a day after one of the boys told his parents about the alleged contact with his former teacher, Hill said.

Bench-Salorio, who taught reading and English, was booked Wednesday at the Orange County Jail, with bail set at $1 million, a jail clerk said.

"Our investigation indicates that the teacher initiated the sexual contact, and that this contact took place over a period of several months," Hill said.

"We're looking at events that spanned several months throughout 2004, and part of that investigation is to determine if it happened sooner than that," Hill said.

"We believe the contact took place at various locations and we're investigating whether it was at the parties' homes or the school," Hill said.

After the one boy came forward, a follow-up investigation "determined there was a second victim," Hill said, but he did not know if both boys knew about each other.

"We are confident in the solidity of our charges," he said.

Bench-Salorio is married to Christopher Salorio, 30, an electrical foreman who garnered 45 percent of votes but lost a bid for trustee in the Orange Unified School District in the November election, the Los Angeles Times reported.

The couple are raising his three siblings -- ages 5, 10 and 14 -- as foster children, according to the newspaper.
________
Harley-Davidson FXDX (http://www.cyclechaos.com/wiki/Harley-Davidson_FXDX)

mgoblue101415

01-10-2005, 10:22 AM

Orange Bowl Notebook
Web Posted: 01/03/2005 12:00 AM CST

San Antonio Express-News

Carroll's wife has healing hands

Southern California tailback LenDale White credited his rapid improvement from a sprained right ankle to an unusual source.

"I've gotten better ever since Mrs. Carroll put her hands on my ankle at a party a few days ago and prayed for my recovery," White said of coach Pete Carroll's wife Glena. "The next morning, I woke up and it felt great. She is probably my guardian angel."

But Carroll good-naturedly discounted his wife's powers of faith when asked if she helped "cure" his running back.

"She's got great energy," Carroll said. "But I think they'll be lining up at my door if I say yes to that question."

White, who led the Trojans with 985 rushing yards, says he is at "90 percent" and should be ready for Tuesday's game.

"It won't affect me that much because I've been at 90 percent all season with a bunch of other little injuries," White said.

Flagg the Wanderer

01-10-2005, 09:41 PM

Tzaneen - Sexily-dressed women in a small Limpopo town have fallen prey to a group of teenage street kids that masturbate in public whenever they see them.

One woman, 24-year-old Gloria Shingange, had an embarrassing moment on Thursday when the boys drooled over her at the Tzaneen Mall because she was wearing a mini-skirt.

"They followed me around the mall with their hands inside their trousers. I walked out of the mall and when I stopped at the robot next to the Tzaneen police station they shouted saying I was attractive," Shingage said.

She said the boys took out their penises and started masturbating in full view of everyone while groaning in ecstasy.

Cops just laughed

"One of them said my legs were sexy. He then closed his eyes, grimaced and shouted at the top of his voice in apparent enjoyment of what he was doing," said Shingange.

"He held up his penis for everyone to see and started masturbating," she added.

"I was very embarrassed. They stopped traffic and all eyes were on me."

Shingange's embarrassment was however not going to end there.

The incident sent police officers at the Tzaneen station into stitches as she tried to open a case of public indecency.

The police allegedly refused to open a case, claiming that the street kids didn't commit any offence because they didn't touch her.

"They told me straight in the face that they were not taking my complaint because I wasn't raped," said Shingange.

Mopani police spokesperson Superintendent Moatshe Ngoepe said he wasn't aware of the matter.

"This is an act of public indecency and cannot be tolerated," Ngoepe said.

"Anyone who tries to open a case of any kind at a police station and finds no help must not leave the station without speaking to the station commissioner," he added.

Some people however have a different view.

Vegetable vendor Mthavini Khoza said she condoned the boys' action.

"These boys are doing the right thing because their actions are likely to reduce the tendencies of wearing 3cm (sic) skirts in public and embarrass every woman," she said.

"I wish they rape them one day so they may start respecting their bodies," Khoza said.

One of the boys, a 14-year-old whose name cannot be revealed because of his age, had no qualms to speak about the incident.

"I feel very happy after masturbating next to a woman with beautiful legs and wearing see-through clothes," the boy said.

"There is no girl out there who wants a filthy glue-sniffing street kid so the only way to relieve our sexual appetite is to masturbate," he explained....'Cause I mean, hey!

American kids are all whipped. Grow a spine and masterbate over hot chicks in public!

mgoblue101415

01-10-2005, 11:07 PM

Vegetable vendor Mthavini Khoza said she condoned the boys' action.

"These boys are doing the right thing because their actions are likely to reduce the tendencies of wearing 3cm (sic) skirts in public and embarrass every woman," she said.

"I wish they rape them one day so they may start respecting their bodies," Khoza said.

There are no words I could come up with to convey my thoughts on this woman's comments....

pookie

01-10-2005, 11:22 PM

Originally posted by mgoblue101415
There are no words I could come up with to convey my thoughts on this woman's comments....

Disturbing that a woman could say that.

But there's something to be said for openly whipping up a batch in public like that......

Really though, I ran across some of these paint huffing teenagers in Cancun. These kids were working at the bar in the flea market in downtown Cancun, away from the nice "touristy" area. They would literally be going into the nasty ass restroom every few minutes to sniff more SPRAY PAINT up their noses. They had it all over their hands and faces. It was a real mystery where they kept their inhalants too. Nobody would've ever recognized the ceiling tile in the men's room askew with silver hand prints all over it!

These kids were scary though. My wife would not go within 50 feet of one of them and I personally had my fist clenched whenever they were nearby. You should see their eyes. Frightening. Horrifying. Kind of like the eyes of the co-star in Signs when he saw the alien on the foreign home made video tape. They were just wild eyes from sniiffing that crap for days on end, no doubt. The restroom had liquid feces splattered all over the wall and if we (the guys) had to take a leak, we used cloths to touch the handle, then guard the door while your buddy held his breath. There is nothing nice about Cancun. If you think it's nice, take a 10-15 minute cab ride into the real Cancun. Hell, you can buy weed off of the cab driver, if you're so inclined.

mgoblue101415

01-10-2005, 11:45 PM

Originally posted by pookie
There is nothing nice about Cancun. If you think it's nice, take a 10-15 minute cab ride into the real Cancun. Hell, you can buy weed off of the cab driver, if you're so inclined.

You are most definitely right sir....

When we were down in Cancun we pretty much either stayed at our resort, the nicer beaches, or the "touristy" areas - Senor Frogs, Fat Tuesdays - that whole area.

I went down with a group of girlfriends and we were told by the staff at our resort to stick to the buses and stay away from the cabs, as there were several cases of cabbies driving to remote areas then raping their female passengers. More so when the passengers were intoxicated. And who isn't intoxicated at the end of the night down in Cancun??? So, needless to say, we took the buses.

But Cancun itself, really is a very dirty city. Kind of like Jamaica, so I've been told.

dropKickMurphy

01-11-2005, 08:44 AM

"I've gotten better ever since Mrs. Carroll put her hands on my ankle at a party a few days ago and prayed for my recovery," White said of coach Pete Carroll's wife Glena.

The next day, the entire defensive line showed up at Carroll's house, all claiming to be suffering from groin pulls....

dropKickMurphy

01-11-2005, 08:47 AM

"There is no girl out there who wants a filthy glue-sniffing street kid so the only way to relieve our sexual appetite is to masturbate," he explained.

Oh, come on fellas.....don't tell me you've never heard of Paris Hilton?!?!

dropKickMurphy

01-11-2005, 08:51 AM

Originally posted by pookie
The restroom had liquid feces splattered all over the wall and if we (the guys) had to take a leak, we used cloths to touch the handle, then guard the door while your buddy held his breath.

Pook, you're making me feel nostalgic about the old Foxboro Stadium....

B A Rabbit

01-11-2005, 02:16 PM

Outbreak of pubic panic sweeps Senegal

Move over, kidney thieves, the penis shrinkers are on the attack ... and under attack.

According to news bulletins out of West Africa earlier this month, lynch mobs were roaming the streets of Senegal hunting down foreigners believed to be sorcerers with the power to shrink men's penises. Allegedly, a handshake is all it takes.

Authorities in the capital city, Dakar, were frustrated in their attempts to defuse public hysteria after local newspapers began publishing photos of the purported "sex thieves" and a radio disc jockey claimed he had personally witnessed the "shriveled genitals" of a victim.

"The scenario of dread is consistent," reported Agence France-Presse.

"Someone who makes brief physical contact with a stranger on the street claims to get a chill, then declares that his penis is shrinking."
The phenomenon would be strictly laughable had not at least eight of the scores of suspected perpetrators attacked so far by vigilantes in Dakar and Ziguinghor been beaten or burned to death. Such is the havoc superstition can wreak.

The rumor is believed to have migrated from the neighboring countries of Cameroon, Ivory Coast, and Ghana, where similar mob scenes were reported earlier this year. Outbreaks of magical "penis shrinking" or "penis snatching" are not uncommon in West Africa. At least some of the hysteria is blamed on ethnic hostilities, but psychologists also cite the lack of education among African males, widespread belief in black magic and the loss of personal identity "in the face of an increasingly complex world."

The power of magic is not taken lightly in this region, which retains strong folk traditions of witchcraft and shamanism. The practice of Voodoo, the hybrid religion that took root in Haiti hundreds of years ago via the slave trade, had its origins in West Africa and still thrives there. The ancient fear of genital-stealing magicians may be a cultural analog of the psychological disorder known as "koro," or "delusions and acute fear of penis shrinkage."

The official line is that the current rumors are baseless, maliciously circulated by local thieves looking to profit from the ensuing panic. Indeed, it has been widely reported that the penis-snatching sorcerers are always sighted in the company of accomplices offering to sell unfortunate victims a quick cure. It reeks of a scam, yet the public remains credulous.

Authorities are resorting to extraordinary measures to cope with an extraordinary situation. Ahmadou Tall, Dakar's Chief of Police, went so far as to state that he had personally examined the genitals of several self-proclaimed "victims" and found no evidence to support their charges. "All the penises that I have seen are in the right place and they are quite normal," he told Agence France-Presse. Whether or not such measures will prove an antidote to what psychologist Mamadou Mboj has unabashedly labeled a "collective psychosis" remains to be seen.

MrWhite

01-11-2005, 02:36 PM

Originally posted by Supkem
Outbreak of pubic panic sweeps Senegal

According to news bulletins out of West Africa earlier this month, lynch mobs were roaming the streets of Senegal hunting down foreigners believed to be sorcerers with the power to shrink men's penises. Allegedly, a handshake is all it takes.

DAMN, I was wondering what happened, it must have been that door-to-door salesman that came to my house and shook my hand. So, it appears the same thing is going on over here as I am living proof :banghead: :banghead:

Ballbustah

01-11-2005, 02:51 PM

I wish womens private parts would shrink.

Flagg the Wanderer

01-12-2005, 01:51 PM

Testicle torn off by ex-lover

Press Association
Wednesday January 12, 2005
The Guardian

A jilted woman admitted ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her hands after he refused to have sex with her.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her former boyfriend, Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party. She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That's yours."

Monti, of Birkenhead, Merseyside, pleaded guilty to wounding at Liverpool crown court yesterday and will be sentenced next month.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term relationship with Monti towards the end of May last year. The pair remained on good terms and on May 30, Monti drove him to a party and then home again, where friends joined them for more drinks.

Monti told Mr Jones she wanted to discuss their relationship and offered him sex. When he refused, she grabbed his face and a struggle ensued.

Mr Jones threw Monti out of the house. She then smashed a window. Another struggle took place and Monti was knocked to the floor, from where she pulled down Mr Jones's shorts.

Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to reattach the organ.

Wendy Lloyd, defending, said her client did not remember much of the struggle. But she accepted the prosecution's version of events and did not claim to have acted in self-defence.

bideau

01-12-2005, 01:54 PM

Originally posted by Flagg Wanderer
Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to reattach the organ.

:Eason:

dchester

01-13-2005, 03:58 PM

Maybe Jeff doesn't play on the other team.

Garcia's Playboy Playmate girlfriend acquitted (http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3320060)

A Playboy Playmate accused of karate-kicking the ex-girlfriend of NFL quarterback Jeff Garcia was acquitted Wednesday of a misdemeanor assault charge.

But Carmella DeCesare, who is dating the Cleveland Browns player, was convicted of violating a protection order and placed on probation for one year.

Judge Anita Laster Mays also ordered DeCesare to pay a $150 fine and serve 24 hours of community service.

According to testimony, Garcia dated Kristen Hine, 32, four or five times but later dropped her for DeCesare, 22.

The Playmate of the Year testified Wednesday that Garcia cheated on her with Hine. Nasty phone calls and threatening voice mails followed and culminated in a confrontation Aug. 21 at the Tramp nightclub.

Name-calling ensued, and a friend of Hine's dumped a drink on DeCesare. Each woman had to be restrained. Hine accused DeCesare of grabbing a dance pole and kicking her in the head.

DeCesare told the judge that she was dancing on a table when one of Hine's friends started "coming at me full-force, swinging like a guy."

She said she kicked the woman in self-defense but denied kicking Hine. Garcia testified that DeCesare was defending herself. "It's embarrassing that I am here today, to be caught up in a situation like this," he said.
________
Glas (http://www.bmw-tech.org/wiki/Glas)

dropKickMurphy

01-14-2005, 08:38 AM

Pentagon Reveals Rejected Chemical Weapons (http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg18524823.800&print=true)

THE Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.

Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.

Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was to develop a chemical that caused "severe and lasting halitosis", making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.

The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994. The lab sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals". The plans have been posted online by the Sunshine Project, an organisation that exposes research into chemical and biological weapons.

Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was not known if the proposed $7.5 million, six-year research plan was ever pursued.

bideau

01-14-2005, 12:09 PM

Speaker Touts Stripping to 8th Graders
By BILEN MESFIN, Associated Press Writer

SAN FRANCISCO - The principal of a Palo Alto middle school may not invite a popular speaker back to an annual career day after he told girls they could earn a good living as strippers.

Management consultant William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing can pay $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.

"It's sick, but it's true," Fried said in an interview later. "The truth of the matter is you can earn a tremendous amount of money as an exotic dancer, if that's your desire."

Fried has given a popular 55-minute presentation, "The Secret of a Happy Life," at the school's career day the past three years. He counsels students to experiment with a variety of interests until they discover something they love and excel in.

But school principal Joseph Di Salvo said Fried may not be back next year.

The principal said Fried's comments to the class came after some of them asked him to expand on why he included "exotic dancing" on his list of 140 potential careers.

Fried spent about a minute answering questions, defining strippers and exotic dancers synonymously. According to Jason Garcia, 14, he told students: "For every 2 inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary."

"A couple of students egged him and he took it hook, line and sinker," said Di Salvo, who also said the students took advantage of a substitute teacher overseeing the session.

"It's totally inappropriate," Di Salvo said. "It's not OK by me. I would want my presenters to kind of understand that they are coming into a career day for eighth-graders."

That stripping advice wasn't the only thing that riled parents. Di Salvo said one mother said she was outraged when her son announced that he was forgoing college for a field he loves: fishing.

"He really focused on finding what you really love to do," said Mariah Cannon, 13.

Fried, 64, said he does not think he offended any of the students: "Eighth-grade kids are not dumb," he said. "They are pretty worldly."

dchester

01-31-2005, 08:11 AM

LARA FLYNN BOYLE'S 'SCANDALOUS NUDE FLIGHT' (http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/flynn%20boyle.s%20.scandalous%20nude%20flight.)

Movie beauty LARA FLYNN BOYLE has been accused of stripping nude and trying to seduce a fellow passenger during a recent first-class flight to London.

Passengers claim the MEN IN BLACK 2 star started behaving strangely halfway through the ten-hour British Airways journey from Los Angeles to the capital's Heathrow Airport.

But they were stunned when she stripped off her clothes and tried to climb into the bed of a sleeping stranger, reports British newspaper THE MAIL ON SUNDAY.

Flynn Boyle's publicist SARAH CULLIVER says, "It genuinely is completely inconsistent with her character and behaviour."

A BRITISH AIRWAYS spokeswoman confirms, "First-class passengers on board Flight BA 282 from Los Angeles to Heathrow reported that a female passenger in the cabin was behaving strangely."

A shocked witness adds, "People recognised she was Lara Flynn Boyle and saw her popping pills on board early in the flight.

"She was starkers, woke a passenger up, tried to get into bed with him, pulled open the blind and said, 'We're landing, get your clothes on,' even though we were more than four hours away from London."
________
arizona dispensaries (http://dispensaries.org/)

PA_PATS_FAN54*

02-03-2005, 03:56 PM

http://www.badjocks.com/

A UK youth soccer game between two Brighton teams, Seagulls and AFC Ashmore, had to be stopped parents of the Ashmore players kept dropping F-Bombs on the referee and encouraged their kids to "take him out.". Here's part of the ref's account of the game:
"I had cause to abandon the above game, due to the conduct of the supporters (parents) of AFC Ashmore for the following reasons. During the earlier stages of the game, I was aware of comments from the AFC Ashmore Supporters after I had given decisions against their team. These ranged from 'homer', to 'cheating bastard' and 'f*cking wanker'. The comments persisted during the second half, until every decision I made was met with comments such as 'f*cking bastard', 'f*cking wanker', 'f*cking blind' and 'You are nothing but an immature f*cking little cheat'. Having spoken to the spectators, comments continued, including (towards their own players), 'kick him in the head', 'take his legs' and 'take him out'. Having abandoned the above game due to abuse from the spectators, I became aware of a group of players/spectators following me to the club house. "I moved out of contact with the players of AFC Ashmore, only to hear comments such as: 'Are you coming in to the changing rooms or are you too f*cking scared?' And a reply of 'Yeah, probably, he f*cking well should be'."(Thanks to Dale Terry for that great f*cking link!)

kirjtc2

02-03-2005, 04:54 PM

Not exactly weird, but I think it was the result of a Pats fan. :)

http://vancouver.cbc.ca/regional/servlet/View?filename=bc_eagles20050203

Eagle slaughter called 'worst ever'
Last Updated Feb 3 2005 12:44 PM PST
CBC News
NORTH VANCOUVER – A North Vancouver woman made a gruesome discovery Wednesday night: the carcasses of 21 mutilated bald eagles.

Julie Bryson-McElwee was walking her dog around 9 p.m. near Cates Park, just off the Dollarton Highway.

She says her dog ran from her and wouldn't come back. When she went to investigate, she found the eagles.

Eagle talons and feathers are valuable
on the black market
Bryson-McElwee says it was a horrific sight – all of the eagles had their legs cut off.

She called police, who put her in touch with Bev Day, the director of OWL, a wildlife rehabilitation society.

* LINK: OWL Canada

Day says there is a black market for the talons of bald eagles, but she is still sickened by the slaughter.

"I don't know who would do this, but I'd like to have my hands on whoever did."

* INTERVIEW: The Early Edition's Rick Cluff speaks with Julie Bryson-McElwee who found the eagles and Bev Day, the director of OWL (runs: 4:52)

The Chief of the Squamish Nation says he's "shocked" and "appalled" by the mutilation. The area where the birds were found is near traditional Squamish territory.

Chief Bill Williams says eagles are occasionally used in traditional ceremonies, but he says the dead birds are provided by the province.

Conservation officers say that this is the worst slaughter of eagles they've seen, adding that they don't yet know how the eagles died.

Bald eagles are on Canada's protected species list.