The Tuna goes shopping - what groceries will he steal from NE?

[Hawg73]

Steve1 from Patriots.com started this thread over there before I had a chance. But I have been giving it some thought and this is what I think he'll do:

Coaches-

1. Pepper Johnson - wrote a book last offseason and p.o.'d a number of people with his candid opinions. Probably gone and Parcells can use him.

2. Romeo Crennel - I have no reason to think he is unhappy here because you don't hear boo-yah from the guy, but the Tuna's record is suspect without BB and he knows it. Who better to bring in than BB's number two guy? My guess is that they will offer him big bucks to go to Dallas.

Players -

1. Willie McGinest - when Parcells picked him just before Dallas, ESPN showed J-Jo slamming his fist on a table in the 'Boys draft warroom. He ended up trading down and picked a Willie clone named Shante Carver who busted. Big Mac's cap number is 10+M so it might be tricky but I have a feeling they will work something out. We can ill afford to lose him or pay him at this juncture. Bye-bye. Jones is going to want him that I'm sure of.

2. Ted Johnson - on the books for 5+M here and I doubt he will renegotiate AGAIN to play for BB. The guy loves Parcells and I guess he will take less to move to big D.

3. O-T-I-S - My guess is that we keep Myers and live with the growing pains and Parcells tries to squeeze some leadership and one more year out of Smith. Sadly, he has to go.

4. Greg R-R - Dallas needs o-line help and this guy showed real promise last year and then fell off the planet. My guess is that Parcells goes after him and tries to "get in his head". Not a bad idea. He won't be here that's for sure.

5. Victor Green - word is his coverage skills were declining and weren't that great to begin with. The tail end of last season showed his missing plays he once would have made. If they sign Tbuck and maybe acquire another safety I think he will be a surprise release.

Any thoughts on other potential Tuna harvestees?
Limericks? Anecdotes?

Maybe Pookie can be our mole in Texas to keep his ear to the tracks on developments.

[pookie]

Originally posted by Hawg73
Coaches-

1. Pepper Johnson - wrote a book last offseason and p.o.'d a number of people with his candid opinions. Probably gone and Parcells can use him.

2. Romeo Crennel - I have no reason to think he is unhappy here because you don't hear boo-yah from the guy, but the Tuna's record is suspect without BB and he knows it. Who better to bring in than BB's number two guy? My guess is that they will offer him big bucks to go to Dallas.

Players -

1. Willie McGinest - when Parcells picked him just before Dallas, ESPN showed J-Jo slamming his fist on a table in the 'Boys draft warroom. He ended up trading down and picked a Willie clone named Shante Carver who busted. Big Mac's cap number is 10+M so it might be tricky but I have a feeling they will work something out. We can ill afford to lose him or pay him at this juncture. Bye-bye. Jones is going to want him that I'm sure of.

2. Ted Johnson - on the books for 5+M here and I doubt he will renegotiate AGAIN to play for BB. The guy loves Parcells and I guess he will take less to move to big D.

3. O-T-I-S - My guess is that we keep Myers and live with the growing pains and Parcells tries to squeeze some leadership and one more year out of Smith. Sadly, he has to go.

4. Greg R-R - Dallas needs o-line help and this guy showed real promise last year and then fell off the planet. My guess is that Parcells goes after him and tries to "get in his head". Not a bad idea. He won't be here that's for sure.

5. Victor Green - word is his coverage skills were declining and weren't that great to begin with. The tail end of last season showed his missing plays he once would have made. If they sign Tbuck and maybe acquire another safety I think he will be a surprise release.

Maybe Pookie can be our mole in Texas to keep his ear to the tracks on developments.

I don't think Romeo Crennel will be coming to the Cowgirls any time soon... Parcells announced that he is keeping D Coordinator Mike Zimmer. However, the future of their Secondary and LB coaches are very much in doubt, so that could possible bring Pepper J into the mix, eh?

I could also see Willie, OTIS, Victor or any other number of ex-Parcells fossils coming to Dallas for a short time. I can also picture Tuna going after other blue collar Patriot players like Roman Pfifer, Larry Izzo or even Kevin Faulk! Should be interesting though, cuz Parcells is always jumping on any opportunity to stick it to the AFC East!

Originally posted by Hawg73
Any thoughts on other potential Tuna harvestees?
Limericks? Anecdotes?

Maybe Pookie can be our mole in Texas...

I was wondering the same thing myself. Nothing is more familiar to New Englanders than Parcells semi-annual scavanger hunt for Patriots talent. I would have thought he would be more interested in ex-Jets but since we appear to have most of those already Parcells can do some one-stop shopping.

I agree that Mcginest is a very likely target as is Victor Green. Any of the ex-Jets are obvious targets. Phifer is a possibility because he would be closer to his family in CA. Any chance we can get him to take Weis? Another that you may not have considered is Terrell Buckley -- there are few Pats more mercenary than he is. Special teams are always a big Tuna priority....

Then again what motivated Parcells to steal players from his neighbors in the past has always been one part familiarity and one part hurting a division rival. He might be more inclined to steal from the NFC East -- the Giants, Washington and Philadelphia.

Originally posted by Hawg73
Maybe Pookie can be our mole in Texas....


Now there's an idea.


However, in order to be a proper mole I think he should change his avatar. I can even put a cowboy hat on him if you want:

Here are a few excerpts that support my belief that "we" -- the Patriots -- may have the least to worry about with regard to Parcells' offshore mining operations.

------------------

Two retired coaches who could receive a call from Cowboys coach Bill Parcells as offensive coordinator candidates are former Alabama coach Ray Perkins and former Georgia coach Jim Donnan. Perkins, then the New York Giants' head coach, gave Parcells his first NFL job in 1979. Parcells and Donnan worked together at Florida State in the early 1970s.

---------------

The question was rather obvious. What did Jim Fassel think about Bill Parcells returning to coaching? "I assume that's in Dallas, right?" Fassel said, breaking into a smile. Long gone is the speculation that Parcells might come back to the Giants with Fassel directing his club into the playoffs, and Parcells yesterday officially agreeing to forge an alliance with Jerry Jones in an attempt to rebuild the Cowboys. America's Team is now Bill's Team. "If he wants to coach again I'm happy for him," Fassel said.

Jets assistant GM Mike Tannenbaum will not be leaving the Jets to join Bill Parcells in Dallas, someone with knowledge of the situation said last night. There was speculation Tannenbaum might join Parcells, but owner Jerry Jones' son, Stephen, handles contracts with the Cowboys.... Jets strength coach John Lott, a native of Texas, could join Parcells.

----------------------

The turnaround in Dallas will start not with the decision at quarterback, which Parcells considers the most vital position, or next spring's draft but with better special-teams play. He will use starters on special teams if that is required to improve. Parcells stresses winning the field-position battle, which the Cowboys lost this season. In a reflection of poor special-teams play, the Cowboys started only 14 possessions in the opponent's territory. Opponents began 34 possessions in Cowboys' territory.

--------------------

An ABC radio report yesterday quoted sources close to Cowboys coach Bill Parcells as saying he wants Vinny Testaverde to be his quarterback in 2003.

Jets backup quarterback Vinny Testaverde, who is under contract through the 2006 season but will make only $1 million next season, and Dolphins backup Ray Lucas, who is in the last year of a three-year contract that will pay him $750,000 in 2003, already have been linked with Parcells. "It helps to have a quarterback," Parcells said. "I've tried to make sure I've had that wherever I've been. ...I certainly will attempt to find that person to the best of my ability. Perhaps he's already here."

---------------

Does Ted Johnson envision himself joining Parcells in Dallas if things break down in New England? ``I'd love to be here with the Patriots, but that's predominantly out of my hands,'' Johnson said. ``As for other teams, it's way too premature for that. All I know is that (Parcells) drafted me, gave me the chance and made me a better player. That's all you can ever ask. And he was amazing off the field. He coached players, as opposed to schemes. He made an impersonal business personal.''


For more rumors, the full article:

http://www.benmaller.com/archives/rumorsnotes/2002_12_29_rumorsnotesarch.shtml

[pookie]

Originally posted by NoRespect
Now there's an idea.


However, in order to be a proper mole I think he should change his avatar. I can even put a cowboy hat on him if you want:

I would gladly use that cute little suckah for my avatar, but it is too big..... I just tried.

Originally posted by pookie
I would gladly use that cute little suckah for my avatar, but it is too big..... I just tried.


I can fix that. I helped Alice with her avatar as well.

We'll get ya' saddled up and ready to ride in no time there, cowPook.

[pookie]

Originally posted by NoRespect
I can fix that. I helped Alice with her avatar as well.

We'll get ya' saddled up and ready to ride in no time there, cowPook.

It's just gotta be shrunk down w/ a photo editor, of which I haven't one.

Pookie:

I shrunk this down. See if it works. I can remove the background ( I think), I am playing around with that right now. I still think that to be a proper mole in the Cowboy's organization he will need cowboy boots and a Stetson...but it's a start.

[pookie]

Originally posted by NoRespect
Pookie:

I shrunk this down. See if it works. I can remove the background ( I think), I am playing around with that right now. I still think that to be a proper mole in the Cowboy's organization he will need cowboy boots and a Stetson...but it's a start.

It worked sir..... Maybe you could make the background the same light grey color as the background on this page. That way it would blend in.

And it'll be a cold day in hell when I put a cowboy hat and boots on.

Originally posted by pookie
It worked sir..... Maybe you could make the background the same light grey color as the background on this page. That way it would blend in.

And it'll be a cold day in hell when I put a cowboy hat and boots on.

Aw come on. How about some of those cute chaps with the tassels?

I just got through making the background transparent but for some reason it still shows up white. Anyone have any suggestions. It is saved as .psp file and then I have to save it as either a .gif or .jpg in order to import it.

(If all else fails I should be able to put it on the same blue as the screen...but that would be admitting defeat.)

Originally posted by NoRespect
(If all else fails I should be able to put it on the same blue as the screen...but that would be admitting defeat.)

Oops. That will NOT work. I forgot about the alternating blue and white background.

[Hawg73]

Originally posted by FallingAlice
I see the Pats coaching staff staying here for the most part. I'd be surprised if even Johnson went.

Maybe you're right and all of the cross-pollinization between the Jets and the Pats wouldn't have happened....wait a minute, he brought a ton of ex-Giants in when he first started and a lot of those guys made Otis and Victor look like all-pros. He is a creature of habit and I wouldn't be surprised if he raids the roster. The Cowboys do have some pro-bowl types sprinkled throughout their roster but the real story of their desmise is not just coaching incompetency but J-Jo's Bobby Grier-like skills at drafting, which he took a hands-on approach to.

If it pleases the members of the jury I would like to present exhibit A: Quincy Carter.

[pookie]

Another little update from Big D on Tuna's coaching selections...

Parcells has opted to keep Linebacker coach Gary Gibbs. Dallas' LB corps were actually pretty darn good last year. Gibbs did a solid job with outside linebackers Dexter Coakley and Kevin Hardy and middle linebacker Dat Nguyen, who were three of the club's most productive players.

Parcells also opted to keep kickers coach, Steve Hoffman, which seems to be a curious move. Placekicker Billy Cundiff struggled most of the season and punter Filip Filipovic (say that 5 times fast) had one of the worst net averages (31.5 yards) in the NFL.

On another note, Jerry Jones said he has not yet met with Emmitt Smith to discuss the running back's future in Dallas.

[pookie]

Sorry, this is so long, but it's a pretty interesting piece on Tuna that came from the Dallas Morning News website. Normally, I would post the link, but the wonderful Dallas News site makes you sign up, so here it is copy and pasted.

The NFL's conference championship games produced some mind-bending questions.

What was Bill Parcells thinking?

What possessed the usually astute Parcells to back out of an agreement to coach Tampa Bay, which routed Philadelphia in the NFC final, but sign on with the Cowboys, for whom .500 would be a great leap forward?

Are the Cowboys sure they got the right man?

Is a coach who passed up a chance to work with players such as Tampa Bay linebacker Derrick Brooks all that sharp?

Parcells did not even get the better Stanford pitcher-turned-footballer out of the deal. The Bucs have human missile John Lynch at safety. The Cowboys have human fumble Chad Hutchinson at quarterback.

Parcells was Tampa Bay's coach for about two days last January. He accepted a four-year contract and asked the club to delay an announcement long enough for him to drive from New Jersey.

Something must have happened around the Vince Lombardi Service Area on the New Jersey Turnpike. Parcells changed his mind, and the Bucs ended up with Jon Gruden.

The Bucs met Oakland's extortionist demands for Gruden and got a steal.

In Gruden, the Bucs have a young (39) and innovative head coach with a record of success. Gruden is 50-30 in the regular season and 4-2 in the playoffs. Gruden outmaneuvered Philadelphia's Andy Reid on Sunday.

Earlier this season, Parcells said Gruden "reminds me a lot of myself at that age." When Parcells was 39, he had not yet had his first head coaching job.

Gruden took over a playoff team and pushed it higher than it had ever gone. Parcells' coaching history says he probably would have done the same job with the Bucs, but no one will ever know.

The official line from Parcells was the timing was not right for him with the Bucs. Unresolved personal issues demanded his attention. It was another example of the tumult that has marked his professional life.

There reportedly was more behind Parcells' change of heart.

Parcells found there would be problems putting together the type of coaching staff that he wanted. Many of the trusted aides who had helped him win with New England, the New York Jets and Giants were unavailable

Most of those coaches were off-limits this time, too. Parcells hired only one member of his inner circle: offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon. That suggests there will be a longer than usual orientation period for Parcells and the Cowboys

Parcells must teach coaches, which he did not have to do in rebuilding jobs with New England and the Jets. Parcells has heavily relied on familiar assistants.

One member of that group has meant more than the others. The curious point to Parcells' career is he has never been to the Super Bowl without the defensive work of Bill Belichick, but Belichick has been to the Super Bowl without Parcells.

Consider this:

• Belichick handled the defense for Parcells in 10 seasons with the Giants, Jets and Patriots. Those teams went 105-54 with six playoff berths, three Super Bowl appearances and two Super Bowl wins. Their only losing record together came in the strike season of 1987.

• In Parcells' other five seasons as coach, his teams were 33-46-1 with two playoff appearances.

• Belichick's New England team won the Super Bowl last season, a few weeks after Parcells jilted Tampa Bay.

If Parcells had carried through with Tampa Bay, he would have had the next-best thing to Belichick on his staff: defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Parcells also would have inherited far more talent than the Cowboys have.

Parcells will see the difference up close when the Cowboys play at Tampa Bay next season. Parcells could be questioning his own sanity by then.

Originally posted by pookie
Sorry, this is so long, but it's a pretty interesting piece on Tuna that came from the Dallas Morning News website.

The NFL's conference championship games produced some mind-bending questions.

What was Bill Parcells thinking? Are the Cowboys sure they got the right man?

Hey, no need to apologize, some of us read the BIG books. :) That's a great article. Written by someone who actually sees past the sound bites and understands how Parcells (or any coach) has success -- by building an organization that gets it, not just one man or half a dozen players.

Parcells must teach coaches, which he did not have to do in rebuilding jobs with New England and the Jets. Parcells has heavily relied on familiar assistants.

Most of those coaches were off-limits this time, too. Parcells hired only one member of his inner circle: offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon. That suggests there will be a longer than usual orientation period for Parcells and the Cowboys

The Bucs met Oakland's extortionist demands for Gruden and got a steal.

It will be interesting to see how much the draft picks that Tampa gave up end up hurting them. However, it they win a Super Bowl it will probably be a moot point. In today's NFL one trip to the Super Bowl is a lot -- so without strong draft prospects they had better plan on winning it. The flip side of course is the scary prospect of a Raiders team that should only get better and younger from that deal. I suspect that is a story that is far from over.

I think Parcells road to success is going to be a lot longer than usual as well. Assuming he can get along with Jones which is far from certain, he really doesn't have many of the mechanisms in place either from a coaching standpoint or personnel that he usually depends on. The Jets -- his last team -- have already been harvested by the Pats and his stable of coaches are all with other teams. What about his scouting staff -- any word on who he is bringing in to help rebuild? One other thing he doesn't have the advantage of -- any free draft picks from the Pats or Jets as compensation.

[pookie]

Bottom line in this story out of Dallas... Emmitt Smith is most likely gone and the Tuna held his first meeting and LAID DOWN THE LAW with the lazy Cowboys.

IRVING – Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Emmitt Smith discussed the running back's future for the second time in 10 days Wednesday, and an announcement could come as early as Thursday.

There has been no indication that Smith will return to the Cowboys for a 14th season.

He did not attend coach Bill Parcells' first team meeting on Wednesday because he was in Austin being honored by the state Senate as well as the House of Representatives. Smith was also honored at a dinner by the Texas Travel Industry Association.

Jones and Smith met last Monday for more than three hours at the owner's mansion. Then he said he would meet with Smith again and make an announcement at the end of the week concerning the 33-year-old running back's future.

The News reported last month that Smith would return to the Cowboys only if he accepted a backup role and a salary reduction from $7 million to $755,000, the minimum for a 14-year veteran. The News reported Smith would be allowed to gauge interest from other clubs to determine, if he could compete for a starter's job.

Releasing Smith before 12:01 a.m. Saturday, when the NFL's free-agency period begins, would give the Cowboys a better idea of how much money they have to spend.

Releasing Smith now means he would count $4.9 million against the 2003 salary cap, but the team would gain nearly $5 million in salary-cap room because he was scheduled to count $9.8 million.

Raghib Ismail was released Wednesday, giving the club another $1.9 million in salary-cap room.

If Smith is released too, the Cowboys would enter the free-agency period about $15 million under the salary cap.

Although Parcells has been complimentary toward Smith, he has said several times that Jones was handling whether Smith would return for another season.

Parcells met with his team for the first time Wednesday afternoon. And he left no doubt about who's in charge.

During a 45-minute meeting with players, Parcells introduced his staff, laid out his rules and talked about how and why he has been one of the league's most successful coaches.

Parcells, who won two Super Bowls with the New York Giants and led New England to another, discussed the importance of the off-season training program, hard work and discipline.

"I don't think there's going to be any confusion about who the general is and who the soldiers are," defensive tackle La'Roi Glover said. "It's a much-needed change."

Several players said Parcells' tone was firm, but not harsh as he addressed the team. While Parcells didn't tell the players that he didn't want his message revealed to the media, few wanted to reveal details of the meeting for fear of feeling his wrath.

"The most important thing is he laid his law down," running back Troy Hambrick said. "That's what the whole meeting was about. Come prepared to work because it's going to be a working family. He said, 'Let's get ready to play some ball.' "

Parcells wants to have one of the best conditioned teams in the NFL because he believes fitness is a key to winning games in the fourth quarter. The key, he believes, is getting stronger in the off-season. The players must spend at least four days a week training at Valley Ranch.

Parcells also wants them to pay attention to detail, part of his plan for making the Cowboys a more disciplined team.

Those who arrive late for a training session – one minute is considered late – will be forced to wait until the next session begins.

At the end of the meeting, Parcells asked if there were any questions. No one raised a hand.

[Peg]

Hey, Pookmeister--
Thanks for posting that article... I must admit that I have been very curious about what is transpiring down in Dallas... What do you think the odds are of Emmitt staying with the Cowboys? Should be interesting to see how it all plays out... I have a feeling that Parcells will help that team to improve dramatically this season. Of course, we find ourselves playing them this season, so I hope that they don't improve TOO much! LOL! :)

BTW--Won't Hawg be pleased to see one of his old threads revitalized in his absence... We should put our heads together and think of something out-landish that we can come up with to post a thread about Hawg before he gets back... Wouldn't that be a hoot?! What say ye?... :)

[pookie]

This is a pretty good article. The Tuna is treating these Cowboys like..... like..... football players. There's a couple of chuckles in here and a nice Tuna reference to BB.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_online/news/2003/03/25/scorecard/

Pook,

I like the sign "Dumb players do dumb things. Smart players rarely do dumb things." Simple enough. Time will tell which ones he has. I like the fact that he turned down the heat in the training room. That is a classic Parcell's move.


Will he still be grinning come December?

[pookie]

Originally posted by NoRespect
Pook,

I like the sign "Dumb players do dumb things. Smart players rarely do dumb things." Simple enough. Time will tell which ones he has. I like the fact that he turned down the heat in the training room. That is a classic Parcell's move.



Ya, that's hilarious! And like you stated he's got the temp in the training room set at 58. He won't allow the players to hang out and lolly-gag around in there. No food allowed, either. Dallas should be fun to watch after the draft to see if a raging argument breaks out between Tuna and Michael Jackson, er, I mean J. Jones.

Speaking of "Dumb Players do dumb things...Smart players rarely do dumb things". As I said earlier, time will tell which ones Parcells has. There's no time like the present.

It's time to play: "What Kind of Players Do You Have?" Who's our next contestant Bob?


DALLAS (AP) Dallas Cowboys defensive back Keith Davis and a security guard at a topless club were hospitalized after receiving gunshot wounds.


They "received" gunshot wounds -- always a thoughtful gift.

Davis, 24, was shot Sunday in the right hip and left hand about 2:20 a.m. outside the Dallas Gentlemen's Club, authorities said Monday. Club security guard Jacquois Thompson, 29, was shot in the left hip and right arm.

http://www.sportsline.com/nfl/story/6458855

Another one of those "I have absolutely no idea why they tried to shoot us while I wasn't in the tittie bar" stories. Entirely plausible. That is like saying I was only looking at the menu.

Isn't this the second incident in the offseason involving a Dallas player and a...Gentleman's Club? Gentleman apparently go there to put a cap in somebody's head. The last Dallas player ended up committing vehicular homicide on the way home from a strip club. Hold on to your mansiere Bill, that tight ship has a bit of list to it.

Thanks for playing Bill. Better luck next time. All of our contestants will receive a set of Lee Press-on-Nails, a couple rounds in the hip, and our eternal gratitude. Stay tuned. More to come from Dallas after these messages.

[pookie]

Well, Parcells is up to his old shenanigans again in Dallas. I just heard a little bit of his weekly press conference on the radio. The little piece I heard went something like this.

Parcells: Cason is now on IR, so obviously he's done for the year. No other injuries to report. Go ahead. Fire away.

Female reporter: Coach, do you think the 2 losses in a row are due to your competition simply being more talented than your team?

Parcells: Why the hell do you show up here every week with the same stupid questions? Next!


Greatness!!!

[BionicPatriot]

Originally posted by pookie
Well, Parcells is up to his old shenanigans again in Dallas. I just heard a little bit of his weekly press conference on the radio. The little piece I heard went something like this.

Parcells: Cason is now on IR, so obviously he's done for the year. No other injuries to report. Go ahead. Fire away.

Female reporter: Coach, do you think the 2 losses in a row are due to your competition simply being more talented than your team?

Parcells: Why the hell do you show up here every week with the same stupid questions? Next!


Greatness!!!

Thats our billy goy....:o