Dolphin22
01-05-2007, 11:14 PM
Office of the Commisioner
National Football League
10012 Ave. of Americas
New York, Ny, 10026
Gentlemen,
This letter is being sent out to all league rules officials to make sure that each and every one of you continue to comply with my dictate of September 2003 that the New England Patriots continue to recieve your personal favoritism on all calls that may have game-changing implications throughout the remainder of the 2003 season including the playoffs and Super Bowl.
As many of you may be aware, Patriots owner Bob Kraft has been indispensable to the NFL since joining us and his shrewd guidance during the last network TV contract ensured that all League executives and owners are all rich beyond our wildest dreams.
To show gratitude for this and also for a really great weekend that the wife and I spent with Bob and Myra at Kiawah Island we have decided to suspend the integrity of the league for the remainder of the season and give them all possible breaks.
I caution you all to excercise careful judgement so that it doesn't look too obvious and in this way can counter any claims of favoritism that may arise from other teams.
We think that by utilizing this clever technique along with proper timing that we can cause both opposing teams and their fans to assume incorrectly that the Patriots success is a coincidental streak of fluke luck. They will never know what hit them.
We all understand that the Patriots are simply not good enough to achieve this success without our help since they lack the requisite superstars that many other teams have and as we all know the NFL is a league designed for the these types of players so that we can continue to attract the financial support of sponsors such as Nike, Adidas and Chunky Soup.
Failure to comply with this order will result in immediate termination and forfiture of all under-the-table bonuses that are regularly payed out to officials who comply with the terms of this secret plan.
Oh, and keep it under your hats.
Regards,
Paul Taliague
Commisioner
National Football League
National Football League
10012 Ave. of Americas
New York, Ny, 10026
Gentlemen,
This letter is being sent out to all league rules officials to make sure that each and every one of you continue to comply with my dictate of September 2003 that the New England Patriots continue to recieve your personal favoritism on all calls that may have game-changing implications throughout the remainder of the 2003 season including the playoffs and Super Bowl.
As many of you may be aware, Patriots owner Bob Kraft has been indispensable to the NFL since joining us and his shrewd guidance during the last network TV contract ensured that all League executives and owners are all rich beyond our wildest dreams.
To show gratitude for this and also for a really great weekend that the wife and I spent with Bob and Myra at Kiawah Island we have decided to suspend the integrity of the league for the remainder of the season and give them all possible breaks.
I caution you all to excercise careful judgement so that it doesn't look too obvious and in this way can counter any claims of favoritism that may arise from other teams.
We think that by utilizing this clever technique along with proper timing that we can cause both opposing teams and their fans to assume incorrectly that the Patriots success is a coincidental streak of fluke luck. They will never know what hit them.
We all understand that the Patriots are simply not good enough to achieve this success without our help since they lack the requisite superstars that many other teams have and as we all know the NFL is a league designed for the these types of players so that we can continue to attract the financial support of sponsors such as Nike, Adidas and Chunky Soup.
Failure to comply with this order will result in immediate termination and forfiture of all under-the-table bonuses that are regularly payed out to officials who comply with the terms of this secret plan.
Oh, and keep it under your hats.
Regards,
Paul Taliague
Commisioner
National Football League